THE SECRET PLEASURES OF REGINALD
I found Reggie in the club one Saturday afternoon. He was reclining ina long chair, motionless, his eyes fixed glassily on the ceiling. Hefrowned a little when I spoke. "You don't seem to be doing anything,"I said.
"It's not what I'm doing, it's what I am _not_ doing thatmatters."
It sounded like an epigram, but epigrams are so little associated withReggie that I ventured to ask what he meant.
He sighed. "Ah well," he said. "I suppose the sooner I tell you, thesooner you'll go. Do you know Bodfish?"
I shuddered. "Wilkinson Bodfish? I do."
"Have you ever spent a weekend at Bodfish's place in the country?"
I shuddered again. "I have."
"Well, I'm _not_ spending the weekend at Bodfish's place in thecountry."
"I see you're not. But----"
"You don't understand. I do not mean that I am simply absent fromBodfish's place in the country. I mean that I am _deliberately_not spending the weekend there. When you interrupted me just now, Iwas not strolling down to Bodfish's garage, listening to his prattleabout his new car."
I glanced around uneasily.
"Reggie, old man, you're--you're not--This hot weather----"
"I am perfectly well, and in possession of all my faculties. Now tellme. Can you imagine anything more awful than to spend a weekend withBodfish?"
On the spur of the moment I could not.
"Can you imagine anything more delightful, then, than _not_spending a weekend with Bodfish? Well, that's what I'm doing now.Soon, when you have gone--if you have any other engagements, pleasedon't let me keep you--I shall not go into the house and not listen toMrs. Bodfish on the subject of young Willie Bodfish's prematureintelligence."
I got his true meaning. "I see. You mean that you will be thankingyour stars that you aren't with Bodfish."
"That is it, put crudely. But I go further. I don't indulge in a meremomentary self-congratulation, I do the thing thoroughly. If I wereweekending at Bodfish's, I should have arrived there just half an hourago. I therefore selected that moment for beginning not to weekendwith Bodfish. I settled myself in this chair and I did not have myback slapped at the station. A few minutes later I was not whirlingalong the country roads, trying to balance the car with my legs and anelbow. Time passed, and I was not shaking hands with Mrs. Bodfish. Ihave just had the most corking half-hour, and shortly--when you haveremembered an appointment--I shall go on having it. What I am reallylooking forward to is the happy time after dinner. I shall pass it innot playing bridge with Bodfish, Mrs. Bodfish, and a neighbor. Sundaymorning is the best part of the whole weekend, though. That is when Ishall most enjoy myself. Do you know a man named Pringle? NextSaturday I am not going to stay with Pringle. I forget who is not tobe my host the Saturday after that. I have so many engagements of thiskind that I lose track of them."
"But, Reggie, this is genius. You have hit on the greatest idea of theage. You might extend this system of yours."
"I do. Some of the jolliest evenings I have spent have been not at thetheatre."
"I have often wondered what it was that made you look so fit andhappy."
"Yes. These little non-visits of mine pick me up and put life into mefor the coming week. I get up on Monday morning feeling like a lion.The reason I selected Bodfish this week, though I was practicallyengaged to a man named Stevenson who lives out in Connecticut, wasthat I felt rundown and needed a real rest. I shall be all right onMonday."
"And so shall I," I said, sinking into the chair beside him.
"You're not going to the country?" he asked regretfully.
"I am not. I, too, need a tonic. I shall join you at Bodfish's. Ireally feel a lot better already."
I closed my eyes, and relaxed, and a great peace settled upon me.