Orders
September 2055
A touch traced the hollow of her temple. Arinna flexed her fingers as she woke, surprised to feel the smooth nap of the couch. The reminder of the night shot her into consciousness. She opened her eyes to see Michael’s tired face cast in the blue light of predawn.
“It was a depot,” she said, sitting up. Michael shifted from kneeling to sitting next to her. That small act sent her heart into flips. “Are you just getting home?”
A dark emotion flickered in his eyes but didn’t stick. “Yes. There was a lot of relaying info and responding to questions for help. They wanted eyes on all potential routes from the area.”
“Did they say who did it?”
“Nothing more than rebels or terrorists. No names. I can’t guess what they imagine they’ll gain blowing a full weapons depot?”
“It wasn’t full. It was empty,” Arinna said.
They stared at each other.
“You are certain? Byran is sure?”
“Yes. I saw the data. The blast signature is too small. It was empty except for the bomb that took it down.”
“Shit. He didn’t tell me that.”
“Who? Byran?” Arinna asked, confused. “You talked to Byran?”
Michael gave in to a bashful smile. “After you left, he called me to give me an earful. Said you had been crying and that ... well, it ended with I didn’t deserve you if that was all the faith I had in you.”
“You believed him?” Arinna asked, hardly daring to dream anyone could make this work out, much less Byran.
“I don’t think he was going to let me off the phone till I did. I hope you see why I thought that?”
“I do. I’m so sorry. No more weekends, no more Byran at all if you want.” She was crying again. This time Michael smudged the tears away.
“We need his information. More than ever. But this weekend you are mine. And no more nights away.”
Arinna answered by making up for her earlier realization. She kissed him and made certain they’d both remember it.
—
“Are you going to Ambassador Eldridge’s farewell party?” Byran asked, his breath visible on a rare chilly day of January.
“Yes. With Michael. My husband, remember?” she teased.
“Right, him. I still don’t think he likes me that much.”
“I can’t imagine why.”
“Well, there is so much ...”
Arinna laughed. The compromise she’d found in her life was to not need Byran’s information. She’d developed resources of her own, though most were a result of Byran’s introductions such as Marco. And it took time. Months passed during which the news from the USA grew darker, at least what she learned. What they were told remained unchanged. Now the time she spent with Byran was less intense and more social. And it was enjoyable, becoming a refuge from uncertainty and bad news. That was something she never would have expected.
“Well, you must promise me at least a dance.”
“Perhaps, if you behave yourself,” she replied.
“Ah, well that is a lost cause then.” She shook her head, amused. “Come with me on a drive. We’ll go to this little café ...”
“I have work to do, Byran. I actually need to get paid. I can’t run off and drive around with you.” Arinna waved her hand at him, which he caught and annoyingly kissed.
“Of course, that is why you are still here. You are busy. Your hands are freezing!” He said, breathing on where he’d tucked both of her hands between his. The warmth of his breath moving over her skin captured within the heat of his hands unleashed a shudder through her. Heat rose to her cheeks without her meaning it to. “Come on, no one will question if you are with me. They have wonderful soup.”
“I ...”
“Do you have any appointments the rest of the day?”
“No. But I also swore I’d never go to lunch with you,” Arinna replied, pulling her hands back in an effort to regain control.
“Or dinner, if I remember correctly. Do you realize how many times you’ve broken that?” He grinned. “Not that I mind. You can break any promise to me that you like. Especially that one. I’ll even have you home in time for a nice quiet dinner with Michael,” he added.
She really couldn’t come up with an argument against that.
Byran dropped her off half an hour later than promised. A light sweat swept her forehead as she hurried through her front door, attempting to decide if an explanation or an apology was needed first. Michael paced the living room, guilt over time with Byran dropping into her stomach before she saw the phone held to his ear. Guilty relief sent her to the kitchen to make coffee. Wondering how she could allow Byran to again flood her with anxiety, Arinna didn’t hear Michael walk up behind her. He pulled her against his chest as he swiped her cheek with a kiss. Gratefully, she let the turmoil Byran caused go.
“Something happened?”
“Yes. You didn’t hear anything?” he asked.
“No. Not today. You beat me this time.” Michael laughed a breath against her neck. “So what happened?”
“Good news for once. They caught a terrorist cell with most of the weapons from the depot raided a month ago.”
“Oh, the one they claimed was a small depot with only a minor break in? And not one of the three largest and the whole thing was emptied?” Arinna sighed with exasperation. “Still, that is good ne—”
“What is it?” Michael asked, turning her to face him when she froze.
“I didn’t learn of anything. You did. What if there wasn’t anything to hear?”
He rested his forehead against hers, the happiness draining from him. “They made it up. It didn’t happen.”
“It might have,” she suggested. He gave her a disbelieving stare. “What is going on back home?” she murmured.
“There are some days I wonder.”
“Hah. Some days, really? I know you.”
“No,” Michael said. Her heart constricted as he paused. “Maybe when we first got here. But now ... I’ve got a different perspective. They’ve lied and keep lying. At first, I was angry. Now, I wonder how far back the lies go.”
Arinna took a long look at her husband, finally seeing his hair that had outgrown any resemblance to a buzz cut months ago. He was wearing a T-shirt, one that wasn’t white, black, or brown. On the street, she might not take him for a former soldier at all.
“Why didn’t you say something before?” she asked.
“I didn’t want to think it, much less say it.”
“What are we going to do?”
“Try to stay here as long as we can and when we go home, be as smart as we can.”
The unease growing in her felt like it had taken permanent root. To fight it, she found herself spending more time with Byran. He became her refuge. She didn’t want him to be. But he was so good at making her fears disappear. Instead of luring her with information, he became her balm from too much. They’d grown accustomed to lunches together by the time Ambassador Eldridge’s farewell gala finally unfurled.
When she entered the ballroom of the UK’s embassy, Arinna swept her eyes over the assemblage of ladies in sleek gowns and tuxedoed men, seeking a head of dark curls and a suit that would be a cut above most present.
“Looking for Byran?” Michael asked.
Arinna blushed. “Yes, I ... promised him a dance. We’ve been having lunches,” Arinna said in a rush.
“Yes. I know,” Michael scanned the crowd before focusing again on her. “When your wife spends time with a person everyone firmly believes she had an affair with, the word gets back to you. Quickly.”
“I should have said something.”
“Yes. You should have. But ... I know the truth. I do trust you. We’re both aware we won’t be here much longer. Have fun ... not too much fun! And save me a few dances,” Michael instructed.
“And what will you be up to?” she asked.
“The RAF boys like to brag. Once you get them going, it
is amazing what they’ll say.” He winked at her before heading away.
Planes were Michael’s way to unwind. Especially fast planes. The transfer to the embassy had taken aircraft from his duty but not his life, not when he snuck in every chance to make friends with other airmen.
“Abandoned?” Byran whispered in her ear.
“No. Left to a sad fate of a night spent in your company,” she answered, taking his arm.
“Tsk. He should be more careful to whom he leaves you unattended. I would certainly never leave you to a night spent in the arms of another man.” Byran swept her onto the dance floor, his dark eyes serious in their teasing.
“Oh, especially someone like you?”
He gave her his wolf’s grin. “Most definitely.”
It was a night of polite charades. Arinna moved through the ball and toasts with Byran, fellow diplomats kindly offering snide sympathies for the difficulties Arinna’s home country faced: famine, fighting, rumors of a new disease, riots, storms, and drought. Away from the insulation of her embassy, Arinna found the conversation overwhelming. She was relieved when Eldridge stood for his farewell speech, Byran pulling them to the side of the throng.
Eldridge droned on, laughter falling at perfectly timed intervals as he paused. Not listening, she rubbed her temple, glancing up to find Byran’s attention on her and not the speech.
“I hadn’t realized things had gotten so bad. I haven’t looked for information ... we haven’t talked about your home in months.”
His hand was warm on her arm. Standing a fraction too close, Byran’s presence blocked out the rest of the room.
“It is worse than what they’ve said here tonight. Everyone knows it, Byran. Well, everyone but you apparently. A little more fighting and they’ll call it civil war. They’ll call us home.”
Anger flickered in his eyes, tensing the lines of his jaw. It was not a reaction she expected. “You don’t need to go.”
“Yes. I do,” she said with a laugh, surprised he didn’t understand.
Laughter and clapping interrupted Byran from speaking. He glared at the surrounding crowd, before tugging her the few paces to a doorway and out into the gardens. It was a warm night for February, which really wasn’t that unusual. She just still thought it was. Byran pulled her to the quiet in the shade between the lights softly illuminating the paths.
“Do you want to go back there? You said before you did not,” he asked while standing close enough that she took a step back. His gaze caught her.
“No,” Arinna answered after a moment. “No. They’ve made too many bad decisions, lied to us. No. I don’t really want to go back. But it is my duty, which is more than a job. I am military. There is no real choice.”
“Yes there is. There is always a choice. Arinna, I care about you. I don’t want to see you go back there. You are too good for them. Too good for Michael. Stay here. There is a place for you. I have a place for you. Stay with me.”
He stepped closer again. His hands sliding up her arms left trails of warmth behind. For all of their teasing and flirting, this was the most intimate embrace he had ever dared. Her only thought was that it didn’t feel as wrong as she imagined it should.
“Byran, I ...”
She caught herself just before their lips touched. She could barely hear the applause over the sound of her pulse thudding in her ears. She had leaned in to kiss him. She knew it. He did too. But he let her step back, her hands held loosely in his once again.
“Thank you. I just ... not tonight.”
“You’ll think about it?” he asked, swiping her cheek with a small caress.
“Yes. I will.”
She couldn’t believe she promised him that. But she did. And she meant it. Which left her in shock as she walked away, rejoining the crowd that gathered around Eldridge. She wanted to find Michael, but also didn’t desire to find out what he would read in her eyes and stiff motions. Instead, the crowd carried her along until she found herself in front of Ambassador Eldridge. Her place and role pushed aside the cloud blocking her thoughts.
“Congratulations, Ambassador. We will miss you here in Madrid.”
“That is very kind of you, Ms. Prescot. No, I haven’t forgotten your name,” he said in recognition of her surprise. “Actually, I’d hoped to speak to you before I left, if you have a moment?”
He led her to the quiet of a doorway leading into the inner halls of the embassy. “I’ve been impressed with how well you’ve ... established sources, shall we say, since your arrival. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone create such a solid network so quickly.”
“I’m not sure what you are referring to,” Arinna hedged. Eldridge waved it away.
“We are both aware what I’m referring to. I think you’ve found better information on your home country than I. Which is saying something. Look, I could use someone with your skills in Brussels. A post with NATO is something I’ve been seeking for a long time, and I know what assets I’ll need to succeed. One of them is people like you.”
“Are you offering me a job?”
“Yes. I’m certain you might need to ponder this, which is fine. The offer is open anytime. Call me. I’ll make the arrangements.”
Eldridge handed her a card fished from his pockets, squeezed her arm, and walked off. Arinna leaned against the doorjamb until Michael found her.
“What’s wrong?”
“Eldridge,” she answered, happy to have one thing she could tell him. “He offered me a job.”
“You can’t take it,” Michael said, quickly. He watched her closely.
“Yes. I know. I’m not even sure if he was serious.”
“With NATO?” he asked after a moment.
“Yes. I think so. We didn’t really get into details.”
Michael frowned. “We’ll talk about it later. What happened to Byran?”
“He is being ... Byran. Are you ready to go?”
“No. I told you I wanted a dance.”
For all the pretensions of embassy life, Michael had rarely danced with her. But for the remainder of the night, he gave Byran a run for attention and chivalry. The year in Spain had changed him, both of them, more than she had imagined. When Michael was called in for some surely manufactured emergency at dawn, Arinna got up too, woozy on three hours of sleep. And she didn’t head to the embassy.
She told herself it was to ask Byran about Eldridge’s offer. It had nothing to do with the fact that no matter how much Michael had changed into someone far more carefree than she had conceived he could be, there were underlying traits in him that would never be altered. His patriotism was as deep as his bones. She’d once loved him for it. Now, she was afraid of where it would lead her.
It had nothing to do with the kiss she’d stopped out of instinct more than lack of desire. Her mind was a chaos of scattered thoughts, roiling in time to the fluttering of her heart. She couldn’t ignore what she was doing when she turned the corner and faced Byran’s townhouse across the street. But it wasn’t the realization of her intentions that stopped her.
Byran stood at the door of his townhouse with a dainty brunette who wore a wrinkled evening gown. Reality took all the giddiness from her in one breath. Arinna leaned against the building, grateful for the morning shadows as Byran kissed the woman slowly. She laughed against his mouth before walking away. Arinna waited until Byran walked inside before heading home.
It took some pacing, a shower, and pulling out clothes Arinna hadn’t worn since her first weeks in Spain before she felt in control of herself. Organizing her information sources to discover what event had called Michael in at dawn, she found Eldridge’s card on her desk. She didn’t need Byran’s offer to stay. And it hadn’t been the alluring image of a life enhanced with his wealth and privilege that had driven her to his apartment that morning. Arinna put the card aside not certain she wanted Eldridge’s offer either. Pushing away the flood of anger, she reached for the phone.
Michael’s gaze flashed back
to her when he got home late that morning. “I’d think it was much worse than a data breach looking at you. You look more military than me.”
“No, data breach is what I heard as well.” His questioning glance stayed on her attire. “I ... wanted to wear something that made me feel like me,” she explained, looking away when tears stung her eyes. She’d been dreading this conversation all day.
He sat next to her, taking her hand. “What’s wrong?”
“Byran ... last night,” Arinna faltered.
“Did you fight? I wondered why I found you alone. You know, I should have forbidden you from seeing him from the first,” he said, laughing as he brushed away her tears.
“Yes, you should have. It would have solved a lot of problems.”
Michael’s teasing sobered. His gaze shifted from piercing to anger. “If you expect me to sit here while you cry over another man ...”
“No. I got my feelings hurt, that is all. It is silly. I promise,” she added.
Michael hesitated before leaning forward and kissing her forehead. “Alright, I trust you. I always have. I’ll hit him if you like or challenge him to a duel, whatever it is they do over here.”
Arinna laughed. “I get to hit him first.”
Arinna managed to avoid Byran for two days. It was time used to find perspective and a sense of balance. But she knew eventually Byran would track her down.
“You are avoiding me,” Byran said, catching her by waiting outside the embassy in the morning. “I wouldn’t have thought telling you that you had a place with me, asking if you would ... that it would drive you away.”
For his part, Byran looked unkempt, more than she had ever seen him. Dark scruff shadowed his cheeks and his eyes held hurt rather than self-assurance.
“It wasn’t that. Actually, it was because of that. I came to see you the next morning, early — very early.”
Not a flicker of realization stirred in his gaze. Which took away the kindness seeing Byran so out of sorts had caused. It was that easy to get lost again.
“You were saying goodbye to a young woman ... who looked to have stayed over?” Arinna said, coldly.
“Genevieve?” Byran said, catching on at last.
“You remembered her name. That is nice.”
“Yes. I took her home. We slept together. What of it?” His ready admission and lack of guilt made the conversation feel that much more unreal.
“Apparently nothing. I thought your offer meant something else. I guess I was wrong.”
“You weren’t wrong. Do you think I care less for you because of that girl? That isn’t true, Arinna.”
“Perhaps it means you don’t care as much for me as I hoped.”
That sunk in. “Arinna, let’s go—”
“No. Not today. I have work to do and I really don’t want to see you right now. In a few days,” she said as an argument formed on his lips.
The look in her eyes stopped him. Byran swallowed before asking, “You promise? You will meet with me in a few days?”
“Yes,” she said, leaving before he could reach for her.
—
The attacks happened while Arinna was at work. Despite their rocky friendship, Byran was the first to call and tell her.
“Something’s happened. Leave now before they lock you down. Meet me at the café,” he said before hanging up. Arinna grabbed her coat and left, regretting that calling Michael minutes prior to the announcement of something that she wasn’t supposed to know about would raise alerts.
She kissed Byran’s cheek in greeting, but dodged his hug. He gave her a hurt look, one that she would have felt guilty for if it showed any sign of understanding why she’d kept her distance for over two months. But he didn’t. She didn’t imagine Byran would change for anyone. It was not a life she could lead, but Byran hadn’t accepted that yet.
“Have you heard anything?” Byran asked as he served her tea, fussing as if the visit were social.
“A few things on the way over: simultaneous attacks, predawn. But I don’t know how many or where.”
“At least six. A few were military targets and data hubs, the others weapons depots.”
Arinna cursed under her breath. Byran didn’t know much else, just a list of reported targets that were very uncertain, and no idea of severity. But he had gotten her out of the embassy, which would allow her to check other contacts before going back. For that alone, she was grateful.
Her work phone buzzed. She checked it even though she was certain what it would say. “I’m being called back.”
Byran nodded, standing to see her out. “Stay safe,” he whispered into her ear as he kissed her cheek. “Please call me when you can.”
“I will.” She squeezed his arm, allowing that much contact between them.
It took two days for the embassy to go off of high alert. Things remained tense, especially after news of the level of attacks and amount of stolen weapons came out. Most of it was unofficial, but the halls of the embassy buzzed with information. Some of it was accurate.
Three more weapons depots had been emptied while five other strategic areas had been targeted. Information and communication centers had gone down five minutes before the first explosion, ten minutes before the raid on the depots. The work was precision, orchestrated using the information breached months before, and organized by someone inside the military or government. Or both. The USA was chasing its own tail, spinning into darkness. When she came home to find Michael hunched over the table, two letters laid out before where he sat with fingers tangled in hair that she’d grown to like seeing long, Arinna knew the chaos had finally reached out for them.
“We have orders,” Michael said when he realized she was in the room. She took the chair across from him. The letters lay between them on the table.
“What are they?”
“I’m to go back to the Air Force. Active duty. Rank of Captain.”
“That isn’t bad. You miss flying.”
He looked at her from where he sat with his forehead resting in his palm. The one eye she could see was wild and frantic. Arinna took a slow breath.
“Me?”
“Active duty, army, general rank, front line platoon. That is a demotion.”
She had to swallow a few times before she could answer. “They know I’ve been asking questions about the FLF. We heard about others who asked the wrong things.”
“The FLF have taken how many depots? With the weapons they control now ... even against the US army that is a death sentence. They are sending you out to be killed.”
“It is better than hauling me in and killing me themselves.”
Michael flinched, the look on his face desperate enough that Arinna fell back in her chair with a whuff. This was real. Expecting something similar hadn’t prepared her as much as the flippant answers pretended.
“If we go back, neither of us have a future, Michael. The FLF has gotten too much information and too many weapons. No one trusts each other. The military is infiltrated. You could be shot down or fly a plane that is rigged. Heck, your plane could be remotely flown into a target. There is not going to be a winner in this battle. Just a lot of deaths.”
“Punishing you for asking too many questions is the last sign I needed ... if I needed it.”
“So what do we do?”
“You could take Byran up on his offer.”
Arinna swayed back in her chair, nearly tipping over. “You knew? I thought I had good contacts ... is there anything about my time here that you don’t know?” The anger was misplaced, but it still ticked her off that he’d kept her watched.
“It took some time. Byran was out of sorts enough after the ball that he eventually moaned to someone. No names, of course. If you hadn’t been avoiding him, I might have said something.” He watched her steadily. “That doesn’t answer the question. Do you want to take Byran up on his offer?”
“No, Michael,” she answered, blinking tears out of her eyes. “I love you,
not him. I want to be with you.”
Relief took the tension out of Michael’s frame. He reached across and she gave him her hand. “Good,” he said, and then laughed.
“So where does that leave us? Going back and getting killed?” she asked.
“Do you think Eldridge’s offer is still open?”
“Work at NATO? I’m not certain ... I could find out. We’ll be considered traitors.”
“Dear, I think you already are.”
—
They couldn’t tell anyone of their plans. They packed and said goodbyes as if planning to return. For the last week, Arinna took part in military training trials at the gym. They were not the only ones going home. The embassy would be emptied to a bare bones staff. Many nervous faces hurried down the hallways or woke at dawn to go to the gym to build muscles gone flaccid with days spent filing paperwork at desks.
Avoiding Byran was the most difficult part. Between his offer and their friendship, Arinna didn’t trust that Byran wouldn’t sort out they weren’t going home. So after talking it out with Michael, they decided she would tell him a few hours before they departed. She simply had to put him off till then.
The embassy remained in a heightened security state, which kept Byran out. She left at odd hours, spending as much time on the grounds as she could. She didn’t answer his calls. Finally, she sent a note to his house. Arinna left Michael to finish loading their bags and walked for the last time through Madrid to meet Byran at a park. He was waiting for her, pacing his agitation off in quick bursts.
“Arinna, thank God, you can’t seriously be going back there?” He searched her eyes, holding onto her arm as if afraid she’d walk away.
“No. We aren’t going,” she said.
The anxiousness drained out of Byran. He pulled her down onto a bench, holding her hands. “We? So Michael is staying too?” Arinna rolled her eyes. “How? The embassy will round up stragglers. I’ve seen the orders.”
“We’ve seen them too. I took a job with Eldridge on the UK Defense Council with NATO. He’s made arrangements to get us to Brussels tonight.”
“Eldridge? You can’t be serious. He is unscrupulous ... he doesn’t care about you! He will use you to get himself a promotion.”
“Fine! I don’t care if he is using me, just that he is helping us stay.”
“I could help you,” Byran said, gently touching her cheek. “You know I would help you.”
“And Michael too?” Byran glanced away. She kept him from trying to come up with an answer. “Byran, I can’t be with you.”
“Why? Because you are married? Arinna, I care about you and want to be with you. I think you care about me.”
“I do care ... but not enough. Not enough to tolerate who you are, your little affairs, how you flirt with every girl. We wouldn’t last and I’m not going to lose Michael for that.”
Byran stared at her. “I want to make up for that night. I realize it bothered you, but you’ve kept avoiding me. I—”
“Byran, no. You don’t even understand why it bothers me. How can you make up for that? How will you know not to do it again? Michael and I are leaving. I’m here to say goodbye.”
“You are making a mistake.”
“Maybe. But I’m avoiding several others. Seriously, Byran, how could you see us working out once your desire is filled? Is there anything beyond that for either of us?”
“Let me fight for this. I have tried to win you!”
“Win me? Do you think you could win me? How? You have a job you got through your family, one that I don’t think you show up for but to pick up women. You have no idea what it means to be faithful. I would never betray Michael. And even if that weren’t so, what have you ever done to recommend yourself to me? Why would I ever choose you?” She shook her head, tossing away the idea she had of a tearful and sweet goodbye. Things with Byran never went as planned. “Goodbye, Byran.”
Arinna left without looking back.