How does New York today sound? We’re leaving…
I lift my stare as we fly past reception and out the sliding doors.
“Keep an eye out for a black Chevy Impala.” Fiona says, taking off her sunglasses. “Lukkah said he was here somewhere.”
Who is this Lukkah guy anyway? Is he someone we can trust?
“I’m trying to get through to Caleb. He—”
I’m cut off by my ringing phone. Caleb’s name flashes across the screen and my heart leaps into my throat. I really hope he isn’t mad. I hope the moments we shared in the car aren’t our last.
“Caleb?”
“A few hours, Cassia?” He growls. “What the fuck?”
I turn my back to Fiona who watches me with curious eyes.
“I know! I know, I’m sorry, but that’s what she wants.” I whisper back, slipping a finger into my mouth.
“Fuck her. Don’t go, Cass.”
“Come with me.” I chew my nail. “Caleb, please. You have to come with me.”
“I can’t come with you.” He shoots back, furious. “I have a job. I can’t just leave. I need notice.”
“Notice doesn’t matter. I don’t want to go without you.”
“So don’t. Stay. We’ll get our own place and do our own thing. You don’t need Fiona. You have me.”
This isn’t how I imagined this conversation going. I expected a little argument and then after a little discussion he’d realized that love is worth it. That I’m worth it. That’s how the movies go, isn’t it?
“There’s Lukkah!” Fiona announces and I glance over my shoulder as she waves her hand in the air. “Over here.”
Tears well in my eyes and I just know they’re going to turn ugly when they fall. “I can’t stay here…I can’t stay in Paradise Valley.”
Silence swoops in.
For a moment, I pray that it’s the silence of contemplation, but the longer it drag on I realize it’s the silence of the end. I purse my lips and they tremble.
“Caleb?”
“Uh…” He clears his throat. “I’m…I’m going to have to call you back.”
“We don’t have time for that—” A beep signals the end of the call. “Caleb?”
*Caleb*
My stare is glued to her familiar, yet totally alien face.
She tilts her head and tears seep into my eyes as I watch her reddish-blonde hair fall to the side, her side parted bangs tumbling over her forehead.
I rake my eyes down her tall, slender body and absorb her glamorous style. This is what Dad wanted me to rush home for? This is what he wanted me to see.
How is it possible?
“Hi, Caleb.”
Her voice is different, less baby, more…woman. I open my mouth only to clamp it shut as emotions swell in my throat. It’s my little sister only she’s not so little anymore.
“Penelope?” More tears prick at my eyes and I hate it. “How…? When…? I thought you were de—”
I cover my mouth with my hands and crouch low as my head spins. Sixteen. She’s sixteen now. All those years gone. All the torment I subjected myself to, all of the death anniversaries that forced me to grieve my loss over and over again…and my baby sister still lives and breathes? How? I want to know how.
“I’m alive.” She says, crouching low to be level with me.
A harsh blow of wind whips around us, blowing Penelope’s long hair to the left.
“How?”
“The man who took me…he was my father. My real father.”
Her real father?
“I don’t know what he told you, but he wasn’t you real father.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t want to taint Mom’s memory, but if I want to come back into your life you have to know the truth. She wasn’t faithful to David. She had me with Killian, a Scottish biker she met outside of a bar in New Orleans.”
I flinch. Did she just call Dad by his first name? And Mom…a cheater? I’m not buying it. Penelope might not remember, but Mom was a fucking saint. She would never.
“You were abducted…your information is practically hearsay.”
“My father’s mother was a pathologist. I’ve taken tests and I’ve seen photos of our Mom and my Dad together. Mom tried to cover her tracks, but when Killian found out she gave birth to me without telling him, he was devastated—even more so when he discovered Mom already had a family and was trying to pass me off as someone else’s child.”
My heart squeezes. Let’s pretend for a moment that she’s telling the truth…let’s pretend my mother cheated on my father and this Killian asshole just wanted to be with his daughter…how did Dad take the news?
“Did you tell Dad?”
She nods, her thin lips down turning. “He didn’t take it very well…he tried calling the police on Killian too, but that’s pointless.”
“Why?”
Her face pinches in pain and she can’t seem to smooth it out. “Because he died of cancer a few months ago.”
I swallow hard and avert my gaze. I can’t bring myself to say sorry. I don’t give a shit that her kidnapper died. Good riddance.
“If we go inside, I’ll tell you everything.” She opens her arms, wanting a hug. “I want to stay here with you. I want to have my big brother back in my life.”
Well, doesn’t this just put me in a slight pickle? I hug Penelope and hold it longer than necessary. For eleven years I’ve wanted to cuddle her and tell her how sorry I am for not being stronger, for not fighting harder. I never thought I’d get the chance, but here she is.
Penelope…my sister no matter the circumstance.
I tell her to go inside and pour us some juice while I grab something out of my car. Truth is, I need a moment to talk to Cassia.
There’s a bitter twang at the base of my throat I can’t seem to shake. I gained one beautiful woman in my life today only to lose another? I can’t go to New York with Cassia and it’s not fair of me to ask her to stay. I hit the green call button next to her name and then cancel it. I do it repeatedly…until my chest burns at the thought of talking to her. I feel like an asshole as I tap the text option instead, opting for the written word over the spoken.
I can’t go with you to New York, Cass. I’m sorry…my sister is here and she wants to stay. I thought she was dead for eleven years and now…I want to be here with her until my family is somewhat stable again. I know texting you is a shitty thing to do, but the thought of speaking the words out loud makes me sick to my stomach. I hope we stay in touch and can see each other again in the future…
I’ll miss you.
I read it. I read it a few times. It doesn’t get any easier.
It fucking hurts.
There’s a chance she’ll convince herself what we had was a fling and leave for New York without looking back. There’s also a chance she’ll tell Fiona to go fuck herself and stay here with me—where she belongs. If I’m being honest, I hope she goes. I hope she finds happiness and discovers her true self without the worry of her parents leering over her shoulder. However, the selfish side of me prays she stays. I pray she shows up at my door, throws herself at my feet and promises never to leave my side. I hit send.
I guess only time will tell.
*Cassia*
When I can’t possibly drown any deeper in tears, he sends another.
I love you. Always.
He loves me. Always. If that were true, he’d have the decency to call me. I’m happy his sister has come back—it’s a story I’d love to hear—but there’s no denying the bitterness punching holes in my body. Why now? Why did she have to choose today to make her big come back? I know. I’m an asshole for even thinking it.
Lukkah takes my bag and drops it in the trunk. All I can do is stare at my stupid screen. A text? He sends me a fucking text?!
“Sia? You all right?” Fiona asks, leaning against the body of the car.
I swipe at my face and grab the door handle. The metal is hot in my palm and I flinch away from i
t.
“I’m fine.” I bite out, wrapping my hand in my shirt and pulling the door open.
I climb in and sit against the grossly warm leather seats. I read his text again, ignoring the pain that rips my ribcage open.
He loves me. Always.
Just not enough to let me down via a phone call, obviously. It dawns on me that this is my first break up…and people willing go through this? Over and over again? I cringe.
How. Fucking. Depressing.
I never want to fall in love again. Not ever.
“Caleb’s not coming with us?”
My heart clenches and I swipe at my face a little more. He’s not coming to New York.
“Let’s go.” I mutter, winding down the window in desperate need for fresh air.
* * * *
We drive for hours. Occasionally, Lukkah glances at me through the rearview mirror, his golden eyes wrinkled with sympathy.
“You’ll find someone new.” He says as Fiona sleeps peacefully against her window.
“No, thanks.”
Lukkah scratches his broad, left shoulder and shifts in his seat. That ends the conversation.
I don’t want someone new. I don’t want to do the whole ‘get to know you’ thing all over again. Caleb knows me. I know him. The struggle it took to get to that point was…exhausting.
I glance down at my phone for the one millionth time and nothing.
That’s it.
Growling, I jolt toward the window and throw my phone out, watching as it shatters against the asphalt and disappears along the empty road behind us.
I should have known better.
One and a bit years later…
I whip off my apron and toss it on the bar. “I’m done.”
“Cass, stay back an hour. I need you!” Damon shouts, pouring tequila between the breasts of two college girls.
Remind me why I work at a backpacker bar again? Tits and ass is all I see and they’re not always female…or young.
“I’ve already stayed back three!” I call out, squeezing around Tammy and Christy who pour sickeningly sweet spirits into tiny shot glasses. “It’s movie night at my house, you know that.”
I slip from the bar area, push through the staff door, and slump into beautiful silence. Knock off time. My favorite time of the night.
I wash my hands in the dodgy, steel basin and grab my coat. I slip my arms in and wrap it around my body. I really need to talk to Damon about changing the uniform. I can’t keep leaving the house in high boots, a black mini skirt, and a shredded, white tank top—especially not in this weather. It’s freezing outside. Not to mention, I get stopped half a dozen times between Damon’s Bar and my house. I only live a block away so that’s saying something.
I tighten my ponytail and pluck my phone from the pocket of my coat. I text Nick to pick up some pizza on the way home since I no longer have the time to cook his pork. Why he needs to chomp on a pig’s ass while we watch movies is beyond me.
He texts back immediately.
Will do, babe. Will Fiona b home 2nite?
I respond:
Don’t know. Maybe.
C.
Hope not. I’ve had a mad boner 4 u all day.
Charming.
You need to work on your sexting.
C.
He sends me an eggplant emoji and a tongue and I can’t help but giggle. Idiot.
Nick and I have been dating for four months. We met when Fiona, Lukkah, and I finally made it to New York. Lukkah was moving in with his fiancé (now wife) so there was plenty of room for Fiona and I to stay in the loft. We’ve been living comfortably in the loft for a year now and don’t plan on going elsewhere for the moment.
Somewhere between then and four months ago, Nick convinced me dating him was a good idea…and he hasn’t let me down so far.
I race home as fast as I can, desperate to get out of the cold. No one is home when I arrive, but the heater is cranking so I take the opportunity to use the shower to wash all of the booze, saliva, and glitter off my body. I can’t do it in silence because our new neighbor has decided to throw a fucking house warming party and is blasting music like he—or she—is the only person occupying this building. He—or she—is a fucking asswipe and can expect a letter from me in the morning.
Like always, I take way too long in the shower and the water turns to ice without warning. Squealing, I leap from the shower and slip on the tiles.
It’s not elegant. At all.
And it hurts like a motherfucker.
I reach for the towel on the rack and pull it to the floor, using it as a divider between my wet body and the slick tiles underneath me.
After I shut the shower off and dry myself adequately, I slip into a pair of loose, white sweatpants and a black, long sleeved shirt. Because I’m late on the washing, it’s the only shirt I have left and there’s a reason it’s always my last choice of clothing. Every five seconds I have to pull it over my belly button. Somehow, it shrunk in the dryer.
I drop onto the leather couch and scroll Facebook. My mouth waters at the delicious dessert recipes that flood my timeline and I quickly save them to use as a reference for later.
New York has been good to me. Here, I discovered how much I like cooking and looking after plants. As the thought passes, something falls onto the metal landing right outside my window. It lands in one of my pot plants, bending the leaves of my biggest succulents.
“Not again.” I groan, lifting my tired body off the couch.
There’s a crazy woman that lives upstairs who thinks it’s just “so great” to drop her empty tin cans onto my plants. Twelve. I pick up twelve every week, at least.
In the freezing cold, I climb through my window and out onto the landing. The metal grate digs into my knees and my stupid shirt slips up, exposing my skin to the harsh weather.
“That’s new.”
My blood runs cold, freezing in my veins.
It’s not possible.
I grab the can, toss it over the edge, and push myself onto my feet. Hugging myself, I drag in an inhale, and I turn around.
It’s real…this is real…he’s real.
My heart pounds in my eyes, conjuring a devastating migraine. Caleb. Tears well in my eyes at the sight of him. Caleb Andrews.
“I…I…”
I have nothing to say. He’s as handsome as ever—thicker. Less boy, more man. I rake my stare down his body, taking in his black sweater, loose jeans, and white sneakers. In his hand, he holds a cold beer by its neck.
“When you move to New York you gotta get a tattoo, right?”
I grip the railing, as it seems to detach from the brick and threaten to fall. His blond hair is ruffled and messy, sitting exactly the same way it did the last time I saw him.
“How…?”
“I live next door.” He points out, grinning wickedly. “What a coincidence.”
His grin fades into a sincere smile and my heart constricts painfully. How can he be so casual?
“It’s good to see you, Cass.”
I launch forward and slap the beer from his hand. It crashes against the metal and rolls off the edge. Our eyes lock and a second later, the glass smashes against the concrete twenty feet below.
“You sent me a text.” I hiss through clenched teeth. “A fucking text message!”
He steps closer and his familiar smells engulfs me.
“I know and I’m so—”
“Sia?”
Shit. I jump back as Nick pokes his head out the window.
“There you are.” His dark, brown eyes settle on Caleb. “Who’s this?”
I swipe at my face. “This is, uh, this is Caleb. He’s our new neighbor.”
Caleb flinches and the heartbreak in his eyes just about tears my heart from my chest. I scowl at him. I haven’t done anything wrong. He can’t look at me like that. He didn’t come with me!
Being the nice person he is, Nick sticks his hand out. “Nice to meet you, Caleb. I’m Nick.
”
Caleb doesn’t move to shake Nick’s hand and my stomach turns. I’m going to puke.
“Nick?”
Caleb chuckles and I glare at him.
Frowning, Nick pulls his hand back. “Yeah…Nick. Hey, listen, you mind turning the music down a little? We’re about to put on a movie and I hate using subtitles.”
My heart pounds in my chest. Nick is such a friendly guy. He’s charming and honest, and doesn’t deserve the disrespect Caleb is showing him.
“You want me to turn my music down?”
Nick smiles, hopeful…but he missed the malicious tone in Caleb’s voice. “Yeah.”
“Not a chance.” Caleb pins me with a glare like this is my fault. “Enjoy your movie, Sia.”
I swallow hard as he turns his back on me and bends low, slipping back through his window and into his loft.
I blow out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and watch as it visibly swirls in front of my face.
Nick snorts. “What a dick.”
Oh, he has no idea.
First, as always, a massive thank you to my husband and my two beautiful daughters for giving me the time to get this done. Into Temptation is my first full length novel in over a year! It was torture, but we did it!
Secondly. Di…wow! Thank you so much for your time and for saving me when I needed it. You are the best.
Thirdly, a HUGE thank you to Lisa for taking my MS and showing me what a real piece of shit it is. I’m kidding! Thank you for helping me making it what it should be. You’re selfless, intelligent, and funny as hell.
Megan, YOU’RE THE REAL MVP!! How you got through the draft that I sent by mistake and still come out so positive is beyond me. You are appreciated. You are AMAZING. Thank you!!
To my wonderful beta readers, thank you for your kind words when I was on the fence about completing this novel or not and a big thank you to each and every person who helped me with Into Temptation. I appreciate it beyond words!