***
When they returned to Aelwen’s grove, Vicky texted her mum to say she was popping over to Heledd’s for coffee and a croissant. Then she curled up on her hoody and dozed for a while.
When she awoke, Blackbird was sitting astride a branch nearby, using the lead from a retractable pencil to write in a tiny notebook from a Christmas cracker. Heledd and Aelwen were conferring with him in a mix of Old Welsh and gestures. They were probably using telepathy too, something Vicky knew she’d never manage. She got up and went over to join them, expecting to be ignored, and was gratified when they welcomed her in.
‘Dare I ask how you’re all getting on?’ she said.
Blackbird explained the oak had given him two linked ‘spells’ – one which would help him return to Annwn, and another which would help him heal Tefyn. He had tried to use Fairy symbols of the kind used for spell writing to interpret what the oak had told him, but was still struggling with it.
‘Before I was cast out of Annwn,’ he explained, ‘the Elfish Council agreed I could reclaim my place if I healed Tefyn and put right all the damage I’d caused. But until I heal him, I’m still Nobody, so any elf can abuse me how they want. If Hafren catches me before I can get to Tefyn, he’ll make me suffer. I was going to take some charged up crystals from this grove so I could fight back with magic, but the oak tells me I have to return with nothing. No magic, no weapons, no tricks and lies, not even any clothes.’
‘That sounds really tough. You won’t have to remain naked until you’ve healed Tefyn, though, will you?’ Vicky asked.
‘Another part of the spell says I cannot take or ask for anything, but I must accept all that is given me, whether blows or blessings. So I have to wait for someone to give me clothes. It’s okay, I won’t get too cold, Annwn is warm for me.’ Blackbird said.
‘And you can’t even defend yourself?’ Vicky asked.
‘No. But killing is forbidden in Annwn, so I shouldn’t be beaten too hard. No-one would risk accidental killing, not even for a Nobody. The shame would be far too much.’ Blackbird replied.
‘What is all this Nobody business, anyway?’ Vicky asked.
‘Is my place in Annwn. Everyone in Annwn has their place. I used to have a high place for a fairy because I was close to Tefyn. But they made me Nobody, to punish me, so now anybody can abuse me as they wish. The only place lower than Nobody is Nothing.’ Blackbird lowered his head and spoke quietly. ‘People won’t even look at you if you’re Nothing. If you ask for something, it’s like you haven’t spoken. You can’t work if you’re Nothing. You can’t have a home. Even if you’re terribly sick, you won’t get help. It’s a slow, lonely death.’
‘So they won’t kill you in Annwn but they’ll let you starve to death? That’s inhuman.’ Vicky said
‘Elves aren’t human.’ Blackbird replied. ‘Calling an elf “human” would be a terrible insult. But elves stick to the rules, and nothing and nobody breaks the rules.’
‘But if you can lift the curse on Tefyn and get him to forgive you, won’t you get your old place back?’ Heledd asked.
‘Only if Tefyn decides that.’ The fairy replied. ‘And only if he’s still leader. Hafren and his Light of Truth party have been trying to unseat Tefyn for so long.
‘This Hafren sounds very sinister,’ Heledd said.
‘He’s been trying to destroy Blackbird for a long time from what I hear,’ Vicky said. ‘Sounds like it’s not just your wellbeing that’s at stake Blackbird, but the whole of Annwn.’
‘This is why I need to heal Tefyn. This is the spell – I need to make sense of these two.’ He showed Vicky his notebook.
‘A circle and a – what is that? Looks like the ‘please recycle’ symbol is exploding!’ Vicky said.
‘The circle means many things. Sun, moon, the world. Something which never ends, which always starts over again, and – what was the other one, Heledd?’ Blackbird asked.
‘Potential. Like a fertilised egg. Something which is waiting to become something more,’ Heledd replied.
‘Also it means “nothing”, but also “everything”. The blossom seemed to tell me I need to bring Tefyn, “the nothing which is everything”. What that means, I don’t know,’ Blackbird said.
‘And the exploding recycling one seems to mean “reciprocity” – whatever Blackbird does to Tefyn will rebound on him, and vice versa,’ said Heledd.
‘It’s starting to make sense. But where’s the magic, Blackbird?’
‘I need to use magic to heal Tefyn. But I no longer have magic of my own. So someone has to give me magic. Magic from Tefyn would be best – but I can’t even plan that, because planning is expecting and that’s almost asking.’
‘And you can’t ask for anything,’ Vicky mused.
‘That’s what the oak tells me. But the oak said it had worked before,’ Blackbird said.
‘Nothing new under the sun, eh? What about this other spell?’ said Vicky.
‘This is how it seemed to me when I breathed the scent of that blossom. The circle again, and the four elements – earth, air, fire, water. I need a little of each. I need them to be part of me. Except, when I thought “water”, I thought, “Someone who is like water.” So maybe I need to be like the air, water and earth, but not the fire, because there was a warning over the fire,’ Blackbird explained.
‘Well, not being fiery makes sense if you’re supposed to be passive. Maybe it’s saying you need to be flexible, fluid, like air and water, just roll with the blows. Although I’m not sure how that would fit in with the “earth” part,’ Vicky said.
‘Be enduring?’ suggested Heledd.
Aelwen gestured them to pay attention, and Heledd and Blackbird attended, whilst Vicky got nothing. Had there only been one other person present, she’d have assumed they were having her on.
After a short pause, Heledd explained it to Vicky. ‘Aelwen thinks the four elements relates to the four of us – us girls and Blackbird. You’re water, I’m earth, he’s air, and Demi’s fire.’
‘Well Demi’s certainly fiery. And you are rock-solid and stable. Not sure I like being called wet though! And is she saying Blackbird’s an airhead?’ Vicky asked.
‘But you do spend a lot of time in water. And you are fluid, you and Blackbird, you flow around obstacles and wear people down. But he’s even more subtle than you are – and, of course, he used to fly, still does with his bird-cape.’
‘So the four of us all together, makes the circle. And maybe we’ll need the full moon – it certainly helped last time there was magic to be done. Does that help, Blackbird?’ Vicky asked.
‘It feels right, yes. Like things is falling into place. Still not there, though. Need to make sense of this other symbol,’ he replied.
‘The one with the arrows coming and going?’ Heledd said.
‘That one. It’s the key. The others will help me get back to Annwn, I need to understand this one before I can heal Tefyn and reclaim my place.’
‘Tell me something,’ said Vicky. ‘Why do you want to heal Tefyn? To help him, or yourself?’
Blackbird paused, pursing his lips and tilting his head. ‘I have to want to do it for him, don’t I? Not for me.’ He sighed. ‘But that helps make sense of it. Thank you, Vicky.’
‘You’re welcome.’ Vicky was about to make a joke about how good it would be to get him out of her hair, but realised for the first time that he was leaving – and she would miss him.