Vietnam and Other Alien Worlds

  Joe Haldeman

  For science fiction fandom.

  Contents

  Introduction

  The Confederación Stories

  Passages

  A !Tangled Web

  Seasons

  The Mazel Tov Revolution

  Essays

  Vietnam and Other Alien Worlds

  Not Being There

  Confessions of a Space Junkie

  War Stories

  Photographs and Memories

  Story Poems

  Saul’s Death

  Homecoming

  Time Lapse

  DX

  Editor’s Acknowledgments

  A Biography of Joe Haldeman

  Introduction

  The Confederación Stories

  The Confederación is a universe I use whenever I need a starfaring, interstellar-commerce background for a story. (I know that you can argue against the possibility of both “starfaring” and “interstellar commerce,” but hey, these are stories!) I made up the background originally for two novellas that aren’t included here, “To Fit the Crime” and “The Only War We’ve Got.” They make up about half of the novel All My Sins Remembered.

  I wrote the story “To Fit the Crime” back in 1971, in response to a request by Hans Stefan Santesson for stories about crimes that could only be committed in the future. I guess it was either rejected or the anthology never got off the ground. For whatever reason, the story appeared in Galaxy magazine, and reader response prompted the editor to make me a generous offer for another novella in the same universe. I did the practical thing and let it grow into an episodic novel.

  The novel Starschool, a collaboration with my brother Jack C. Haldeman II, also takes place in the Confederación universe, and there are four other stories with that setting, which are collected here:

  “Passages” started out with a typo. I typed the nonword “fireworms” instead of fireworks, and that suggested possibilities, so I copied it onto a little piece of paper and stuck it on my bulletin board. About ten years later I actually started a story about fireworms, but it seized up after a few pages. For some years I tried different angles with it, but nothing worked until I realized I had to throw out the damned fireworms. Then everything clicked.

  Nobody has ever noted that this story shares a character with All My Sins Remembered. It takes place a couple of years before the last chapter of that book.

  “A !Tangled Web” started out as a goof. Jerry Pournelle and I were talking about Star Wars, and he said, aw hell, every science fiction writer has written that aliens-in-a-spaceport-bar scene a dozen times. I hadn’t, though, so I thought I’d better. It was a lot of fun to write, and I don’t think any of my stories has elicited more favorable responses from readers and other writers. I should drink beer with Jerry more often.

  “Seasons” is a lot more serious, not to say somber. I think it’s one of my most successful stories, but it started out as a kind of intellectual challenge. I’d contracted to do a novella for the book Alien Stars, whose theme was “conflict with aliens.” I didn’t want to do a simple space-war story, so I came up with an idea that involved an epistemological conflict—some humans certain that they understand how these simple aliens see the world, and they’re dead wrong.

  In the process of planning the story I read a bit about what other writers and critics had said about the novella. Irving Howe, in an excellent essay that prefaces Classics of Modern Fiction: Ten Short Novels (Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1980), said,

  Whereas the short-story writer tries to strike off a flash of insight and the novelist hopes to create the illusion of a self-sufficient world, the author of the short novel is frequently concerned with showing an arc of human conduct that has a certain symbolic significance. The short novel is a form that encourages the writer to struggle with profound philosophic or moral problems through a compact yet extended narrative.

  Another writer pointed out that novellas often mirror the structure of classical drama, which got me to thinking: Classical tragedy is built around the main character having a tragic flaw, a hamartia, that ultimately causes him to make a mistake that provokes the gods to harm him. How could you express that structure in terms that were secular and futuristic? I wound up with a situation where the main character is a scientist, and her equivalent to hamartia is an unquestioning faith in her professional intellectual tools, in the scientific method. And it isn’t the gods that turn on her; it’s her own subject matter.

  Finally, “The Mazel Tov Revolution” is a piece of silliness that I wrote as an extended joke on fellow writer Jack Dann. The background to it is in the story’s introduction in my collection Infinite Dreams—suffice it to say that I had to write a funny story that involved a Jewish character and the effect of faster-than-light travel on political power.

  Essays

  Three of these essays were articles written for publication that for one reason or another were not published. I do think they’re good, or they wouldn’t be in this book.

  “Not Being There” was a post-Challenger-disaster piece commissioned by Rolling Stone. I’m not sure why they didn’t print it; possibly it was because they didn’t like it. I collected my kill fee, though, and never marketed it elsewhere; too long and, for mundane publications, no longer timely by the time they rejected it.

  I also thought “War Stories” was too long and too timely to remarket. It was a “gang review” of a bunch of related Vietnam books that I did on assignment for a literary magazine. They sat on it for a year, and finally rejected it with no comment. I suspect it was not liberal enough, in some narrow literary/political sense, but they didn’t ask for any particular viewpoint, so I fell back on honesty. At least they did reimburse me for the books.

  “Photographs and Memories” I wrote to sort out my feelings about the Robert Mapplethorpe exhibit “The Perfect Moment.” I sent it off to Playboy and the editor said that if he had seen it a few months earlier, he would have bought it, but the Mapplethorpe exhibit was closing (Boston, where I saw it, was its last city) and by the time it got into print, the story would be cold. Fair enough; I didn’t try to sell it elsewhere.

  But there’s a weird circle of events that leads back to Playboy. I teach a science fiction writing workshop every fall at M.I.T., and the assignment I give the students the first day is a “where do you get your crazy ideas” exercise. I assign each of them a random topic from a list of science fiction “motifs,” like time-travel paradoxes, first contact, and so forth, and for the next class meeting they have to bring in a two-page beginning based on that idea.

  If you’ve never written stories yourself, this may sound an awful lot like teaching a kid how to swim by throwing him in the deep end. Actually, it’s not. In a curious way, it makes the writing easier. To demonstrate how easy it is, I have someone pick what he or she thinks is the hardest topic on the list, and while the students spend an hour filling out forms and stuff, I sit in front of them and write out two pages—the Harlan Ellison of my generation!

  That particular year, the student chose “Science and Art in the Future.” The two pages seemed to have promise, so I followed up on them with the brainstorming diagram on pp xii-xiii, and went off to the Mapplethorpe exhibit for inspiration. “Photographs and Memories” resulted as a byproduct.

  The two pages and diagram sat around for a year. I was headed off for a summer of travel and was just finishing up the novel Worlds Enough and Time; when it was done I thought I would spend the rest of the summer doing short work. The two pages wound up growing into a novella, “Feedback,” which ultimately sold to Playboy, and should be out a few months before this book.
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  “Vietnam and Other Alien Worlds” and “Confessions of a Space Junkie” belong to the venerable genre of science fiction convention Guest-of-Honor speeches recycled into articles. They both have interesting autobiographical material—interesting to me, anyhow—and this seemed like a good place to put them together. They relate to the others, as well.

  Story Poems

  If you skip this section the book will burst into flame and burn your house down. Maybe.

  Okay, nobody reads poetry anymore unless they are themselves poets. Fortunately, perhaps, there are more poets living today than existed in all the centuries preceding the invention of the typewriter.

  Of course a lot of these poets

  are just people

  who hit the RETURN key whenever they feel like it.

  But that phenomenon is beyond the scope of this introduction. Suffice it to say that there is a persecuted minority of poets who think that poetry could be more popular with actual readers if it only were more interesting. It might even venture toward accessibility. It might even tell a story now and then; in fact, there are some stories that beg to be told as poems.

  I did “Homecoming” and “Time Lapse” in response to requests from editors of “theme” anthologies—Anne Jordan wanted science fiction stories about home towns for Fires of the Past (St. Martin’s, 1991) and Ellen Datlow wanted modern to postmodern vampire stories for Blood Is Not Enough (Morrow, 1989).

  “Saul’s Death” is unlike the other three story poems in that it follows a classical form: two linked sestinas. Readers familiar with formal poetry or modern poetry will probably see the hommage here to Ezra Pound’s riveting brutal poem “Sestina: Altaforte.” I once gave a reading of this poem without mentioning the connection and James Dickey came up afterwards and clapped me on the shoulder and said “Way to go, Ezra.” To this day I’m not sure whether that was a compliment or a dig.

  “DX” was just something I had to write. I blasted out the first draft of it in one four-hour sitting, feeling weirdly possessed. I've mentioned elsewhere that I think it may be genuinely unique in that it’s both pure autobiography and actual science fiction.

  The Confederación Stories

  Passages

  Life begins in a bloody mess and sometimes it ends the same way, and only odd people seek out blood between those times, maybe crazy people. I feel that way now. But the first half of my life ran with blood, most times animal blood, sometimes human. I was a certain kind of hunter’s guide.

  In those days I didn’t have an office on any planet. Not in the sense of a physical place to meet clients. The character of the place where a client asked to meet, his home or otherwise, helped me decide whether to take him on. And the way he dressed, spoke, held himself. It’s a special sense, a gestalt. If you took on every darf who had the money you’d wind up dead, and him too.

  It almost always is a “he.” There are more woman than men with money, but to want to hunt, you need that instinct to point at something and squirt it.

  Raj Benhaden III had picked a good meeting place, a milk bar where the young serving women wore face veils but nothing substantial from collarbone to ankle, and where wine was available for infidels like me. But he didn’t otherwise make a good first impression. He surged through the beaded door curtain, a large muscular man with a looking-for-trouble expression, scanned the room imperiously, nodded at a signal from one of the women, and then stomped over to my table with the chunky gracelessness of the overtrained athlete. His first two words:

  “You’re white.”

  “So was my mother.”

  He nodded at that revelation and sank into a chair. “You don’t look like a hunting guide.”

  “You don’t look like a prince.”

  “Really. What do I look like?”

  Time enough for tact later, if I decided to take the job. “You look like a midclass man who was on the team in school. Say, fifteen, twenty years ago. Now you spend a lot of time in the gymnasium. Trying to turn the clock back.”

  He nodded again, staring. “Slow it down, anyhow.”

  A beautiful houri floated over with a glass of mint tea. He took it without appearing to notice her. “A cousin of mine from Earth engaged you last year. He recommended you, so I looked up your listing in Registrar Selva. You’ve worked a lot of places.”

  The only Earthie I’d guided in a year had almost been the end of me. Crazy man. “M’suya was your cousin?”

  “M’suya.” He smiled slightly. “Don’t worry. The rest of the family is almost normal.”

  “I’ve never been hired by a normal person. Normal people don’t seek out the company of dangerous animals.”

  “A point. Selva says your specialty is trailbreaking, taking hunters and collectors to new places.”

  “Which is why your cousin hired me.” We’d gone to a planet called PZ1439, too new even to have a name. “But I prefer to know at least something about the place, the kind of creatures we’ll be up against.”

  “This place is not completely unexplored. The creature has been observed a few times.” He paused. “The planet Obelobel. I want the skin of a balaseli.”

  “I don’t know the animal. Think the planet’s closed, though.”

  “The animal is worth the trip. And I can take care of the quarantine. What do you say?”

  It sounded okay. “I’ll have to do a little research—”

  “No. Decide now.”

  His eyes were actually glittering with excitement. “Sure. Leave soon as you put the fix through.”

  He stood up. “Tomorrow.” I watched his large back sail away.

  Rich people always leave you with the check. His mint tea was still steaming, untouched. I tasted it; too sweet. Sipped the wine slowly, appreciating the women, thinking it would be a while before I saw another. If only that had been correct. The next woman I met would turn out to be less pleasant to deal with.

  As expected, two drinks’ tariff would have bought a good meal on Selva; a banquet on Earth. Raj would pay it back a hundredfold.

  I liked working from Qadar, though your daily expenses are the size of some countries’ budget deficit. They pay you twice as much as elsewhere, with no argument. And they have a good library. I went back to the Hilton to punch it up; find out what was known about Obelobelians and the balaseli.

  Obelobelians are weird, which is no distinction among alien races, and the balaseli is about a hundred kilograms of bloody murder that leaps out of the night. I began to have qualms.

  It’s a twelve-legged, eyeless (sonar-ranging) creature about twice the size of a human, which is to say about three times the size of an Obelobelian. The six legs on either side are joined with leathery membrane, like the wings of a Terran bat. On the inner surface of the wings are tens of thousands of stiff curved cilia: tiny hooks. It kills by enveloping the prey and ripping its skin off in one swift jerk.

  It doesn’t have a true mouth. While the prey is still twitching, a slit opens up along half the length of its thorax, ventrally, from the base of the tail to the middle of the chest, and its stomach everts, rippling up over the hooks (which all point outward) to enclose and seal off the dying, flayed animal. Strong acids and enzymes digest the meal in about fifteen minutes, during which time the balaseli is theoretically helpless. It leaves behind a compact husk of undigested hair, bones, and nails, and perhaps corroded jewelry.

  You could think of worse ways to die, but it would be a short and disgusting list.

  The Obelobelians have a rite of passage, which had been seen only once by humans at the time, that involves going into a cave and offering yourself as food. The balaseli evidently knows what eyes are; it only attacks from behind. You evidently have to sense its approach, turn quickly, and impale it. A test of the hunter’s, or soldier’s, sixth sense—which I hoped was highly developed in the ruling class of Qadar.

  The caves where the beasts live typically form clusters of interconnected hemispheres, each the size of a large sports stadiu
m. During the day, the balaselis cling to stalactites at the tops of the domes. They usually have to go outside to hunt, at night, since few large creatures are stupid enough to wander into their lairs. Their normal prey are young and old strays from the herds of saurian egg-producers that accompany the Obelobelians on their seemingly random migrations around the planet’s one continent.

  The Obelobelians use the rite as part of a ruthless simple form of population control, sensible on such a barren planet. No one goes through the rite of passage until someone has died. The next night, a young native goes into the cave; he or she comes out sexually mature, and immediately mates with a predetermined partner. A female mates only once in her life, but always has multiple births. The number of offspring she will have, they say, depends on how many die in the rite of passage before one makes it through.

  The balaseli kill about half of the youngsters who go into the caves, but don’t bother the natives otherwise, though they sleep unprotected, not having invented the roof. The balaseli haven’t bothered the humans yet, either, a few dozen xenologists who perforce also sleep under the stars, though perhaps not as deeply as the Obelobelians.

  The three-week trip was uneventful. Raj Benhaden III was unusually reticent for a Qadarem. Their planet doesn’t have much commerce beyond the exchange of knowledge, and that exchange is normally quite vigorous. I spent a couple of months on Qadar once, helping set up a xoo there, and you couldn’t say one plus one equals two without getting some discussion. A world full of theologians and philosophers.

  But Raj was a throwback; he admitted as much in a rare spate of conversation. Most Qadarem are vegetarians, and hunting (as opposed to live collecting) is almost unheard of on the planet. He offered no explanation for his aberration. No, his father didn’t hunt. No, he had no philosophical justification for it. No, given a choice in the matter, he didn’t eat meat. Yes, he had killed men, in war.