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“Oh, Ari, I’m so happy to hear that. You have always been too serious. You studied all through high school when you should’ve taken a bit of time for a social life, then you did the same during college. I’m proud of you, as I always have been and always will be, but I want you to stop and smell the roses once in a while. I want you to have fun. Getting good grades is important, but I think you can do that with one eye closed and half your brain shut down. Having fun once in a while is just as important to good mental health. ”
Ari fondly smiled at her mother’s familiar speech. She’d heard it often in her late teens when she’d chosen to stay home each weekend studying instead of going out. It wasn’t that she hadn’t wanted to make friends. It was just that she hadn’t connected with anyone who became more important than her school work.
If she’d found something to do that was more interesting than getting lost in a favorite book, then she’d gladly have put away her reading glasses for the night and gone out on the town. Even the party that had been so detrimental to her mother, hadn’t been worth it. The entire experience had been a drag.
Rafe.
Yes, Rafe made her want to put away her books. He made her want to star in her favorite romance movie with him as the male lead. He made her want to rip off her clothes and cry out for him to take her. He frightened her, because he made her want to change everything about herself.
He was dangerous.
She needed to remember that and just stay away from the man.
“Did I lose you, darling?”
“I’m sorry, Mom. I haven’t gotten enough sleep this week, so I’m a little on the spacey side. Tell me honestly how you’re feeling today. ”
“I’m feeling wonderful. I was going to call you this evening. Dr. Shepp’s last scans showed that most of the cancer was removed. He thinks he’ll be able to get the rest through chemo. I just can’t begin that treatment until this infection goes away. I may have to go in for another surgery, but you can wipe off that frown because it won’t be as bad as the last one. ”
“I thought the money we got only covered the first surgery. Did we get more money?”
“I don’t know. He said not to worry about any of the red tape, that it was all taken care of. I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. I know I filled out a heck of a lot of papers. There are several organizations that step in to help in cases like mine. My best guess is that one of them said yes. ”
“That’s wonderful, Mom. I’ll call my boss and take Monday off work. I’m staying here with you all weekend to make sure everything goes right. ”
“You most certainly will not, child. You will go insane sitting in this room all day and night. I’m going a bit insane myself. ”
“You’re too weak to stop me, so it looks like it’s just you and me and a full box of Yahtzee. I’m going to run home and grab a few things, and I’ll be back in an hour. It will be just like old-times, when we had all-nighters. I would get so mad at you for making me leave my books in my bedroom, but now, those are my favorite memories. ”
“How can I fight you when you’re making me all sentimental? Fine. You can stay with this old lady if you like, but be warned, I’m not against a little cheating to win each game. ”
“Even cheating, I’ll kick your bootie. I love you, Mom. I’m so glad you’re feeling better. I also think you’re right – I have a feeling that everything is going to work out. ”
Ari leaned down and hugged her mother. Terror was seizing her heart that this could be the last weekend she ever spent with the most important person in the world to her, but with a hard swallow, she pushed the fright down.
She hated that she’d been sick so long. What if something did go wrong and these days were the last she had with her? She’d never forgive herself, even if she couldn’t help getting sick. It would still haunt her forever.
She wouldn’t allow fear to ruin her time with the woman who’d given her life – who’d always been there for her – who was her best friend. She couldn’t change the past, all she could do was make sure their present was as perfect as possible.
She quickly ran to her apartment and gathered a couple changes of clothes, then stopped in at a local store and picked up a few games. Of course, she snuck in a couple books, just in case her mother got too tired and fell asleep for a while. She wasn’t leaving her side all weekend.
If it truly was their last few nights together, she needed to pile on the memories. Losing her mom would be worse than anything she could imagine. The world would simply stop spinning. There just wouldn’t be a reason to go on for her. She’d smile and lie to her mom, telling her it would all be okay, but Ari knew if her mom died, it wouldn’t be okay. Nothing would ever be okay again.