Her face fell. “Look, I know he’s cheating—she’s blonde, tall, legs for days, you took pictures of them, remember? I just need more proof, I need to catch him red-handed so he feels bad . . . at this point I can’t just show him pictures, it’s not enough. I want him to feel.” Her teeth gritted and then she hung her head. “I want him to just . . .”
“You want him to feel shame. You want him to notice you. You want him to want you,” I finished for her. “But this isn’t how you get that, Vanessa.” I licked my lips. “I’ll do my job because this is part of our contract, but after tonight, I’m done.”
Her smile didn’t reach her eyes.
“Is this really what you want?” I felt like I had to ask her again.
Indecision crossed her face before she rolled her eyes. “He’s all I’ve ever wanted. Well, that and to be famous, to be known for something more than this.” She lifted her hands as if to show me what “this” entailed. She was pointing at herself.
“Vanessa, I say this from one human being to another . . . there will never be a point in your life where it will be enough.” I touched her shoulder and then went into my room.
I made a beeline for my balcony.
Colin was already out on his.
“Thank you.” His eyes held so much sadness I wanted to cry. “For being honest with her, for standing up to her, I may have eavesdropped . . .” He scratched the back of his head. “I don’t want you to do it.”
“I don’t want to do it either.”
“The pay must be good, huh?” His smile was back, but the bite of his words felt like a slap.
“Excuse me?” I hissed. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing,” he swore. “Sorry, that was out of line.”
“You think?” I turned to go back into my room.
“Blaire, wait!”
I ignored him.
And then he was behind me, pulling me into his arms, kissing my neck. “I’m sorry, I’m just jealous. It scares the shit out of me that he might even try something with you, that you’ll like it more than you realize, that—”
“Stop.” I turned in his arms. “As insulting as it is that you’re assuming this is normal for us . . . we don’t do that. If one of us is bait, the other is filming it for Facebook Live to expose the cheater. We don’t make out with clients’ husbands. That’s a prostitute you’re thinking of. Not a PI.”
Colin hung his head. “On a scale from one to pissed, how angry are you right now?”
The shower turned off.
Isla walked out, saw us, then turned on her heel and walked right back into the bathroom.
“Pissed. Off,” I said.
“Let me make it up to you.”
“Sex won’t make this better.”
“Sex always makes things better, especially angry sex where I let you slap me.” He grinned.
It was hard not to smile.
“All men are pricks.” He said it loudly, probably so Isla could hear. “And I’m the biggest of them all . . . because I’ve tasted you, because I’ve memorized you, because the thought of not having you right in front of me is the most terrifying thought I’ve ever had. That this could be gone makes me crazy. You make me crazy.”
“Bad crazy?”
“The best sort of crazy,” he whispered, lowering his head, and then his lips were on mine, his hands were in my hair, fingers massaging my scalp as a dizzying sensation washed over me. He pulled away. “The very best.”
Suddenly Isla was speaking—when did she walk back into the room?
“You have a room, Colin,” she said sweetly. “And a bed. I suggest you both use them while I hold down the fort here.”
Colin pulled me into his arms, kissing me again, before leading me back to the balcony.
We were two stories up.
But our balconies were only a foot apart.
I jumped over.
He followed.
Just as Jessie opened his door and walked out onto his.
Caught.
So caught.
But he wasn’t looking at us.
Or even paying attention.
It was Vanessa who came out next, wrapped her arms around his naked chest, and whispered, “I love you.”
I wanted to rip her eyes out.
I lunged toward them, the protective side of me wanting to expose her in front of Jessie, all the hateful things she said, the way she was using him. Colin shoved me into his room and closed the door. “Don’t ruin it just because she’s a bitch.”
“She’s crazy!” I may have yelled it two more times before I calmed down.
Colin smirked. “God, you’re so pretty when you’re pissed.”
I was ready to smack him when he pulled me into his arms and whispered gruffly, “Now get naked.”
Chapter Forty-Three
COLIN
I’d never been so overcome with irrational jealousy.
You’d think that I’d be more upset that my best friend was screwing my sister over by way of lies and manipulation.
Yet the only thing I could focus on was the fact that Blaire’s hands would be on his body, that his hands would reciprocate.
It was enough to make me want to ram both fists through the nearest wall and let my head follow.
Blaire tugged her shirt over her head and threw it at my face.
It made me smile. She slammed my body onto the feather top, straddling me with her shorts and shoes still on.
“What happened to the angry sex, Colin?” She moved her hips a bit, sending all of my blood south. Winter is coming.
And soon . . .
She would be too.
I gripped her hips with my hands and squeezed as a curtain of hair fell across her face. “After you do your job, I want you in my room, my bed.”
“Yes.” Our mouths met in a heated kiss. I was so hard anything could and would set me off, a light breeze would have me screaming her name and spending everything I had.
I’d never had both with a woman.
The undeniable animal attraction I had to Blaire.
Paired with the actual desire to hold on to her heart and never let go. It was overwhelming, terrifying, it was more than I deserved, but in that moment I couldn’t bring myself to care about the ramifications of our actions.
She grinned down at me. “You’re thinking hard.”
I groaned. “Don’t say hard, you make it harder.”
“Is that possible?” She moved against me again.
I bit back a curse. “Obviously not.”
With a laugh she kissed me again, I flopped her onto her back and shrugged her shorts down, then tossed her shoes behind me.
She was this gorgeous feast spread out across my bed. I licked my lips while her pupils dilated.
“Thought you wanted to slap me?”
“That was your idea.”
“Our idea,” I corrected. “But now that I have you here, I don’t want to be angry, Blaire, I just . . .” I frowned, uncomfortable with how insecure I felt over the fact that this girl was it for me, that I wanted her to tie me to the altar and threaten me within inches of my life if I said no. “I want to love you.”
Her eyes filled with tears.
I tangled my hands in hers and pressed her body against the mattress, as our breaths matched, collided, swirled around our lips as they kissed, met, made love.
I ducked my head, pressing feather-light kisses to her neck as she trembled beneath me.
I was just getting ready to suck one perfect pink nipple when a knock sounded at the door.
“Colin? It’s Jessie, can we talk, man?”
Blaire gave me a panicked look.
“Colin? Don’t make me grab a key, man, wake that ass up so I can talk to you.”
“He wouldn’t,” Blaire whispered.
“He would. He has no sense of personal boundaries where I’m concerned.”
She bolted from underneath me and turned. I sighed and pointed at the c
loset. “Hide. I’ll get rid of him.”
She gathered her clothes and shut herself into my closet just as Jessie unlocked my door and waltzed right in.
“Seriously, come in, no problem, I don’t need privacy, hell, what if I was naked?”
Jessie snorted. “Nothing I haven’t seen before. Remember in high school when I walked in on you in the shower and you were—”
“Hah-hah,” I said loudly. “No need to relive old times.”
Jessie burst out laughing. “Oh man, I’ll never look at a loofah the same again.”
I prayed for a thunderbolt to take down the entire fucking hotel.
Jessie was still laughing.
“Did you need something? Other than to embarrass the hell out of me?”
He frowned. “What? You’re worried the girls can hear you through the walls. Trust me, they can’t, otherwise you would have heard the fight Vanessa and I had a few minutes ago.”
“Fight?”
“Man, she’s . . . insane!”
“Yeah, I know, I claim her as family.”
Jessie sat on the roughed-up bed and frowned. “Were you sleeping?”
“It’s a weird time change, I was tired.”
He looked around the room like he was trying to piece something together and then gave his head a shake. “It’s just, here’s the thing . . .” Jessie stood and scratched his head like he was uncomfortable. “She’s always assumed the worst, and maybe I let her believe the worst because I was so sick and tired of all the shit.”
My eyes narrowed. “What exactly are you saying, Jessie?”
He looked like he wanted to confess something.
This could be it.
This could mean Blaire wouldn’t have to go through with it.
“I don’t want to burden you, man, it’s not your job.” He stood. “I do have a favor, though, can you keep your sister away from me tonight? I don’t want to lose focus, I’m stressed enough as it is.”
The universe clicked together in that moment.
The reason Vanessa pushed him.
Fought with him.
Had nothing to do with the actual fight, but her reading the play perfectly. I’d do my job as brother and best friend, a job I’m not proud to have done several times in the past when he needed a break. I’d run interference.
And she’d get Jessie alone.
Weak.
Vulnerable. And cause him to run straight into Blaire’s arms, giving my sister the ammunition she needed.
Fuck.
Terrorists had nothing on my sister.
God help us if she ever married into the mafia. The last thing she needed was a weapon to go with her emotional warfare.
“Yeah, man.” I scratched the back of my head and tried not to look worried. “I’ll keep her away, just do me a favor in return.”
“Anything.”
“Don’t take the bait,” I whispered.
He squinted at me, then smiled. “I’ll try, but I literally have no idea what you’re talking about.”
I exhaled. “You will.”
Chapter Forty-Four
BLAIRE
The last time I was this nervous I was getting dumped by my boyfriend at prom in front of the entire student body.
One minute we were dancing and laughing, the next he was in the bathroom getting high and then grabbing Sierra and jamming his tongue down her throat.
I never slept with him.
Later found out he had syph.
He was a real winner.
He was also really popular, meaning the fight between us happened for all to see. Why did it feel like history was somehow repeating itself? Why did it feel like I was minutes away from getting in a fight I wanted no part of, in front of hundreds of people?
Soft classical music played in the background. The garden was lit up with lanterns. Players from the NFL as well as the European Football League walked around in their fancy evening clothes. The charity chose a different country to host the banquet every year, and each country chosen was the one who received whatever the charity was sponsoring, in this case an orphanage. The year previous they built a school. People flew in from all over the world to experience local culinary masterpieces and network with each other. Oh yeah, and to support the charity too.
I was trying not to puke.
“You’ve got this.” Isla handed me a glass of champagne. “And your legs look fabulous.”
I was wearing a floor-length black dress with a slit that went all the way up my right thigh, exposing enough leg to make sitting problematic.
The dress fell over my shoulders and scooped down the front, it was very Breakfast at Tiffany’s.
I even had pearls wrapped around my neck in a choker-like fashion, with my hair piled high on my head.
Had I been there for any other reason . . .
I would have felt like a princess.
Instead, I felt like the villain dressed up as a princess.
“This is a horrible idea,” I whispered as Jessie got up on the main stage and started to speak.
I thought about the man. About what he was capable of. The man speaking I could respect.
I just hoped that my vision of him wouldn’t shatter yet again when or if he took the bait, but part of me assumed he would, knew he would.
Because I knew from our past that whenever he was in public, he was at his most vulnerable—he gave everything to his fans, to his admirers, and saved nothing for himself.
I sighed. He was vulnerable, alright.
And when you’re vulnerable . . .
You default to the safe, the familiar, or whatever makes you feel alive again, like your old self.
It doesn’t make you a bad person.
It makes you freaking human.
“I just wanted to take a few minutes,” Jessie continued, “to thank my friends and family for traveling with me, supporting my dream with this charity. And to everyone here, in allowing me to be the honorary chairman for such a great cause . . .” The knife wedged itself deeper into my rib cage as I tried to even my breathing and not black out. “It’s been a difficult year, transitioning from playing ball to doing what I do now, but it’s been so good, I’ve learned a lot about myself, about those I care about—” He smiled that movie-star smile that used to make my knees buckle. “Life is good as long as you have people you love spending it with you. And I’m thankful to say I have that.”
I knew he wasn’t talking about Vanessa.
And he didn’t love me.
But maybe he meant a familial love.
“Now, let’s raise some money!”
Everyone cheered and clapped.
Myself included.
Colin had Vanessa corralled by the bar while Jessie made his way through the parted crowd toward me.
I was shaking.
Shaking so badly I thought he’d notice.
He held out his hand.
I took it as he escorted me on one side and Isla on the other.
So far so good.
Isla stumbled. “Oh shoot, I forgot something back in my room. Don’t wait for me, guys!” She ran off.
Leaving us alone.
I gulped.
Jessie watched my mouth, his eyes darting from my lips to my eyes. Oh no, oh no.
“Did you get any champagne?” I said lamely.
He smirked. “You and champagne.”
“Girls have needs.”
He choked out a laugh. “And those needs include as much free champagne as you can drink.”
“Free is free, Jessie.”
“I’m glad you came,” he said, changing the subject. “I’m glad all of you guys came. I don’t think I could have done half of this with a smile on my face if I didn’t know I could just be myself around you guys.”
I smiled through my teeth and took another large gulp and nodded my head in agreement like I wasn’t ready to throw up champagne all over his shiny shoes.
We walked up to the bar, he looked at me, then at
the bartender.
“What will you have?” The bartender grinned at us.
“Beer,” I blurted. “For him.”
Jessie’s eyes narrowed. “What makes you think I want beer?”
“You said you could be yourself. So be yourself” was all I said.
He nodded at me. “Whiskey. Get her top shelf, one cube.”
I smiled down at the tabletop then back at Jessie. “Cheers?”
“Let’s take a walk.”
I looped my arm in his, my left hand holding my shaking drink as we moved around the garden, he made conversation with a few people, and then we were on the bridge, alone, staring up at the star-filled sky.
As the jungle around us came alive.
“Why are you here, Blaire?”
“Hmm?” I pretended not to hear the question.
“Here.” He crossed his arms. “Why are you really here? And don’t give me that bullshit about wanting to donate money for Ian. He could have done that in seconds, hell, he could have done it in person rather than sending you. So what are you doing here?”
“I, uh . . .” Panic took over. Damn it, why wasn’t Isla the bait this time? “Does it matter? I’m here. You’re here.” Oh, look, a frog.
“It matters that you’re here, yes.” His eyes searched my face. He leaned down, I waited, my body shook with the wrongness of it all.
Jessie brushed hair away from my face and cupped my chin. “You’re shaking like a worm on a—”
He jerked away.
Glared.
Turned around in a circle. “Fuck. Tell me you’re not bait?”
I gulped. “I, um . . . I can explain—”
His eyes flashed with hurt. I opened my mouth just as Colin burst onto the trail with Vanessa and Isla close on his heels.
“Colin, stop!”
“NO!” Colin roared. “Sorry, Jessie, I can’t let this happen, I can’t. I know you like her, I know you were going to maybe kiss her, hell, maybe you weren’t. Does it even matter?”
Jessie blinked at his best friend. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“You kissing Blaire.”
“I didn’t kiss Blaire.”
“Well, you were going to and—”
Jessie burst out laughing. “Tell me you aren’t in on this, Colin, tell me my best friend isn’t helping his psychotic sister get everything she wants just because she wants it.”