Chapter 17: Jumping Off the Pedestal
A pedestal is as much a prison as any small, confined space. —Gloria Steinem
I woke up with a start as my mom pounded on my door and yelled, “Calli, are you in there? You’re burning daylight, dear!” I felt like I had physically and mentally got my eyas kicked. Although I loved sleeping in on the weekends, noon was a little bit later than usual. I dragged myself to the door.
“Sorry mom, I came home early so I could sleep in my own bed for awhile.” I smiled at her sleepily. This was a safe lie because she liked to sleep in.
“No problem. I just have to go in soon and at least wanted to have lunch with you before I go. And the phone has been ringing off the hook for you this morning. Keyana, Jazmine, and Thrace have all called,” she said.
I didn’t want my slight panic to show so I quickly said, “Oh, Flock! I missed karate. How about I change, wash my face and brush my teeth, while you get lunch ready. I will be downstairs in ten minutes.”
“Sounds good. Your dad is doing that extra shift, so he should be back by dinner,” she commented as she started to head downstairs.
I tried to process everything that happened the night before, but it was just too early to wrap my brain around all the drama—both human and immortal—before I had my caffeine. Maybe it was all just a totally freaky dream. I saw my laptop open. As soon as I typed in my password, my journal popped up, and I knew last night was definitely not a dream. Then I spotted my phone. I had several texts from Jazz and Key, but I opened the one from Rafe first. It said, “No, it was not a dream, Beatrice.” I couldn’t help but laugh.
I knew my ten minutes were passing by, and my mother would come back up to get me so I finally shuffled to the bathroom.
I grabbed my flannel pj pants to change into and bolted toward the bathroom. I needed to stay calm and in command until my mom left for work. Then, I could have my psycho-billy-freak out and go check on Thrace. After I made sure he was safe, I was going to have to decide what to do about our relationship, again.
I hurriedly washed my face, brushed my teeth, and put on some deodorant before heading downstairs.
Mom had made her homemade macaroni and cheese, and she had put some in a bowl for both of us. As I ate, mom droned on about the procedure she had to assist with. I thought about whether I should discuss possibly breaking up with Thrace with her. I better get my mom’s take on this cause she was definitely going to hear about it. I tried to broach the subject in a general manner. “Mom, do you think a person should stay with someone that they realize they only love as a friend?”
This statement shocked mom because I generally don’t share my feelings about my personal life with her. “I don’t know, Cal. It depends on the circumstances. I think the scenario happens a lot,” she astutely replied.
“I think I need to break up with Thrace. We are just not working as a couple even though he was all I ever wanted. In reality, we just don’t match up well. But, I don’t know what to do because it would kill me to lose him as my friend.”
“Tough one, Cal. Sometimes the truth hurts, but you have to be honest with him. Maybe give him some space, but let him know that you expect to remain friends with him. Well, I see it’s going to be a little tense around the Edonides and Oeagrus households,” she tried to joke.
“I should probably do it sooner rather than later. I will try to head over to his house tonight. I think this might be the hardest our stupidest thing I have ever done,” I groaned.
“It’s a part of growing up, my dear. Making tough decisions and following them through is never easy,” mom warned.
“Wow. Thanks for that cheerful advice, Mom! Needed that,” I mumbled.
She put her empty bowl down, came over to me, and gave me a hug. Usually I went stiff, but this time I held on tight and sighed.
“Well, I have to run Calli, but let me know what happens when I get home. Can you throw the dishes in the dishwasher?” she said as she headed toward the garage not waiting for an answer.
I quickly did as she asked, then headed upstairs again. Alls I wanted to do was sleep when I got back to my room, but my cell phone was already ringing. Rafe hesitantly inquired, “How was your slumber?”
I quickly replied, “It was surreal, as was the heart-to-heart talk I just had with my mom.”
Rafe sheepishly asked, “You finally let her know that immortals exist, and you have been hanging out with one for the past month?”
I just laughed at his lame attempt at humor. I let out a breath and told him that I was thinking about breaking up with Thrace. I finally confessed, “I just don’t think it is fair to Thrace for me to have feelings for someone else and still keep him dangling. But, he’s my best friend, and it is hard to let that go.”
“I am sorry to put you in this position, Calli. I know you love Thrace. But, I don’t apologize for caring about you. Plus, it will be safer for Thrace to not be around you so much if you are involved with immortals. The closer he is to that world, the more dangerous his life becomes,” he said in a serious tone.
I pondered this for a minute and had to agree with him. I never wanted what happened to Thrace last night to ever happen again. “Promise me if he somehow gets caught up in that again, you will try to protect him,” I pleaded.
“Calliope, I am the Protector of Humans. That is my job, Siren.”
As I said good-bye to Rafe, I thought about my next move and what needed to happen today. I tried to block out the immortal stuff and focus on the human relationship stuff. I called Thrace’s house. Honey answered and told me that Thrace had already left to go get his car from Spart’s house. I subtly tried to ask how they were doing. Honey said that they had fallen asleep in the den like usual and managed to eat a full breakfast before they left. She said that Thrace would be home this afternoon. I felt so relieved and some of the guilt of last night left me. However, I still needed to do what was right. I was about to trade in my own personal fairy tale for a world of Greek myths and legends.
I ran upstairs and took a quick shower. My hair still smelled like smoke from the rave. Once I was feeling all clean and fresh again, I headed back to my room to choose the appropriate breaking up with boyfriend clothes options.
Rules for Appropriate Breaking Up Attire
•Don’t look too good because then he will fight harder for you.
•Don’t look like a total slob, so he would tell people you were hygiene deficient
•Don’t wear anything that has special memories between the two of you
•Don’t wear mascara or eyeliner
•Probably best to wear something comfortable paired with running shoes if you needed to escape
The five-minute walk to Thrace’s house took more like ten minutes today. I tried to rehearse what I was going to say. If there was one thing I knew, it was that he was not going to give up our romantic relationship easily. I reached his lovely ornate door and knocked: decisions, decisions, decisions, SUCK.
Thrace opened the door, exhaled loudly before he said, “You are a site for sore eyes. You would not believe the morning I have had. Maybe you can help me clear some things up!” He then gave me a big hug that lifted me off the ground.
As he leaned down to kiss me, I stepped away and said, “We need to talk, Thrace.”
He seemed to understand the gravity of the situation and replied, “Let’s go in the den.”
As I walked toward the couch, I was flooded with what happened here a few hours ago. Thrace shut the door and turned to face me. “Thrace, what do you remember about last night?”
“Funny you should ask that. I remember driving to the rave with Justin and Spart, but then it’s all a blur. We must have been pretty messed up. I was hoping you drove us home because the car wasn’t here. What happened?” Thrace said urgently.
I reviewed my options in my head and tried to stick to the truth as much as possible, “Shortly after you got to the rave, we had a fight. We split up and
the next thing I knew I saw you, Justin and Spart hooking up with these three girls. You, your friends, and the girls headed out of the dance floor to parts unknown. I went to try to find you. You had gone into an empty room with the girls to hook up. I caught a ride home. It sounds like someone dropped you guys off.” Everything that I said was true even though it was the biggest lie I ever told.
“You think I cheated on you?” Thrace asked in disbelief.
“I know you did. I saw you on the dance floor. If kissing is considered cheating, then you definitely cheated on me. If sex is considered cheating, then I don’t know,” I said uncomfortably. I wrapped my arms around my midsection as if I was trying to hold myself together.
“No….No…..No. I would have never hurt you like that,” Thrace pleaded.
“Thrace, just because you don’t remember it, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. We are constantly fighting now. I think last night was going to happen eventually. It might have been you, or it could have been me. But we both know it’s been coming. You are just too stubborn to admit it to yourself. We were each other’s first love. I will not let the love or the friend part go, but I need to let the boyfriend part go.” As I finished my speech tears were streaming down my face because I could see the hurt in his eyes. It felt like my heart physically hurt. I wanted to comfort my best friend, but I knew that he would take any physical contact the wrong way.
Thrace looked so stunned with such pain on his face. His voice came out raspy as if he too were holding back tears as he said, “I don’t remember any of that! Please Calli, forgive me, give me another chance. We were meant to be together.” He took my hands in his as he begged.
I looked into his beautiful eyes and insisted, “This was inevitable if you could only see past this pedestal we put each other on. And of course, I will give you another chance, but it is another chance at being my best friend, not my boyfriend.”
My statement shocked him again. He was still in the haze and trying to make it go away by shaking his head back and forth. I finally said, “I have to go now, Thrace. I will give you some space if you need it, but I still plan on hanging out with you like my best friend. You’re not going to get rid of me very easily. If you want, let’s plan on doing something tomorrow. How about we go to the gym together?”
Thrace choked up again and threw me into a big bear hug, as he pleaded, “Please don’t leave me Calli I love you so much. Sometimes I think you are the only good thing I have going in this world.”
I gasped as if I was watching a scary movie. FLOCK! FLOCK! FLOCK! Emotional Blackmail Sucks. I blew out my breath and reigned in my emotions before I had a meltdown with uncontrollable homecoming queen sobbing.
I had my cheek against his chest and tears were still streaming down my face as I choked out, “Thrace, please believe me when I say I am not leaving you, and I still love you, but it hurts me too much to go on this roller coaster with you week in and week out. You still have me in your world you just don’t have to be sexually frustrated by me anymore. In fact, if you want to come to watch the Spartans game with dad and me feel free.”
My words didn’t seem to register to him. He just held me tighter. He was silently crying into my hair, and I just wanted to comfort my best friend right now. Knowing that I was the one causing him this pain was almost unbearable. Cinderella would be soooooo disappointed in me right now!
After a few minutes that seemed like hours, he finally dropped his hands. He couldn’t meet my eyes. He looked over my head to the opposite wall. He finally muttered, “I think I’ll take a pass on the game, Cal. I have some stuff to do.”
I tried to look up at him, but I mumbled down to the floor, “Ok, Thrace. I’ll call you tomorrow.” With that, I turned around and walked out on the only human boy I would ever love.
I sprinted home but didn’t make it in one piece. I literally felt like I was shattered in a thousand fragments of my former self. I just wanted to either get under my covers and cry or go find my blocking dummy and kick, punch, and strike it until I couldn’t lift my arms. I was not really a crier, so I had hit my quota for the day. I opted for the latter and found my blocking stand in the empty garage. I spent the next hour pummeling my feelings and self-loathing out of my system. I proceeded to drag my mentally and physically exhausted body into the house, up the stairs, and to my bathroom. I was standing underneath the steaming hot water that was scalding my skin slightly while I tried to scrub away the day so far.
I could not wallow in self-pity for too long before dad was yelling up, “Game time, Red. Get down here.”
I marched downstairs in my Spartans tee and bruised heart that I was going to shield from dad because he was a tad bit protective. Unfortunately, Spartans were known for losing steam both at the end of games and seasons--at least in football. In basketball, Spartans fans were muchhhhh happier. I was zoned out, but trying to at least groan or clap at the appropriate times. About half way through the second quarter, dad finally observed, “You’re not much of a cheering section today.”
“I worked out hard this afternoon, so I am a little tired. Has the coach slapped himself again, and I missed it?”
Dad chuckled at the reference to our coach’s well-known antics. “No slapping, but he is quite the drama queen.”
At half time, I offered to make my famous Buffalo Chicken Dip to avoid further father-daughter bonding. I managed to stay in the kitchen the whole halftime and tried to wrap my mind around the whole immortals thing. I finally lugged myself back into the family room with the dip, scoops, and a PBR for dad. The immortals thing was still unreal and bizarre to me.
Dad smirked and sarcastically said, “You must be vying for daughter of the year in this family.”
“Funny, Dad. Bet they love you down at the fire station,” I snarked.
“I got smartass of the year trophy—ten years running,” dad admitted proudly.
Unfortunately for dad, mom chose that time to walk in, “Language, Lethe!”
I mouthed at dad behind mom’s back “Busted.” Unfortunately for me, mom chose that time to ask. “How did the big break up go, sweetie?”
“Break up,” dad grumbled while never taking his eyes off the TV.
“It happened, I don’t want to talk about it, and I’d rather focus on two Big Ten Teams beating the crap out of each other,” I replied coldly without taking my eyes off the TV.
“Do I need to use a taser on the boy? Your mom won’t let me use my gun even if it is just a threat,” he demanded during the commercial.
“As always, thanks for having my back, but no taser necessary. We just work better as friends,” I said honestly.
Mom still looked concerned and wanted to talk. Now that the game was back on, dad just seemed content that there were no more boys “sniffing around me” and shushed mom. At the next commercial, she asked, “How did Thrace take it?”
Now, I had both my parents’ attention, again. I curtly pointed out, “As expected. Still don’t want to talk about it.”
She would not stop with her questions, “Was Thrace upset?” mom fretted.
My Irish temper got the better of me. “What do you want to hear, Mom? That he cried, that he wouldn’t accept it, that he begged….What part of I don’t want to talk about it don’t you understand?” My inner drama queen also felt the need to storm out and head to the sanctuary of my room, leaving my parents stunned.
As soon as I got to my room, I regretted my brattish behavior. I threw on my pjs, grabbed my phone, and stretched out on my bed feeling physically battered. I shot Jazz and Key quick texts telling them that I would give them the weekend scoop at school. Then, I used my parental reprieve to call Rafe and give him the promised update. Rafe sensed my fragile state because he softly asked, “How are you holding up, Calliope?”
I sighed and carefully answered, “I have had better days. I am currently in a time out for the rest of the night because of my Irish temper.”
“Calliope, I thought only I get
to see your Irish temper?” Rafe teased.
“No, it seems like I’m spreading the love around today,” I replied.
“Are you alright or do you need to take some aggression out on me?” Rafe offered in a husky voice.
“I tried that earlier today after I broke up with Thrace. I punched and kicked my bag for hours until I could barely lift my arms. But then, mom wanted details of the break up and wouldn’t take No for an answer,” I explained.
“Hmmm….wonder where she gets that from. By the way, did you get a chance to do your Greek mythology research?” Rafe inquired.
“Sorry, babe. Been too busy breaking hearts, beating myself up, and watching Big Ten teams brawl,” I replied using my alliteration skills.
“Hearts, huh. Who else has fallen in love with you while I was gone today?”
“The night is still young. I am sure I could betray someone else tonight. On second thought, I think I am going to crash and hope for amnesia in my sleep. Are you sure you can’t give me some of that chocolate amnesia,” I slightly begged.
This turned Rafe serious, “Do you regret breaking up with Thrace?”
“I do not regret the break up. I regret hurting Thrace. Hence, me turning all Irish drama queen on my mom,” I explained.
“Maybe I should let you get some peaceful slumber, Siren.”
“I’ll call you tomorrow after I do my Greek homework. Maybe, I’ll feel like beating up on you then,” I said as I got under my covers.
Hermes Field Log: October 2007
The future has arrived. Calliope found out about our existence last night, and she seems to be taking it well. Of course, I didn’t tell her everything, but enough that most people would run to their therapist. I am going to slowly have to reveal our many secrets one step at a time from here on out. I think the much-anticipated break-up with Thrace served as major distraction and lessened her incredulity. I think today’s media with its immortal and vampire books and movies have made us seem more credible and romantic. I am still waiting for her to recoil from me. She said she would do her research tomorrow. Maybe then it will finally hit her. I will have to confess to Apollo about her boyfriend’s involvement with Aglaea. He will not be happy that another immortal has seen our Muse. This might get trickier if Aglaea decides to call or possess Thrace. I will let Apollo formulate our strategy in regards to Thrace’s safety. From here on out my job becomes more complicated, educate her in our world while protecting her from it, stop myself from caring for her too much, and always remember that she might be destined for someone else.