CHAPTER XIV
Mildred's Choice
Among the new friends whom Mildred had made at Castleford none provedmore congenial than the Somervilles. They were a decidedly musicalfamily: Rhoda and Rodney both played the piano well, and the Vicarhimself had considerable skill on the violoncello. The Chorltons, whowere staying at a farm near the village, were also fond of music, somany pleasant little gatherings were held in the Vicarage drawing-room.Young Mr. Chorlton was possessed of a capital voice, and played his ownaccompaniments on the guitar in what Diccon called "true mediaevalstyle, worthy of Tiverton Keep"; and his sisters sang German duets withadmirable taste. Violet, who cared for nothing but outdoor sports, didnot often join these parties, but Lady Lorraine allowed Mildred to visitthe Somervilles as frequently as she wished. Mildred thoroughly enjoyedthe pleasant, unconventional home, so simple yet so refined, so full ofmany interests and much work--a home in which the general atmosphere wasstimulating to a degree, for the Vicar loved to discuss both literatureand the current topics of the day with his children, and generally hadsome intellectual subject on hand. He was an ardent botanist, and withRhoda's help had made a splendid collection of dried plants, which werekept on special shelves in his study. He was at present engaged inwriting a book upon the flora of the Lake district, and it was Rhoda'simmense pride and privilege to be allowed to help in the compiling oflists or the copying of certain pages. To be her father's amanuensis washer greatest ambition, and she treasured every hour she spent with himat their favourite hobby, whether writing in the study or hunting forspecimens on the hillsides.
Eric, the eldest son, was at Cambridge, in the same college, though notin the same year, as Mr. Chorlton. Rodney, who had just left school, waslooking forward to learning motor engineering at Kirkton. He was aningenious young fellow, and had made many clever contrivances at theVicarage: a windmill that pumped water from the well, an electric motorthat turned either his mother's sewing-machine or the churn in thedairy, and numerous handy little achievements in the way of carpentry.Mildred liked him by far the best of the three boys. Eric was ratherinclined to be superior and conceited, and to wish to lay down the lawto the rest of the family; and Diccon, who was still at school, was toofond of mischief to be taken seriously; but Rodney was perfectly frankand unaffected in his manners, in spite of his undoubted cleverness, andquite the most satisfactory at home.
Rhoda, so far, had been taught by her father, but she was hoping to goto school for a year or two to finish her education, and have theadvantage of mixing with other girls. She questioned Mildred eagerlyabout St. Cyprian's, and was anxious to hear every detail of the lifethere: the lessons, the teachers, the games, and the Alliance which hadlately been formed with so much success. As reminiscences of Kirktonwere strongly discouraged at The Towers, Mildred found it a great reliefto talk to Rhoda about the many interests of her school. She woulddescant upon the joys of St. Cyprian's, the fun of cricket matches orEisteddfods, and of the various plans that had been made for the autumnterm, till her friend was filled with a longing to go and taste thejoyful experiences for herself. Rodney also asked many questions aboutKirkton; and to these two confidants Mildred by degrees described allher home life at Meredith Terrace, the concerts she attended, herlessons with Professor Hoffmann, and the hopes he entertained that sheshould follow a musical career. She did not forget to enumerate the manyadvantages of Kirkton, and sang the city's praises with the utmostenthusiasm, setting it down next to London itself in the variety ofopportunities of every sort which it afforded.
Mildred sometimes took her Stradivarius to the Vicarage, and her friendsthere were both surprised and charmed with her playing, the Vicar, whowas a good judge of the violin, thinking even more highly of it than hedeemed it discreet to tell her.
"The child's quite a genius," he said to his wife privately, havinglistened to Mildred improvising one afternoon. "The music's in her. Youcan see it in her sensitive little face and her big dark eyes. She's anartist to her finger tips, full of emotion and poetical imagination. Ihave rarely heard such playing in a concert room, and to find both thetechnique and the spirit of such a subtle work as the 'Fruehlingslied'grasped by a girl of only sixteen is simply marvellous. Her owncompositions are full of merit, though naturally still immature; theyhave the right ring about them, somehow--they're original, and not amere reflection of what she has heard elsewhere. If she goes on with hertraining, she ought to have a great career before her, and make a namefor herself. I don't suppose they appreciate her talent in the least atThe Towers, and I can only hope, for the sake of the musical world atlarge, that she may go back to the relations who value her gift, and whohave cultivated it so carefully."
As September arrived, and the time drew near for Dr. and Mrs. Graham tocome back from Canada, Mildred naturally began to feel some anxietyabout the subject of her return to Meredith Terrace. The Lorrainesseemed to have taken it for granted that she was to remain permanentlyat The Towers. They scarcely ever alluded to the Grahams, and thoughthey knew that she corresponded with them, they never asked for any newsof them, and appeared to take not the slightest interest in theiraffairs, evidently regarding Mildred's life at Kirkton as a pastepisode, to be ignored as much as possible, and certainly never to berevived. How she was to break to them that she wished to return, nowthat her visit was over, Mildred could not imagine. She had really beenhappy at Castleford, and could not bear to seem ungrateful for all thekindness she had received, and she could only hope that some way mightbe found out of the difficulty by which she could leave without givingoffence.
September was a busy month at The Towers; not only was the house full ofvisitors, but people were continually riding or motoring over, andluncheon and dinner parties were of almost everyday occurrence. Violetand Mildred were allowed to spend a short time in the drawing-room eachevening, and the latter thus had her first little peep at society, andinto that gay world which her cousin looked forward so much to enteringwhen she should be old enough to "come out". Sir Darcy and Lady Lorrainewere going away soon to join a shooting party on a beautiful estate inScotland, and as a last effort of hospitality before their guestsdeparted, they decided to give a large "At Home", to which all theirfriends in the neighbourhood were to be invited.
"Everybody will be here," said Violet in much excitement; "theRochesters and the Markmans, and Lady Dorothy and Admiral Newson.Colonel Thorpe is bringing quite a big party, and the Musgraves havethat beautiful cousin with them who made such a sensation this season.Mrs. Dent says she sings, and we must be sure to ask her."
"Are you going to have music, then?" enquired Mildred, who was dressingin her cousin's bedroom that night.
"Yes, a little, I expect," answered Violet, sitting down to let the maidarrange her long fair hair. "And there'll be dancing afterwards in thehall. Most of the people seem just to like to sit and talk to eachother. I think it's a pleasure to them to meet. Do you like my pearls ormy corals?"
"Your corals, I think," said Mildred. "Will anybody else sing, besidesthe Musgraves' cousin?"
"Mrs. Cavendish has rather a good voice, and so has Colonel Thorpe. Oneof the Dents plays the piano; she always brings some pieces with herwhen she comes. I'm afraid people don't listen very much, they'regenerally talking so hard all the time; but they seem to like to hear itgoing on, and they always say 'Thank you!' at the end."
"How funny!" said Mildred, who could not reconcile the ideas of combinedmusic and conversation.
She had not before been present at a large party, and she was curious asto what would take place. She went into the drawing-room rather shylywith her cousin and Miss Ward. They were only to be allowed downstairsfor an hour, as Lady Lorraine did not wish to bring Violet forward toomuch while she was still in the schoolroom, and had told Miss Ward tosend both the girls to bed at half-past nine. Mildred knew very few ofthe people present, and she was glad to slip into a retired cornerbehind the piano, where she could watch the gay scene without beingnoticed herself. The room was full, and, as Viol
et had prophesied,conversation seemed so entirely to constitute the chief enjoyment thatthe music contributed by some of the guests was scarcely appreciated asmuch as it deserved.
"How do you do, my dear? I'm very pleased indeed to meet you here," saida voice in Mildred's ear; and, turning round, she found herself face toface with Mrs. Trevor, the lady whom she had first met at theProfessor's, and through whose instrumentality it was that she had comeat all to The Towers.
"I expect you will have nearly forgotten Kirkton by now," said Mrs.Trevor. "No? Well, at any rate I hope you have not forgotten yourbeautiful playing. Are we to have the pleasure of listening to youto-night?"
"Oh, no!" said Mildred, horror-stricken at the suggestion. "I never playhere, only practise."
"But we are all longing to hear you," said Mrs. Trevor. "I was tellingMrs. Dent about you only the other day, and she said she would like tosee your Stradivarius. Lady Lorraine! Is not your little niece going tobring down her violin? Either Miss Dent or myself would be charmed toplay her accompaniment. Please ask her to let us have some of herdelightful music. It would be quite a treat."
"Fetch your instrument, then, Mildred, if Mrs. Trevor wishes to hearyou, and will be so kind as to accompany you," said Lady Lorrainepromptly, but without much enthusiasm; adding, as Mildred blushed andhesitated: "Go at once, my dear."
Mildred had not expected in the least that she would be asked to performon such an occasion, and her natural shyness made her more than usuallydiffident. The guests looked up with interest as she took her place bythe piano, and, allowing Mrs. Trevor to choose a piece from among hermusic, began a "Fantasia" on some old Hungarian melodies. All theconversation was hushed, and those who had talked the loudest beforenow listened intently, attracted at once by the little violinist and hertalented playing, and asking themselves who she could be. Mildred wasvery warmly thanked and congratulated at the conclusion of her piece;many people examined her violin and spoke kindly to her, and both Mrs.Trevor and Miss Dent questioned her about her practising, and whethershe still continued to take lessons.
She had put the Stradivarius away, and had returned into the hall, whereshe was standing half-hidden by the curtain of the dining-room door,wondering whether she could find either Violet or Miss Ward, when shesuddenly became aware of a conversation which was taking place betweentwo ladies sitting on low chairs behind a group of palms close by her.As she did not realize at first that she herself was the subject oftheir remarks, and as, too, the hall was so crowded that she could nothave moved away just then without pushing quite rudely amongst theguests, she was obliged to overhear what she felt afterwards hadcertainly not been intended for her ears.
"It was wonderful playing," said the first lady. "She's as good as anyof those prodigies one hears in town, and a very pretty, graceful girltoo. Where did they pick her up?"
"Hush!" said the second. "She's Sir Darcy's niece. I'd never seen herbefore. She's really marvellously clever."
"His niece! Why, it's most unusual to find such talent in an amateur.She's equal to any professional."
"Well, I hear that she has been a professional. I certainly know for afact that she has appeared in public."
"But you told me that she is Sir Darcy's niece. I shouldn't have thoughtthe Lorraines would allow that."
"It's an old story," said the second speaker, lowering her voice stillmore. "Sir Darcy's sister made a disgraceful match. She actually ranaway with her music master. It caused a terrible scandal at the time,and Sir John never forgave her. I believe he was a very clever man, andplayed divinely, but of course nobody would have anything to do with herafterwards. I heard they were both dead. This is their child, and nodoubt it's only natural she should have been trained in this manner, asshe's been living among her father's relations. Sir Darcy has taken hernow, and intends to provide for her, but I really am astonished that heshould allow her to play here to-night, when everybody must know thecircumstances of the case."
Growing quite desperate, Mildred felt that she simply must move away,and, at the risk of being rude, managed to slip between a group oftalking people. As she did so, she caught a glimpse, at the other sideof the curtain, of Sir Darcy, who had also been standing in the shelterof the dining-room door, and she knew instantly, by his face, that he,too, must have overheard the conversation. Threading her way amongst thegroups of visitors, she at last reached the staircase, and rushing up toher bedroom she locked the door, and flung herself on to her bed in apassion of hot, angry tears.
Why should they talk thus of her father? she asked herself bitterly.Was his genius not equal, nay superior, to rank and wealth? Did theyclass her, too, as infinitely beneath them? Which was the higher aim inlife, to glory in the things that had been given you through no merit ortoil of your own, and to scorn all those who did not possess them, or tomake the very utmost of your talents, and let them be of some use toyour fellow creatures, and by working your hardest feel that you had atleast tried to take your share in the world's burden?
"I shall have to tell Uncle Darcy I'm going back to Kirkton," thoughtMildred. "I don't know how to do it, but it's got to come somehow. Idaren't leave it any longer, or Uncle Colin and Aunt Alice may begin tothink I want to stay. It's most beautiful here, and I get ever so manythings I shan't have at Meredith Terrace, but it's not home. They'revery kind to me, but they don't love me in the least, and I'm sure theywon't miss me when I'm gone. I'm nothing to them, and though it may bevery grand to live at The Towers, it's a hundred times happier in my owndear home, and among my own people who really care for me."
After all, it was not so difficult as she had imagined, for the verynext day the occasion arrived. The guests who had been staying in thehouse had gone away by the midday train, Miss Ward and Violet were atlessons, and Sir Darcy, Lady Lorraine, and Mildred were by themselves inthe morning-room. The talk fell on the "At Home" of the night before,and Lady Lorraine made some comments on the singing of Miss Beresford,the Musgraves' cousin.
"By the by, speaking of music, I should like to take the opportunity,when we are alone," said Sir Darcy, "of mentioning that in future Ishould much prefer that Mildred should not play her violin in public.There are several reasons which render it most undesirable that sheshould do so. I don't know whether Miss Ward is giving her lessons, butif so, they had better be discontinued, and she must confine herself tothe piano. A little music is a nice accomplishment for any girl, but Ido not consider it quite lady-like when it begins to rival professionalplaying; and as Mildred will not have to earn her living by herinstrument, I wish her to put her violin entirely aside, and turn herattention to other things. Do you hear what I say, Mildred?"
"Yes, Uncle Darcy," answered Mildred, trembling all over, and feelingthat the moment had come. "But oh, please, I can't give it up, becauseUncle Colin and Aunt Alice want me to go on learning."
"Dr. Graham is no longer your guardian, and has nothing further to dowith the matter," replied Sir Darcy, frowning slightly.
"But he will when I go back," faltered Mildred.
"When you go back! Why, I thought you quite understood that I had takenthe entire responsibility of you. I offered you a home at The Towers,and I always keep my word."
"You've been very kind--please don't think I've not been happy," saidMildred, speaking in little gasps; "but I only came for the holidays--myvisit's over now--and I think I had better be going soon."
"Do I understand from what you say that you choose to return to Dr. andMrs. Graham in preference to staying here at The Towers?" asked SirDarcy, as if he could scarcely believe the evidence of his own ears.
"They want me," said Mildred, bursting into tears. "It's my own home,and oh, I must go back!"
"I can't discuss the question with you now," said Sir Darcy. "I musttalk it over with your aunt. I'm certainly very much surprised to hearthat you should wish to leave us, but I consider you too young to settleyour own affairs, and I shall arrange the matter in whatever way Iconsider best for your welfare. In the meantime you must at
tend to whatI have said as regards your music, and I don't expect to hear yourviolin again in the house."
Poor Mildred left the room, feeling that she was in dire disgrace. Sheknew that she had not explained herself properly, and that both heruncle and aunt would think that she was making a very poor return fortheir kindness to her. She could tell from the coldness of their mannerduring the next few days that they considered her both unreasonable andungrateful, and the knowledge added to her unhappiness. She put theStradivarius safely away inside her wardrobe; she did not dare topractise now, and only hoped that Sir Darcy would not take her violinaway from her altogether.
"I can't give it up, and I won't!" she said to herself. "No more than Imean to give up Uncle Colin and Aunt Alice. I'd rather have my musicthan anything they can offer me instead, and I shall go Back to Kirkton,if I have to run away."
She wondered what Sir Darcy intended to arrange for her future, andwhether he would be able to keep her at The Towers against her will.Would Uncle Colin be willing to resign her? And would she perhaps neversee either him or her aunt again? The misery of the prospect seemedalmost more than she could bear to contemplate, and she went about in astate of such dejection that Violet, to whom the whole affair wasincomprehensible, rallied her continually on her low spirits.
Matters were at this crisis when Mildred one morning received a letterin Mrs. Graham's handwriting--not in the thin envelope with the foreignstamp that she had been in the habit of looking out for lately, but astout English one, bearing the familiar Kirkton postmark.
"Oh! They're back at last!" she cried with delight as she tore it open.
Dr. and Mrs. Graham had indeed returned to Meredith Terrace, and theynow wrote to Mildred to tell her that the time had come when she mustmake her choice between their home and the Lorraines'.
"We do not wish to influence you in any way, darling," wrote her aunt."You must act entirely for your own happiness. If you feel that youwould rather remain at The Towers, it is our earnest desire that youshould do so; but if, on the other hand, you still cling to us, you willfind the very biggest welcome waiting for you here. Your uncle iswriting to Sir Darcy by this post, so no doubt he will speak to youabout the matter."
"As if I could want to give them up!" cried Mildred, kissing thesignature. "I'm so glad they are at Kirkton again, for they feel so muchnearer to me now. I wonder what Uncle Colin has written to Uncle Darcy,and what he'll say to me?"
Mildred had not long to wait, for after breakfast that morning Sir Darcycalled her into the library, where he and Lady Lorraine had evidentlybeen consulting over a letter which he held in his hand.
"I wish to have a little talk with you, Mildred," he said, ratherstiffly. "I have here a communication from Dr. Graham, in which hestates that, as representing your father's family, he considers himselfto be your joint guardian. He is equally willing with myself to beresponsible for you, and it appears he is anxious that you shouldreceive a special musical training. I have talked the matter over withyour aunt, and we have come to the conclusion that it will be better toallow you to decide for yourself whether you make your home with us orwith the Grahams. If you wish to stay here, you will have the benefit ofmany social advantages which you would certainly not find at Kirkton;but, on the other hand, I cannot undertake to encourage your study ofthe violin. We are willing on our part to do our best for you, to giveyou a good general education, to introduce you into society when you areat an age to leave the schoolroom, and to make such provision for you asto ensure that you should never be in want. More than this I cannot say,and it only remains for you, therefore, to take your choice between yourtwo guardians."
"You've been very good to me, and so has Aunt Geraldine," said Mildred,summoning up all her courage. "I can never forget your kindness, orthank you enough for it; but Uncle Colin and Aunt Alice are just like myfather and mother. I've lived with them ever since I was a baby, and Ican't help loving them the best. I don't want to give up my violineither; I feel as if it would be giving up my birthright. So pleasedon't think me ungrateful, but I feel that my home's at Kirkton. It'swhere I've been brought up, and I'm really happier there. I know youwould have been very kind indeed to me if I had stayed at The Towers,but as I may have my choice, I should like to go back to MeredithTerrace."
Mildred had felt some apprehension as to how Sir Darcy and Lady Lorrainewould receive her decision, but much to her relief it seemed to be onlywhat they had expected, and they at once began to make arrangements forher return.
"We shall not lose sight of you altogether," said Lady Lorraine kindly."Both Violet and I shall expect to hear from you sometimes, and you mustpay us a visit every now and then. I should be sorry if, after havingmade an effort to be friends, we were to become estranged from oneanother again, and I want you always to feel that if you like to comeand see us you will be welcome here."
Though she did not repent her choice, Mildred certainly felt a pang atleaving all the many beauties of Castleford behind her. She had grown soused to the ever-changing aspect of the lake, the calm of the silentwoods, the glory of the rugged fells and the rushing streams, that sheshould miss them like old friends; they had inspired the poetical sideof her nature, and she owed a debt to them in increased powers ofimagination which she would some day realize. Coming at this period ofher life, the time spent at The Towers had been to her of untoldbenefit; it had enlarged her views, altered her estimation of manythings, and adjusted her childish standpoint to a truer judgment of thisworld's affairs. Both from the Lorraines and the Somervilles she hadlearnt much, and it was only after she had returned to Kirkton that shefelt how great a change the visit had made in her.
"We don't want to lose you, dear, but I think you're quite right," saidMrs. Somerville, as Mildred said good-bye at the Vicarage. "Rhoda willmiss you dreadfully, but we shall hope to meet again, and in themeantime we wish you every possible success in your study of music.You're going to work very hard, I know, and I expect when you next playto us we shall be even more delighted than now. We shall all be anxiousto hear news of you, and you must never forget your friends atCastleford."
As Mrs. Graham had said, a very big welcome awaited Mildred when she atlast returned to her old home. The thought that a parting had beenpossible gave an added zest to their reunion, and both her uncle andaunt held her in their arms as if they could scarcely let her go again.
"You are our own little girl now," said Uncle Colin, "and we intend tokeep you! We haven't very much to give you, darling, except a great dealof love, but you're sure of that, at any rate; and if you think you'llbe happier here with us, you know you'll not find anyone who'd be fonderof you than we are."
"There was never any choice about it at all," cried Mildred,distributing her kisses alternately. "I meant from the first to comeback. I'd rather live here a thousand times than at The Towers. Theywere very kind to me, but oh! it wasn't at all the same. I'm your girl,not theirs; I always have been and always will be, so please don't trysending me away again."
"You were right," said Dr. Graham that evening to his wife. "It was arisky experiment, but I'm glad we tried it. Mildred has had her taste ofsociety, and of everything that wealth and position can offer; she knowsperfectly well what she's giving up, and if she would rather live withus, and study her violin, she has made the choice of her own free will,and there's the less likelihood of her repenting afterwards. I think,however, that she really prefers our life to theirs, and will be happierwith some definite work than spending all her time in amusement. As youpredicted, the seed which we planted has sprung up. I hope we may liveto see great things from her in the future, and that she may neverregret the step she has taken."