A PLEA FOR INDOOR GOLF
Indoor golf is that which is played in the home. Whether you live in apalace or a hovel, an indoor golf-course, be it only of nine holes, iswell within your reach. A house offers greater facilities than anapartment, and I have found my game greatly improved since I went tolive in the country. I can, perhaps, scarcely do better than give abrief description of the sporting nine-hole course which I haverecently laid out in my present residence.
All authorities agree that the first hole on every links should bemoderately easy, in order to give the nervous player a temporary andfictitious confidence.
At Wodehouse Manor, therefore, we drive off from the front door--inorder to get the benefit of the door-mat--down an entry fairway,carpeted with rugs and without traps. The hole--a loving-cup--is justunder the stairs; and a good player ought to have no difficulty indoing it in two.
The second hole, a short and simple one, takes you into the telephonebooth. Trouble begins with the third, a long dog-leg hole through thekitchen into the dining-room. This hole is well trapped withtable-legs, kitchen utensils, and a moving hazard in the person ofClarence the cat, who is generally wandering about the fairway. Thehole is under the glass-and-china cupboard, where you are liable to bebunkered if you loft your approach-shot excessively.
The fourth and fifth holes call for no comment. They are withouttraps, the only danger being that you may lose a stroke throughhitting the maid if she happens to be coming down the back stairswhile you are taking a mashie-shot. This is a penalty under the localrule.
The sixth is the indispensable water-hole. It is short, but tricky.Teeing off from just outside the bathroom door, you have to loft theball over the side of the bath, holing out in the little vent pipe, atthe end where the water runs out.
The seventh is the longest hole on the course. Starting at theentrance of the best bedroom, a full drive takes you to the head ofthe stairs, whence you will need at least two more strokes to put youdead on the pin in the drawing-room. In the drawing-room the fairwayis trapped with photograph frames--with glass, complete--these servingas casual water: and anyone who can hole out on the piano in five orunder is a player of class. Bogey is six, and I have known even such acapable exponent of the game as my Uncle Reginald, who is plus two onhis home links on Park Avenue, to take twenty-seven at the hole. Buton that occasion he had the misfortune to be bunkered in a photographof my Aunt Clara and took no fewer than eleven strokes with hisniblick to extricate himself from it.
The eighth and ninth holes are straightforward, and can be done in twoand three respectively, provided you swing easily and avoid thecanary's cage. Once trapped there, it is better to give up the holewithout further effort. It is almost impossible to get out in lessthan fifty-six, and after you have taken about thirty the bird getsvisibly annoyed.