Once the jury settled in, the judge addressed the whole room. “We are here for the case of the State of Florida versus Jason Bradley, the accused being charged with murder in the first degree.”
My heart cracked hearing that from her. She looked like God herself up there on that high pedestal where she sat, her stern face and black robes looking so final. A glance at Jason told me nothing. He faced her with his hands folded on the table in front of him, his suit jacket pulled tight against his back. I wanted to tell him it was all going to be okay, even if I knew in my heart it was a lie. Nothing was going to be okay ever again. My throat burned and my stomach churned. If I didn’t barf today it would be a miracle.
She turned her attention to the jury. “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you have been sworn in already. You are here to listen and observe. Do not speak unless you are in the jury room. Do not ask questions. Do not make any signals or gestures to anyone in this courtroom. You may take notes about what you hear today and you will be allowed to take those notes into the deliberation room along with all of the evidence. You are charged with determining whether the prosecutor has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that Mr. Bradley committed the crime of which he’s been accused, which is murder in the first degree. Before we send you in for deliberations, I will give you specific instructions guiding you in following the law.”
She didn’t wait for any response before turning to face the two tables in front of her. “Attorneys for the prosecution and for the defense, be warned, I’m not in a good mood today. The last trial I had in here was a three-ring circus and I’m not going to stand for it with this one. No histrionics, no games, no dancing the line, are we clear?”
“Yes, Your Honor,” they both said in unison.
“Good. Opening arguments, then, Mr. Prosecutor?”
I watched with a vague sense of unease as the two attorneys laid out their cases summary-style, telling the jury what they were going to prove. The prosecutor said that Jason had gone to the stadium early with the express purpose to confront the coach about a disagreement they were having about the way he was coaching the team and that he killed the coach in a fit of rage. It wasn’t an accident, it was something he planned to do when the coach didn’t respond the way he had wanted.
Jason’s attorney responded by saying that the prosecution had to prove without any doubt that Jason had gone there and meant to kill someone. That he had intended to do it. He kept talking about intent, like it mattered. It seemed to be what his entire case hinged on. He mentioned self-defense, but he didn’t focus on it like I thought he should have.
To me, it didn’t sound all that convincing. Whether Jason had meant to do it or not, he had done it, so it seemed as if this stupid defense attorney was setting Jason up for a big fall. I hated him immediately. He was weak and stupid, I could tell by his sloping shoulders and the ugly green tie he’d worn. I’m no fashionista, but even I knew to wear an honorable-colored tie when facing a jury looking for a murderer. Puke green? Bad, bad choice, asshole. He might as well have tattooed ignore everything I say on his forehead.
As the lawyer droned on and on, I scanned the crowd. Not one of Jason’s old friends was here. I knew no one other than Jason’s dad. I was just about to twist back around in my seat to face the front again, when I noticed the doors opening in the back of the room. A small figure slipped in and sat in the back row.
Leo? I squinted my eyes to see better, but there was a big fat man in my way blocking my view. I was sure it was him, though.
Impatience started eating away at me. I had to talk to Leo and ask him why he’d finally come. Had he re-established his friendship with Jason while I was away? Is that part of the reason why Jason blew me off, because he had his friend back and he only had room for one? I knew it was silly, but I was willing to give Jason any possible excuse for breaking my heart that I could. If he wanted Leo to be his friend instead of me, I could live with that; as long as he had a friend, I would be able to sleep at night again.
The judge called for a lunch break and everyone stood. Looking at my watch, I was shocked to see it was one o’clock already. I couldn’t believe those lawyers had talked for so long. Quickly making my way out of the bench seat to the back of the room, I scanned the crowd for a little person, but Leo was already gone by the time I got to the doors.
“Katy!” said a voice from behind me. It was Jason’s dad.
“I’ll be right back!” I said, running out the door as fast as I could without looking like a lunatic. I felt bad that he might think I was running from him, but there was nothing I could do about it. Something told me Leo being here was an occurrence I wouldn’t be seeing again. If I didn’t love Jason so much I wouldn’t have wanted to come back either; the lawyers were as dry as over-cooked toast.
The hallway was filled with people who’d left the courtroom. Leo was nowhere in sight, but I took off towards the front hall of the courthouse to see if he was on his way out.
I caught sight of him as he was going through the turnstiles at the exit to the main building, but I waited until he was outside and just a few feet in front of me before I said his name.
“Leo!”
He turned to me, his face frozen in shock.
“Don’t run away, I’m not going to do anything to you.” I held my hands out, hoping it would make me look less threatening.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
“Same thing you are. Watching Jason’s trial. Hoping they don’t send him to prison for the rest of his life.”
Leo moved on and I caught up to walk next to him.
“I have to go. I’m s’posed to be in school,” he mumbled.
“Me too. How’d you get here?”
He looked up, facing where he was walking. “Bus.”
We were quickly approaching the stop and a bus was waiting there. I panicked, thinking I’d never see him again.
“Jason’s life is ruined,” I blurted out, tears filling my eyes. “Have you talked to him?”
Leo stopped. He wouldn’t look at me. “No.”
“Me neither. He won’t talk to me anymore.”
Leo looked up at me. “Why not?”
“I don’t know.” It was embarrassing to be crying in front of this kid, but I couldn’t stop. My heart was broken for about ten different reasons. “After I talked to you, he got so mad at me, he told me I couldn’t be his friend anymore.”
“You serious?” Leo looked as if he didn’t believe me. The bus pulled away.
“Yes.” I looked down at him. “And I was the only friend he had left.”
Leo’s chin started to quiver.
“Why didn’t he want me talking to you, Leo? Why did he cut me off for that? Was it about the shoes?”
I don’t know why I was so fixated on those damn shoes. I just kept seeing their bright color and the flashy look they had on those little boy’s feet. Shoes meant for an older guy. Shoes meant for a serious athlete who spent a lot of money on his equipment. Shoes that looked so out of place on a twelve year old who lived behind a chain-link fence.
Leo surprised me when he started bawling. Right there on the sidewalk, his face collapsed in tears and snot started running out of his nose. He wrapped his arms around himself and turned away, but the sounds coming from him were devastating to hear. He sounded like a tortured animal.
Something came over me and I forgot society’s rule that I keep my distance. I put my arms around him and squeezed him tight. “Please don’t cry,” I said through my own tears. “It’s going to be okay.”
“It’s never going to be okay!” he yelled. “Never! Do you hear me! Never!”
“I hear you, I hear you, but I don’t understand.” I released my grip enough to turn him around. Bending down so I could get on my knees in front of him, I looked him in the eye. We were a mess, both us covered in tears and boogers and pain.
“I don’t understand, Leo. Please tell me what happened. Were you there? Did you see it happen?”
>
Leo shook his head. “I wasn’t there.”
“You weren’t? Are you sure?” I so wanted him to be a witness, to save Jason from this horrible fate.
“I’m sure.” He nodded. But tears kept coming, and his face was a mess of misery.
“Tell me what’s on your mind. I know there’s something wrong.”
“I can’t.”
I squeezed his arms hard. “Yes, you can, Leo! Tell me!”
“Excuse me,” said a voice behind me, “is there a problem here?”
It was a police officer with his hand on his hip, his feet spread apart a little. He looked ready for action.
I stood up and stepped to the side of Leo. “No, no problem here. I was just talking to my friend, Leo.” I wiped my nose with the back of my wrist.
He looked at Leo. “Sounded more like you were yelling at him and being a little rough about it.”
Leo’s chin came up. “No, she wasn’t. We were jus’ talkin’. We’re friends.” His hand slid into mine and I squeezed it, my heart filling with hope.
“Yes, we’re friends having a conversation about someone we care about, that’s it. We got a little over-emotional, and I’m sorry if that freaked you out.”
The cop smiled. “Happens at the courthouse. Have a good day.” He walked away and left us standing there. Our tears had mostly dried but there was an acre of unspoken terrain between us.
I looked down at Leo and our clasped hands. “Leo, you really need to tell me what’s going on.”
He looked down at our hands. “I know,” he whispered. “But I’m afraid.”
I let him go so I could put my arm over his shoulders. We turned to face the courthouse. “You don’t have to be afraid. Jason’s your friend and he’s fearless. And I’m your friend too.”
“You seem pretty fearless,” he said, sounding much younger than his twelve years.
“Nah. I’m scared shitless most of the time, but I go into things anyway. I guess that makes me brave.”
“Or maybe stupid,” he said.
I laughed. “Or that.” I started walking with him next to me. “Come on. Let’s go get a Coke and we can talk.”
“I’m not going to talk in there,” he said, tensing up as we got closer to the courthouse.
“We can talk outside. Look, there’s a vending machine. Sit here on this bench and I’ll get you a drink.”
He sat down and I walked over to get a drink, but by the time I had two cans in hand and had turned around, he was gone. I collapsed to the ground in tears.
Chapter Fifty
THE TRIAL ENDED THAT DAY with the prosecutor questioning a witness, the guy who maintained the stadium and who’d opened it up early for the coach. Other than Jason, he was the last one to see Coach Fielding alive. He testified that the coach acted totally normal that day, that nothing was amiss before Jason arrived. The defense attorney didn’t cross-examine him.
I stood up after the judge went into her chambers for the day feeling let down. Not only had Leo disappeared, but Jason’s lawyer had done nothing to help his case. This whole thing was a mess, like a long waiting period before Jason inevitably went away. Pointless.
“Thanks for coming, Katy,” Jason’s father said, coming up from behind me. He nodded and then made as if to move away, but I put my hand on his arm to stop him.
“Sorry I took off earlier. I wasn’t running from you. I was … running after someone who was leaving.”
Mr. Bradley paused and gave me a sad smile. “You haven’t come around in a while so I just figured…” He shrugged.
“Jason didn’t want me around, but that doesn’t mean I’m not his friend anymore.”
“He wouldn’t tell me what that was all about.”
I couldn’t meet his eyes anymore, feeling embarrassed. I looked over at Jason, but he was deep in conversation with his attorney, still sitting at his table. He probably didn’t want to see me anyway, so I shifted my gaze away.
“I think he’s just feeling very fatalistic about everything right now. He’s trying to protect everyone around him.”
When I said that, echoes of Leo’s words came back to me, calling Jason fearless, saying that he was glad the coach was dead. What kid says that?
My heart was back to racing, which was a welcome change from the coma the lawyers had put it in. I needed to talk to Leo. He had answers to questions that were swimming around in my head and drowning everything else out.
“Mr. Bradley, I need to go. There’s someone I have to talk to.”
“Sure. See you tomorrow maybe? Or no, you probably have school.”
“Screw school. I’ll be here tomorrow.”
He chuckled. “Am I going to be getting a call from your parents tonight?”
“Just blow it off if you do. This is my life and I’m calling the shots on this one.”
He leaned in and kissed my forehead. “You’re a gem. I miss having you at the house. Come and see me one of these days and we’ll have some cake.”
“Count on it,” I said, actually looking forward to chatting with him at his kitchen table. Even if Jason ignored me and stayed upstairs the whole time, I still wanted to be a part of his life somehow. I hoped that didn’t make me a stalker nut job.
I texted my parents telling them I’d be at Bobby’s working on an art project and then texted Bobby and told him to cover for me. Two return texts and I knew I was in the clear at least until ten o’clock.
I left the courthouse using the bus and took it all the way over to the Boys’ Club. It was dark by the time I got off in a neighborhood full of barking dogs. Sticking to the sidewalk and areas thick with hedges, I made it to fifty-three Shady Oak Drive without being accosted or bitten. There was a light on in the living room.
I started to sweat from the pressure. Thinking about going to Leo’s house and confronting him was one thing, but to actually be here out on the lawn while the neighbor’s pit bull drooled and dreamed of eating me for dinner was a whole other thing. I was on the verge of chickening out when the front door opened.
“Lawd have mercy, what in the name of all that is holy is goin' on out here? Mavis! Shut yo’ damn dog up already, ‘fore I come over there and put him outta my misery!”
I stood there like a deer caught in the headlights.
“Who you?” she asked as the porch light lit my face up. There was nowhere for me to hide.
I said nothing. Maybe I thought if I stood really still, she’d think I was a new lawn ornament or something.
“Cat got yo’ tongue? I asked who you is.” Her accent got thicker as she walked down her front porch stairs.
“Giiirl, you better not be playin’. I ain’t in the mood for no playin’ tonight. My bunions be acting up and my sciatical nerve been screamin’ for goin' on a week now.” She reached the gate to her fence with a pronounced limp. “You hear me, or you deaf or som’in?”
“I can hear you just fine. I was just trying to decide if I should run away or not.”
She laughed, her round, light-brown face illuminated by the streetlamp across the road. “Well, at leas’ you honest. Good thing you didn’t run tho’, cuz Mavis’s dog likes to chase things that run.” She lifted her chin and narrowed her eyes. “What’s a nice white girl like you doin’ in this hood? You lookin’ for drugs? Cuz I’m sorry to tell you but we got ourselves a neighborhood watch up in here. Ain’t no drugs, ain’t no prostitutes, ain’t no gangs. We practice clean livin’, thanks to Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, amen.”
“Uhhh … I’m not here for drugs or prostitutes. I’m here to talk to Leo.”
She backed her head up a little. “Leo? My Leo? What you want with my Leo? He done somethin’ wrong?”
“No, no, not at all. He’s a sweet kid.”
“Damn straight. Boy’s a straight-A student, honor roll and everythin’.” She put her arm up on the top of the fence. Lots of extra flab jiggled around when she did it, making me a little worried it was going to get caught in the chain link. “
So what you wanna talk to him about, then? You not a social worker, I hope.”
“No, I’m in high school. I just … can I come inside maybe?” The dog next to me sounded like he was foaming at the mouth. I glanced over, hoping the fence keeping him away from me was sturdy enough. When I saw how wide his jaw was, I decided it probably wasn’t sturdy enough at all. He looked like he could eat a hole in that metal and then me for dessert.
“Dammit, Fluffy, shut yo’ mouf!” She swatted at the dog and he ran away for two seconds with a yipe before coming back and starting all over with the I’m-going-to-eat-you-and-gnaw-on-your-bones barking thing.
“Okay, come on, then. Come inside, ‘fore Fluffy be dinin’ on your carcass. You ain’t got much meat on you anyways.”
As we walked in the front door, I heard Leo.
“What’s got Fluffy all crazy, Grandma? Is it that cat again?”
“No, it’s a white girl, says she wanna talk to you.” We stopped in the front living room.
A pot or something heavy clattered into the sink into the kitchen.
“Come on out here, and don’t play like you didn’t hear me, neither.”
Shuffling footsteps came next and then Leo’s face. He was obviously scared shitless, but I didn’t know whether it was me causing his distress or his grandma. She was kind of scaring me.
“What’s wrong wit’ you, boy? You look like you’s seen a ghost.” She looked at me. “You sure you not a cop or somethin’?”
“No, I’m a friend of Jason Bradley’s.” I nodded at her grandson. “He was the guy from Banner High School’s football team that was Leo’s big brother at the Boy’s Center.”
She frowned, confused. “Big brother? Leo ain’t got no big brother. It’s jus’ him and me. Always has been, always will be. His momma passed jus’ after he was born.”
“It’s not that kind of brother, Grandmomma.”