“You may call me Friar Daniel, my dear maiden.”
“And I am Gisela Mueller, from Hagenheim.”
He bowed to her. “God’s flower,” he murmured.
“Thank you again, Friar Daniel, for so kindly coming back for us. How did you know we needed help?”
“I saw a glimpse of your face through the trees. From the man’s brusque manner, he didn’t want me to see you, and from your expression … well, you didn’t look like you belonged with that bunch of rough, bearded men. I came back around through the woods and observed your camp, saw that you and this noble knight were captives, and I decided to wait until an opportune moment to help.”
“You are very brave, Friar Daniel. I shall never forget your kindness, and I’m sure Val — Lord Hamlin — is very grateful as well.” Valten. Where was he now? He could so easily get caught. He could step on a twig and wake up the guard. Perhaps Malbert, or Ruexner or Lew, had already awakened and seen that she and Valten had escaped. Perhaps they were watching the horses, waiting for Valten to come for Sieger. If they caught him … Gisela couldn’t bear to think what they might do to him without her there to defend him. She should go back and help him. He would never leave her, and she wouldn’t leave him either. She would give herself up to Ruexner if it would save Valten.
“You are worried about him, aren’t you?”
Tears pricked Gisela’s eyes. She nodded.
“Shall we pray for him?”
New gratitude welled inside her. “Yes, please.”
He lifted the crucifix around his neck and clasped it between his hands and bowed his head. Gisela clasped her hands and bowed her head as well, and she concentrated on the friar’s quiet words.
“O God our Father, we extol you. Your name alone is holy, and all your ways are holy and just. I thank you that you sent me to aid this woman and this man, and I ask that you look down in your infinite mercy and save the young man, the Earl of Hamlin, who is a noble knight, no doubt in your service and with a heart to save young damsels in distress. Give him the furtiveness to accomplish his goal and come back to us. Keep him safe, O God. We put our lives in your hands. No one can take us out of your hand, Almighty God. Strike your enemies with blindness so that they cannot see, and give us your servants supernatural speed and stamina to —”
“Amen.”
Gisela turned to see Valten just behind her with Sieger beside him. Gisela threw her arms around him. “Thank you, God.”
Valten squeezed her shoulder, then pulled away. “We must go.” He turned to Friar Daniel. “My good friar, do you know of a place to hide, a place big enough for my horse?”
“I do indeed,” Friar Daniel responded. “I grew up nearby, and a cave I used to play in as a boy is but two miles away. I only hope we can find it in the dark.”
“Lead on, Friar.”
They had not walked far when Valten stopped Gisela with a hand on her arm. “Come. You ride.” Without waiting for an answer, he placed his hands on her waist and lifted her onto Sieger’s back, letting her sit sidesaddle. He took up Sieger’s reins and followed Friar Daniel and his donkey.
Gisela shivered, probably from a combination of the excitement of escaping from Ruexner and his men and the cold night air, which was unusually cold for this time of year. There was nothing for her to do but try to keep her seat on Sieger’s back and feel comforted by how strong Valten looked, with his broad, muscular shoulders and his large, capable hands. Then she noticed the crossbow hanging from his shoulder by a leather strap. He must have taken it from Ruexner’s henchman. The sight made her feel even more comforted.
Just then, Gisela heard wolves howling in the distance. She shivered again. Thank you, God, for Valten’s safety, and for how you will save us from all danger.
Valten was glad he’d been able to steal a weapon, even if it was a crossbow, which was definitely not his preferred weapon. If they could only avoid getting caught by Ruexner, he could make it back to Hagenheim with Gisela where she would be safe. Then he could gather his father’s knights and soldiers and go teach Ruexner a lesson he’d never forget.
But for now, Valten had never felt so ill equipped. Without a sword, he felt exposed and vulnerable. If a wolf attacked, he would have one shot, and one shot only. If he missed, or if there were more than one, he wouldn’t have time to reload. But he would do whatever it took to protect Gisela, even if he had to take that wolf apart with his bare hands.
Another problem he would never admit was that he was in a lot of pain, and still dizzy, from the beating he’d taken from Ruexner and his men.
God, are you trying to humble me? Because it’s working. If you’re trying to show me that I need your help, I’m seeing it. I want to rescue Gisela in my own strength, but right now I’ll just be thankful to get her to safety any way that comes about. Even if it came in the form of a round-faced friar.
He’d actually fallen asleep waiting and watching for the guard to fall asleep. The friar had not only saved him and Gisela, but now he was leading them to a cave, a hiding place Valten could neither have known about nor found. Though his initial reaction had been frustration that a friar could do something for Gisela that he couldn’t do, he’d better humble himself and thank God for sending him. He should not and would not argue with God about his mode of provision.
Valten and the friar continued walking for about half an hour before Valten began to wonder if they were lost. The forest seemed to go on forever, and all the trees looked alike. It was so dark that it was hard to distinguish anything out of the ordinary, and the moon was sometimes blocked out altogether by the dense foliage. He glanced back at Gisela every now and then. Her shoulders drooped, but whenever he looked at her she gave him a brave smile. Even with her blonde hair falling around her face and shoulders in a tangled mass, she was just as beautiful to him now as she had been at the ball.
The friar turned and said, “We’re not far now.” As he rounded a slight hill, overgrown with small trees and bushes, they faced a gaping hole in the side of the hill. “Be careful. It slopes downward sharply, and the floor is wet and slippery.”
Valten turned and grasped Gisela around the waist to help her down. She placed her hands on his shoulders and he set her on her feet, but slowly. After all, when one has a pleasant task to do, there’s no reason to rush it.
He wrapped his fingers around Gisela’s small hand and entered the dark cave, unable to see more than three feet in front of them. He had been inside the secret tunnel that ran under the town wall around Hagenheim Castle many times, but he liked the idea of being inside a cave created by nature — God’s own hiding place.
The rocky floor was indeed wet, and he could hear water dripping somewhere ahead. The open mouth of the cave was like a giant swallowing them up as they were plunged into complete darkness. The floor of the cave was uneven, and became quite steep as they continued farther into the darkness. It was a strange feeling not to be able to see where he was going. Gisela held on to his arm in the blackness of the cavern.
“We’d better stop here,” the friar said. “There are probably bats farther in, and we don’t want to fall into a hole.”
That sounded like sage advice. Valten patted Sieger, then opened his saddlebag. Ruexner and his men had plundered it, but there was still one blanket attached to the back of his saddle.
“We shall try to sleep now.” Valten’s voice sounded hollow as it bounced off the walls and sank into the dark hole at the back of the cave, from which it never returned. He directed his voice toward where he thought the friar was standing. “We are greatly indebted to you, Friar, for helping us escape from Ruexner and his men, and for leading us to this cave. I am sorry I do not have the means to reward you for your act of bravery. You will always have a bed and a place at our table at Hagenheim Castle.”
“That is very kind of you, noble knight.”
“And tomorrow you may go on your way and never mention that you met us.”
“Oh, but perhaps I can b
e of further assistance to you. I have nowhere particular that I need to go.”
He wasn’t sure what further assistance the friar might be offering, but he said to Gisela, “We may as well stay in this cave for a day or two and hope Ruexner and his men search for us elsewhere. My hope is that they will think we’ve taken the road back to Hagenheim.”
“You will need someone to stay with you,” the friar said. “I could not leave an unmarried lord and lady alone together.”
So that was the further assistance he had been talking about. “That is unnecessary. I shall marry the lady as soon as we get back to Hagenheim.”
He expected Gisela to have something to say about his statement, but she was silent. She did let go of his arm.
“That is well and good, my lord, but I believe I shall stay all the same.”
“As you wish, brother friar.”
“I have an extra blanket. Please take it.”
Valten took the friar’s offered blanket and handed Gisela his blanket.
He and Gisela bumped into each other several times as they laid their blankets near each other on the hard floor of the cave. When they lay down, the silence was broken only by the dripping of water in the distance, which echoed as if it was falling down a great hole. He only hoped some light would come in through the entrance in the morning. Otherwise, he wasn’t even sure he knew in which direction was the entrance.
He closed his eyes and tried to sleep.
She couldn’t understand why Valten’s words, I shall marry the lady as soon as we get back to Hagenheim, should make her cry, but she found herself remembering them when she lay down, and the tears flowed into her hairline, chilling her in the dark cave, as she positioned herself facing Valten. At least, she thought she was facing Valten. It was impossible to tell. She wanted to reach out and touch him and make sure he was there, but she also didn’t want him to think she wanted him to take advantage of the darkness and her nearness.
She rarely ever cried anymore, probably because she always told herself she didn’t care, and that stopped them. But she couldn’t say now that she didn’t care.
Was Valten only willing to marry her to save her reputation? The thought of marrying him was wonderful, but it filled her soul with pain to think of him marrying her only out of a sense of duty. She had hoped that he had begun to care for her. But the way he had said the words, so coldly, instead of tenderly, or expressing love for her, stating his intent to Friar Daniel as if she wasn’t even there … It was like a dagger in her heart.
Was she being foolish? Perhaps. She only knew she wanted his undivided love, and she couldn’t bear him marrying her out of pity.
Ava had once told her, “Never let yourself fall in love with someone who doesn’t love you. Or at least don’t tell them you love them, whatever you do.” It had seemed like wise counsel. A person who didn’t love you could use the knowledge of your love against you.
With Friar Daniel here, Valten would have no reason to marry her. She would tell him as soon as possible that she would not hold him to his statement if he was only being chivalrous.
She tried hard not to sniff and wiped her nose with her hand, hoping no one heard her crying, and closed her eyes to sleep.
Chapter
23
Gisela awoke to someone moving beside her. She sucked in a quick breath and backed away. “Ow!” Her head hit something solid behind her.
“Are you all right?” Valten’s voice came from very close by, but now her head was throbbing.
Gisela stifled a moan; she’d apparently hit her head on the wall of the cave.
“Give me your hand.”
Gisela reached out and Valten helped her up. It was disorienting to be in the pitch-black cave. She lost her footing and stumbled face-first against his chest.
He put his arms around her and held her so tight she couldn’t have broken away from him if she’d wanted to. And resting her cheek against his warm chest, she most definitely did not want to.
She sensed and heard, rather than saw, Friar Daniel loading his things on his donkey’s back a few feet away from them.
Valten’s arms were gentle and warm around her shoulders. His breath fanned her hair as he whispered, “Why were you crying last night?”
“Oh. I wasn’t …” She wanted to say she wasn’t crying, but that would be a lie.
“Are you afraid?”
“A little.” Let him think she was simply afraid. She tightened her arms around him, allowing herself to imprint this moment of warmth and tenderness in her memory forever. He was so solid, so safe. And so far above her as the heir of Hagenheim.
She took a deep breath and plunged in. “I know you said you would marry me when we go back to Hagenheim, but I don’t want you to think you have to marry me.”
“What do you mean?” Valten’s hands went stiff. He pulled away slightly. “I didn’t say I had to marry you.”
Was he angry? She whispered, “I just don’t want you to feel forced to marry me.”
He pulled away even more. “I don’t feel forced. I want to marry you.” But the tone of his voice had an edge to it that didn’t sound like a person in love. She couldn’t see his expression, as it was too dark, but she was fairly sure he was wearing his rock-hard, square-jawed, lowered-brow look.
She let her arms drop and felt the tears well up again behind her eyes. Trying to keep them from flowing, she bent to pick up her blanket. She rolled it up then handed it to Valten, but he grabbed her arm. His voice came from mere inches away. “Are you sad because you don’t want to marry me?”
“Of course not. No, no.” She didn’t want him to feel hurt. Still, this was not the way she wanted him to ask her to marry him. But it was all so foolish of her! He shouldn’t be marrying her at all. He should marry the king’s daughter, or a duke’s daughter, not her.
“We shall speak of this again.” He took her hand and led her and Sieger toward the entrance.
When they were close enough to the entrance that she could see Valten’s face, she noted that he looked grave. “I think we need to stay close to the cave, as we are still near Ruexner’s camp. They may find us here, but if we leave, I think it’s even more likely they will find us. If we stay a day and a night here, we might have a better chance of evading them.”
“Then I shall stay with you also.” Friar Daniel lifted his chin, as if he had just volunteered for a dangerous mission. Which he very well might have if Ruexner caught them.
Gisela didn’t think Valten looked happy, whether about the friar staying with them or about something else, she didn’t know.
Valten took several minutes to make sure no one was around before coming back inside. Gisela and Friar Daniel each went out, in opposite directions, to tend to their personal needs, but he instructed them not to go far. Then Valten took Sieger out for a drink and to fetch water from a small stream they’d passed last night on their way to the cave.
Back inside, Friar Daniel and Gisela were chatting away.
“Do you think God has a different purpose for every person,” Gisela asked, “or is his purpose the same for everyone?”
Friar Daniel wrinkled his forehead, not noticing that Valten was holding out his flask of water until Valten nudged his shoulder.
“Oh, thank you, brother knight.” Friar Daniel smiled up at him from his seat on the cave floor. The man was always smiling.
Friar Daniel went on. “Some things are the same for everyone. God wants us all to strive to grow more like Jesus, to become holy as he is holy, but God also has a specific purpose for each person. How could it not be so? Everyone in a village cannot be a baker, because who would then make the candles or shoe the horses or grow the food? God says we are like a body. ‘The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you.” ‘ “
“Does the Bible say that?”
“Oh, yes, and it says, ‘Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of i
t.’ Just as the villagers are part of a village and have different tasks, we all have tasks to do for the Lord God.” He smiled, looking rather foolish, with his round, cheeky face and the bald circle on his head.
Valten felt a twinge of envy that the friar seemed so sure of his purpose. To envy the man was absurd. But when had Valten ever felt as if he was doing what he was supposed to be doing, that he was fulfilling a purpose? He had once thought his purpose was to train to be the best at jousting and sword fighting and all kinds of combat. But it had been a long time since he’d thought about what God might want him to do. He’d been so focused on being the best, on winning recognition for himself.
He rubbed his face, feeling the itch of three days’ growth of beard. He didn’t want to dwell on such things, to realize he’d lost his usual confidence. With no weapon except a crossbow and no real plan, nothing to do but wait, his mood grew darker, especially with Gisela telling him he didn’t have to marry her. What did she mean by that?
“My dear,” the friar was saying to Gisela, “I’m sure God has a purpose for you. You must realize that God loves you and that He places great worth on you. Do not doubt it. If you ask for it in prayer, I am sure God will give you direction and a purpose.”
A purpose for Gisela? Valten wasn’t sure when it had started, but he had begun to imagine her married to him, having his children, and living at Hagenheim Castle with him. But what if God had another purpose for Gisela, one that didn’t include him?
Why did the friar have to stir up these disturbing thoughts?
Friar Daniel stood and drew something out of his saddlebag. “I wish to share with you. ‘Such as I have, I give you.’ “ He handed Gisela and Valten a small roll of bread. “I must say my prayers, for I never eat until I’ve prayed at least half an hour.” Still smiling, the friar made his way farther into the cave and disappeared in the darkness.
Gisela looked up at him, her eyebrows raised. She looked sweet enough to … kiss, but he probably shouldn’t, not with the way she kept telling him he didn’t have to marry her. Did she not want to be his wife?