Alexa sniffled. “I’d been thinking of ending things for a while, but I always put off saying something to you. There was never anything specific you did wrong.” She gave Tyler a teary smile. “I know it’s such a cliché, but it’s wasn’t you. It was—”
Tyler groaned. “Alexa. Come on.”
Alexa shook her head. She had to set this straight. “Tyler, you are…” She groped for the right word. “Awesome,” she said with another smile. “Really. You’re thoughtful and considerate and, well, you’re not bad to look at.” Tyler colored slightly. Alexa tried to laugh but she was too close to tears.
“But I didn’t appreciate your good qualities,” she continued. “I was always hung up on how we weren’t right for each other. How different we were.” The lump in her throat that had lingered since her conversation with Diego grew larger. Alexa felt as if everything was hitting her at once:Tyler. Diego. Holly. Even her father, so wrapped up in his work back home that he hadn’t thought to warn her that Tyler was coming. And Alexa thought of her mother, who was so consumed by her fashionable New York existence that she didn’t even know Alexa had gone to South Beach in the first place. All the pain Alexa had worked so hard to bottle up threatened to overflow. She didn’t think she’d be able to hold back her tears this time.
Tyler nodded. “When I was with you, I always felt as if I couldn’t…measure up. I couldn’t give you what you wanted.” He regarded her seriously “We are so different, Alexa. I think I realize that now.”
“I just don’t think we were ever destined to be together,” Alexa whispered to him. Then, hot salty tears coursed down her cheeks and she began to sob, burying her face in her hands. “And when I told you that you’d find a better girl for you, I—I meant it…”
Tyler immediately walked over to the bed and sat beside Alexa, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.
“Shhh,” he murmured. “Don’t cry, Alexa. I can’t stand seeing you this upset.”
“Really?” Alexa sobbed, looking up at him. “You don’t hate me?”
Tyler reached into his back pocket and pulled out a folded tissue. He handed it to Alexa and she blew her nose. “I was good and pissed at you,” he said. “I deleted all the pictures of you from my cell phone, and I wrote you this e-mail full of swear words that I never even sent. But I don’t think I could ever hate you, Alexa.” Gently, he pressed his lips to her cheek.
Through her tears, Alexa thought about how cute it was that Tyler had used the phrase “swear words.” Only Tyler…It was so reassuring to have a pair of masculine arms around her, and so comforting to smell Tyler’s fresh, soapy scent that Alexa forgot all about her taking-a-break-from-boys plan. Tyler being here was bizarre, but at the same time, familiar. Easy. Alexa didn’t think twice before she turned her face and put her mouth on Tyler’s.
She felt him hesitate, and start to draw back, but then he returned her kiss. Alexa leaned back on the bed, drawing Tyler along with her until they were both lying down. Alexa arched her back, pressing up close to Tyler. Kissing him wasn’t as electric as kissing Diego, but, God, he felt so good. She realized with a smile that, this time, her father wasn’t downstairs; Tyler would let her take this as far as she liked.
But before Alexa reached down to tug off Tyler’s sweatshirt, she realized how wrong their sleeping together would be. It would confuse everything between them. And it would mess up Alexa’s state of mind even more.
Alexa broke off their kiss, turning her head away. Tyler paused, studying her face, then he pulled back. They both sat up and faced each other sheepishly.
“We shouldn’t,” Alexa said.
Tyler nodded. “Yeah,” he said after a minute. “That would be a bad plan. I mean, you’re pretty hard to resist, Alexa. But I need to move on.”
“Are you going back to Oakridge tonight?” Alexa asked, blotting her cheeks with her tissue. The way he said move on had sounded sort of literal.
“I don’t think so,” Tyler said. “My flight back isn’t until Saturday. And the guy downstairs told me there are lots of vacancies here. He’s gonna put me in a single upstairs.”
“Of course there are lots of vacancies,” Alexa said, giggling. “This place is a total dive.”
Tyler laughed. “I didn’t even notice. Seems cool to me.”
It felt good to be laughing and talking with Tyler, Alexa thought. He gathered his bags, and they agreed to meet for brunch sometime during the week. Maybe I’ll do the impossible and actually be friends with an ex, Alexa thought incredulously as she hugged Tyler good-bye. That would be a first.
But as Alexa closed her door and confronted her empty room, her feeling of contentment vanished. Seeing Tyler had been so surreal that now she was dying to share the news with someone. She thought of picking up her cell to call Portia, but then Alexa realized whom she really wanted to talk to: Holly. Telling Holly would be so much fun—she would get all bigeyed, and would be hilariously freaked by the fact that Alexa and Tyler had almost gotten busy on her bed. But even if Holly walked into the room that minute, Alexa knew she still couldn’t bring herself to confide in her. After last night, things were bound to feel awkward between them, and as much as Alexa hated to admit it, she was much too proud to apologize yet.
Alexa returned to her nails with a sigh. She did have to acknowledge that Holly’s reaction made more sense now that Alexa had heard the backstory from Diego. At the thought of him, Alexa felt her chest seize up. Her encounter with Tyler had somehow only enhanced her longing for Diego.
After Alexa finished her nails, she went to bed, but, again, she was too on edge to sleep. She stared up at the ceiling for hours, watching the patterns cast by passing headlights. She was considering turning on the light and finishing her copy of Confessions of a Shopaholi c when a knock on the door made her jump. It couldn’t be Tyler again; he was too polite to disturb anyone at three in the morning. Hesitantly, Alexa opened the door and found herself staring at Holly, who looked pissed, soaking wet, and possibly drunk, in an over-the-top pink-and-silver outfit.
“Are you okay?” Alexa asked. She knew she and Holly weren’t supposed to be speaking, but she was too curious to keep quiet.
For a second, Holly’s expression softened, and she looked as if she wanted to tell Alexa a hundred different things. Alexa bit her lip, hoping Holly would be the one to break the ice. She knew that if Holly spoke first, she’d readily reciprocate.
But the moment passed. Holly’s face closed again. “What do you care?” she asked Alexa. Then Holly stormed past her and pulled her duffle bag from beneath her bed, digging around for a towel.
Alexa shrugged and shut the door. She got back into bed, pretending to sleep as Holly dried off, changed, and collapsed into her bed. Neither girl let on how much she wanted to talk to the other. Instead, they remained silent, their unspoken words hovering in the muggy room all night.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Payback
Holly and Alexa still didn’t speak the next morning, skirting around each other in silence as they got dressed for the beach. Holly dropped in on Kaitlin and Daisy to pick up the tote she’d left in their room yesterday, and then emerged just as Alexa was locking the door to Number 7 behind her. The two girls tramped down the stairs, with Alexa in the lead, each one careful to keep a few feet away from the other. As they cut through the lobby, Holly—worried about seeing Aaron—put on a burst of speed and tried to overtake Alexa, who was also speeding up since she was a little anxious about running into Tyler.
Outside the Flamingo, Holly pulled ahead of Alexa, then crossed the street. Alexa followed suit, but her spirits fell when she saw Holly turn onto a particular beach. That was right where Alexa had planned to sunbathe today. She wasn’t about to change her plans, though. Alexa stomped onto the beach, and saw Holly laying out her towel in the perfect spot—close enough to the shore to feel the ocean’s light spray, but with the sun directly overhead.
How dare she? Alexa thought.
She marched over
and defiantly laid her towel directly beside Holly. Then she plunked down her tote, sat on the towel, and began squirting sunscreen onto her calves and arms, glaring at Holly, who was doing the same.
Both girls finished applying sunscreen, then silently stretched out on their backs and pointed their faces toward the sun.
Very slowly, Holly turned her head to look at Alexa, and saw that Alexa was looking back at her. At the same instant, she and Alexa both reached up and took off their sunglasses. Holly could see Alexa’s mouth twitching, and Holly felt her own laugh bubbling inside her. It was ridiculous how they were each pretending to be alone while spending their morning together.
In unison, the girls burst out laughing.
Holly sat up on her towel, clutching her belly. Alexa was sitting up, too, her shoulders shaking with silent laughter.
“I’m gonna pee my pants!” Alexa threatened, getting to her feet.
“Do you always have to pee when we’re on the beach?” Holly asked with a snort.
Alexa flung her hair back, trying in vain to keep a straight face. “Well, maybe we can sneak into a hotel and you can pretend to be somebody’s niece.”
“Ooh, where did you get that idea?” Holly grinned.
Suddenly, they both became aware that they were behaving as if nothing had changed over the past two days. They grew silent, Alexa poking at the sand with her big toe, and Holly staring out at a cruise liner gliding across the horizon.
“Okay, this is ludicrous,” Alexa spoke finally. “I’m absolutely sick of not talking to you.”
“Oh, God. I am so glad you said that!” Holly confessed. She stood, and regarded Alexa sheepishly. Then, the girls threw their arms around each other.
“I’ve missed you, you freak,” Alexa admitted, squeezing Holly tight, and feeling choked up. What was with her crying jags lately? She was on an emotional roller coaster.
“I’ve missed you, too,” Holly said as she hugged Alexa tightly.
Holly was startled by how true her admission was; though she’d been mad at Alexa—and was maybe still a little mad at her—Holly had really felt her friend’s absence yesterday. It was almost as if going wild last night had been Holly’s way of channeling Alexa. At the fuzzy memory of her drunken escapades, Holly shook her head and pulled away. “And I have so much to tell you,” she added with a smile.
“Me, too!” Alexa exclaimed. “You wouldn’t believe what’s happened—”
“You go first.” Holly waved her hand at Alexa.
“No, you.” Alexa grinned. Then, she thoroughly surprised Holly by crossing her big blue eyes. And the silly gesture still reduced Holly to laughter—just as it had when the girls were little.
They sat down on their towels, facing each other. Neither Alexa nor Holly was quite ready to offer any actual apologies yet, but they were both relieved to be speaking—and joking—again.
Holly reached for her sunglasses. Standing and sitting so quickly had given her a head rush. “I need these puppies,” she told Alexa as she slipped on the shades. “I think I’m a little hung over.”
“Holly Jacobson!” Alexa cried in mock horror. “What did you do last night?” She scooted closer to Holly, eager for an explanation.
Breathlessly, Holly divulged the details she could recall from her surreal experience at Yacht, and her skeevy moment with Aaron in the pool.
“That sleaze,” Alexa said of Aaron when Holly had finished. She shuddered. “Ugh. Didn’t I say he wanted you from the beginning?”
Holly nodded, hugging her Neutrogena-slick knees to her chest. “You did. I guess I should listen to you when it comes to boys.”
At the mention of boys, the girls fell silent again, each one thinking of—but not bringing up—the boy who had come between them.
“So, speaking of boys,” Alexa said, struggling for a semi-smooth segue. “Guess who showed up unannounced at the Flamingo last night? Tyler.”
“Tyler…Davis?” Holly asked, surprised but relieved that they weren’t steering near Diego. Yet.
“Yup. My ex,” Alexa said, rolling her eyes. Holly frowned sympathetically, and Alexa added, “It’s fine, though. We kind of got…closure on our relationship.”
“Wait. He came all the way down here just to find you?” Holly was confused.
Alexa laughed. “Yeah, get this, Hol. He saw the bikini contest on Pulse! That’s how he knew—”
“Him, too?” Holly gasped. Had everyone in Oakridge seen her on TV? How humiliating.
“Why? Who else saw it?” Alexa asked, excitedly.
To Alexa’s astonishment, Holly’s face turned pale and her lips trembled. “My parents,” she whispered. When she removed her sunglasses, Alexa saw that Holly’s eyes were bright with tears. “My parents!” Holly repeated, in a near wail. The sunbathers near them cast glances at Holly, but she carried on. “Oh, Alexa—my mom left me this mean voice message yesterday, and then Grandma Ida told me—and they’re so angry…They’re definitely going to ground me…” She paused for a shaky breath. “And then I kind of broke my cell phone so I haven’t called them back yet, and I don’t know what to do…” She put her head on her knees, and let out a sob.
“You broke your cell phone?” Alexa asked, taken aback by Holly’s freak-out. “Is that why you didn’t return Diego’s call?” The question slipped out before she was able to stop herself.
Holly looked up, squinting at Alexa. “How did you know he called me?” she demanded suspiciously.
Alexa took a deep, fortifying breath. Quickly, she told Holly about seeing him—and leaving him—on Lincoln Road. Alexa didn’t offer the details of their conversation, or describe the heart-wrenching effect Diego had on her. But she was careful to mention that Diego told her about kissing Holly, back in the day.
Holly’s face flamed, and she studied her knees. So Diego did remember their kiss. That knowledge suddenly filled Holly with a degree of comfort, and she felt some of her bitterness melt away.
“He was my first kiss,” Holly admitted bashfully, looking down at the striped pattern on her towel. “It was…pretty meaningful.” Diego would always be her first kiss, but he was no longer her only kiss, Holly reflected. And, she realized, there were probably more kisses, from other boys, for her to look forward to.
Holly raised her head to meet Alexa’s gaze. “I think I hoped for something more with him this time around.” She shrugged. “And that’s why I got all psycho when I saw you guys together.” As she was speaking, Holly understood how greatly she’d overreacted at the Delano. Her perspective had been so skewed. “I’m sorry,” Holly finished, looking at Alexa sincerely.
“No, I’m sorry,” Alexa said softly. “I acted like a complete bitch to you.”
“But I was sort of being a baby,” Holly said, with a short laugh. “When Diego and I were talking at the Delano I should have known the score. It was pathetic—we had nothing to say to each other.” Holly shook her head at the memory, then studied Alexa. “But it wasn’t like that with you and him, right?” she forced herself to ask. Alexa and Diego’s connection might have been painful to acknowledge, but Holly knew she had to face reality. “You guys had, like, stuff to talk about?”
Alexa rolled a few grains of sand between her thumb and forefinger. “I guess we have a lot in common,” Alexa said quietly. She was trying to sound nonchalant, but she knew her flushed cheeks betrayed her true emotions. She could feel Holly studying her. “But it doesn’t matter,” Alexa went on, looking up to smile at Holly. “I’m off boys. All boys. You were right, Hol. I go through guys like crazy. It’s not healthy or something.”
“Did I say that?” Holly asked, knitting her brows together. “Oh, you mean when I called you a—” Her eyes grew round and she clapped a hand to her mouth, looking embarrassed. “Alexa, I was so mad I didn’t know what I was saying…”
“Well, I didn’t mean to say all that horrible stuff about—why we stopped being friends,” Alexa said guiltily, her face still warm.
“It was p
retty upsetting.” Holly shrugged. “But what you said was also this total wake-up call. That’s why I ignored the parent issue yesterday. When my parents get all overprotective, it makes me feel like a two-year-old. I don’t want them to have that hold on me anymore.”
“But, you know what?” Alexa said thoughtfully. “I think if you called them back today, and actually confronted the issue…that would be the most mature thing you could ever do.”
“You think?” Holly gave a sigh, but she knew Alexa was right. She couldn’t hide from them forever. “Is it stupid that I’m scared?” she asked, fiddling with her silver ring.
Alexa smiled. “Nah. I mean, your parents are pretty…”
“Scary?” Holly offered, rolling her eyes.
“Intense,” Alexa said, remembering Mr. and Mrs. Jacobson with a dash of fondness. She’d always half-envied the attention they lavished on Holly. “Listen, would it help if I stuck around while you made the call? Or would you rather have some privacy?”
Holly thought back to how she’d missed Alexa’s comforting presence yesterday during the voice mail debacle, and she shook her head. “Privacy? Are you crazy? I’ll need all the support I can get.”
The girls headed to the News Café on Ocean Drive for a big lunch—which, to Holly’s relief, Alexa insisted on paying for. Over burgers and salads, they filled each other in on more missing details from their day apart. When the girls had finished their meal and their gossip, Holly slid her battery back into her cell phone. Alexa patted her hand across the small table.
“I think you should call them now,” Alexa suggested gently.
Holly glanced around; the outdoor café was crowded with other diners, but thankfully the tables immediately around her were empty. Holly didn’t want anybody to hear her in case she started to cry. Before she punched “1” for her home number, she looked at Alexa.
“What should I say?” Holly asked nervously.
“Tell them that you’re sixteen years old and responsible and you can take care—” Alexa stopped. When they were younger, she had loved telling Holly what to say and do. Now, that dynamic felt wrong to her; Holly had to figure this one out for herself. “Hol, you know just what to say,” Alexa amended. “You don’t need me.”