LETTER VIII.
FROM PISO TO FAUSTA.
Marcus and Lucilia are inconsolable. Their grief, I fear, will belasting as it is violent. They have no resource but to plunge intoaffairs and drive away memory by some active and engrossing occupation.Yet they cannot always live abroad; they must at times return tothemselves and join the company of their own thoughts. And then, memoryis not to be put off; at such moments this faculty seems to constitutethe mind more than any other. It becomes the mind itself. The past risesup in spite of ourselves, and overshadows the present. Whether itsscenes have been prosperous or afflictive, but especially if they havebeen shameful, do they present themselves with all the vividness of theobjects before us and the passing hour, and infinitely increase ourpains. We in vain attempt to escape. We are prisoners in the hands of agiant. To forget is not in our power. The will is impotent. The effortto forget is often but an effort to remember. Fast as we fly, so fastthe enemy of our peace pursues. Memory is a companion who never leavesus--or never leaves us long. It is the true Nemesis. Tartarean regionshave no worse woes, nor the Hell of Christians, than memory inflictsupon those who have done evil. My friends struggle in vain. They havenot done evil indeed, but they have suffered it. The sorest calamitythat afflicts mortals has overtaken them; their choicest jewel has beentorn from them; and they can no more drown the memory of their loss thanthey can take that faculty itself and tear it from their souls. Comfortcannot come from that quarter. It can come only from being re-possessedof that which has been lost hereafter, and from enjoying the hope ofthat felicity now. See how Marcus writes. After much else, he says,
'I miss you, Piso, and the conversations which we had together. I knownot how it is, but your presence acted as a restraint upon my hot andimpatient temper. Since your departure I have been little less than mad,and so far from being of service to Lucilia, she has been compelled tomoderate her own grief in the hope to assuage mine. I have done nothingbut rave, and curse my evil fortune. And can anything else be lookedfor? How should a man be otherwise than exasperated when the very thinghe loves best in the wide universe is, without a moment's warning,snatched away from him? A man falls into a passion if his seal isstolen, or his rings, or his jewels, if his dwelling burns down, or hisslaves run away or die by some pestilence. And why should he not muchmore when the providence of the gods, or the same power whatever it maybe that gave as a child, tears it from us again; and just then when wehave so grown into it that it is like hewing us in two? I can believe innothing but capricious chance. We live by chance, and so we die. Suchevents are otherwise inexplicable. For what reason can by the mostingenious be assigned for giving life for a few years to a being likeGallus, and who then, before he is more than just past the threshold oflife, before a single power of his nature has put itself forth, but atthe moment when he is bound to his parents by ties of love which neverafterwards would be stronger--is struck dead? We can give no account ofit. It is irreconcilable with the hypothesis of an intelligent and goodProvidence. It has all the features of chance upon it. A god could nothave done it unless he had been the god of Tartarus. Dark Pluto might,or the avenging Furies, were they supreme. But away with all suchdreams! The slaves who were his proper attendants, have been scourgedand crucified. That at first gave me some relief; but already I repentit. So it is with me; I rush suddenly upon what at the moment I thinkright, and then as suddenly think and feel that I have done wrong, andso suffer. I see and experience nothing but suffering, whichever way Iturn. Truly we are riddles. Piso, you cannot conceive of my loss. It wasour only child--and the only one we shall ever know. I wish that Ibelieved in the gods that I might curse them.'
And much more in the same frantic way. Time will blunt his grief; but itwill bring him I fear no other or better comfort. He hopes for oblivionof his loss; but that can never be. He may cease to grieve as he grievesnow; but he can never cease to remember. I trust to see him again erelong, and turn his thoughts into a better channel.
* * * * *
I did not forget to keep my promise to the wife of Macer. In truth I hadlong regarded it as essential to our safety almost, certainly to oursuccess, that this man, and others of the same character, should berestrained in some way in their course of mistaken zeal; and had longintended to use what influence to that end I might possess. Probus hadpromised to accompany me, and do what in him lay, to rescue religionfrom this peril at the hands of one of her best friends. He joined metoward the evening of the same day on which I had seen the wife ofMacer, and we took our way toward his dwelling.
It was already past the hour of twilight when we reached the part of thecity where Macer dwells, and entered the ruins among which his cabinstands. These ruins are those of extensive and magnificent bathsdestroyed a long time ago, and to this day remaining as the flames leftthem. At the rear of them, far from the street and concealed from it byarches and columns and fragments of wall, we were directed by the raysof a lamp streaming from a window, to the place we sought. We wound ourway among these fallen or still standing masses of stone, whichfrequently hid from us the object of our search, till, as we foundourselves near the spot, we were arrested by the sound of a single voiceuttering itself with vehemence and yet solemnity. We paused, but couldnot distinguish the words used; but the same conviction possessed us asto its cause. It was Macer at prayer. We moved nearer, so that, withoutdisturbing the family, we might still make ourselves of the number ofhearers. His voice, loud and shrill, echoed among the ruins and conveyedto us, though at some distance, every word that he uttered. But for thenoise of carriages and passengers it would have penetrated even to thestreets. The words we caught were such as these--
--'If they hear thee not, O Lord, nor reverence thy messengers, but denythee and turn upon those whom thou sendest the lip of scorn and the eyeof pride, and will none of their teachings, and so do despite to thespirit of thy grace, and crucify the Lord afresh, then do thou, O Lord,come upon them as once upon the cities of the plain in the times ofthine anger. Let fire from Heaven consume them. Let the earth yawn andswallow them up. Tear up the foundations of this modern Babylon; levelto the earth her proud walls; and let her stand for a reproach, and ahissing, and a scorn; through all generations; so that men shall say asthey pass by, lo! the fate of them that held to their idols rather thanserve the living God; their proud palaces are now dwellings of dragons,and over her ruins the trees of the forest are now spreading theirbranches. But yet, O Lord, may this never be; but may a way of escape bemade for them through thy mercy. And to this end may we thy servants, towhom thou hast given the sword of the spirit, gird it upon our sides,lift up our voices and spare not, day and night, morning and evening, inthe public place, and at the corners of the streets; in all places, andin every presence, proclaiming the good news of salvation. Let notcowardice seal our lips. Whether before gentile or jew, emperor orslave, may we speak as becomes the Lord's anointed. Warm the hearts ofthe cold and dead; put fire into them; fire from thine own altar. Theworld, O Lord, and its honors and vanities, seduce thine own servantsfrom thee. They are afraid, they are cold, they are dead, and the enemylifts himself up and triumphs. For this we would mourn and lament. Giveus, O Lord, the courage and the zeal of thine early apostles andteachers so that no fear of tortures and death may make us traitors toChrist and thee.'
It was a long time that he went on in this strain, inveighing, with heatand violence, against all who withdrew their hand from the work, orabated their zeal. When he had ceased, and we stood waiting to judgewhether the service were wholly ended, the voices of the whole familyapparently, were joined together in a hymn of praise--Macer's now moregentle and subdued, as if to hear himself the tones of the children andof his wife who accompanied him. The burden of the hymn was also aprayer for a spirit of fidelity and a temper of patience, in the causeof truth and Christ. It was worship in the highest sense, and nonewithin the dwelling could have joined more heartily than we did whostood without.
When it was ended, and w
ith it evidently the evening service, weapproached, and knocked for admittance. Macer appeared holding a lightabove his head, and perceiving who his guests were, gave us cordialwelcome, at the same time showing us into his small apartment andplacing stools for our accommodation. The room in which we were wassmall and vaulted, and built of stone in the most solid manner. I saw atonce that it was one of the smaller rooms of the ancient bath, whichhad escaped entire destruction and now served as a comfortablehabitation. A door on the inner side appeared to connect it with anumber of similar apartments. A table in the centre and a few stools, ashelf on which were arranged the few articles which they possessed bothfor cooking and eating their food, constituted the furniture of theroom. In the room next beyond I could see pallets of straw laid upon thefloor, which served for beds. Macer, his wife, and six children,composed the family then present; the two elder sons being yet absent attheir work, in the shop of Demetrius. The mother held at her breast aninfant of a year or more; one of three years sprang again upon hisfather's lap, as he resumed his seat after our entrance, whence he hadapparently been just dislodged; the rest, sitting in obscure parts ofthe room, were at first scarcely visible. The wife of Macer expressedheartily her pleasure at seeing us, and said even more by her flushedand animated countenance than by her words. The severe countenance ofMacer himself relaxed and gave signs of satisfaction.
'I owe you, Piso,' he said, 'many thanks for mercies shown to my wifeand my little ones here, and I am glad to see you among us. We are farapart enough as the world measures such things, but in Christ we areone. At such times as these, when the Prince of Darkness rules, we oughtif ever to draw toward each other, that so we may make better our commondefence. I greet you as a brother--I trust to love you as one.'
I told him that nothing should be wanting on my part toward a free andfriendly intercourse; that from all I had heard of him I had conceived ahigh regard for him, and owed him more thanks for what he had done inbehalf of our religion, than he could me for any services I had renderedhim.
'Me?' said he, and his head fell upon his bosom. 'What have I done forChrist to deserve the thanks of any? I have preached and I have prayed;I have opposed heresies and errors; I have wrestled with the enemies andcorrupters of our faith within our own body and without; but the fruitseems nothing. The gentile is still omnipotent--heresy and error stillabound.'
'Yes, Macer,' I replied, 'that is certainly so, and may be so for manyyears to come, but still we are gaining. He who can remember twentyyears can count a great increase. After the testimony borne by themartyrs of the Decian persecution to their faith, and all the proof theygave of sincere attachment to the doctrine of Christ, crowds haveentered the church, an hundred for every one whose blood then flowed.'
'And now,' said Macer, his eye kindling with its wild fires, 'the churchis dead! The truest prayer that the Christian can now offer is, that itwould please God to try us again as it were by fire! We slumber, Piso!The Christians are not now the Nazarites they were in the first age ofthe church. Divisions have crept in; tares have been sown with thewheat, and have come up, and are choking the true plants of God. I knownot but that the signs of terror which are scaring the heavens oughtrather to be hailed as tokens of love. Better a thousand perish on therack or by the axe, than that the church itself faint away and die.'
'It will not do,' said Probus, 'always to depend upon such remedies ofour sloth and heresies. Surely it were better to prosper in some otherand happier way. All I think we can say of persecution, and of theoppositions of our enemies, is this, that if it be in the providence ofGod that they cannot be avoided, we have cause to bless him that theirissue is good rather than evil; that they serve as tests by which thegenuine is tried and proved; that they give the best and highesttestimony to the world that man can give, of his sincerity; that theyserve to bind together into one compact and invincible phalanx thedisciples of our common master, however in many things they may divideand separate. But, were it not better, if we could attain an equal goodwithout the suffering?'
'I believe that to be impossible,' said Macer. 'Since Jesus began hisministry, persecution has been the rod that has been laid upon thechurch without sparing, and the fruit has been abundant. Without it,like these foolish children, we might run riot in all iniquity.'
'I do not say that the rod has not been needed,' answered Probus, 'northat good has not ensued; but only, that it would be better, wiser, andhappier, to reach the same good without the rod; just as it is betterwhen your children, without chastisement, fulfil your wishes and performtheir tasks. We hope and trust that our children will grow up to suchvirtue, that they will no longer need the discipline of suffering tomake them better. Ought we not to look and pray for a period to arrivein the history of the church, when men shall no longer need to be lashedand driven, but shall of themselves discern what is best and cleave toit?'
'That might indeed be better,' replied the other; 'but the time is notcome for it yet. The church I say is corrupt, and it cries out foranother purging. Christians are already lording it over one another. Thebishop of Rome sets himself up, as a lord, over subjects. A Roman Caesarwalks it not more proudly. What with his robes of state, and his seat ofgold, and his golden rod, and his altar set out with vessels of gold andsilver, and his long train of menials and subordinates, poor simpleMacer, who learned of Christ, as he hopes, is at a loss to discern thefollower of the lowly Jesus, but takes Felix, the Christian servant, forsome Fronto of a Heathen temple! Were the power mine, as the will is,never would I stay for Aurelian, but my own arm should sweep from theplaces they pollute the worst enemies of the Saviour. Did Jesus die thatFelix might flaunt his peacock's feathers in the face of Rome?'
'We cannot hope, Macer,' answered Probus, 'to grow up to perfection atonce. I see and bewail the errors at which you point as well as you. Butif, to remove them, we bring down the heavy arm of Rome upon ourheads--the remedy may prove worse than the disease.'
'No. That could not be! Let those who with open eyes abuse the gifts ofGod, perish! If this faith cannot be maintained undefiled by Heathenadditions, let it perish!'
'But God dealeth not so with us,' continued Probus; 'he beareth long andpatiently. We are not destroyed because in the first years of our lifewe do not rise to all virtue, but are spared to fourscore. Ought we notto manifest a like patience and forbearance? By waiting patiently weshall see our faults, and one by one correct them. There is still somereason and discernment left among us. We are not all fools and blind.And the faults which we correct ourselves, by our own action, and theconviction of our own minds acting freely and voluntarily, will be moretruly corrected, than if we are but frightened away from them for a timeby the terrors of the Roman sword. I think, Macer, and so thinks Piso,that, far from seeking to inflame the common mind, and so drawing uponus the evils which are now with reason apprehended, we should rather aimto ward them off.'
'Never!' cried Macer with utmost indignation. 'Shall the soldier of thecross shrink--'
'No, Macer, he need not shrink. Let him stand armed in panoply complete;prompt to serve, willing to die; but let him not wantonly provoke anenemy who may not only destroy him, that were a little thing, but, inthe fury of the onset, thousands with him, and, perhaps, with them thevery faith for which they die! The Christian is not guiltlesswho--though it be in the cause of Christ--rushes upon unnecessary death.You, Macer, are not only a Christian and soldier of Jesus Christ, but aman, who, having received life from the Creator, have no right wantonlyto throw it away. You are a husband, and you are bound to live for yourwife;--these are your children, and you are bound to live for them.'
'He,' said Macer, solemnly, 'who hateth not father and mother and wifeand children and brethren and sister, yea and his own life also, cannotbe my disciple.'
'Yes,' replied Probus, 'that is true; we are to be ready and willing tosuffer for Christ and truth; but not to seek it. He who seeks martyrdomis no martyr. Selfish passions have then mingled their impure currentwith that of love to God, and the
sacrifice is not without spot andblemish. Jesus did not so; nor his first followers. When the Lord waspersecuted in one city, he staid not there to inflame it more and more;he fled to another. Paul and Peter and Barnabas stood ever for theirrights; they suffered not wrong willingly. When the ark of truth isintrusted to few hands, they must bear it forward boldly, but with care,else are they at a blow cut off, and the ark with its precious burdenborne away and lost--or miracles alone can rescue it. But when the timecomes that no prudence or care will avail, then they may not refuse theissue, but must show that life is nothing in comparison of truth andGod.'
'Probus,' said Macer, 'I like not your timid counsels. 'Tis not by suchthat Christ's cause shall ever advance, or that period ever come whenhe, the long-looked and waited for, shall descend, and the millenialreign begin. Life is nothing to me and less than nothing. I hold it asdirt and dross. And if by throwing it away I can add such a commentaryto my preaching as shall strike a single Pagan heart, I shall not havedied in vain; and if the blood that shall flow from these veins, mayserve but as a purge, to carry off the foul humors that now fester andrage in the body of the church, thrice happy shall I be to see it flow.And for these--let them be as the women and children of other times, andhold not back when their master calls. Arria! do thou set before theeSt. Blandina, and if the Lord let thee be as her, thou wilt have causeto bless his name.'
'Never, Macer, would I shrink from any trial to which the Lord in hiswisdom might call me--that you know. But has not Probus uttered a truth,when he says, that we are not innocent, and never glorious, when weseek death? that he who seeks martyrdom is no martyr? Listen, Macer, tothe wisdom of Probus and the noble Piso. Did you not promise that youwould patiently hear them?'
'Woman--I have heard them--their words are naught, stark naught, orworse. Where would have been the blessed gospel at this hour, had itbeen committed to such counsels? Even under Nero would it have died forwant of those who were willing to die for it. I am a soldier of thecross, whose very vocation it is to fight and die. And if I may but die,blessed Jesus, for thee! then may I hope that thou wilt deal mercifullywith thy servant at thy judgment-seat. I hear thy voice ever sounding inmy ear, reproving me for my cowardice. Have patience with me, and I willgive thee all. And if labor, and torture, and death, would but cancelsin!--But alas! even they may not suffice.'
'Then, dear father,' said one of his daughters who had drawn near andseated herself at his knee, while the others had gathered round, 'thenwill we add ourselves to the sacrifice.'
'Would you?' said Macer--in an absent, musing way--as if some otherthought were occupying him.
Thinking that his love of his children, evidently a very strongaffection in him, might be made to act as a restraint, I said, 'that Ifeared he greatly exposed his little family to unnecessary danger.Already had his dwelling been once assailed, and the people were nowripe for any violence. This group of little ones can ill encounter arude and furious mob.'
'They can die, can they not?' said Macer. 'Is that difficult, orimpossible? If the Lord need them, they are his. I can ask no happierlot for them than that by death they may glorify God. And what is it todie so, more than in another way? Let them die in their beds, and whomdo they benefit? They die then to themselves, and no one is the gainer;let them die by the sword of Varus, or by the stones of the populace,and then they become themselves stones in the foundation of that templeof God, of which Jesus is the chief corner-stone, and they are gloriousforever. What say you, Cicer, will you die for Christ?'
The little fellow hid his head in his father's bosom at this suddenappeal, but soon drew it out and said,
'I would rather die for you, father.'
'Ah!' said Macer, 'how am I punished in my children! Cicer, would younot die for Christ?'
'I would die for him if you wish it.'
'Macer,' said Probus, 'do you not see how God has bound you and thisfamily into one? and he surely requires you not to separate yourself,their natural protector, from them forever; still less, to involve themin all the sufferings which, taking the course you do, may come uponthem at any hour.'
'Probus! their death would give me more pleasure than their life, dyingfor Christ. I love them now and here, fondly as ever parent loved hischildren,--but what is now, and here? Nothing. The suffering of an houror of a moment joins us together again, where suffering shall be nomore, and death no more. To-morrow! yes, to-morrow! would I that thewrath of these idol-worshippers might be turned against us. Rome must beroused; she sleeps the sleep of death; and the church sleeps it too;both need that they who are for the Lord should stand forth, and, notwaiting to be attacked, themselves assail the enemy, who need but to beassailed with the zeal and courage of men, who were once to be found inthe church, to be driven at all points.'
'But, father,' said the daughter who had spoken before, 'otherChristians think not so. They believe for the most part, as I hear, withProbus and Piso, that on no account should we provoke the gentiles, orgive them cause of complaint against us; they think that to do so wouldgreatly harm us; that our duty is to go on the even tenor of our way,worshipping God after our own doctrine, and in our own manner, andclaiming and exercising all our rights as citizens, but abstaining fromevery act that might rouse their anger, or needlessly irritatethem--irritated, necessarily, almost beyond bearing, by the wide andincreasing prosperity of our faith, and the daily falling away of thetemple worshippers. Would it be right, dearest father, to do that whichothers approved not, and the effect of which might be, not only to drawdown evil upon your and our heads, but upon thousands of others? Wecannot separate ourselves from our brethren; if one suffer all willsuffer--'
'AElia, my daughter, there is a judge within the breast, whom I am boundto obey rather than any other counsellor, either man or woman. I cannotbelieve, because another believes, a certain truth. Neither can I act ina certain way because others hold it their duty to act so. I must obeythe inward voice, and no other. If I abandon this, I am lost--I am onthe desert without sun, moon or stars to guide me. All the powers ofthe earth could not bribe nor drag me from that which I hold to be thetrue order of conduct for me; shown by the finger of God to be such.'
'But, father,' continued the daughter, pursuing her object, 'are we nottoo lately entered among the Christians to take upon us a course whichthey condemn? It is but yesterday that we were among the enemies of thisfaith. Are we to-day to assume the part of leaders? Would not modestyteach us a different lesson?'
'Modesty has nothing to do with truth,' said Macer. 'He who is wholly aChristian to-day, is all that he can be to-morrow, or next year. I am asold in faith and zeal as Piso, Probus, or Felix. No one can believemore, or more heartily, by believing longer. Nay, it is they who arenewly saved who are most sensible to the blessing. Custom in religion asin other things dulls the soul. Were I a Christian much longer beforeGod called me to serve him by suffering or death, I fear I should bethen spiritually dead, and so worse than before I believed. Let it beto-morrow, O Lord, that I shall glorify thee!'
It was plain that little impression was to be made upon the mind ofMacer. But we ceased not to urge him farther, his wife and elderchildren uniting with us in importunate entreaty and expostulation. Butall in vain. In his stern and honest enthusiasm he believed allprudence, cowardice; all calculation, worldliness; all moderation andtemperance, treason to the church and Christ. Yet none of the naturalcurrent of the affections seemed to be dried up or poisoned. No onecould be more bound to his wife and children; and, toward us, though inour talk we spared him not, he ever maintained the same frank and openmanner--yielding never an inch of ground, and uttering himself with anearnestness and fury such as I never saw in another; but, soon as he hadceased speaking, subsiding into a gentleness that seemed almost that ofa woman, and playfully sporting with the little boy that he held on hisknee.
Soon as our conversation was ended, Macer, turning to his wife,exclaimed,
'But what hinders that we should set before our visiters suchhospitality as our
poor house affords? Arria, have we not such as maywell enough entertain Christians?'
AElia, at a word from her mother, and accompanied by her sister,immediately busied themselves in the simple rites of hospitality, andsoon covered the table which stood in the centre of the room with bread,lettuces, figs, and a flask of wine. While they were thus engaged, Icould not but observe the difference in appearance of the two eldersisters, who, with equal alacrity, were setting out the provisions forour repast. One was clad like the others of the family in the garmentscommon to the poor. The other--she who had spoken--was arrayed, notrichly, but almost so, or, I should rather say, fancifully, and withstudied regard to effect. While I was wondering at this, and seeking inmy own mind for its explanation, I was interrupted in my thoughts byMacer.
'Thanks to Aurelian, Piso, we are able, though poor, as you see, anddwelling in these almost subterranean vaults, to live above the fear ofabsolute want. But especially are we indebted for many of our comforts,and for such luxury as this flask of Massican, to my partly gentiledaughter, AElia, whom you behold moving among us, as if by her attire shewere not of us--but Cicer's heart is not truer--and who will, despiteher faith and her father's bidding, dance and sing for the merriment ofthese idolaters. Never before, I believe, had Christian preacher adancing-girl for a daughter.'
A deep blush passed over the features of the daughter as she answered,
'But, father, you know that in my judgment--and whose in this matter isso to be trusted?--I am in no way injured by my art, and it addssomewhat to the common stock. I see not why I need be any the less aChristian, because I dance; especially, as with me, it is but one of theforms of labor. Were it forbidden by our faith, or could it be shown tobe to me an evil, I would cease. But most sure I am it is neither. Letme now appeal to Probus for my justification, and to Piso.'
'Doubtless,' said Probus, 'those Christians are right who abstain fromthe theatres, the amphitheatres, the circuses, and from the places ofpublic amusement where sights and sounds meet ear and eye such as thepure should never hear or see, and such as none can hear or see andmaintain their purity. The soul is damaged in spite of herself. But forthese arts of music and dancing, practised for the harmlessentertainment of those who feast their friends,--where alone I warrantAElia is found--who can doubt that she is right? Were not the receptionof the religion of Christ compatible with indulgence in innocentamusement, or the practice of harmless arts such as these, few, I fear,would receive it. Christianity condemns many things, which, by Pagans,are held to be allowable, but not everything.'
'Willingly would I abandon my art,' said AElia,' did I perceive it toinjure the soul; or could I in other ways buy bread for our household.So dearly do I prize this new-found faith, that for its sake, were it tobe retained in no other way, would I relinquish it, and sink into thedeeper poverty that would then be ours, or drudge at some humbler toil.'
'Do it, do it, AElia,' said Macer; 'and the Lord will love thee all themore. 'Tis the only spot on thy white and glistering robes. The Lordloves not more than I to see thee wheeling and waving to and fro, tosupply mirth to those, who, mayhap, would crucify thee the next hour, asothers crucified thy master.'
Tears fell from the eyes of the fair girl as she answered,
'Father, it shall be as you wish. Not willingly, but by constraint, haveI labored as I have. God will not forsake us, and will, I cannot doubt,open some new path of labor for me--if indeed the disorders of the timesdo not first scatter or destroy us.'
I here said to Macer and his daughter, that there need be no hesitationabout abandoning the employment in question, from any doubt concerning afuture occupation; if AElia would but accompany her mother, when next shewent to visit Julia, I could assure her of obtaining there all she coulddesire.
At this the little boy, whom Macer held, clapped his hands and cried outwith joy--'Ah! then will AElia be always with us and go away no more;'and flying to his sister was caught by her in her arms.
The joy diffused throughout the little circle at this news was great.All were glad that AElia was to dance and sing no more, for all wishedher at home, and her profession had kept her absent almost every day.The table was now spread, and we sat down to the frugal repast, Macerfirst offering a prayer to God.
'It is singular,' said he, when we were seated,'that in my Heathenestate, I ever asked the blessing of the gods before I ate. Nay, andnotwithstanding the abominations of my life, was often within thetemples a worshipper. I verily believe there are many Christians whopray less than the Heathen, and less after they become Christian thanbefore.'
'I can readily believe it,' said Probus. 'False religions multiplyoutward acts; and for the reason, that they make religion to consist inthem. A true faith, which places religion in the inward disposition, notin services, will diminish them. More prayers were said, and more ritesperformed in the temple of Jupiter, where my father was priest, than theChristian church, where I serve, ever witnesses. But what then? With thePagan worshipper religion ended when the service closed, and he turnedfrom the temple to the world. With the Christian, the highest serviceonly then commences when he leaves the church. Religion, with him, isvirtuous action, more than it is meditation or prayer. He prays withoutceasing, not by uttering without cessation the language of prayer, butby living holily. Every act of every hour, which is done conscientiouslyis a prayer, as well as the words we speak, and is more pleasing to God,for the reason that practice is better than mere profession--doingbetter than saying.'
'That is just, Probus,' replied Macer. 'When I prayed as an idolater, itwas because I believed that the gods required such outwardacknowledgment, and that some evil or other might befall me throughtheir vengeance, if I did not. But when I had ended that duty I hadended my religion, and my vices went on none the less prosperously.Often indeed my prayers were for special favors,--wealth, or success insome affair--and when, after wearying myself with repeating them athousand times, the favors were not bestowed, how have I left the templein a rage, cursing the gods I had just been worshipping, and swearingnever more to propitiate them by prayer or sacrifice. Sometimes Irepented of such violence, but oftener kept my word and tried some othergod. You, Probus, were, I may believe, of a more even temper?'
'Yes, perhaps so. My father was one of the most patient and gentle ofmen, and religious after the manner of our remoter ancestors of the daysof the republic. He was my instructor; and from him I learned truthswhich were sufficient for my happiness under ordinary circumstances. Iwas a devout and constant worshipper of the gods. My every-day life maythen have been as pure as it has been since I have been a Christian; andmy prayers as many or more. The instincts of my nature, which carried upthe soul toward some great and infinite being, which I could not resist,kept me within the bounds of that prudent and virtuous life which Ibelieved would be most acceptable to them. But when a day of heavy andinsupportable calamity came upon me, and I was made to look after thefoundations of what I had been believing, I found there were none. I waslike a ship tossed about by the storms, without rudder or pilot. I thenknew not whether there were gods or not; or if there were any, who,among the multiplicity worshipped in Rome, the true ones were. In mygrief, I railed at the heavens and their rulers, for not revealingthemselves to us in our darkness and weakness; and cursed them for theircruelty. Soon after I became a Christian. The difference between mystate then, and now, is this. I believed then; but it was merelyinstinctive. I could give no reason to myself nor to others for myfaith. It was something and yet nothing. Now, I have somewhat to standupon. I can prove to myself, and to others, my religion, as well asother things. I have knowledge as well as blind belief. It is good tobelieve in something, and in some sort, though one can give no accountof his faith; but it is better to believe in that which we know, as weknow other things. I have now, as a Christian, the same strength ofbelief in God, providence, and futurity, that I have in any factsattested by history. Jesus has announced them or confirmed them, andthey are susceptible of proof. I differed from you, Ma
cer, in this; thatI cursed not the gods in my passion, or caprice; I was for years andyears their humble, and contented, and patient worshipper. I rebellednot till I suffered cruel disappointment, and in my faith could find noconsolation or light. One real sorrow, by which the foundations of myearthly peace were all broken up, revealed to me the nothingness of myso called religion. Into what a new world, Macer, has our new faithintroduced us! I am now happier than ever I was, even with my wife andchildren around me.'
'Some of our neighbors,' said Auria, 'wonder what it is that makes us solight of heart, notwithstanding our poverty and the dangers to which weare so often exposed. I tell them that they, who, like us, believe inthe providence of a God, who is always near us and within us, and in thelong reign with Christ as soon as death is past, have nothing to fear.That which they esteem the greatest evil of all, is, to us, an absolutegain. Upon this they either silently wonder, or laugh and deride.However, many too believe.'
'Probus, we are all ready to be offered up,' the enthusiast rejoined.'God's mercy to me is beyond all power of mine to describe, in that hehas touched and converted the hearts of every one under my roof. Now ifto this mercy he will but add one more, that we may glorify him by ourdeath as well as in our life, the cup of his servant will be full andrunning over.'
Probus did not choose again to engage with his convert upon that theme,knowing him to be beyond the reach of influence and control. We couldnot but marvel to see to what extent he had infused his own enthusiasminto his family. His wife indeed and elder daughters would willingly seehim calmer and less violent when abroad, but like him, being by natureof warm temperament, they are like him Christians warm and zealousbeyond almost any whom I have seen. They are as yet also so recentlytransferred from their Heathen to their Christian state, that theirsight is still dazzled, and they see not objects in their true shapesand proportions. In their joy they seem to others, and perhaps oftenare, greatly extravagant in the expression of their feelings andopinions.
When our temperate repast was ended, Macer again prayed, and we thenseparated. Our visit proved wholly ineffectual as to the purpose we hadin view, but by no means so when I consider the acquaintance which itthus gave me with a family in the very humblest condition, who yet wereholding and equally prizing the same opinions, at which, after so muchresearch and labor, I had myself arrived. I perceived in this power ofChristianity to adapt itself to minds so different in their slate ofprevious preparation, and in their ability to examine and sift aquestion which was offered to them; in the facility and quickness withwhich it seized both upon the understanding and the affections; in thedeep convictions which it produced of its own truth and excellence, andthe scorn and horror with which it filled the mind for its formersuperstitions--I saw in this an element of strength, and of dominion,such as even I had hardly conceived, and which assures me that thisreligion is destined to a universal empire. Not more certainly do allmen need it than they will have it. When in this manner, with everythingagainst it, in the habits, lives, and prejudices of men--with itselfalmost against itself in its strictness and uncompromising morality--itnevertheless forces its way into minds of every variety of character,and diffuses wherever it goes the same inward happiness;--its successunder such circumstances is at once an argument for its truth, and anassurance that it will pause in its progress not till it shall havesubdued the world to its dominion.
Julia was deeply interested in all that I told her of the family ofMacer, and will make them all her special charge. AElia will I hopebecome in some capacity a member of our household.
I ought to tell you that we have often of late been at the Gardens,where we have seen both Livia and Aurelian. Livia is the same, but theEmperor is changed. A gloomy horror seems to sit upon him, which bothindisposes him to converse as formerly, and others to converse with him.Especially has he shown himself averse to discussion of any point thatconcerns the Christians, at least with me. When I would willingly havedrawn him that way, he has shrunk from it with an expression ofdistaste, or with more expressive silence, or the dark language of histerrific frown. For me however he has no terrors, and I have resolved tobreak through all the barriers he chooses to set up around him, andlearn if I can what his feelings and purposes precisely are. Oneconversation may reveal them in such a way, as may make it sufficientlyplain what part he means to act, and what measure of truth there may bein the current rumors; in which, for my own part, I cannot bring myselfto place much reliance. I doubt even concerning the death of Aurelia,whether, even if it has taken place, it is not to be traced to somecause other than her religion.
* * * * *
A day has passed. I have seen the Emperor, as I was resolved to do, andnow I no longer doubt what his designs are, nor that they are dark asthey have been represented; yea, and darker, even as night is darkerthan day.
Upon reaching the palace, I was told that the Emperor was exercising atthe hippodrome, toward which I then bent my steps. It lies at somedistance from the palace, concealed from it by intervening groves. Soonas I came in sight of it, I beheld Aurelian upon his favorite horserunning the course as if contending for a prize, plying, the while, thefierce animal he bestrode with the lash, as if he were some laggard whoneeded rousing to his work. Swifter than the wind he flew by me, howmany times I know not, without noting apparently that any one waspresent beside the attendant slaves; nor did he cease till the horse,spent and exhausted, no longer obeyed the will of even the Emperor ofthe world. Many a noble charger has he in this manner rode till he hasfallen dead. So long used has this man been to the terrific game of war,and the scenes and sights which that reveals, stirring to their depthsall the direst passions of our nature, that now, at home and at peace,life grows stale and flat, and needs the artificial stimulants whichviolent and extreme modes of action can alone supply. The death of ahorse on the course, answers now for a legion slain in battle; anunruly, or disobedient, or idle slave hewn in two, affords the reliefwhich the execution of prisoners has been accustomed to yield. Weary ofinaction, he pants for the day to arrive when, having completed thedesigns he has set on foot in the city, he shall again join the army,now accumulating in huge masses in Thrace, and once more find himself inthe East, on the way to new conquests and fresh slaughter.
As he threw himself from his horse, now breathing hard and scarcelysupporting himself, the foam rolling from him like snow, he saluted mein his usual manner.
'A fair and fortunate day to you, Piso! And what may be the news in thecity? I have rode fast and far, but have heard nothing. I come backempty as I went out, save the heat which I have put into my veins. Thishorse is he I was seen upon from the walls of Palmyra by your and othertraitor eyes. But for first passing through the better part of my legand then the saddle, the arrow that hit me then had been the death ofhim. But death is not for him, nor he for death; he and his rider aresomething alike, and will long be so, if auguries ever speak truth. Andif there be not truth in auguries, Piso, where is it to be found amongmortals? These three mornings have I rode him to see if in this mannerhe could be destroyed, but thou seest how it issues; I should destroymyself before him. But what, I say, is the news? How does the ladyJulia? and the Queen?'
Replying first to these last inquiries, I then said that there waslittle news I believed in the city. The only thing, perhaps, that couldbe treated as news, was the general uneasiness of the Christians.
'Ah! They are uneasy? By the gods, not wholly without reason. Were itnot for them I had now been, not here chafing my horse and myself on ahippodrome, but tearing up instead the hard sands of the Syrian deserts.They weigh upon me like a nightmare! They are a visible curse of thegods upon the state--but, being seen, it can be removed. I reckon notyou among this tribe, Piso, when I speak of them. What purpose isimputed?'
'Rumor varies. No distinct purpose is named, but rather a general one ofabridging some of their liberties--suppressing their worship, andsilencing their priests.'
'Goes it no further?'
&
nbsp; 'Not with many; for the people are still willing to believe thatAurelian will inflict no needless suffering. They see you great in war,severe in the chastisement of the enemies of the state, and just in thepunishment inflicted upon domestic rebels; and they conceive that inregard to this simple people you will not go beyond the rigor I havejust named.'
'Truly they give me credit,' replied Aurelian, 'for what I scarcelydeserve. But an Emperor can never hear the truth. Piso! they will findthemselves deceived. One or the other must fall--Helenism orChristianity! I knew not, till my late return from the East, the ravagesmade by this modern superstition, not only throughout Rome, but theworld. In this direction I have for many years been blind. I have hadeyes only for the distant enemies of my country, and the glories of thebattle-field. But now, upon resting here a space in the heart of theempire, I find that heart eaten out and gone; the religion of ancientRome, which was its very life, decaying, and almost dead, through therank growth of this overshadowing poison-tree that has shot up at itsside. It must be cut up by the roots--the branches hewn away--the leavesstripped and scattered to the winds--nay, the very least fibre thatlurks below the surface with life in it, must be wrenched out andconsumed. We must do thus by the Christians and their faith, or theywill do so by us.'
'I am hardly willing,' I replied, 'to believe what I have heard; norwill I believe it. It were an act, so mad and unwise, as well as socruel, that I will not believe it though coming from the lips ofAurelian!'
'It is true, Piso, as the light of yonder sun! But if thou wilt notbelieve, wait a day or two and proof enough shall thou have--proof thatshall cure thy infidelity in a river of Christian blood.'
'Still, Aurelian,' I answered. 'I believe not: nor will, till thatriver shall run down before my eyes red and thick as the Orontes!'
'How, Piso, is this? I thought you knew me!'
'In part I am sure I do. I know you neither to be a madman nor a fool,both which in one would you be to attempt what you have now threatened.'
'Young Piso, you are bold!'
'I make no boast of courage,' I replied; 'I know that in familiar speechwith Aurelian, I need not fear him. Surely you would not converse onsuch a subject with a slave or a flatterer. A Piso can be neither. I canspeak, or I can be silent; but if I speak--'
'Say on, say on, in the name of the gods!'
'What I would say to Aurelian then is this, that slaughter as he may,the Christians cannot be exterminated; that though he decimated, firstRome and then the empire, there would still be left a seed that wouldspring up and bear its proper harvest. Nay, Aurelian, though you halvedthe empire, you could not win your game. The Christians are more thanyou deem them.'
'Be it so,' replied the Emperor; 'nevertheless I will try. But they arenot so many as you rate them at, neither by a direct nor an indirectenumeration.'
'Let that pass, then,' I answered. 'Let them be a half, a quarter, atenth part of what I believe them to be, it will be the same; theycannot be exterminated. Soon as the work of death is done, that of lifewill begin again, and the growth will be the more rank for the bloodspilled around. Outside of the tenth part, Aurelian, that now openlyprofesses this new religion, there lies another equal number of thosewho do not openly profess it, but do so either secretly, or else view itwith favor and with the desire to accept it. Your violence, inflictedupon the open believers, reaches not them, for they are an invisiblemultitude; but no sooner has it fallen and done its work of ruin, thanthis other multitude slowly reveals itself, and stands forth heirs andprofessors of the persecuted faith, and ready, like those who wentbefore them, to live for it and die for it.'
'What you say may be so,' answered Aurelian; 'I had thought not of it.Nevertheless, I will try.'
'Moreover,' I continued, 'in every time of persecution, there arethose--sincere believers, but timid--who dare not meet the threatenedhorrors. These deny not their faith, but they shrink from sight; theyfor a season disappear; their hearts worship as ever, but their tonguesare silent; and search as they may, your emissaries of blood cannot findthem. But soon as the storm is over-past, then do they come forth again,as insects from the leaves that sheltered them from the storm, and fillagain the forsaken churches.'
'Nevertheless I will try for them.'
'Then will you be, Aurelian, as one that sheds blood, because he willshed it--seeing that the end at which you aim cannot in such way bereached. Confiscation, imprisonment, scourging, fires, torture, anddeath, will all be in vain; and with no more prospect that by suchoppression Christianity can be annihilated, than there would be ofrooting out poppies from your fields when as you struck off the heads ortore up the old roots, the ripe seeds were scattered abroad over thesoil, a thousand for every parent stalk that fell. You will drenchyourself in the blood of the innocent, only that you may do it--while noeffect shall follow.'
'Let it be so then; even so. Still I will not forbear. But this I know,Piso, that when a disaffection has broken out in a legion, and I havecaused the half thereof, or its tenth, to be drawn forth and cut topieces by the other part, the danger has disappeared. The physic hasbeen bitter, but it has cured the patient! I am a good surgeon; and wellused to letting blood. I know the wonders it works and shall try it now,not doubting to see some good effects. When poison is in the veins, letout the blood, and the new that comes in is wholesome. Rome ispoisoned!'
'Great Emperor,' I replied, 'you know nothing, allow me to say, whereofyou affirm. You know not the Christians, and how can you deem thempoison to the state? A purer brotherhood never has the world seen. I ambut of late one among them, and it is but a few months since I thoughtof them as you now do. But I knew nothing of them. Now I know them. Andknowledge has placed them before me in another light. If, Aurelian--'
'I know nothing of them, Piso, it is true; and I wish to knownothing--nothing more, than that they are Christians! that they deny thegood gods! that they aim at the overthrow of the religion of thestate--that religion under whose fostering care Rome has grown up to hergiant size--that they are fire-brands of discord and quarrel in Rome andthroughout the world! Greater would my name be, could I extirpate thisaccursed tribe than it would be for triumphing over both the East andWest, or though I gained the whole world.'
'Aurelian,' I replied, 'this is not the language I used to hear fromyour lips. Another spirit possesses you and it is not hard to tellwhence it comes.'
'You would say--from Fronto.'
'I would. There is the rank poison, that has turned the blood in theveins of one, whom justice and wisdom once ruled, into its own accursedsubstance.'
'I and Rome, Piso,' said Aurelian, 'owe much to Fronto. I confess thathis spirit now possesses me. He has roused the latent piety into actionand life, which I received with my mother's milk, but which, the godsforgive me! carried away by ambition, had well nigh gone quite out in mysoul. My mother--dost thou know it?--was a priestess of Apollo, andnever did god or goddess so work by unseen influence to gain a mortal'sheart, as did she to fill mine with reverence of the deities ofheaven--specially of the great god of light. I was early a waywardchild. When a soldier in the legions I now command, my life was what asoldier's is--a life of action, hardship, peril, and blood. The deitiesof Heaven soon became to me as if they were not. And so it has been forwell nigh all the years of my life. But, the gods be thanked, Fronto hasredeemed me! and since I have worn this diadem have I toiled, Rome cantestify with what zeal, to restore to her gods their lost honors--topurge her worship of the foul corruptions that were bringing it intocontempt--and raise it higher than ever in the honor of the people, bythe magnificence of the temples I have built; by the gifts I havelavished upon them; by the ample riches wherewith I have endowed thepriesthood. And more than once, while this work has been achieving, hasthe form of my revered parent, beautiful in the dazzling robes of heroffice, stood by my bedside--whether in dream, or in vision, or inactual presence, I cannot tell--and blessed me for my piousenterprise--"The gods be thanked," the lips have said, or seemed to say,"that thy yout
h lasts not always but that age has come, and with itsecond childhood in thy reverence of the gods, whose worship it was mineto put into thy infant heart. Go on thy way, my son! Build up the fallenaltars, and lay low the aspiring fanes of the wicked. Finish what thouhast begun, and all time shall pronounce thee greatest of the great."Should I disobey the warning? The gods forbid! and save me from suchimpiety. I am now, Piso, doubly armed for the work I have taken inhand--first by the zeal of the pious Fronto, and second, by the manifestfinger of Heaven pointing the way I should go. And, please the AlmightyRuler! I will enter upon it, and it shall not be for want of adetermined will and of eyes too used to the shedding of blood to befrightened now though an ocean full were spilled before them, if thisrace be not utterly swept from the face of the earth, from the sucklingto the silver head, from the beggar to the prince--and from Rome allaround to the four winds, as far as her almighty arms can reach.'
My heart sunk within me as he spoke, and my knees trembled under me. Iknew the power and spirit of the man, and I now saw that superstitionhad claimed him for her own; that he would go about his work of deathand ruin, armed with his own cruel and bloody mind, and urged behind bythe fiercer spirit still of Pagan bigotry. It seemed to me, in spite ofwhat I had just said myself, and thought I believed, as if thedeath-note of Christianity had now been rung in my ear. The voice ofAurelian as he spoke had lost its usual sharpness, and fallen into alower tone full of meaning, and which said to me that his very inmostsoul was pouring itself out, with the awful words he used. I feltutterly helpless and undone--like an ant in the pathway of agiant--incapable of resistance or escape. I suppose all this was visiblein my countenance. I said nothing; and Aurelian, after pausing a moment,went on.
'Think me not, Piso, to be using the words of an idle braggart in what Ihave said. Who has known Aurelian, when once he has threatened death, tohold back his hand? But I will give thee earnest of my truth!'
'I require it not, Aurelian. I question not thy truth.'
'I will give it notwithstanding, Piso. What will you think--you willthink as you ever have of me--if I should say that already, and upon oneof my own house, infected with this hell-begotten atheism, has the axealready fallen!'
Hearing the horrible truth from his own lips, it seemed as if I hadnever heard it before. I hardly had believed it.
'Tyrant!' I exclaimed, 'it cannot be! What, Aurelia?'
'Yes, Aurelia! Keep thy young blood cool, Piso. Yes, Aurelia! Ere Istruck at others, it behoved me to reprove my own. It was no easyservice, as you may guess, but it must be done. And not only was Aureliaherself pertinaciously wedded to this fatal mischief, but she wassubduing the manly mind of Mucapor too, who, had he been successfullywrought upon, were as good as dead to me and to Rome--and he is one whomour legions cannot spare. We have Christians more than enough already inour ranks: a Christian general was not to be borne. This was additionalmatter of accusation against Aurelia, and made it right that she shoulddie. But she had her free choice of life, honor, rank, riches, and,added to all, Mucapor, whose equal Rome does not hold, if she would buttake them. One word spoken and they were all her own; with no smallchance that she should one day be what Livia is. But that one word herobstinate superstition would not let her speak.'
'No, Aurelian; there is that in the Christian superstition that alwaysforbids the uttering of that one word. Death to the Christian is butanother word for life. Apostacy is the true death. You have destroyedthe body of Aurelia, but her virtuous soul is already with God, and itis you who have girded upon her brow a garland that shall never fade. Ofthat much may you make your boast.'
'Piso, I bear with you, and shall; but there is no other in Rome whomight say so much.'
'Nay, nay, Aurelian, there I believe you better than you make yourself.To him who is already the victim of the axe or the beasts do you neverdeny the liberty of the tongue,--such as it then is.'
'Upon Piso, and he the husband of Julia, I can inflict no evil, norpermit it done.'
'I would take shelter, Aurelian, neither behind my own name, myfather's, nor my wife's. I am a Christian--and such fate as may befallthe rest, I would share. Yet not willingly, for life and happiness aredear to me as to you--and they are dear to all these innocent multitudeswhom you do now, in the exercise of despotic power, doom to a sudden andabhorred death. Bethink yourself, Aurelian, before it be too late--'
'I have bethought myself of it all,' he replied--'and were the sufferingten times more, and the blood to be poured out a thousand times more, Iwould draw back not one step. The die has been cast; it has come up asit is, and so must be the game. I listen to no appeal.'
'Not from me,' I replied; 'but surely you will not deny a hearing towhat these people may say in their own defence. That were neither justnor merciful; nor were it like Aurelian. There is much which by theirproper organs they might say to place before you their faith in thelight of truth. You have heard what you have received concerning it,chiefly from the lips of Fronto; and can he know what he has neverlearned? or tell it unperverted by prejudices black as night?'
'I have already said,' rejoined the Emperor, 'that I would hear them,and I will. But it can avail them no more than words uttered in thebreath of the tempest that is raging up from the north. Hear them! Thisday have I already heard them--from one of those madmen of theirs whoplague the streets of Rome. Passing early by the temple ofAEsculapius--that one which stands not an arrow's flight from the columnof Trajan--I came upon a dense crowd of all sorts of persons listeningto a gaunt figure of a man who spoke to them. Soon as I came againsthim, and paused on my horse for the crowd to make way, the wild beastwho was declaiming, shouted at me at the top of his voice, calling on meto 'hear the word of God which he would speak to me.' Knowing him bysuch jargon to be a Christian, I did as he desired, and there stood,while he, for my especial instruction, laid bare the iniquities andfollies of the Roman worship; sent the priesthood and all who enteredtheir temples to the infernal regions; and prophesied againstRome--which he termed Babylon--that ere so many centuries were gone,her walls would lie even with the ground, her temples moulder in ruins,her language become extinct, and her people confounded with othernations and lost. And all this because, I, whom he now called, if Iremember the names aright, Ahaz and now Nebuchadnezzar, oppressed thechildren of God and held them in captivity: while in the same breath hebid me come on with my chains, gibbets, beasts, crosses, and fires, forthey were ready, and would rejoice to bear their testimony in the causeof Christ. As I turned to resume my way, his words were; 'Go on, thouman of pride and blood; go on thy way! The gates of hell swing open forthee! Already the arm of the Lord is bared against thee! the wingedlightning struggles in his hand to smite thee! I hear thy cry for mercywhich no one answers--' and more, till I was beyond the reach of hisowl's voice. There was an appeal, Piso, from this people! What think youof it?'
'He whom you heard,' I replied, 'I know, and know him to be honest andtrue; as loyal a subject too as Rome holds. He is led away by his hotand hasty temper both to do and say what injures not only him, but allwho are joined with him, and the cause he defends. He offends theChristians hardly less than others. Judge not all by him. He standsalone. If you would hear one whom all alike confide in, and who mayfitly represent the feelings and principles of the whole body ofChristians, summon Probus. From him may you learn without exaggerationor concealment, without reproach of others or undue boasting ofthemselves, what the Christians are in their doctrines and their lives,as citizens of Rome and loyal subjects of Aurelian, and what, ascitizens of heaven and loyal followers of Jesus Christ.'
The Emperor promised to consider it. He had no other reason to deny suchfavor, but the tedium of listening to what could profit neither him norothers.
We then turned toward the palace, where I saw Livia; now as silent andsad as, when in Palmyra, she was lively and gay. Not that Aurelianabates the least of his worship, but that the gloom which overshadowshim imparts itself to her, and that knowing what has befallen Aurelia,she cannot
but feel it to be a possible thing for the blow to fallelsewhere and nearer. Yet is there the same outward show as ever. Thepalace is still thronged, with not Rome only, but by strangers from allquarters of the empire, anxious to pay their homage at once to theEmpress of Rome, to the most beautiful woman in the world--such is thelanguage--and to a daughter of the far-famed Zenobia.
The city is now crowded with travelers of all nations, so much so thatthe inns can scarce receive them; and hardly ever before was privatehospitality so put to all its resources. With all, and everywhere, inthe streets, at the public baths, in the porticos, at the private orpublic banquet, the Christians are the one absorbing topic. And, atleast, this good comes with the evil, that thus the character of thisreligion, as compared with that of Rome and other faiths, is made knownto thousands who might otherwise never have heard of it, or have feltinterest enough in it to examine its claims. It leads to a large demandfor, and sale of, our sacred books. The copyists can hardly supply themso fast as they are wanted. For in the case of any dispute orconversation, it is common to hear the books themselves referred to,and then to be called in as witnesses for or against a statement made.And pleasant enough is it to see how clear the general voice is on ourside--especially with the strangers--how indignant they are, for themost part, that violence, to the extreme of another Decian persecution,should be so much as dreamed of. Would that the same could be said ofour citizens and countrymen! A large proportion of them indeed embracethe same liberal sentiments, but a greater part, if not for extremeviolence, are yet for oppression and suppression; and I dare not say howmany, for all that Aurelian himself designs. Among the lower orders,especially, a ferocious and blood-thirsty spirit breaks out in athousand ways that fills the bosom both with grief and terror.
The clouds are gathering over us, Fausta, heavy and black with thetempest pent up within. The thunders are rolling in the distance, andeach hour coming nearer and nearer. Whom the lightnings shallstrike--how vain to conjecture! Would to God that Julia wereanywhere but here! For, to you I may say it, I cannot trustAurelian--yes--Aurelian himself I may; but not Aurelian the tool ofFronto. Farewell.