Books during gap days. I had already lost two days to protect his life and he was adamant to suicide. My two city friends helped me to protect Neeloy.
It was in the evening, at around 8.15 p.m. I was outside of my room for a moment to relax my brain and myself, whereas my brain was not working properly. I had just 12hrs at my hand to prepare and on my way to room, I met my one friend and he was also a student (my senior) of mechanical engineering. I explained a few lines about that incident and he agreed to give a book on Engineering Mechanics. It was around 9.30 p.m. I was thinking about my preparation. I was praying to god to give me at least a pass marks. I had a clear concept on that subject as I attended all the classes and lastly I had to adjust one more bed for Neeloy. Yes, I become selfish for the sake of my family, even they had an expectation but I tried my best.
“Hi brother, is everything all right now?” I asked to Neeloy.
“Miracle.” Rishabh commented.
“Yes.” by his smiles teeth.
“Good boy,” I relaxed.
“Neeloy, now let me know what was happened?” I asked to Neeloy,
But he did not explain anything and on the other hand, I had to explain more words to them.
“I usually afraid girls. I mean, I am very shy to any girls.”
“But dears, most of the boys are firstly shy to talk, but dears they are very simple by heart,” I said it to my city friends and Neeloy was seated beside me.
“May be they are simple but our way of thinking is different. We think differently,” Neeloy explained.
“Well said.” Neelon commented.
“Yes, you are,” I replied.
My working hours with Neeloy……………..
He was being my one colleague at the same office………………
“Brother, do you have any idea……………..” Neeloy asked to me.
“Idea on what?”
“About love……………”
“Hmmm……….”
“I am not so much experienced but a little bit experience on that.”
“What was her name?” I asked directly.
“Oh yes! Her name is Pratiksha,” Neeloy replied.
“Love is everywhere.” Mr. Pintu commented.
“A good name,” I complimented.
“Do you know its meaning?” I asked to Neeloy.
“Yes,” Neeloy replied.
“It means ‘wait’ and that’s why, still I am waiting for my love and waiting to fulfill my dream.”
“Yes, absolutely.”
“You don’t know brother. I am waiting for a longer time. I have lost all my strengths. I am feeling myself very alone without her, a life which is going far too realized.”
“Remember Neeloy, the greatest people have stood alone. You are not alone. Every minute objects inside our bodies and surrounding world still working. The Sun even not forgets to scatter its rays. Remember, the Sun is even independent. Don’t think so much. There must some way.”
“Yes brother, self help is the best help.” Mr. Pintu commented again.
He was just on fire. I tried my best. It is very common and it can happen to anyone. Some can tolerate and some are not. It is our determination. We have to make ourselves mentally strong. It is very simple to say and difficult to done. We human beings are very soft hearted. We are never tough. Everything changes with time but I think, we should not change everything with time and truly speaking we can’t change everything with time. It’s true. Firstly, we should not change ourselves, we can change a life but we can’t change its life period, which is already fixed. We can change a life but we can’t a desire, a desire to feed, a desire to live, and a life from sorrows, a cold to hot, a life without a soul and a life with ours.
It gives us pain only, a pain, which lasts for a longer time, a pain, which you can’t erase, and a pain that you can’t change. You can’t change which already changed.
Love at a party…………………..
“I saw her at a marriage party. She was sitting beside the bride and was looking so pretty with her green sari.”
“Wow! A very romantic moment it was!” I was smiling.
“All my friends were there at the party. We were from the groom side. They were busy with their marriage schedule and scattered here and there, but she was seated in a gathered room with her beautiful looks and smile and was covered by invitees.”
“So, did she talk to you?” I asked to Neeloy.
“How? Are you mad? I never saw her earlier and moreover that place was completely new and each one was unknown.”
“So, how you approached yourself?”
“Oh no! You are becoming very restless. Let me finish my words. It will take time. I am bursting myself.”
“Okay.”
“I am cool. You can proceed…………..”
“A hide and seek moment was going on. She seated there for a longer time. Everyone was looking at her. It made me jealous. I had a wish to enter the room but there were so many girls and even my sister was present there.”
“After that…”
“I waited near about three hours and was praying to god to see her outside the room.”
“So, you were crazy?” Rishabh commented.
“Yes Rishabh, a bit crazy.” I replied.
“So…”
“And at last, I saw her outside that room with a young boy like me.”
“Oh no!”
“But, I was happy at least. I was searching my friends but they had
Their refreshment with cold drinks and with more Indian sweets and for a fraction of second, I felt myself very aloof and felt myself filled.”
“Neeloy, you are very interesting.”
“ Three hours seemed like a second.”
“But with someone only…………….”
“He he…….”
“Yes Neeloy, you are right. It happens when our heart become energetic. It happens, when a girl is beside by you and tied your hands.”
“Energetic!! A new word.” Mr. Pintu smiled.
“Yes brother, you are right. I have noticed it earlier,” Neeloy agreed.
“Can I ask you something?” Neeloy requested.
“ Yes Neeloy.”
“ You have much more concept, it’s how?”
“Trust me Neeloy; I have no more idea on that but can say that I feel very shy whenever I talk to a girl through my cell phone.”
“So you already have someone?” He questioned.
“No Neeloy.”
“See Neeloy, I have a very few friends here and most of them are shy like me although all are boys. He he….”
“Leave me Neeloy, say about that night.”
“So, Neeloy, did you get any source?”
“Not a single source was there and was very upset for that.”
“Oh no!”
“I saw her one more time with that boy.”
“Oh jealousy!!!”
“Not at all. But it was looking so odd.”
“Why odd?” I asked to Neeloy.
“Not so odd. But, that boy was leaned against her. That boy was very thin like a skeleton.”
“It’s a jealousy.” Neelon commented.
“Neeloy, it was very funny at all.”
“But, it was my bad days; I seated there almost four hours and on the other hand a little bit bored alone on that same chair.”
“Neeloy, that was your desire ness and may be you become very excited,’’ I commented.
“Yes brother, a little bit excited and become very crazy but was an unlucky one,” Neeloy replied.
“Why Unlucky?” I asked to Neeloy.
“I don’t know brother. I can’t explain it. May be later. You don’t know anything about my past.” I was little bit anxious to know about his past life.
“Dear Neeloy, why are saying like that. Don’t say you are unlucky. You are lucky to your family.”
“See brother, you don’t know anything about me.
I am not lucky at all. How I am lucky? You are saying because I am cheering, I have a pain, two dark holes and no one can fill it. A pain, which already dug myself.”
“But…you are still alive and you can win your battles,” I tried my best to know about his past life.
“But, I can’t say whether I am lucky or not, but my friends were teasing when I was on that same chair alone for a longer time. I had to reply many more questions.”
“What happen Neeloy? Are you all right? Did anyone disappoint you?” his friends were asking to Neeloy.
“Nothing dears, I am happy here alone.”
“We were searching you but you are still at the same seat. You should move with ourselves”
“Yes, but I am very tired now and not feeling well. So.” Neeloy told them a lie.
“Did you follow someone?” One of his friends asked.
“Not at all dear.”
“No... you are not!”
“Trust me, I don’t know anyone here,” Neeloy replied.
“How can I say?
“May be someone, but you can at least enjoy the party, share a moment with us.” one of his friends requested.
“Let me say you…”
“Yes, I am here for someone and watching a cute one, but I don’t know whether I am a mad or not, but can say that I am going to be very mad.”
“Brother, do one thing. Try to visit that designed room. There is a girl with green sari. She is very pretty.”
“Neeloy, you very clever.”
“Okay brother, let me try but I am not sure.”
“So, did he visit that room?” I asked to Neeloy.
“I don’t know whether he visited that room or not because he was the most coward one in our whole communities.”
“Very funny.”
“Neeloy, I saw that pretty one, a decent one,”
“Brother, do one thing.”
“What?” His friend asked.
“She already visited this place three to four times with a skeleton. She can visit here one more time. So please, seat beside me. I need a courage,” Neeloy requested.
“Okay brother, don’t worry. I am with you,” his friend agreed.
“Please brother, don’t disclose it now. Otherwise they will laugh at me,” Neeloy requested.
“Neeloy, there is a way to approach,” his friend suggested.
But, there was a coincident. One of his friends noticed everything and was being very confused and had a fun with Neeloy.
“Love and cough cannot be hid.” Rishabh commented again.
“Please, don’t laugh. I’m here due to a reason,” Neeloy requested to his friend.
“I realized there must be some reason. But, what was the reason behind a chain. I was watching you for a long time,” his friend replied.
“There is not any reason. Here I am watching a pretty girl. I don’t know her, but she is busy with someone, may be her brother or a cousin,” Neeloy explained.
“Where is she now? Can I see that pretty girl? Do you know her? Did you see her earlier?”
“What are you asking? Are you mad or what? I didn’t see her earlier,” Neeloy replied.
“Okay, that was good. You at last decided. You need someone.” That guy had a fun with him.
“Don’t joke. I am not funny at all, I am damn serious,” Neeloy replied.
“Leave it Neeloy, let’s enjoy. Where is she? Let me see her,” one of his friends requested.
“But, you have to visit that designed room. I mean, you have to visit that room where the bride is!”
“How can I recognize her?” His friend asked to Neeloy.
“It was almost 11.15 p.m. I was becoming very hungry and agreed for the dinner on request, but dinner was very much satisfactory.”
“Really! But how Neeloy?” I asked to know about the dinner.
“She seated just very opposite to me and my blood pressure enhanced and my friends were helped me to slow down it and truly speaking, I felt myself very shy,” Neeloy replied.
“So interesting.” Neelon had a pleasant smile.
“It was good.”
“I was just watching her all activities. She was enjoying the party night with her dear and closer ones and on the other hand, my hide and seek moment was going to be an end.”
“Did there any gateway to share your words?”
“No. After our dinner, she escaped that place and I did not asleep and was in an illusion, it seemed a new life, a life away from a life.”
“Who was that groom? Was he your elder one or a cousin?”
“ He was neither my cousin nor an elder one. He was my neighbor.”
“You know brother? At last I got an easy path.”
“How? Did there anyone to help you?” I asked to Neeloy.
“Yes, my younger sister, Priyanka helped me.”
“At last, she agreed to help me. I told her about my situation. I had no way to expressed.”
“Was there any objection from Priyanka?” I asked to Neeloy.
“Why fear? She is still my idol. I don’t trust any idol but I respect my sister and she is being my idol. I lost my parents at our childhood. I have no one to share my joys and sorrows. I trust and respect my sister more than anyone in this cosmos. Even I can die for herself.”
“So sad for Neeloy.” They had a huge sympathy.
“ I am sorry, but I can salute you Neeloy. God bless her and may you live long.”
That was a real life, a real love and affection. Love can change anyone, whether it is our parent’s love or our some one’s love. I realized it on his face. I realized a real desire and madness. Everyone is thirsty to taste their own life and an adorable affection. Those are unlucky, will miss it all time.
That night, he was becoming very cheering and I had an advantage during that conversations. I had a chance to listen a poem from Neeloy.
“ I got my angel in you, you looking so pretty
and was feeling as I am in the heaven with an angel.
I was feeling as everything being closer to me,
I was alone, but felt very tied with someone.
Those leaves became very cheering and restless,
The night was becoming very long to stay.
I became very careless about all around me.
It seemed, she was beside me,
was feeling Myself very cold and shy.
That was not a mirage and
That was not an illusion.
It seemed as an angel’s looks,
You filled my lonely places.
I did not realize my destiny,
But had a dream ahead.
You can fill me and can fill my dream.
I am begging your support,
You can stand by my side.
I don’t want to cry more, stand by my side,
Be my friend and show my ways and my destiny.
Want to move together,
Let the night goes on and be my friend.
A life with me and a dream of ours.
It really hurt, when you lose everything, when you lose your dream, your someone dear. Those memories can never erase from our mind and heart, a heart, which is vacant. We suffer and we cry. We become very selfish. When we differentiate our status? Are we greedy?
Sometime love is softer than cotton and sometime it become very harder than an iron. Oh God! It was your beautiful creation. But, love is always uncertain. The word itself a fear and very far apart from us. We forget something, when we are in joys and misguide ourselves by taking some worthless promises. Love is based on some trustworthy promises and it lasts a longer time when there is an understanding. I don’t know how a relation breaks. No one can judge his or her own life. We should respect his judgment and listen what he judge. We can cure a pain but lost or failed in love, is such a pain, which you can’t cure and you can’t realize. Most of the girls can adjust themselves by their forthcoming situations. They can adjust any situation because they are the girls, one role of a mother
. They have a strong power to handle any situations. You can’t laugh when a child demands.
Neeloy was becoming very demanding. It made me silent. I can understand, how long a love lasts and how it works on our mind. He was looking so wetted. God even want to fulfill our dreams. None but he can understand the load of a love. Sometime he acted very cruel. It is natural; when we cry, we feel bad. You can never deny his proper judgment. Sometime we forget something that there is a supreme power and who already wrote ours own script.
Sometime his role becomes very mysterious and miraculous. How he can understand and define our feelings and a life? Our role is different in front of him. He is watching our roles. Sometime we think, we are the best and sometime, we want to achieve all powers