She almost laughed at the mention of Ashby, the one who had blinded him to begin with, but there was no humor in her. It was all too awful to even remotely be funny. “I know this is a lot to ask of you Aria, I know that you are young and in love, but…”
“Stop,” she whispered.
Ashby clasped hold of her hands as he knelt before her. She almost jerked away from him, but the tears in his bright green eyes held her immobile. He was actually crying, not for himself, but for her. “Jack doesn’t understand what you’re going through; I know that, you know that, but I understand. I couldn’t do this; I couldn’t let Melinda go if someone asked me to. She is everything to me. No matter what they did to me it didn’t matter as long as she was safe, and alive. I am so unbelievably sorry, I cannot…” his words broke off as tears slid down his cheeks. “I cannot imagine and I do not want to imagine your pain or his. It’s not fair, I know.”
His tears were her undoing. She wept as she fell against him, finding no solace in his arms. There would never be any comfort again. She was unable to regain control as Ashby rocked her, his tears mingling with her own. Jack stood away from them with his shoulders set stiffly, and his jaw locked as he stared into the dense forest.
Slowly, her sobs started to subside simply because there was no water left inside her to shed. Ashby continued to hold her, but he didn’t pretend that anything he offered would do her any good. Braith’s sense of rightness would prevail, she was sure of it. He may become irrational and explosive when she left, but she had faith that his good would win out in the end.
“There’s more Aria.” She could barely lift her head to look at Jack, never mind hear more of what he had to say. “He can’t know about this. You have to act normal around him.”
Horror filled her. “You mean we’re not leaving now?”
“No. He’ll tear these woods apart looking for you rather than fight. You can’t leave until the war is over and he’s been established as the leader. He has to realize he has a duty to thousands upon thousands rather than just himself and you.”
“My family?” she whispered.
“Your father will be informed of our intentions when the time is right, he will not be able to leave though.” So she would never see him again either. She’d thought she didn’t have any more tears left in her. She was wrong as agony clenched at her. “Daniel will also have to remain behind as your father’s second in command and most likely successor, but I think William will go with you.”
She nodded slowly. Yes, William would come with her, even if she told him to stay and enjoy the life that he was going to fight for, he would come with her. “And I think he should, even if you don’t. I will also be going with you.”
Aria blinked at him in surprise. “You can’t leave him, Jack.”
“I can’t leave you either, not unprotected…”
“William...”
“You will need more than just William. Braith is going to look for you and we will have to get far from him as fast as we can. I’m asking this of you, and I will follow it through with you.”
“And return after I’m dead?”
Jack shook his head. “No, I will never return. Even if time and distance ease his suffering and rage, he will still kill me if I return.”
Aria bit on her lip, her head bowed, she felt as if she were being crushed. She couldn’t find the right words, not anymore. Ashby rubbed her hair in an awkward attempt to soothe her further.
“I know it’s going to be difficult Aria but you have to act normal around him.” She blinked up at Jack; her lashes were sticky from the tears coating them. “If he suspects anything he’ll take you and he’ll never look back.”
“I don’t know how I’m going to do that.”
“I know this is a lot to ask of you, I understand that I can’t fathom what you are going through, what you will have to endure, but you are one of the strongest people I know, human or vampire, and I know that you can do this. I have absolute faith in you.”
She was glad someone did, because she sure as hell didn’t. Not about this. How on earth was she going to act normal around Braith? How the hell was she going to hide her misery and pretend that everything was fine, when her heart was shattering and her body was already aching with loss? How was she going to look him in the eye knowing that she was going to break his heart by leaving him again?
He would never forgive her. Even if it was for the best, even if it was for the good of so many, he would never get over her abandonment of him again. He would hate her. That realization was even worse than their time together coming to an end.
“He’ll never forgive me either,” she whispered, giving voice to her thoughts. “What if you’re wrong? What if he loses it completely?”
“Then we’ll deal with the consequences of that when it happens. Whether we bring you back or he steps down…”
“People could be killed before then.”
“I don’t think he’ll go that route again Aria. Last time he was confused. He didn’t know what was going on inside himself and his pride wouldn’t let him go after you. This time he’ll know, and once he calms down he’ll understand that this is for the best. You’ll leave him a note...”
“A note,” she laughed humorlessly, as if that would be enough. As if a simple piece of paper would be enough to convey her regret over leaving him. How could she put her sorrow into words? How could she possibly write down how much faith she has in him or how she knows that he will be the best leader for all those depending on him? She didn’t think they had enough paper for that. Even worse, Jack would have to write it for her.
“And he’ll come to realize that though it’s not fair, it is for the best. For everyone.”
“Maybe they would accept me,” she whispered.
“I’m sorry Aria,” Ashby squeezed her shoulders, pulling her against him. “But that will never happen. Saul and Barnaby have already inquired about your relationship. Braith believes he can keep the true nature of your relationship from them, but they will eventually figure it out. They’re on our side for now, but human and vampire bloodlines are not to be mixed, the children are shunned if they are human, tormented if they’re not…”
“Children?”
“It never ends well for them Aria,” Jack told her.
“There have been children?” she demanded stunned by this revelation.
“Yes, though if it is a blood slave carrying the child, she is usually killed before she can give birth.” Horror shuddered through her body, her hand instinctively rested on her stomach. “The vampire children that have been created are relegated to a life nearly as bad as the human servants within the palace. I wouldn’t be surprised if there aren’t a good number of half-breed vampire children amongst the troops in that cave; a lot of them left soon after my father took over.”
“Children,” Aria breathed awed by the possibility. She had never given much thought to children, she’d assumed she probably wouldn’t live long enough to have them, and she certainly didn’t want them exposed to the hardships of her life. She hadn’t thought a child with Braith was even a possibility, but now…
Jack knelt before her. “You cannot allow your relationship to progress Aria.”
Everything inside her shriveled up like a plant without water. Fresh tears fell. It had all been right there in front of her: happiness, security, a family. And now it was gone, all of it, just gone. She felt empty.
Jack took hold of her cheeks, cradling them. “I’m sorry. I know this is a lot to ask of you, and this isn’t fair, you deserve a happy ending, you both do, but…”
She grasped hold of his hands, squeezing them firmly as she leaned toward him. “But so do many others… I know… I get it,” she whispered.
Jack’s steel gray eyes were intense. “That’s not what I was going to say. You know well enough that the world isn’t fair, that bad things happen to good people but you’re the only one that can do this.”
She released his hands an
d looked away. The lake shimmered in the light of the sun, it was beautiful, but she found no joy in it. She didn’t think she’d find joy in anything for a long time if ever again. She didn’t know how she was going to do this but she knew she had to. Jack was right, Braith had to lead. He was strong, he was powerful, he was bred for leadership and they would all follow him.
Jack leaned back as he studied her. “Aria?”
She turned slowly toward Jack. “I’ve always done what’s needed to be done, as has Braith. I’ll do it now, and he will do it when I’m gone. I don’t know how I’ll do it, how I’ll pretend everything is fine, but I’ll figure it out.”
Jack grimaced as he closed his eyes. For the first time Aria realized a part of him had hoped she wouldn’t agree, that she would absolutely refuse to go along with it. That she would go back to Braith and not care about the consequences of her actions. Jack didn’t want to be the one to inflict this pain on his brother, or her, but now that she had made her choice, his road had been mapped out for him too. For the first time since he’d brought her out here she didn’t see him as her enemy, as the person who had just ruined her life, but more of an ally in her despair.
“I’m sorry,” Ashby apologized.
Aria had no idea how she was going to deceive Braith in such a way, but hopefully their lives would continue to be as hectic as they had been and he wouldn’t notice if she was a little distant.
“We should return,” Jack said.
She hated the idea of going back, but she couldn’t hide here forever, and as of now Braith could still track her anywhere. It was possible that he would always be able to do so. Jack hoped that there was a way to dilute Braith’s blood but she wasn’t so certain. She knew full well that Braith’s blood was a part of her now. Perhaps someone else’s blood could alter that, but she didn’t see how.
She started to share her thoughts with Jack but stopped herself. She knew she had to leave Braith, but it may be impossible for her to ever truly separate from him. There was nothing that Jack could do about that, or at least nothing that he would do. Jack was willing to take this road with her, willing to give up his old life for good, but if it became necessary he would not do the one thing that may be required to truly separate her and Braith.
He was like a brother to her and he was almost as stubborn as Braith. If she told Jack what she was thinking, he would only insist that someone else’s blood would be enough to dilute Braith’s within her, enough to separate them, even if it wasn’t.
Jack would not consider the fact that there may be only one way to truly sever her bond from Braith. But she knew someone that would.
CHAPTER 16
The reassuring thud of the arrow hitting its mark was typically like music to her savaged spirit. She fired off another arrow. Usually target practice soothed her, but nothing could soothe her now.
“Bad mood?”
She started in surprise; she’d been so entrenched in her melancholy that she hadn’t heard anyone approach. She was even more surprised to discover that it was Max. Her arm lowered, her lips parted as her heart leapt in anticipation. She hoped he had come to speak with her, to try and salvage their tattered friendship. She couldn’t handle it if he had only come to reinforce his intense disapproval of her and her decisions.
“Max.” Though she tried to sound as aloof as he was with her now, she heard the longing in her voice. He heard it too as he offered a small smile and ran his hand nervously through his shaggy blond hair. “I haven’t seen you around.”
He shrugged before stuffing his hands in his pockets. His eyes shifted nervously to the target as he started to rock on his heels. “Been busy. There’s a war coming you know.”
“So I’ve been told.”
“Glad to see you’re still deadly with that thing,” he said glancing at her bow.
She didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what she expected from him. What had once been simple and easy, was horribly awkward and uncomfortable now. “Yeah.”
“How have you been?”
“I’ve been better,” she admitted unable to lie to him. “You?”
“Possible imminent death and destruction aside, I’ve actually been doing better.”
Hope surged through her. “Really?”
His smile widened. “Yeah, really. I’m not looking forward to going back into that palace, but I am looking forward to getting some revenge.”
“You’re not going to do anything crazy are you?” she inquired worriedly.
“Me? Nah, I’m not angry enough for something like that anymore, but it will be nice to free some others.”
“It will,” Aria agreed. She wanted to ask if he would ever stop being so angry at her, but the words froze in her throat. She couldn’t bring herself to utter them, mostly because she was frightened of the answer. “I’m glad you’re doing better. I know it was awful for you in there.”
His smile had fallen away; he was staring at the target again. “It’s been an awful time for all of us recently. Hopefully that will change soon.”
“Yes,” she whispered, knowing it wasn’t going to change for her.
“Are you happy Aria?”
If he had asked her that question four hours ago, she would have given him a resounding yes, that despite everything that was going on, she was happy. She was frightened of the future and the possibility of losing a loved one, but happy. “Yes.” It was the first lie in the web she was now creating.
“That’s good.” He rocked back on his heels again. The awkward tension was enough to make her want to scream. “I’m sorry about what happened the last time we saw each other. I lost my temper, I never meant for that to happen.”
“It’s ok.”
He shook his head, his forehead furrowed as his clear blue eyes turned turbulent. “It’s not ok. I still feel this is a situation you shouldn’t be in. That’s he too old for you, too different, it’s not natural…”
“Max,” she whispered. Her heart ached and her body felt as if it were starting to shred into a thousand pieces. She knew they were all valid points, but to her they had never mattered before. They certainly didn’t matter after the conversation she’d just had with Jack and Ashby. She couldn’t stand here and listen to even more reasons why she shouldn’t be with Braith, why she couldn’t be with him.
He seemed to sense this as he nodded slowly. “But even so, what I did never should have happened. I could have killed you. I feel awful about it, it really made me rethink everything, made me look at what I was becoming and I didn’t like that person.”
“You’re a good person Max. You had some terrible things happen to you, any person would be different after.”
“I suppose.”
“It’s my fault. You were in there because of me…”
“No. I could have escaped being caught; I chose to go in there with you. I chose to let myself be captured. That’s not your fault.”
“But it didn’t go the way you expected.”
He finally looked at her again, finally met her eyes head on; finally seemed to see her for the first time in awhile. “Does anything?”
She pondered that for a moment. “No.”
“I thought I’d be the one that rescued you, but then neither of us knew what Jack was, and I honestly didn’t know how awful it was going to be in there, how drained I would be.” He shied away from her touch as she squeezed his arm. Feeling as if she had been slapped Aria went to pull away but he seized hold of her hand. “It’s not you; it’s been awhile since someone touched me. I don’t like being touched much since being in there.”
For the first time since she had spoken with Jack, she felt something else unraveling inside of her, something strong and determined. She realized then that no matter how devastated she was, no matter how much she was going to hurt Braith, it was the right course to take. No one should have to go through what Max and countless others had been forced to go through. “What happened to you in there, it will never happen again, to anyone,
if we win.”
Max’s smile was tremulous. “That’s the only thing keeping me going.”
“Max…”
“It’s ok Aria.” His eyes had become distant again. His fingers tightened briefly around hers before he slowly released her hand. “I’ve come to accept it. I can see that you love him, that he loves you. I’ll move on, I didn’t think I would, but there are things I never thought I would get over and I’m already starting to come to terms with them. I’ll get over this too.”
“You will,” she assured him. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“I know. You tried to tell me how you felt; I just didn’t want to hear it. It’s my fault too.” He nodded toward the target. “How bout we forget some of this for a bit and I kick the crap out of you in some target practice.”
“As if,” she snorted, chuckling as she handed her bow over to him. For the first time a semblance of normalcy settled over them as he grabbed an arrow from her and stepped to the line she had created in the dirt.
***
Braith followed her laughter around the corner of the building. The sound of it caused his lips to twitch involuntarily upward. Stepping around the corner of the house, he froze at the sight of Aria standing in front of Max, smiling smugly as she handed the bow over to him. For a moment Braith was too stunned to move, and then rage tore through him. Beside him, Jack groaned.
“I thought you were watching her!” Braith snarled.
“Braith.”
His brother went to grab his arm but he was already storming across the field toward them. Aria turned toward him, the smile on her mouth froze in place, apprehension flashed across her features but she remained otherwise immobile. Max dropped the bow to his side, but Braith was well aware that the boy would like nothing more than to fire one of those arrows into his heart.