How did she know where to go? And where exactly was that? She walked with the confidence of one of the resident doctors. Why did they fucking choose Ob/Gyn for her? Did somebody in the organization still hate us, or was it just a coincidence? If that snaky Danielle was really gone, these assignments should have been pretty equal. But this one was like Demon Domination all over again.
Before long, we passed a sign with a stork carrying a pink and blue bundle in its beak. A pair of double doors opened ahead and loud lull-a-bye music tinkled through the air. Tara came to an abrupt halt as a nurse wheeled a woman toward us holding what appeared to be her newborn. I realized we were standing in the hall leading out.
By the time the wheelchair got close enough to 'see' I had my arm tightly around Tara's shoulder. "Oh my God," Tara whispered as they passed, watching the tiny baby and mother with the glowing smile.
Steve pointed to the doors ahead, reminding us why we were there. I turned Tara around, hating the resistance locking up her body. "Focus, love. Gramma needs you to focus."
She finally gave in to my ushering and we continued forward with her looking around like she was lost now. Dammit.
"Where are we going, sweetheart? You seemed to have an exact location in mind."
She held up her hand and stopped, thought a second, looked around, and pointed forward. I let out a slow breath as we followed her again. She came to a stop at a door and opened it, peeked in, and entered.
The next second found the three of us standing inside what seemed more like a "break room". Steve and I watched as she began setting up like she'd called ahead. Her OCD tendencies kicked into full throttle as she hurried around the small square, leaving Steve and me standing back to exchange silent concerned glances.
She finally turned to Steve with an arm-full of small posters that read Important Sex Class In Break Room At Noon. "Go tape these along the hall walls."
Steve held the posters to his chest, a look of Please. Please I beg you, don't make me on his face.
Tara gave him an encouraging whack on his arm with a sweet smile and a soft, "Move your ass."
"Did you call ahead, love?" I gently asked.
She turned that sweet smile on me now. "Element of surprise, sweetheart." She winked.
The sudden and insane need to fuck her in that very second locked on to my muscles and cock. Damn she was beyond hot when she was in control. And this level of kick ass self-control in the face of sure catastrophe had my skin buzzing with the need to dominate her, then lose my ass trying. So fucking fun losing to her. So goddamn hot being Dommed by her.
She gave me a pat on the chest then turned and got busy, either missing what she did to me or ignoring it. Pretty sure she was ignoring it and that added to the fire in my balls that she could. "I need you to get the products lined up on this table and tape these cards to them, please?" She'd said the cool words with her back to me, holding the index cards up.
I took them and leaned to steal a kiss on her cheek. I wanted to say so many things but I was too fucking out of my mind with desire. Whatever might find its way to my tongue would not lend to the situation.
I followed orders while she unfolded a compact easel she'd bought. I read the cards as I taped them, all of them explaining the functions of the toys and the health advantages to the woman using them.
This time love overcame me. She was so quick at being fucking brilliant, wasn't she? What if they shunned all these efforts? The idea made me want to quit the whole fucking game in that second. I hoped I didn't lose my cool when they did. Because my gut said this was not going to go over well, no matter how much medical sense it all made.
I noticed a few products on the table that weren't toys. Looked like a strange bottle with a suction part on the top and another something I couldn't make sense of.
A nurse came in and announced with a cheery voice, "What do we have here?"
She went to the table with all of our neatly laid out snare and gave a long gasp. "Ohhh shit, I can't believe you have this right here." We all stood quietly as she leaned and silently perused the items, reading the cards. "Oh my God, this is really interesting. Brilliant, I've never thought of this."
Hope surged inside me and I glanced at Tara who stood like a fearless soldier at her post. Steve stood in the corner, his tattered suit sucking away the fragile good energy we were striving for. I knew he didn't realize that in his dire effort to be invisible, he was setting off major psycho-predator-alarms, studying the ceiling with a fucking star-mapping intensity and randomly scratching various parts of his body.
The nurse finally turned with a bright smile and thankfully looked at Tara. "This is genius! Quirky," she added in a whisper, "but genius." She eyed me briefly then Steve, and apparently decided the weird little add-ons weren't that detrimental. "Let me get the ladies!"
She hurried out and we all sagged in relief. I turned to Tara and pulled her in my embrace. "You're doing it baby! She fucking loved it, wow!" I couldn't keep the thrill and relief inside from lifting her up and kissing her. She smiled against my lips and a minute later, a handful of women came in and did the same routine as the first. Again we all held our breath, waiting for the verdict. And again we sagged in relief when it was well accepted. The women laughed and giggled and chattered about the products being perfect for those jobs if one could overcome the odd concept attached.
"Well if you removed these stupid names from them, and renamed them with something a little more medical and official sounding. I mean we finger a woman's vagina every day and it's not seen as odd because of the context."
Laughter erupted with agreement. "Like this?" Another woman held up the nipple stimulator. "Just remove the 'pleasure' word and you have yourself just a device with a function that stimulates."
"We stroke the cervix on women," another woman said, holding up a toy designed for that. "I'd much prefer this, honestly."
"Safer than chemicals, too," another said.
"Exactly."
"Armageddon's coming! With security!" We all turned to find saucer-sized eyes in the doorway.
The women paused for a breath then a mixture of gasps and curses followed their scrambled exit, leaving us all standing in an empty room. Waiting for 'Armageddon'.
Chapter Thirteen
In a matter of seconds an older woman, weighing all of ninety pounds in her dark pantsuit and sensible shoes, and two uniformed security officers entered. "You are not authorized to be here doing this," she announced.
Steve raised both hands. "We were just leaving."
"Yes, you sure are." The larger officer's words boomed, like he'd been dying for an opportunity to police something, and he'd finally gotten it. He put his hand on Steve's shoulder and turned him and pushed him to the door. My body jumped into protective mode and locked up. He'd not pushed him hard but he'd better not put his hands on Tara.
I quickly helped Tara gather up the things, keeping my peripheral eye on him.
"Just so you know, Ms. Armes," a lady said from the door. "This may have been unorthodox but the presentation was legit."
The older woman huffed with anger, her cheeks going bright red. "They barge into this hospital without prior clearance to sell dildos? Have you lost your mind right along with these people?"
The woman at the door, the one who had checked things out first, raised her hands. "I realize they broke rules, but I'm just saying—"
"Get back to work, this isn't your business." Ms. Armes' pale blue gaze snapped behind her wire rimmed glasses.
We had our bags but we couldn't leave with the two police officers blocking the door.
"You got a problem, son?" the big need-to-bleed officer said to me.
"Yes. I need to get by and you're in the way."
He stepped closer, getting in my face. The look in his eyes said he'd been kicked out of the military for massacring a village and was pissed for his lousy demotion. Oh, wait, that was my father. No matter. Same look. "You got a problem, you better ask real nic
ely."
My body hummed with the kind of rebellion I knew I'd regret. "Can you please…move your ass…so we can leave?"
The dude swung me around and shoved me into the door, his bad breath at my ear. "This good enough?"
"Get your hands off of him!" Tara yelled, along with a frenzy of other alarmed voices that had gathered.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I yelled, not wanting her getting hurt by this grenade of insanity.
The dude suddenly hit the floor and I spun to find Tara grappling with a fucking police officer! "Don't fucking hurt her, don't you fucking hurt her!" I yelled. "Tara, stop goddammit!"
She let loose as I pulled on her and the officer scrambled to stand, with the other officer holding him back and whispering in his ear. Whatever he said made him look around at all the terrified faces and put him in check.
I led Tara out of the area only to be followed by the two police. "You will wait to be escorted out, do not leave this hospital," the half-sane officer said.
We all made it to the lobby where Steve paced. Before we could get to the exit, the asshole officer grabbed me again and pushed me into a wall. "You have the right to remain silent motherfucker, anything you spout out of that cocky little mouth can and will be used against your ass in a court of law."
"Are you kidding?" Tara screeched, "you assaulted a citizen."
"You're next," the officer said to Tara.
"Oh dear," Steve said. "I'll go—"
"You'll stay put," the other policeman said. "All of you are taking a trip uptown."
Fuck. "Cooperate Tara," I said. "Steve, you too."
"What about the Preacher?" Steve said.
"What preacher?" the policeman said. "What kind of sick operation do you all have?"
"We were raising money for the church," Steve said, while being cuffed.
"The church?"
Disdain filled the man's tone. "Sounds like a real Jim Jones outfit."
"No shit," the pissed off bully said.
"Better search them for Kool Aid." I glanced around to locate who had spoken. One of the nurses from the break room grinned and winked at me.
Fifteen minutes later, we all rode in the back of the police car in silence before Tara said, "You get arrested with your two best friends, what's the first three words you say?"
Steve and I stared at her, then each other before Steve muttered, "Uhh. We fucked up?"
She nodded with that answer and I looked forward. "You were awesome." She snorted and I looked at her with a grin. "You were."
"Bad police man," Steve said.
"That's… actually two words," I said. "Stupid ass motherfucker."
"That's four," Steve said.
"Motherfucker is one word in my book."
"Let's go again," Steve suggested.
"That was orgasmic," I added.
"Total cock buster."
We looked at Tara and she smiled. "Like… block buster?"
Steve grunted and squirmed in his cuffs. "Do you think we made a sale?"
Tara sighed. "I slipped a catalog in the microwave when the bust was going down. As well as put the website link on the posters still lining the hall walls."
I burst out laughing and Steve made up possible headlines for the newspaper. "Three musky-teasers single handedly brought orgasmic solutions to women around the world in one swift stroke."
Howling laughter and sexual innuendos had the police officer's gaze in a constant rear-view flicker as he drove us uptown. But I couldn't deny how good it all felt. It was definitely a feeling new to me. And I liked it.
****
After the glorious experience of being printed and booked, we were ushered into a holding cell. Apparently the town didn't have a big crime problem, since only one other person sat on the benches lining the cell. Garish makeup and flamboyant clothes announced the skinny woman's career choice.
She looked up and grinned, then stood and took a slow turn around me. "Whew, look what the cat done dragged in. Where you come from, baby?"
Tara stepped up to my side and glared the woman down. "My bed. Any more questions?"
"Relax, sugar. He looks more than able to handle us both."
I moved Tara out of the woman's reach at seeing she was ready to take another enemy down. "Not worth it, love. Ignore her."
We spent the rest of the evening with Tara glaring at the prostitute, until the woman was taken away. To make everything stranger, out of the blue, Tara broke down in sobs. After spending fifteen minutes calming her down, I managed to understand a few words out of the string of blubberings, but none of them made sense. Fat, ugly, broken, old lady. Hysterical laughter followed on the heels of her emotional break down and then finally exhaustion claimed her. Then me.
After a stiff night on thin mats, we woke, more tired than ever. The cell door opened. "You three." The booking clerk and an officer stood waiting. "This way. The judge is ready to see you."
Fuuuuck
We were ushered into what looked more like a glorified conference room than a court room, with the robed judge seated behind a regular desk on a little riser, his clerk to his left, and a bailiff standing dutifully to the side.
The judge glanced up with an impatient scowl. "So. Reality show contestants?"
We nodded in unison, not daring to speak.
"Tell me, how did my town get lucky enough to be blessed with these fucked up shenanigans?"
"Your Honor? If I may?" At the judge's impatient wave, the Preacher came forward to stand with us. "We meant no disrespect. The assignments were selected by the company, not the contestants."
The judge shoved his glasses back and rubbed his eyes. "I have to admit, the concept is original. Thanks to Mr. Lent, I've been in contact with representatives at Gladiator, Inc. They made some of the live footage at the hospital available to me." He glanced at the bailiff. "Get Officer Jacobs."
We waited in nervous silence until the bully/cop came in to stand not far from us.
"Officer Jacobs. Care to tell me what happened?"
"Your Honor, the male defendant, Bane, verbally threatened me when I sought to remove them from St. Agnes' premises, at the request of the administrator, Ms. Armes. Fearing for my safety, that of my partner, and the civilians nearby, I restrained him, but the female defendant then physically assaulted me. My partner assisted me in regaining control of the situation."
"Uh huh." The judge nodded to the clerk and she turned to flick on screen behind her desk. "Please direct your attention to the screen, and point out to me the exact moment this initial verbal threat was made, Officer Jacobs."
The cop smirked in my direction. "Certainly, Your Honor." The film started to play, and the starch gradually left the cop's spine. The actual footage captured on our three watches showed in three different panels, offering a tri- view of the situation, but really, all of them made you dizzy to watch. But the audio told the story we all wanted to hear. Thank fuck for those ugly ass watches.
"I'm waiting, Officer Jacobs. Maybe you were expecting grainy black and white security footage with no sound instead of HD digital with full surround sound? Too bad those people in that little village in Afghanistan didn't have that. I think we'd have seen a different result at your UCMJ hearing." The judge glared at us. "Get the hell out of here. As long as you never set foot in this town again, I'm throwing the charges out." He raised a finger. "You have until sundown to complete whatever business you might still have here."
None of us waited for another instant. As soon as that gavel fell, we high tailed it out of there.
Chapter Fourteen
Getting bonded out of jail by an annoyed Preacher Dom was the icing on the cake. What was he pissed for? It was our asses out there making fools of ourselves. Did we get our scores in and flunk everything?
We followed him silently back to the Hummer after collecting our personal property and being booked out.
In another McDonald's parking lot, the Preacher pulled out his laptop. "Scores are up." He held the
tiny computer on his massive legs, his fingers moving over the keys as he stared at the screen. We all waited with bated fucking breath, no doubt all resisting the urge to crowd around him and see for ourselves.
"No sales on first round, we already knew that," he half growled. "Ahhh but the humiliation scores were maxed out. Perfect. But not enough." He shook his head and tsked. "No sales at the second business."
"But…give it time," I said, "it was well received."
He quirked his brow.
Steve jumped in, "Before we were arrested the women were very into it, absolutely, there's going to be sales, I'm sure of it."
"Regardless, your night in jail cost us time we don't have, so, we're off to the final assignment." Preacher sliced his dark gaze to a suddenly nauseous looking Steve, who looked back and forth from me to the preacher.
Tara sat forward and put a hand on Steve's jumping leg. "Your assignment has specific products, we'll go over the various functions of each and what they could possibly be useful for."
His face slowly morphed with pained dread. I hurried to the back of the car, found the box with Steve's name on it, and put it on his lap. "Here you go."
He stared down at the box and slowly put it on the floor like it were fragile. Then stared at it.
"Go on," Tara said. "May as well…get familiar with them. Handle them."
He slowly looked toward her but never let his gaze raise higher than her ankles. He jerked the box to him, and sat at the edge of the seat. "Just gonna…quit acting like a cat covering shit on a marble floor with this." He opened the box and stared into it.
"Better hurry Steve," Preacher said. "Destination in about fifteen."
Steve's mouth slowly became an angry snarl and he forced the lids out of the way. It really sucked that he was the only one who wasn't allowed to look in his box until it was time.
Before he examined the contents he looked around at nothing in particular "I don't get why they're making me go to this place and do this. Funeral homes don't buy sex toys," he wailed.
"Saying it ten times isn't going to bring your fairy godmother," Preacher said.