The next day at the embassy, while cleaning and re-organizing their things in the small room they were given, Shelly discovered that her little compass was gone. She tore through everything. Somehow the loss of this trinket seemed to add to her sense of loss. The memories of her father and her survival in this country were so intricately tied to it. It had served her so well. She closed her eyes, feeling adrift, and rudderless.
She pulled herself together and determined to let the Lord be her compass. After all, He was the one ultimately in control. She stood at the window of their room and stared off into the city outside, talking to her Lord and Savior.
Tom had been watching her search. In his heart, he knew what she was probably looking for. He placed his hand on the little toy in his pocket. He knew he would have to return it to her. It was the right thing to do, but he was reluctant to let it go. Somehow holding it was like having a part of her with him. He knew that they could be parted any day now, maybe never to see each other again. And the thought of losing Shelly added to the loss he felt for his parents.
He had meant to give it to her in the Maasai village, after finding it in the battlefield, but the longer he kept it, the harder it was to give it back. He knew it was wrong. He imagined what his father would have said, or even his mother. Neither one of them would have wanted him to keep it. He knew what he had to do.
Bravely and with a good heart and the compass safely enclosed in his hand, he walked quietly up and reached out his hand to her.
Shelly turned and looked as he opened his hand to reveal the little treasure. She was delighted with the surprise of his gift, but she also could see sadness and guilt on his face, as well.
“Where did you find it?” she asked gently.
Tom told her and revealed his reluctance to part with it. He apologized and Shelly hugged him with the knowledge that he wanted to be with her, or at least to have something of hers. Oh, how she wanted to be with these children for the rest of her life, but she knew they had a home to go to. It was not in her power to keep them. It was going to be hard to leave them when the time came.
First Jim, and now the children, she thought unhappily.
“It’s alright Tom, I understand. I’ll be here for you as long as I can,” she added. “You still have your Grandmother, you know. And she said she would be calling us every day until we can leave. She’s so anxious to have you home with her. I’m glad you have a home waiting for you in Oregon,” she told him.
“Will I get to see you when we are living at Grammy’s house?” asked Tom.
“You bet… It only takes about eight hours to drive from Mica to Portland and I’ll come and visit you as often as I can,” Shelly offered.
But the thought of going alone, without Jim… always without Jim now, broke her heart. Yes, she would see the children often… maybe she would even move to Portland to be closer to them. God only knew what lay ahead for them and she prayed for His love, strength and provision. She would especially need it now that she was going to be living in this world without her husband, partner and best friend.
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