Chapter 17. Giraffalumps and Angels
It wasn’t the first time Madryn Dencasa had visited Terra. But that had been some years ago. Back then she had sneaked into Terra with older, low-placed elves she was trying to impress, including her first crush. But her family was one of the highest-placed in Annwn, and the offer of full Citizenship, with all its privileges, had been enough to encourage her to ditch her wild behaviour. Besides, the boy she’d fancied had soon lost his appeal.
Now, she was on a quest to assist no less a Citizen than Hafren himself. There were conditions, but these were practical – no use of magic, no outright lying, don’t do anything with lasting consequences. It was a simple task, but it was a good opportunity to raise her profile among the younger members of Light of Truth.
On previous visits she had accepted dares, the main one involving the bridge over the fearful chasm of speeding, roaring lights. She still remembered the terror and incomprehension she’d felt as she’d been dared to walk across, and warned that if she looked down, she could be hypnotised and drawn to her death. It was on her third crossing that she’d dared to glance at the source of the chaos, and seen what looked like giant boulders hurtling down a slope. But there had been no slope, and the boulders had rushed in both directions. As she gazed, she saw, to her amazement, people trapped inside the boulders, peering out of crystal panes in the front. She’d realised then that this was some means of rapid transportation, and been fascinated.
Madryn stifled a yawn as she followed the sturdy little human’s directions, then realised there was no-one watching her anyway. It was a long time since she’d left Annwn’s sheltering cliffs and walls. It was a relief that she’d managed to get directions from one of the few humans with a modicum of intelligence. The other human in the grove had been a reprehensible creature, obviously unable to control its base passions. It was a little worrying that she’d have to deal with more of such creatures in this realm, especially as none of them would recognise her superior Place. Still, they were only humans. Feeble, stupid creatures with negligible magic. It was a wonder they were included in the ‘no killing’ rules at all. Maybe they just weren’t worth eating.
It felt strange that the sun was high in the sky when her bodyclock was telling her it was past midnight. Still, not too late yet, and the adrenaline was keeping her awake. She thrilled as she saw an ugly grey bridge ahead, and realised it would lead her across the fearsome road of speeding vehicles to her destination.
Junction 32! Madryn surveyed it from the safety of the footbridge.
It was bustling, yet lifeless at the same time. A huge, flat area, almost as big as Annwn town, was filled with the little transport boxes, all arranged with no thought for the overall effect. Big next to small, shiny next to shabby, all different colours mixed up and clashing. Who on earth was responsible for the arrangement, she wondered. But then she realised it changed constantly, as people climbed into the boxes and moved away, and other boxes which had been circling like vultures pounced on the free spaces.
At the edge of all this, strange constructions which made no effort to be attractive or blend with the surroundings. It was the oddest place she had ever seen, and she struggled to understand it. So artificial and hostile to life, despite the narrow rows of shrubs and the tubs of isolated, sickly blooms. There was a long, exposed walk from the bridge to Burg-A-World, which appeared to be a kind of tree with a giant bloom reading ‘Burg-A-World’ at its canopy.
There were many bright colours, suggesting a summer meadow or fruit garden, but she could sense they had no scent or texture, and the only sound was the roaring of the vehicles, drowning all other noise.
Madryn watched a group of people emerge from one of the travelling boxes. They crossed the open area, then entered a porch. No-one tried to stop them, which was good to know. Some other people exited the same porch, carrying packages marked with the Burg-A-World icon. So maybe the tree was a marker for Burg-A-World, rather than Burg-A-World itself. She decided to enter the porch and try to do as the humans did.
She cast a low-level cloak, which would make people overlook her until she addressed them directly. Excitedly, she crossed the flat area, touching the transport boxes as she passed. They were disappointingly devoid of magic. Entering the porch she saw a trading counter adorned with the Burg-A-World icon. Madryn approached the counter, a golden coin in her hand.
‘Provide me with a MegaMeal,’ she commanded the servant, ‘with Krispi-Twist Chips and ChokkaPie. And a toy giraffalump.’
‘You’ll need more than that for a MegaMeal,’ the boy behind the counter laughed. ‘And you’ll get what you’re given when it comes to the toys. We’ve only two giraffalumps left, and I’ve been told to give them to cute little kids, not people with no manners.’
Madryn was astounded. No-one in Annwn would dare speak to her like that – certainly not someone with such a low place. She fixed him with a commanding stare. ‘This is all I have. I was reliably informed it would be sufficient.’
‘20 years ago, maybe. Try the cashpoint over there.’ He was pointing at a screen above some buttons in the wall. Was that a cashpoint? If she pointed at it, would it provide more coins? She lifted her arm experimentally.
‘Dear me, love, you’re totally out of it, aren’t you?’ the boy said. ‘Are you with those weirdoes at the hippie fayre?’
Before Madryn could answer, a plump middle-aged woman with short, flame-coloured hair came bustling up. The woman’s clothes were almost Elfish – a long floaty tunic in shades of green over loose, bright orange trousers.
‘Do you do real coffee? Not instant? The biggest and strongest you’ve got, please,’ the woman asked.
‘That’ll be two fifty,’ the boy said, ‘You have got enough money, haven’t you?’
‘Oh, yes, lovey, I’ve got my purse. You know, there’s only herb tea at the fayre, and I need my caffeine fix every few hours. I didn’t dare ask over there in case I got a lecture about it unsettling my chakras. Is that what you’re after?’ she asked Madryn, but Madryn was saved from answering this bizarre question by a strange jangling sound from the woman’s shoulder bag. The woman apologised, rummaged in her bag, then extracted a small, flat oblong which she held to the side of her face. Madryn was intrigued to hear a human voice emanating from the object. She couldn’t make out the words, but the tone was troubled, and the woman’s expression confirmed it was bad news. Moments later the conversation ended, and the woman replaced the object in her bag. ‘Oh, stars!’ she exclaimed. ‘Are you going to the Esoteric Fayre?’ she asked Madryn. ‘Will you do me a favour?’
‘Yes,’ said Madryn, deciding that, as she was only answering the final question, she wasn’t lying. It wasn’t that she felt any need to help this odd little human, but maybe picking up a favour would gain her some human currency, which she desperately needed. She tried to focus on what the woman was saying – unfortunately, it made little sense to her.
‘…only I’ve already set up my stall, and done all my morning bookings, but now my sister’s rung to say mum’s taken to her bed again, and I’ve got to sort out the dogs because I’m closer, and my sister’s got to wait in for a delivery. I’ll be back to clear up – will you tell them that. Here’s my card.’ The woman produced a small rectangle with a tall winged figure in the centre, surrounded by the words ‘Doreen Skye, Auras and Angels’.
‘My real name’s Moonbeam Smith – I was born on an ashram – but no-one ever believes that,’ the woman continued. ‘I’ve always felt more like a Doreen anyway – Moonbeam sounds sort of tall, thin and pale, don’t you think? So if you’ll tell them I’ll be back in a bit – they’ll have to cancel my afternoon bookings. Is that okay?’
‘I’ll do what I can,’ said Madryn, walking away in the direction the woman had come from.
‘Oh, don’t go that way, lovey, it’s only the Ladies that way. The fayre’s across the car park, that way.’
Madryn changed direction, ignoring the way the boy behind the counter was rolling his eyes at her.
The Esoteric Fayre was experiencing an afternoon lull when Madryn slipped in through the open doors, and identified Doreen/Moonbeam’s table by the distinctive winged figure on a card beside it. Most of the people in the room were ordinary humans – uninteresting, totally lacking magic - but Madryn sensed the strong magical field around a woman busying herself with an arrangement of food and drink, and decided this must be the human in charge. She was the only one deserving of any kind of a Place. Madryn approached her, and told the woman she had a message for the organiser.
‘That’s him over there,’ said the woman. ‘I’m just one of the caterers. Hmmm,’ the woman straightened up and gave Madryn her full attention. ‘You’re genuine aren’t you? Takes one to know one. First time I’ve ever met another witch at one of these affairs.’
‘Witch! I’m not a witch! How dare you!’ Madryn said.
‘Oh, but you are,’ the woman said. ‘Magical, anyway, I can sense it, just like you must have sensed me. I’m sure most of this lot truly believe they can talk to angels or cleanse your aura or predict the future, but they’re about as magical as my mop. There’s something different about your magic – if you’re not a witch, what are you?’
Well, Madryn couldn’t lie. And she hated having to rely on such a low-placed creature. But maybe she could profit from the disclosure. ‘I will tell you – but what will you give in return?’
‘Pfft! I’m not that bothered. Keep it to yourself if you’re going to be stuck up about it.’ The woman turned away from Madryn.
‘No, please!’ It wasn’t a word Madryn used often. The witch raised an eyebrow at her. ‘I’ll tell you if you want to know – you’ll be glad you asked, I promise you. But would you help me out? I’m a little confused by this world.’
‘Are you telling me you’re not from Earth? Is that kooky woman who thinks she’s getting messages from Sirius telling the truth after all?’
Madryn told the woman – Katalin – her story. The human witch was impressed. ‘An elf? We don’t see many of your people these days! Well, I’ll help you if you give me a lock of your hair as a charm. It won’t be as magical as fairy hair, but I’m sure I can use it for something.’
This was so humiliating – and insulting. Madryn comforted herself by thinking of the hero’s reward that awaited her back in Annwn. She allowed Katalin to snip off one of her curls.
‘Okay,’ said Katalin, ‘so you need enough money for a MegaMeal. Well, your hair isn’t worth that much, but I’ll give you some advice. If Doreen the Aura is away for a few hours, take over her stall. Don’t bother with aura therapy – takes too long, and involves lots of hand-waving. Tell them you can contact the angels for advice. It’s easy – just look a bit spaced out, talk in a breathy voice, and tell them what they want to hear.’
‘I can’t lie, or use magic. If I do I’ll forfeit my quest,’ Madryn said.
‘You don’t have to lie,’ Katalin said. ‘Just get them to do all the talking, and look wise. Start each consultation with, “I can see you’re troubled – sit down and tell me more.” Use your empathy.’
‘My what?’ Madryn asked.
‘Oh, dear, is that the right word?’ Katalin said. ‘Still, I guess English isn’t your first language, either. Can you speak Romanian? No? Well, just try to put yourself in their position. Imagine how you’d feel if you were in their shoes, and what you’d want to be told, and tell them that.’
‘You expect me to think like these creatures?’ Madryn said. ‘I’m a high-placed elf, not some feeble human who can’t see what’s at the end of their nose. It’s not as if I actually care about their problems!’
‘You really aren’t very nice, are you?’ Katalin said. ‘You won’t get far with that attitude.’
‘Why don’t I just use telepathy?’ Madryn asked. ‘It’ll be exhausting, but I can pick up unspoken thoughts if they’re strong enough.’
‘Fine,’ said Katalin. ‘Do that. But a word of advice. Acting like Miss Haughty Princess is probably a good act for someone who claims to contact the angels. But act like you care about your customers too; if they think you’re not taking them seriously they’ll put in a complaint. Here, pull a face like this,’ Madryn copied the face Katalin was using – a mix of superiority and concern.
Katalin laughed, ‘You look a bit odd, but it’ll do. Use that face on your customers. And charge fifteen pounds a go – that’s Cardiff prices. If this was Manchester I’d say charge double; London fifty quid. Any more than that people won’t pay, but any less and they’ll think you’re no good. Oh, and talk about positive energy and affirmations; tell them if something’s meant to happen it will. And say, “what do you think” if you get stuck. Now, I’d better get on. All the good food’s been eaten and they’ll be back soon.’
Madryn returned to Doreen’s stall, passing another table with an eye-catching display of crystals of all colours. It was impressive, and beautiful to behold, although most of them were just pretty rocks, no use for storing moon- or sun-light. But there, almost hidden in the arrangement, was a fingernail-sized piece of rare sun-crystal. Even though it had been out of sunlight for a long while, Madryn could sense its vibrations. But its inconspicuous placement suggested the owner of the stall, a bearded young man with an open face and beady brown eyes, had no idea of its value. She picked up a lovely smooth pebble in a delicate shade of pink, and rubbed it between her thumb and forefinger. It was colourful, and sensual but devoid of any magic.
‘I can see you’re drawn to that one,’ the stall holder said. ‘It’s pretty, like you. And rose quartz will bring you luck. Have you ever used crystals?’
She didn’t tell him she used crystals to light and heat her home. That she used them to power charms, spells and illusions, and had once got into terrible trouble for raising a storm with the aid of an overcharged moonstone. She just answered ‘yes,’ whilst trying to remember what ‘luck’ was – one of the list of human concepts with no elfish equivalent, she remembered that from lessons, but what was it, and how could a piece of rock attract it? The stall holder then asked Madryn if she was a healer. How insulting, did he take her for a fairy? In that case, she wouldn’t feel guilty if she could get the crystal for a fraction of its true value.
‘Tell me,’ she said, ‘which is the most precious and powerful of these stones?’
‘Ahh,’ he said, an odd little smile playing across his face, ‘that would be the Angelite.’ He indicated a rock at he centre of his display. ‘It condensed from the song of the angels in heaven, then spent millions of years underground, compressing and absorbing the spirit of Gaia. It’s the wisest and the most cosmic of crystals. It can help you if you want to lose a bit of weight too.’ He gave her a conspiratorial look.
Lose weight! How dare he! Unlike ‘luck’, weight was a concept Madryn understood, but she was considered insubstantial as it was. What next – would he suggest she might like to be a bit shorter? Lose the curls from her hair? She wondered if there was a magic pebble that might help her feel a bit more confident around her mother – then realised that little of what he had said had made sense so far, so it was pointless to consider it. Strangely, though, although she could sense nothing magical about the Angelite, the young man didn’t seem to be lying. She didn’t bother trying to read his thoughts – too much effort - but all his body language suggested he completely believed what he was saying.
‘I don’t have much money,’ she said, truthfully, ‘But I’d like to add to my collection. Could you recommend some less expensive pieces?’
‘Most of the small tumbled stones are a few pence each. You can get one in each of the main colours for a few pounds. Maybe after your first customer you’d like to come back and treat yourself?’ the man replied.
Treat herself? For what ailment? Terrans were totally illogical. The man
was smiling at her as if he was trying to hypnotise her, but she noticed that people – well, Terrans – were drifting into the room. She needed to start contacting angels in order to make enough money to buy a MegaMeal – and some crystals. She returned to Doreen’s table, and watched the Esoteric Fayre’s customers. Most of them were anxious looking women, but a few were men. Such hairy faces! Elves seldom grew facial hair. But these Terrans positively cultivated it. If you turned their faces upside down it wouldn’t have made much difference to their appearance.
She settled herself behind Doreen’s table, and waited for a customer. It took a while, but eventually a young woman approached. Madryn wondered if she should pull the special face now, or try to look encouraging, the way her tutors had when she was a little girl. She went for encouraging, and it seemed to work. The young woman came closer, and Madryn invited her to sit. She had already worked out a few things about her customer as she approached – her appearance was a ‘mask’, of make-up, artificially coloured hair, strong scent and bright, tightly fitting clothes. But the way she moved, constantly nibbling at her nails – and what incredible nails, long talons decorated with multicoloured stripes – suggested she was less than confident.
‘Can you see the future?’ the girl asked Madryn.
‘I can’t,’ Madryn replied, ‘but the Angels are very wise. Tell me your problem and maybe we can find a solution. If I can’t help, I won’t charge you.’
‘I came to you because you seemed most normal. Least scary, anyways. Thing is…’ the girl looked around herself nervously. She chewed on a fingernail, which seemed about to come loose.
‘Take your time,’ Madryn said, giving her the Special Face. Inspired, she added, ‘The Angels don’t judge. Tell me, what’s your name?’
‘I’m Jenna. Jenna Breeze. Okay, well, the thing is, I’ve got two possible futures, and I want to know which turns out best in the end. I’ve been modelling since I was a kid…’ That made no sense to Madryn, but it was easy to pick up an image from the girl’s mind. Nothing to do with clay and young goats, then. ‘I’ve made good money from it, and I could do it as a career, but I’ve got a place at Uni in September, studying Modern Languages. I really want to go to Uni, live in a new place, meet new people, learn new things. I may not look it, but I love reading, and I’m fascinated by the way languages reveal things about a culture. But my agent keeps saying it’s a waste of time, I’ll never make much money from it, and I might as well develop my modelling career while I’m still young enough. I told him my idea of heaven was a library, and he said he could get me a lad’s mag contract shelving books up a ladder in a skimpy angel costume. Hope that doesn’t insult your angels.’
Madryn made a reassuring sound. She was still trying to interpret the startling image she’d just picked up. Was this really how Terrans made a living? What a bizarre species! She encouraged Jenna to continue.
‘Thing is,’ Jenna said, ‘modelling’s quite boring. I mean, I’ve gone to some nice parties in Cardiff Bay, and got free entry into nightclubs and stuff, but the actual work – it’s just lots of waiting around for people to tell you what to do. So I was wondering…can your Angels see the future? Can they tell me which will make me happiest in the long run? Not the most money; the most interesting.’
Sweet sunlight! thought Madryn. That’s not much to ask! But she had a feeling the girl had already made her decision, and just wanted reassurance. Pretending to communicate with angels would allow Madryn to play for time.
‘I see…’ Madryn said. ‘You want me to ask the angels to foresee the future for each of these two decisions, and tell you which is the best in the long-term.’
‘That’s it,’ Jenna said. ‘Can they do that?’
‘You need to be more precise. Write down each choice, fold up the paper, and…’ Madryn’s eyes searched the table, ‘place them in this container.’
‘That’s a sandwich box!’
‘It doesn’t matter. It’s to stop your thoughts interfering with the angels’ decision.’
The girl did as instructed, then Madryn placed her hands on top of the box and, closing her eyes and adopting a faraway expression, tried to gauge the girl’s almost-spoken thoughts. The part of the girls brain which formulated her thoughts had already done its job – it was only that part of her brain which operated her tongue and lips holding them back. Madryn saw the future the girl truly desired. After what seemed an appropriate interval she opened her eyes and lifted her hands from the box. She took a deep breath. ‘The Angels have considered the matter. They have looked into your heart, and seen that you favour one course of action. They believe it is the right one for you.’
An enormous smile of relief flooded the girl’s face. ‘My agent always says I’m too naïve to make decisions,’ she said, ‘but he can’t argue with the angels, can he?’
Madryn nodded assent, careful to hide her glee.
Jenna took some paper from a small bag and laid it on the table in front of Madryn. ‘Keep the change,’ she said. ‘Although from now on, I’ll have to be more careful with the pennies. Thank you – and your angels.’
As she left, smiling, with her head held high, Jenna paused to admire a small, pink creature dressed in a furry white costume that a slightly older woman was holding. ‘Aww’, said Jenna in an odd voice, ‘She’s lovely. Looks just like you.’
Madryn noted the positive response this earned. Personally, she found the small creature rather sticky and unappealing, but she guessed it was a baby Terran. Children were rare in Annwn, but Madryn had seen images of herself as an infant. She couldn’t help thinking she had been much more dignified. This thing looked as though it was about to start wailing any moment, and its face needed a good wipe. Again Madryn experienced the thrill of encountering such alien creatures, of interpreting their ways, and trying to remain undiscovered.
Madryn massaged her forehead. Although she was elated that she’d managed to pass herself off as an angel therapist, and make some money, the effort of reading Jenna’s thoughts had given her a headache. Humans were such a complex - if decadent – species. Who would have thought it was possible to make a living by getting dressed up and allowing others to make images of you!
But she needed to complete her task and return to Annwn. Was this piece of paper enough to buy a MegaMeal? The crystal man would know – and she could get that sun crystal too. Clutching the paper she moved through the fayre, noting the various stallholders and their anxious, eager customers.
Every stall had a customer or two. People were having their hands looked at, or turning over cards, or listening to someone explaining a chart. The crystal man was giving coins in change to someone who’d just purchased a large piece of striped brown rock. A woman with a table covered with bottles of coloured water was striking an enigmatic pose, eyes closed, one hand held over the heads of an anxious looking customer, while the other hand moved over the display, passing repeatedly over one particular bottle, until her hand clasped around it, and she presented it triumphantly to her customer.
The secret, Madryn realised, was to present a mystery which almost made sense, whilst maintaining that only the truly special and talented could understand it. And the customers – all they really wanted was someone in authority to tell them all would be well – and giving money to that authority was a way of making it happen.
Madryn passed several other stalls as she approached the crystal seller. The people she passed weren’t close enough for her to pick up their unspoken thoughts, but, despite her headache, she kept her attention on them. She was feeling vulnerable, and knew she could easily be exposed as a fraud – not for pretending to talk to Angels, but for pretending to be Doreen Skye. She needed to obtain the sun crystal, and the MegaMeal, and leave Terra as soon as possible.
The sun crystal was still there, overlooked among the more striking rocks. Madryn had already decided she needed to buy more than just the sun
crystal, so selected a few other pieces with her eyes as she approached. One each in blue, green and pink –they’d make a nice arrangement in her bedroom.
‘Hi,’ the crystal seller said, beaming at her. It didn’t take any effort to pick up his romantic inclinations. Desired by a Terran. How humiliating! ‘I saw you had a customer,’ he continued. ‘Come to treat yourself, have you?’
Why did he insist she needed treatment? These Terrans were so odd, but then they all seemed convinced they had some ailment or other. Swiftly she gathered her choices, feeling the sun crystal tingle in her palm before she handed it over to the vendor, who arranged the crystals on some padding in a small box. She offered him the paper money, unsure if it would be enough.
‘A twenty? Have you got anything smaller? That’ll just about clear out my float.’ Although the individual words meant little to Madryn, she understood she was offering too much money. She wanted to tell him to hurry up, but knew that would be poor manners. Although he was obviously low-placed, disrespecting him in this world would reflect badly on her, she knew that. She observed the name on his cards – Charlie Wimbush.
Charlie was showing her some larger pieces of crystal, suggesting that, as she’d made so much money so quickly, she could afford to spend more of it.
‘Please, just give me what I want,’ she commanded. She was close enough to pick up his unspoken thoughts, and they weren’t complimentary. The young man rummaged in a box of coins, and Madryn remembered her golden coin from earlier. She found it in her waist pouch, and offered it to the seller. ‘Is this enough?’
‘Not quite, no, but I think I’ve got enough in change.’ He slipped her note under a tray of coins as he spoke, and began to count out coins. Madryn felt a prickle at the back of her neck, and knew she was being watched. Without turning she tried to focus her attention on whoever was watching her, but they were too far away. Why was this young man taking so long? He was counting out coins as if there was all the time in the world. Maybe she should just give him the golden coin in return for the sun crystal, and leave. The sense that someone was watching her grew stronger, and she looked for an escape route. She had her back to the main entrance, but there was a door not far away, with a breeze blowing through it. Madryn turned slowly, and saw a young man – a recognisable type, some sort of guard in a uniform – approaching her, almost upon her. He was staring straight at her, and she knew she was in trouble. He opened his mouth, but before the guard could say anything, Madryn grabbed the box of crystals, and left Charlie counting change as she dashed through the doorway. It led into a bright, breezy L-shaped corridor surrounding an open area which was filled with people milling about. As Madryn slipped through an open door to join them, she picked up the subtle clues which suggested that many of the people there didn’t know each other that well, so they wouldn’t notice she wasn’t one of them. As she slipped around the back of the group, hiding behind some people in large hats, and a spectacular floral arrangement, she spotted the couple at the centre of the event. She didn’t need telepathy to sense the love flowing between them. A marriage ceremony, then. Almost perfect – she knew the guard wouldn’t interrupt such an occasion, not for such a minor misdemeanour. She could mingle with these people, then drift away in a few minutes. She’d lost her money, but she had the sun crystal – and making money in Terra was easier than she had imagined. There were even some young children at the event – surely, in their flouncy dresses, these little girls would count as ‘cute’? She was feeling so pleased with herself she was taken by surprise when a voice asked. ‘And whose side are you from? Darren’s or Kelly-Marie’s?’ Madryn turned to see a small plump woman in an enormous hat. The woman was holding a small creature covered in soft, curly white hair. Madryn understood then that the fake fur of the previous baby’s outfit had been an attempt to compensate for its hairlessness. This little human was even hairier than the hairy-faced men she’d seen at the psychic fair. Madryn decided to distract the woman by complimenting her child. ‘Ahh, she’s lovely, looks just like you,’ she said, copying Jenna’s tone of voice.
‘What? Are you insane? It’s a poodle! What on earth is the matter with you?’
It felt as though everyone was staring at Madryn. She didn’t even have time to think, she just gathered her skirts and fled.