Aidan wondered about that for the briefest of moments. Here he was, ages old, much older than Jeff, and yet Jeff was handling this like everything was normal and easy.
Aidan was about to ask a question when the front door opened and slammed shut. “Mom, Dad, I’m here.”
Jeff had time to flash Aidan a reassuring smile and wink before Kim walked through the doorway.
Kim was five years older than Jeff, but she looked even older than that. Where Jeff looked young and mellow, she looked like something rode hard and put away wet for far too many seasons. Her dark brown hair was liberally threaded with gray. Pulled back tightly into a severe bun, it only emphasized the deep lines etched around her eyes and mouth, which added several more years to her face. He didn’t even have to get a whiff of her to know she was a heavy smoker. Her coarse voice betrayed her. Her dark brown pantsuit looked like a rummage sale reject and made her appear even older.
“So there you are,” Kim barked. “About time you came home to visit.” She sat across the table from Jeff and Aidan without attempting to hug her brother or parents. She made no move to shake hands or introduce herself. She did, however, shoot an evil glare at Aidan.
Was it even worth it to try to mojo her into behaving herself? Aidan considered it for a moment and realized the effort would most likely be wasted. He’d have to focus on her all evening to keep her civil and accepting, maintain eye contact with her, drain his already stretched nerves beyond the limit.
“Aid, this is my older sister, Kim,” Jeff said. Now a shade of anxiety tinted Jeff’s voice.
Something deep and instinctive inside Aidan took hold of him. Protective. No one would make Jeff feel like that and get away with it. He wouldn’t let anyone treat his Jeff like that.
Aidan turned on the charm. “Pleased to meet you, Kim.” He extended his arm across the table as he reached up with his free hand and touched his amulet through his shirt. When he looked into her eyes he felt a negative wave of energy from her wash over him.
Damn, she was a fucking black hole. Totally human, obviously. Sometimes people were like that. Very few people, fortunately. Whether they were emotional vampires or simply assholes, they sucked the life out of a room, metaphorically speaking. She could do a Hoover vacuum proud.
Well, why not? He enjoyed a challenge once in a while.
Kim’s voice faltered. “Um. Nice to meet you.” She shook Aidan’s hand and looked a little confused.
Aidan felt Jeff’s gaze flicker to him. Perhaps he sensed something. Even so, Aidan couldn’t be distracted. Not yet. Not until he had a firmer hold on her. “Jeff said you’re a computer programmer?”
Kim eventually nodded. “Yeah. I’m a sysadmin for a server farm.”
Ten minutes later, they were eating. Jeff’s parents looked decidedly relieved their daughter hadn’t blown up yet. Jeff looked silently amused, obviously knowing Aidan was doing something to keep her occupied. Aidan kept busy talking with her, keeping her focused on any topic besides the one she’d so obviously come prepared to do battle over.
When they finished dinner, Aidan touched his amulet again and focused the strongest thought he could at Kim. She pushed back from the table. “I’m sorry, I can’t stay. I have to go in early tomorrow.” She looked confused. “I’ll talk to you later.” She turned and left without further discussion.
Jeff hid his amused snort behind a sudden coughing fit. “Bye, Kim,” he called after her.
“Whatever,” she shot back before slamming the front door behind her.
Tension immediately bled from the room at her departure. Aidan excused himself to the bathroom, where he locked himself in and held on to the sink for several long minutes with shaking hands. That had taken a lot out of him, even more than he’d anticipated. If it had been for almost anyone but Jeff, he never would have put himself through that. After a few minutes he felt steady enough to return to the table, and washed his face before leaving the bathroom. He forced a smile, but the obvious relief Jeff and his parents felt over Kim not exploding at their guest had been well worth it.
Elise shooed the boys out to the living room. “I’ll bring our coffee and dessert out there. Go on and get comfortable.”
Bill went upstairs for a moment. Aidan opted to take one of the chairs across from the couch. When he did, Jeff leaned over.
“What’d you do to her, Aid?” Jeff anxiously whispered. “Are you okay? You don’t look good. Do you want to leave?”
Aidan shook his head. He still felt too shaky to talk, like he’d just run a marathon.
An hour later, after coffee, cobbler, and conversation, an exhausted Aidan slumped in the passenger seat while Jeff drove them back to the hotel. Aidan closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against the cool glass of the window.
Jeff reached out and caught his hand, held it tenderly, lacing his fingers through Aidan’s. “Tell me what happened. Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Just really tired.” The feel of Jeff’s flesh against his… It made it okay. Aidan felt a little better.
Jeff squeezed, and Aidan realized now he felt a lot better.
He squeezed Jeff’s back. Almost as if recharging from the contact, Aidan felt energy flowing from Jeff to him. “Are you okay?” he asked Jeff.
“Whatever you did, thank you.”
Aidan opened his eyes. “No, I mean, do you feel okay right now? I mean right this minute?” He sat up, already feeling nearly normal again.
“Heck yeah, I feel great!”
“Not tired or drained or anything?”
Jeff shook his head. “No. I feel like taking you back to our room and having a lot of fun. Why? Don’t you feel well? What happened? You look exhausted.”
“A little,” he admitted, but already knew he was a thousand times better than he’d felt upon leaving the Conrad home. There was no doubt the contact with Jeff had recharged him. “I’ll be fine soon.”
Something else he’d have to ask Ryan about, if he ever worked up enough nerve.
Chapter Nineteen
Some nights, after Will fell asleep, Kal would lie in bed next to him with her eyes closed and finger the amulet around her neck, trying to re-create the dreams she’d had while on their honeymoon. She could remember them now, but had no new ones.
It frustrated her.
If only they hadn’t felt so freaking real.
She knew there was a lot of potential mental exploring she could do, yet part of her hesitated. If everyone had multiple lives, did she really want to go there, look and see who she’d been before?
If she tried to reconcile what the dreams meant, not look at them as memories, perhaps it was just psychological mumbo jumbo of her feeling like Aidan’s little sister and like Ryan’s…
Kal squeezed her eyes tightly shut and wished that thought away. She loved Will.
Still, unbidden, her fingers worked the amulet.
They couldn’t be memories. They couldn’t be glimpses from a past life. They’d started only after she had the amulet. It had probably just supercharged her imagination. With the stress of the wedding behind her, and now focusing on her father, it was probably her brain’s way of dealing, of giving her a more pleasant distraction instead of nightmares of what her near future might be like when her father died.
That was her story and she’d dang well stick to it. It was the safest thing to do.
It was the only explanation that didn’t cause an achy, pinching feeling to plague her soul.
* * * *
Will understood the honeymoon was a brief emotional respite for Kal. After their return, they still spent many nights at her parents’ home, usually three or four nights a week, “returning” home each weekend. At least now she would allow him to make love to her when under their roof, allowing her a brief emotional respite.
One afternoon, Will had gone to the Tampa office to help Aidan take care of a few things when Ryan appeared about an hour later.
From the grim look on Ryan’s face, Will knew he couldn’t bear good new
s.
“What’s wrong?” Will asked. “What happened?”
Ryan softly spoke. “I suggest you return to Columbus and stay there for the duration.”
Will paled. “How soon?”
Ryan shook his head.
Will immediately returned to their bedroom in the Martins’ home, where he was supposedly napping.
Reverend Martin’s hospital bed was set up in what had been his downstairs study. He’d been too weak to climb the stairs since after the wedding.
Kal sat reading in the corner. Her mom sat bedside, holding Kenneth’s hand.
When Will walked in, Kal looked up and smiled. “Good nap?”
He nodded.
Kal must have sensed Will’s purpose because her face immediately fell. She put down her book, walked over to her father’s bed, and took his other hand. Will stood behind her, his arms around her, trying to pour as much strength and comfort into her as he could.
Reverend Martin’s eyes were open, but he didn’t appear to be focused on anything inside that room.
Kal choked back a sob. “I love you, Daddy.”
He smiled and slowly swiveled his head toward her. “I love you, too, sweetie,” he said in a tiny, weak voice. “I love you very much. Don’t be sad. The pain is gone. It doesn’t hurt anymore.”
Kal sobbed.
Her mom squeezed his hand. “I love you, Kenneth.”
“I love you, too, Laura.” His eyes found Will and seemed to focus on his son-in-law. “You promise? To take care of them?”
Will nodded. He reached around Kal and gently squeezed Kenneth’s shoulder. “I promise, Dad.”
He nodded. “Thank you.” He closed his eyes.
He wasn’t gone yet, but Will sensed he’d slipped into a coma. Will called the Hospice nurse in from the kitchen and she checked his vital signs. Kal refused to leave his side or let go of his hand, so Will dragged a chair over for her and made her sit. While the women were gathered around Kenneth’s bed, Will stepped outside the front door and summoned Ryan.
Ryan looked grim. “Not quite yet.”
“I think I need your help.” Will had dealt with a lot of death in his years. Most of it quick and issued by his own hand. Never had he coped with a slow decline, especially with someone he knew well that so strongly affected those he loved.
Ryan nodded and followed Will inside.
Laura Martin didn’t question Ryan’s timely arrival. Kal glanced at him before returning her attention to her father. She had reached across the bed and was also holding her mother’s hand.
Ryan stood behind Laura while Will retook his position behind Kal. They each placed a hand over the women’s hands and waited.
* * * *
Kal knew they had to be doing something—for her and her mother, not for her father. She could feel her grief, while still strong and sharp, almost become more manageable. She rested her head against Will’s stomach, glad he was there to help her through this.
In the quiet room her father’s breathing became more shallow, took on a rattling tone she didn’t think really happened except in books. After another few minutes his chest rose, fell, and lay still.
Kal closed her eyes as tears flowed down her cheeks, but it was as if she stood outside herself and watched the scene before her.
Her mom kissed him and smoothed his hair down, gently squeezing his hand. “I’ll see you one day, Kenneth,” she whispered.
Kal thought that would finish her, but a sudden flow of calm through her kept her silent.
Will.
When Laura stood, Ryan kept his arm around her waist and gently helped her out of the room while the nurse double-checked for a pulse and noted the time. Kal felt frozen in place.
Will pressed his lips to the top of her head. “He’s out of pain, sweetheart,” he whispered. “He’s free.”
She nodded, crying, unable to move.
She tried not to think about Bobby Martinez.
Will sent a silent message to Ryan. “Summon Aidan, please. I don’t have the energy to do it right now. I need to stay focused on her.”
A moment later, Aidan and Jeff entered through the front door. Aidan immediately walked into the study and wrapped his arms around Kal and Will. He kissed her cheek. “I’m so sorry, sugar.”
She silently nodded.
In the living room, Jeff sat on the sofa on Laura’s other side and hugged her, softly talking with her while Ryan kept his arm around her shoulders. Will eventually coaxed Kal out of the study and into the living room. She still didn’t speak although her tears had dried.
It worried him. He could normally read her emotions and feelings, but it felt like a firm cocoon had tightly wound around her soul, not even a mental barrier but something deeper. It wasn’t like he could easily ask Ryan about it under the circumstances.
Two hours later, the undertakers had retrieved Kenneth’s body, and the house quickly filled with friends and former parishioners as news spread through the church grapevine network. At one point, Will left Jeff and Aidan with Kal while he walked outside to talk to Ryan.
“What do I do now?” Will asked him. “What do I do for her? What will she need from me?”
“Love her. Console her. Let her come to you as she needs you, let her use your strength.”
“She’s closing herself off.”
Ryan nodded. “Sometimes that’s a normal reaction with them.”
Will scrubbed his face with his hands. “I’m deferring to you, here. You’re the expert. I’m clueless.” That was probably the hardest admission he ever had to make.
Ryan didn’t bust his balls about it either. “Trust yourself. You’ll do fine. I have every confidence in you that you can care for her.”
* * * *
By that evening, Kal had taken over handling phone calls despite Will’s pleas to let him do it for her. She wore a flat, calm expression he wasn’t familiar with, had never seen her use before. Her soft, nearly toneless voice added to his anxiety. He hoped it was simply stress and grief that would work itself out.
Ryan caught his eye at one point and tipped his head, indicating he wanted to speak with him outside again. They walked a few feet away from the front porch.
“Well?” Will asked.
Ryan shrugged. “Give her time, keep her close. We’ll see how she is in a few days.”
“Can you stay a while longer?”
“I’ll have to leave at some point, but I’ll return first thing in the morning.”
“Thanks.”
Ryan patted him on the shoulder and returned to the house. Will took a deep breath and looked around. Abby’s family had all died countless ages ago. Her people were used to death as a way of life. She had immediately picked up and gone on even as she grieved. Not…this.
It scared him. Both Kal’s reaction and his. He worried he wouldn’t be able to do what she needed. Shouldn’t this be instinctive for him as her soul mate? He’d been too wrapped in his own grief when Abby died to even begin to coach someone else through it. Chloe’s death so many eons ago had been more a fight for Ryan’s survival. Besides, he’d never known Chloe.
With a deep sigh, Will returned to the house.
* * * *
Four days later, Will sat in a front-row pew of the same church they’d been married in. Kal was sandwiched between himself and Laura, with Jeff on Laura’s far side. In the row behind them, Aidan and Ryan sat with their hands gently resting on the women’s shoulders, as if comforting them.
They’d chosen to have visitation the night before at the funeral home. For two hours Will sat, trying to stay in physical contact with Kal. Aidan, Jeff, and Ryan hovered close around Laura, but she was actually coping with it quite well and needed no more than simple human kindness and concern.
Unlike Kal, whose grief was so deep she sucked every last spare ounce of energy Will could give her and then some. He was grateful for Ryan and Aidan’s presence. Even Jeff seemed to have a calming effect on her.
Laura
had picked a nice photo of her husband, taken a few years earlier. From his warm, friendly smile, you’d never suspect he’d held fire-and-brimstone views that would normally alienate a goodly chunk of people.
His casket—closed, of course—was draped with flowers. More overflowed around it.
Jeff’s father conducted the service. Will tried to focus on Kal and not be distracted by the mourners around them. He damn sure wasn’t paying attention to the service. It was, to him, a waste of time. All he wanted was to have it over with so he could shuttle Kal and Laura through the graveside service, and then home again for the wake. To get Kal’s healing on track.
He knew he couldn’t rush them.
Kal had not cried since the day her father died. Ryan and Aidan both reassured Will it was just one of many possible normal reactions. Will wasn’t so sure. She still felt emotionally and mentally closed off to him at a fundamental level. Combined with his massive outflow of energy to keep her stable, it worried him.
Was he hindering her grieving by supporting her like that?
Will kept his fingers laced through Kal’s during the entire service. Ryan, Jeff, and Aidan rode with them in the limousine to the cemetery and stood behind the two women for the short internment ceremony. Back at the house, several of Laura’s friends were ready with food and beverages for the mourners. Will settled Kal on the couch and noticed as the afternoon wore on that not only was she not pulling energy from him anymore, but the shell around her soul had thickened and hardened.
She spoke quietly in short, succinct sentences. After most of the mourners had left, she slipped away upstairs to their bedroom. Will followed her.
Kal removed her black dress and hung it up before changing into jeans and a T-shirt. “Just stay downstairs with Mom, please?” she softly asked.
He hugged her, tried to probe her soul, but didn’t want to force the issue. He kissed her forehead. “Lie down, try to rest.”
She nodded.
When he came up two hours later to check on her, she was sound asleep and hadn’t stirred. By eleven o’clock that night, Laura Martin had gone to bed while Will, Ryan, Aidan, and Jeff quietly talked in the kitchen.