Yes, Ethan would double-cross me as suspected. But I'd be aware of that going in and have ways to circumvent him. And even if he came up with ways to circumvent me, it could still be a win for my team. If I ended up in an Anima facility, I could free the boys and possibly damage a branch of the company.
Torture and death were the only downsides, but I was in danger of the latter every day, no matter where I happened to be.
We searched the apartment. Besides a few pieces of furniture and a TV, the place was empty. There were no secret compartments or hidden cubbyholes that we could find--just a chair and a few empty bags of chips and cans of soda. It looked like the guy had been holed up, just waiting for us to show up.
We finished canvassing the building, and it wasn't long before we found the clue we'd so desperately needed. A fortysomething woman had gone outside to smoke the night of the attacks, and she remembered seeing a teenage boy being put inside a dark sedan and hearing two guys in black talk about where to take him. Dr. Hodad or Dr. Rangarajan. The men in black had laughingly decided on Hodad.
Hopefully he was listed.
But when were things ever that uncomplicated?
Darkness had fallen by the time we finished, and the proof-of-life photos still hadn't come in.
"What's next?" I asked.
Lines of tension framed River's eyes. "You're welcome at my place."
I looked to Cole. We could go to our new safe house instead.
But he shook his head at me and said to River, "Sounds good."
Well, okay, then.
"My boys will work a little computer magic and learn everything they can about this Dr. Hodad." River smiled without humor. "The more we know, the more likely we are to hit him where it hurts and get the answers we need."
Agreed.
We met up with the other group. Cole pulled Frosty aside, and the two engaged in a heated conversation.
I couldn't hear what was being said.
"I told Frosty we wouldn't have any problems, and I was right," Kat said, beside me. "Now he's even more ticked, thinking I'll want to accompany him on every mission."
"Is he right?" I asked.
"Hardly. This kind of sucked."
Good.
The boys returned, but Cole wouldn't meet my gaze.
O-kay. Clearly he had a problem. Thinking about me offering to trade myself for Justin, perhaps?
Yeah. Definitely. In other words, date night had just become lecture night. Great!
Everyone climbed into the cars. Ours claimed the front of the line and Frosty's the rear. All of us kept our attention on the streets, searching for any sign of zombies. And, even worse, the detectives.
"Feel free to hang in the courtyard," River said as we entered the building. "I've got to tell my tech nerds what we need. I'll be out in a few." He stepped away, only to pause. "Veronica, why don't you come with me?"
"I'd love to," she said, smiling as she bounded to his side.
"I'm going with them." Cole brushed his fingertips over my cheek and took off.
"But--"
He was gone.
Goodbye to you, too.
"No courtyard for us. We want a room," a very tense Frosty said, his arm slung around Kat's shoulders.
She blew me a kiss. I winked at her.
"Toni," Camilla shouted, and a young girl rushed over. "Show those two to a room."
"A good room," Kat corrected. "The best."
The threesome headed upstairs.
Camilla glanced at me, sighed and led us to the courtyard, where another death match was taking place on one side and a party with dancing on the other. There were around fifty other slayers present, and all were in their late teens or early twenties.
For a single girl, this had to be a slice of heaven.
My friends might not understand the cheers and boos surrounding the zombie pit, but they gravitated to the action.
"Introduce me." A boy stepped in front of us, stopping us, and nodded to Mackenzie. He was my height and on the lean side, Asian, with hair colored green. He had three teardrops tattooed underneath his right eye.
"Hiroaki, these are Cole and Ali's friends." Camilla rattled off their names. The boys nodded stiffly. The girls smiled in welcome.
Hiroaki kept his attention on Mackenzie. "Nice to meet you."
"You, too," she replied formally.
I waited for her to curtsy.
Two other boys approached and flanked Hiroaki. One of them was Knuckle Scars, and he, too, focused intently on Mackenzie, as if he'd just spotted his next--and last--meal.
"Who do we have here?" the other one asked. He was black and rugged, pure sex appeal. But he couldn't have cared less about the girls. He peered at Gavin with come-hither intent. "I could just eat you up one tasty bite at a time."
Gavin puffed up like a peacock. I think he totally expected everyone to be sexually attracted to him, no matter their gender, so, to him, this was just confirmation that he was right.
"I seriously hate to break it to you," he said, "but I'm the buffet of choice for girls, and they don't like to share me with the other team."
"Figures." The boy shrugged, an I-had-to-try gesture. "I'm Joshua. Josh to my friends, but you can call me anytime," he added with a wink.
"I'm Chance," Knuckle Scars said, and, oh, wow, his voice! He probably made angels weep.
He took Mackenzie's hand, while she stood frozen. "We've met," she said.
"I know."
As Chance turned his attention to Jaclyn, Gavin moved behind her and crossed his arms, staring at Chance with more menace than I'd ever seen from him. It was almost comical.
The muscular Chance wasn't intimidated and dared to take Jaclyn's hand.
She blushed, the added color only making her prettier.
A low growl broke from Gavin's throat. Gasping, Jaclyn spun. When she saw how close he was, and exactly how aggressive his stance, she backed away from him.
"Was that necessary?" Mackenzie asked Chance.
"No. Fun? Yes."
"Our definition of fun differs."
His smile was brief, but no less spectacular. "I've shown you mine. Why don't you show me yours?"
"Seriously?" she said. "You don't speak to me the first two times we see each other, and this is how you lead?"
He shrugged, unabashed.
"Why don't you two fight in the pit?" Camilla suggested to Gavin and Chance. "The rest of us can place bets."
"Pit?" Gavin asked, clearly intrigued.
"This way." She marched forward, my group blindly, happily, shadowing her.
They watched the current fight for several minutes.
"Twenty dollars on the girl in the jogging pants," Gavin called, and Josh patted him on the back, as if he'd just said the most brilliant thing ever.
Jaclyn clutched her middle and backed away.
Chance noticed and sidled up to her. "Come on. I'll take you somewhere quiet."
She nodded, and the two soon disappeared inside. Gavin watched their departure through narrowed eyes. "She's supposed to be with me," Gavin spat.
Wow. He really did like her. "Are you sure? The visions don't always mean what we think they mean. You and I saw ourselves kissing, but that wasn't what happened at all."
"I still got a little action, didn't I?"
I rolled my eyes. "You should be nicer to Jaclyn."
"Girls don't want nice," he grumbled.
"Who told you that?"
"No one. But I pay attention. I know girls want what they can't have, and they want to be the special exception responsible for taming the boy no one else can, even though they probably won't be."
He was...kind of right. "Jaclyn isn't like other girls. She's fragile and--"
He gave a short, sharp laugh. "She isn't fragile, Ali-cat. She's tough as nails."
"No, she isn't."
"Yes, Ali, she is." His gaze leveled on me. "Like the visions, what you see is not always the truth. You focus on the hurt she projects and
never dig past the surface to see the rage bubbling deep inside, desperate for release."
"No--"
"You baby her," he continued, "and that's the last thing she needs."
I stomped my foot. "You didn't see her during our capture or after the attack."
"Doesn't matter. I see her now."
Mackenzie patted his shoulder. "You gonna stand here all night, Gav, or go get your girl?"
Meaning, she wanted Chance away from Jaclyn.
What a night.
As the zombies continued to fight in the pit, I noticed Camilla had wandered to the far edge of the courtyard to drink a cup of beer in private.
I joined her. "How do you capture them?"
She pressed her lips together and pretended I wasn't there. But I didn't go away, and finally she sighed. "We patrol every night, and on the occasions zombies come out, we collar as many as we can and kill the others. And if you dare tell me we're being cruel to zombies, I think I'll smash your face."
"Emotionless husks of evil will never get my sympathy."
"All right, then," she said. She looked over my shoulder and nodded. "You'll have to excuse me. I'm needed elsewhere." She took off for...wherever.
I wasn't alone for long. A boy-man hybrid bounded over and handed me a cup of beer. I thanked him even though I knew I wouldn't be drinking the contents. My dad had been an alcoholic, and I'd hated watching his decline; I'd always (mostly) avoided alcohol like the plague.
"Can't have you feeling left out," he said with a grin. He had at least ten long, thick scars on his face, making the plainness of his features hauntingly tragic.
"Thank you," I said again.
"No prob. Hey, I saw your fight the last time you were here. Not that it was really a fight. You were too hard-core for it to be fair. But, man, I was blown away. Never seen anything like it." He peered at me from under a thick fan of lashes. "So...how'd you do it?"
"It's just something I can do."
"Well, you should think about getting in the pit tonight. We've been talking about you, and the guys that missed it will do just about anything for the chance to watch you work."
"Maybe another time," I said. To me, zombie killing was a business--a privilege--not a sport.
Cole appeared at my side, glaring at the boy--who held up his palms and backed away.
"We found out what Hodad means," Cole said the moment we were alone.
The reprimand I'd been about to deliver died in my throat. "Well? Tell me."
Motions clipped, he took the cup of beer and set it aside. "Hands of death and destruction."
Oh...crap.
"River's guys found Dr. Rangarajan, too," he added. "We're sending a team to pick him up and bring him here. He might be able to tell us where the boys are being kept."
Glancing over his shoulder, I watched as River spoke to Gavin and Bronx, probably explaining the situation. Well, no probably about it. The three guys plus two others stalked from the courtyard.
"You're not going with them?" I asked.
"I delegated. Come on." He led me out of the building and across the cold, night-darkened street.
"Where are we going?"
"The safe house."
Alone? Together? For the lecture...or something else?
The building was smaller than River's, a little more run-down, but safety measures had already been taken. Cole had to punch in a code to open the front door. Inside, what had once most likely been a hotel lobby had been transformed into a rocking living room, with a large-screen TV, two couches and multiple recliners. There was a beautiful hand-knotted rug in front of a cracked marble hearth.
"It's been furnished," I said, surprised.
"Only this room." He built a fire. "Look. I know you, and I know you're thinking it'll be okay for you to trade yourself for Justin."
Lecture. Great. I got comfortable on the rug.
"But it's not okay. Not now, not later. And don't even think about arguing. I lead the slayers. Hence, I lead you. I make the decisions, and you do what I say."
He'd met me, right? "The only reason I'm not knocking you to your knees and making you beg for mercy right now is because I know you're speaking from a place of deep concern for me. But, Cole? You are seriously irritating the crap out of me."
He sat in front of me. I yanked at the collar of his shirt and let the material snap back into place.
"You're either my boyfriend or my boss," I said. "You can't be both. Pick one."
He scooted closer to me, so close I basically had to straddle his lap to remain upright. Big hardship. His chest brushed against mine, and whether accidental or intentional, it thrilled me.
"If it means keeping you safe," he said, "I pick boss."
As different emotions played havoc with my heartbeat, the scent of strawberries teased me. "Best-case scenario, I don't have to trade myself. I make Ethan think I'm willing and strike at him. And yes, he will attempt to double-cross us the same way we'll attempt to double-cross him. But you're acting like we can't win." I tried to mask my breathlessness as he traced his fingertips over my spine. "There's a chance we can save the boys and deliver a major blow to Anima at the same time."
"A chance you could be tortured and killed."
So I'd had the same thought. So what. "But at least I'll have done something." I had to do something. "And what if I'm the one, huh?" The girl who would sacrifice herself to save many. "What if I need to die?"
"You don't. What we read might be a counterfeit."
"It isn't. It was part of the journal."
He lowered his head, and his nose pressed against mine. "What if you're not the one? You would have put yourself in harm's way for nothing."
He had an argument for everything. "Not for nothing." But, okay, fine, I did get where he was coming from. "No matter what, we have to get those boys back. That's priority one."
A moment passed, the tension heating me up inside.
"You're right," he said and nodded. "But we'll do things my way."
"Agreed. If your way is my way."
He snorted. "Forget the right way--my way--for now."
"Already done. Now, enough talking. I've got a better use for your mouth." I brushed my lips against his and pushed his shoulders, easing him back on the rug.
He quickly rolled me over. His movements were as sleek as a panther's as he spread himself over me and pinned me down. "This your way of distracting me?" He kissed the line of my jaw, and my veins became a conduit for tingling warmth. "Because it's working."
"You did promise me a second date, did you not?"
"I did."
"Well, this is what I want to do."
"Lie here...talking?" He unveiled a slow, wicked smile.
The blood in my veins flashed white-hot. "Kissing...touching. More. Everything."
Expression growing pained, he said, "Ali--"
"I almost died yesterday," I interjected. "I could die tomorrow or even an hour from now. I want to be with you, Cole."
"Ali--" he repeated.
"No. You are under the impression that this decision is yours. Or your dad's. Well, news flash. It isn't. It's ours. I'm ready. I've been ready. You're ready."
A battle seemed to wage in his mind. "I've talked myself into and out of this all day."
So he had contemplated it. "What are my eyes saying?"
He pressed his forehead against mine. "Too much."
"And I'm sure every word is riveting. Listen to them."
I tangled my fingers in his hair and placed scorching kisses along his jawline. It wasn't long before he angled his head, meeting my lips with his own, stealing my breath.
"You're sure?" he rasped, hands beginning to wander.
He got his answer when I maneuvered him to his back...and made my move.
Chapter 23
A MIND IS A TERRIBLE
THING TO WASTE
I wanted to stand on a rooftop and shout. Hey, world! Cole and I finally had sex!
The big event e
nded over an hour ago, but we hadn't moved from the rug. Well, I hadn't. He had, but for only a moment, when he'd disposed of the condom. Then he'd returned and gathered me close. I was glad. I was still utterly overwhelmed. Me and Cole. Cole and me. The two of us. Together.
Was it stalker-clingy to think our souls were now melded together?
Probably. But I didn't care! We'd had sex!
As much as I belonged to him, he now belonged to me. Not just in word, but in deed. There was responsibility. Accountability. And yes, those things had been a part of our relationship before, but...everything just felt different now. More intense.
He held me in his arms, as if I was a precious treasure. Considering what we'd just done--melded souls!--I had better be. I could feel the thump, thump of his heartbeat, a riotous pound in sync with my own.
"You okay?" he asked.
I propped my chin in an upraised palm and peered down at him. His dark hair was rumpled and sexy, his eyes at half-mast. His lips were slightly swollen from the force of my kisses. Honestly? He'd never looked better.
"I think so." A deep sense of vulnerability washed over me--it wasn't the first time. "What about you? Wishing we'd waited two more years, as planned?"
"I think we both know that plan was destined to fail. And stupid. And a crime against nature."
I kissed the spot just over his nipple ring. "You gave it your best shot."
"That's all a guy can do, really," he said as he played with my hair.
"Well, A for effort."
"Oh, are we scoring each other now?"
"No!" I blurted...then nibbled on my bottom lip. "Yes?"
He chuckled. "You are off the charts, love. The best. My favorite. No one compares."
"Obviously," I replied, my tone imperious.
His chuckle morphed into a snort.
Another wave of vulnerability washed over me. "You love me, right? Now and always?"
"Of course I love you. And you believe me, because you trust me to always be honest with you."
Just like I would always be...honest with...
Oh, crap. I hadn't been honest with him. I hadn't told him about Helen. I'd had sex with him, but hadn't freaking told him about Helen.
I knew how devastating a single lie could be. How it could destroy a lifetime of trust. And this was a lie. A lie of omission. But I couldn't tell him now. Not while our clothes were scattered around us and we were basking in the warmth of the fire.
So...when?
Tomorrow. Yes. And he would forgive me. He would understand. Because of what we'd just shared, we would work things out easier now, each more willing to compromise.
In a desperate bid to change the subject, I said the first thing that popped into my head. "Have you ever been with someone like me before?" And then wanted to slink away and hide.