I rolled down the steps like a bouncing rag doll. I screamed, far too many times to count. The stairs seemed to go down forever and I built speed the further I plummeted. I was certain that I’d break an arm or a leg, or both; but I tumbled on without doing so, as painful as it was. When I hit the stone floor below, far, far below, I was covered with bruises, but intact as far as I could tell. I sat up facing the wall of stairs and I could hear the clickety-clack of Soliah’s excited hoofs. I groaned and shook my head. The bitter taste of bile and fear filled my dry mouth.
Clickety-clack, clickety-clack, clickety-clack.
The sound was still far away and I painfully rose to my feet. I turned around and faced an endless vista of pain and suffering. Thousands, no, millions of souls toiled in the great smoldering cavern. They completely ignored me as they went about their work, and I wasn’t sure if they saw me at all. They looked as miserable as any new widow and completely drained of strength. Men and women, chained together in a long line of human deprivation. They carried armloads of something that looked like coal, and they were covered from head to toe in black soot. The floor of the cavern was smattered with burning rocks, and they seemed to stretch as far as one could imagine. The heat was nearly too much to bare. Hot air burned inside my lungs.
Clickety-clack, clickety-clack.
I gasped when I saw the first of the trolls. They were roughly three feet tall, plump, but muscular in a way that was grotesque. Like Soliah, thick black fur covered their bare bodies from the waist down. They carried clubs and spiked balls that hung from blackened chains, and wore dark expressions of complete contempt. They seemed to take great pleasure in inflicting pain, and they seldom stood idle. They also ignored me, which I was thankful for. Sweat fell from my forehead and rolled under my arms.
Clickety-clack.
“What do you think of it, Huckleberry? I know it isn’t much, but with a little paint and some elbow grease… Why, the possibilities are endless!”
I felt a slap to the back of my head and I turned to face Soliah. “You’re a sick bastard,” I said. “I’ll never give up these earrings until everyone is released from this terrible place. Do you understand me? Never!”
“Release them? Why, wherever would they go? Some of them have been down here for fifty centuries. Should we send them home to their families? No, Huckleberry, these pitiful creatures chose their lot long ago, and they certainly won’t be part of any deal. Besides, I couldn’t release them even if I had the mind to.”
“Why did you take me down here, then? Are you proud of this place?”
Soliah’s face clouded over. “Am I proud of this place? What in the world is that supposed to mean? This place was created for me. Why wouldn’t I love it?”
I studied his face to see if he was putting me on, which didn’t seem to be the case. He thrust out his arms and held them wide, proud as a new parent. “This isn’t what we came down here to see, is it?” I asked. “Let’s get to it.”
Soliah’s face lit up. “Good boy, I can see that you’re finally starting to smarten up. My word, it’s about time. I knew you had to have some of my blood in there. Follow me, Huckleberry, and please, stay close. I won’t be held liable if one of my boys takes a dislike to you.”
I nodded and followed Soliah, as promised. We followed a stone path littered with bones. I can’t be sure, but I think they were fingers. He kept looking over his shoulder with his wicked smile, which caused his long tail to wag. The end of the tail was a pulsing tumor, bright red and lined with veins. I followed it at a safe distance. The sound of his hoof-beats blending with the pitiful moans of those sentenced to eternity. A woman screamed in pain. We walked like that for the better part of an hour, until I was hopelessly lost and deathly afraid of the trolls.
We stopped at the edge of a towering wall of stone, where two trolls stood sentry at a tall door made of iron. They stepped aside, but eyed me suspiciously. “Boys,” exclaimed Soliah. “I’d like to introduce you to your new boss. This is Huckleberry Brindle.”
I gasped as the trolls got to their stubby knees and bowed their heads to me.
“Pleased to meet you,” grunted one of the trolls.
“How are you today, sir?” asked the other.
I quickly turned my head away from them. I certainly wanted no part of leading these evil creatures. “What’s behind the door?” I asked, as Soliah removed a large skeleton key from the wall and inserted it into an ancient lock. The lock made an audible click.
“This is what we came down to see. This, my boy, will absolutely blow your mind.”
The door slowly swung open and I was amazed to see a great forest and a small village of wigwams next to a wide river. A small fire burned and something was cooking over it. The sun was high in the sky and I felt instantly refreshed as I stepped into the light. As I was getting ready to run, Soliah caught me with an iron claw. “Hold on,” he said. “Not so fast. First, you and I have to come to an understanding. This, what you see before you, is forever. You, my boy, are the only person standing between this door and the People that live here. If you agree to my terms, without reservation, then they will continue to live here until the end of eternity. That is the only way those earrings will come off. You have to want to give them to me.”
“Take them,” I said. “Nobody is stopping you.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Huckleberry. If that were true, I would already be wearing them. I’m going to do you a favor. Go and spend a few hours with them. Think of it as a last chance to say good-bye. You see, I’m not such a bad guy, after all. I do have my moments. Just remember, if I don’t have those earrings in my hand when I come back for you, this is all over for them. They will spend eternity on the other side of this door.”
“I believe you,” I said, a tear falling from my cheek as I spotted Otis and Goober.
Soliah produced a large hourglass from out of thin air. He grinned and then flipped it over and set it down on the dirt. I looked away from him. “I’ll be back when the last grain of sand has fallen. Don’t try to run, it won’t do any good and they will pay the price for any foolishness.”
I turned to respond, but Soliah was gone. So was the door, the stone wall and any sign that they had ever been there. All that remained was the hourglass and a small pile of sand at the bottom. I took a breath and ran toward my friends.
“Dude!” cried Otis, just as I ran up and threw my arms around his neck.
Goober jumped up on his hind legs and placed his paws on my shoulders. He then slobbered my face as I laughed. Tears fell like rain as we rejoiced at our reunion. Something scampered up my leg and climbed up my shirt. I looked down and saw Red, and he suddenly squealed with joy. He climbed to my shoulder and began to lick my ear.
“Where have you been?” Goober asked, finally settling back to his four paws. “We’ve been really worried about you, Huck.”
“Wait until the Oddfather sees you, man,” said Otis. “He’s going to shit his pants.”
“Man Killer is going to be so happy,” chirped Red. “She looks for you every day.”
“Where are they?” I asked, scanning the horizon. “When will they be back?”
“Tomorrow,” said Goober. “They all went to the buffalo fields, the entire village. I’m afraid you’re stuck with us until then.”
“Don’t look so blue, brother,” said Otis. “It ain’t the end of the world.”
I felt dizzy and I quickly sat down and put my head in my hands. The sobs erupted from the deepest place in my heart and I covered my face in agony. I knew they were watching me, waiting for me to put my emotions in check. How could they have any idea, as to what the truth really was? I would never see my grandfather, or my wife, ever again. Wherever the buffalo fields were, I doubted that we could get there in an hour. The thought made me unbearably sad. The bottom had fallen out of my world, quite literally.
I knew I couldn’t spend my last hour here crying like a baby. I got up and walked down to the riverbank where I stuck my hea
d in the cool water and slowly began to pull myself together. Otis, Goober, and Red, stood where they had been, looking a little confused and I knew that I needed to tell them something. I thought that maybe if I just told them some of what I knew, it would be better than leaving them in the dark. I rubbed my face and shook my head, I then walked back up to join them.
“Go on, spit it out,” Otis said, sitting back on his hind legs.
“I can’t stay long,” I said, wondering how much I should tell them. “I’ve got to go back to my place and time and I don’t know if I’ll ever see you guys again.”
“Soliah,” hissed Goober. “What has he done to you this time?”
“Nothing that concerns you; I need you guys to promise me that you’ll tell Man Killer and my grandfather how much I love them. I was hoping to do it, myself.”
“We could help you,” said Red, who had climbed up on my shoulder. He sunk his little paws into my cheek. “We won’t let anyone take you away, will we boys?”
“Not while I’m still standing,” agreed Goober, who was pacing between me and Otis. “I’ll put a call out to the pack, what we need are reinforcements.”
“Good idea,” said Otis. “We need an army. How long do we got?”
“No,” I said. “You don’t understand. There isn’t anything you can do.”
I had never heard Goober howl with such an urgency. The howl started low and throaty, but the pitch gradually increased and the last notes were off the scale. The sound hurt my ears and had probably carried for ten miles.
Red scampered down from my shoulder and dashed away without saying another word. I knew where he was heading and my heart broke because of it. One squirrel or ten thousand, it wasn’t going to matter.
“Look at me, Huck,” barked Goober. “How long do we have?”
“An hour…actually, a little less than that.”
“We have an hour. Otis, you know where they’re at. I need you to run like you’ve never run in your life. You need to find the Oddfather.”
“You’re kidding, right? I’m supposed to just prance out to the Happy Hunting Grounds and find Odd Whitefeather? What do you suppose they do when they’re over there, play checkers?”
“It’s the only way!” Goober growled. “I thought whitetail bucks were supposed to be sneaky.”
“We are, and I’m the sneakiest buck in the forest. Okay, Goob, I’ll find them. I just have one question, what’s an hour?”
“I don’t know, just hurry up! And don’t call me Goob!”
“Goob-Goob-Goob-Goob!” snorted Otis as he bounded away across the river and into the woods.
“That guy really knows how to get under my fur.”
We were alone and I sat back in the tall grass and stared into the bluest sky that I had ever seen. Goober trotted over and squatted down next to me. “Okay, Huck, I need you to start from the beginning and tell me everything. We can figure this out, just the two of us. I can be pretty sly when I put my mind to it. I have to know what we’re up against.”
I knew it was hopeless, but somehow they had given me hope. I continued staring into that bluest of skies, and I began to recount everything that had happened since I had last seen him. I told him about the unseen wall and what waited on the other side. I went on to tell him about Soliah’s desire for the earrings and about how I needed to give them to him, without reservation. When I had finished I found that I felt a whole lot better. I sat up and looked at Goober, who had begun to pace again.
“Okay, so what do you think will happen when he comes back? Do you think he’ll come in through that door you mentioned? Show me where it is, come on.”
“I don’t see it, anymore. It’s over there, somewhere,” I gestured with my hand, pointing toward where I thought I had entered their world.”
“By that funny-looking glass thing?”
“Yeah.”
Goober trotted off and inspected the area. Satisfied, he lifted his leg above the hourglass and stood there for nearly thirty seconds. He then hurried back to where I sat, looking quite pleased with himself. I could clearly see that half of the sand had already passed to the bottom chamber.
“Otis will never get back in time,” I said.
“Who needs Otis? You and I are going to take on whatever comes through that door. Do you understand that? We’re not going to go down like a couple of cowards. This is it Huck, this is what separates the pups from the big dogs.”
“This is my fight. I’m not going to get you involved. Let me handle Soliah.”
“Right,” growled Goober. “And you’ve done such a good job of that, haven’t you, kid? I’ll bet Soliah is just shaking in his boots. You’re not going to tuck your tail between your legs, are you? Aren’t you supposed to be a man, or something? I thought that was supposed to mean something.”
“Will you knock it off? You haven’t heard a word of what I just said. He’s too powerful…”
“I’m tempted to take a chunk out of you, myself. Never give up! Being a big dog or a man is all about facing your fears and showing some courage. We’re not licked, yet. I don’t give a crap what you do. I’ll take on whatever Soliah throws at us.”
I was about to respond to that when I heard something behind me. One of Goober’s pack had snuck up behind me and was sniffing my ear. He then licked the side of my face. “You need some muscle?” he growled.
I got to my feet and gasped. The clearing was crawling with wolves. There must have been nearly a thousand that I could see. I thought that more might be lurking in the woods, or still on their way. The sight nearly took my breath away and I had my first optimistic thought of the day.
“Thanks for coming, buddy,” said Goober.
“What are friends for?” asked the other wolf.
“Oh my God,” I said. “Will you look at that?”
“Look at what?” asked Goober, turning to look in the direction I was pointing.
The grass of the prairie began to fall as if it were being pulled down by its very roots. Red suddenly bounded up my shoulder and he nuzzled his head against my cheek. “My friends are here,” he said.
A massive swarm of small furry creatures surrounded the area in which we stood.
“Holy shit,” muttered Goober. “Where did you find them?”
“I’ve got friends,” said the squirrel. “How do you want to play this?”
“We take no prisoners. Huck says that Soliah is going to come through a door over by that glass thing. He says that we can’t see it, but it’s there. I say we surround that place and attack the second he steps through that door.”
“Sounds good to me,” agreed Red. “I see that you’ve got a few friends of your own, that’s good.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” asked Goober, sticking his snout a few inches from the squirrel’s little head.
“Why do you always have to be like this? I was just trying to pay you a compliment. You don’t have to be so touchy.”
“I can’t help it; you and Otis are always trying to make me look dumb. Don’t you deny it either.”
“Wolves,” muttered Red. “You’ve got such thin skin.”
I turned away and something caught my eye from across the river. Otis stood there, proud and tall. On his back was the unmistakable form of Man Killer. Between us were ten million rabbits, squirrels, moles, mink, and badgers. I saw porcupines, beaver, muskrat, and chipmunks. They milled together in a great angry mass and I could see why Otis had stopped. He couldn’t go any further without stepping on them. “Man Killer!” I shouted, waving my hand in the air.
“That was pretty fast,” said Goober.
“Otis had better not trample any of my friends,” said Red. “They’ll take him down.”
“Tell them to move out of the way and let them through,” I nearly screamed at Red.
Red almost laughed. “You’re kidding me, right? Even if I could speak a dozen different languages at one time, they could never hear me. Look at them!”
I took
a closer look at the little animals and I could see what Red meant. They appeared to have been worked into a frenzy and some were frothing at the mouth. Their little eyes glowed and most sat on their hind legs and clawed at the air. “What’s the matter with them?” I asked. “Why are they acting so crazy?”
“You have got to understand something Huck; this is about a whole lot more than you think it is. What you’re looking at are cornered animals. They know that if we fail to defeat Soliah that it’s all over. They have families, homes, lives of their own. The important thing is that they are here. You’ll get to be with your wife, soon enough.”
I could see Otis searching frantically for a way across the open prairie. There was two hundred yards between us, but the earth was covered in brown fur and he had no choice but to remain where he was.
“Its show-time,” growled Goober. “Look what the cat just dragged in.”
While we had our backs turned, the door between the two worlds had been opened. The Soliah-devil stood on his cloven hoofs, just outside of his kingdom. One hundred yards of tall grass separated us. He held the hourglass in one of his red hands and he pointed to the empty top with the other. “Time’s up, Huckleberry,” he said, looking at us with smug contempt.
My mouth immediately became as dry as sand. I tried to speak, but I had absolutely no idea what to say. Should I walk back to the other side and bid my friends farewell? That would prevent any bloodshed. What stopped me from doing so was what Goober had said about being a man. I was done running.
“Huckleberry?” shouted Soliah, who was starting to look confused. “We had a deal. You’re going to get your friends killed. You know that, don’t you?”
The way he said that, with such complete apathy and confidence, made my blood run hot. I gritted my teeth and charged at him like a bull. The wolves took my flanks and I could feel the ground rumbling with millions of little feet. The look on Soliah’s face changed from amusement to complete shock. We covered fifty yards in no time at all and I screamed something. A wolf howled, and he was quickly joined by the others.
Much to my disappointment, Soliah wisely stepped back into his own world and he threw the door closed. Both he and the door vanished without a trace. We were less than ten yards away as I heard it slam shut. We had been that close. We slowed our charge and finally stopped after we’d stepped across where the door had been. I joined in with the wolves and growled with fury. I turned to see the wave of furry creatures slow to a crawl and was further disappointed to see that Otis and Man Killer hadn’t moved an inch. The void created by our charge had instantly been filled by more of the little animals. I secretly wished that Red wouldn’t have invited so many. I put my hands on my hips and realized that I was twice as far away from them now. Man Killer waved at me and I waved back in frustration.
The sun was high in the blue sky and a slight breeze blew through my hair. I stood there feeling helpless and a little foolish, wondering what I should do next. Suddenly, the wind began to lash out at me with such incredible force, that it nearly knocked me over. The sky instantly turned black and the air grew suffocatingly hot. I turned around and every ounce of courage left my body at once. We were doomed.
Soliah had somehow taken the wall down between our two worlds and I found myself suddenly staring into the faces of a million or more of the damned souls. They were filthy and dressed in rags, and there was blood in their eyes. They stood in the glowing red light of their world in an endless line that went as far as the eye could see in both directions. I heard Goober’s distinctive growl.
And that’s how it started.
We met head on, like two tidal waves meeting in the middle of the ocean. There were screams from both sides as death reared its ugly head. I saw the wolves tearing men to pieces, men scooping up small animals and chomping down on them with a ravenous hunger. The trolls seemed to be leading their troops as they fought. I began to punch and kick, to bite and claw, just as Otis had taught me, what seemed like years ago.
We were slowly pushed back, but not without a fight. The little creatures were hurling themselves into the faces of their attackers, and they went straight for the eyes. The tortured screaming of the blinded men and women was nearly too much to bear. They stumbled around and impeded the progress of those behind them. I punched a thin man hard in the nose and it exploded like an over-ripe plum. I watched a group of porcupines unleash their sharp quills on a group of men. The men fell on their backs in complete agony.
Still, Soliah’s army was far superior to our own. Though they were mostly unarmed, there were far too many of them and they continued to pour across the divide between heaven and hell, which is how I had begun to see it. The trolls lashed out with their clubs and maces, sending blood and fur flying in every direction. I watched four of them beat a lone wolf to a bloody pulp. We were now fighting in the village, having been pushed back some two hundred yards. The wigwams were blazing with fire and the air was thick with smoke. We were going to have to retreat across the river, there were just too many of them.
When I looked at the river I nearly cried. What had been crystal-clear water only a few minutes before, had suddenly turned into a flowing stream of molten lava. I watched in horror as more and more of our armada were driven into the lava. I gasped as I saw them instantly catch fire and burn like candles. The sound of their terrified screams rose to an ear-splitting pitch. Goober flung a man aside and joined me in a fight with three of the trolls.
“We have to get across the river,” he barked, snatching one of the trolls by a stubby leg, before tossing him like a ragdoll into the flowing lava. “Do you have a plan?”
By that time we were standing on the very bank of the orange-colored river. I could feel the heat at my back and could smell cooked flesh. I hoped it wasn’t my own. I did not have a plan and thought that we would be dead in a few seconds. I lashed out at a troll and caught the little runt with a karate chop to the throat. I turned on the last of the trolls, but Goober had him on his back, where he viscously ripped out his throat like so much spaghetti. He spit it out as the troll lay quivering on his back. “Down there,” Goober screamed, pointing like a black lab. “We can cross on those rocks!”
I looked in that direction and saw five or six large rocks that stretched out in a line across the boiling river. They had been worn flat and looked to be about ten feet apart at their widest. I had no hope that we could make it, but we had no choice but to try. Goober howled to his remaining friends and I made a grab for Red, who had his sharp teeth buried into the neck of a man without any eyes. Blood poured from the empty sockets and he clawed at thin air in agony.
“No!” screeched Red. “What are you doing?”
“We’re crossing the river!” I said. “We have to try!”
“Put me down!”
I didn’t listen to him and I felt awful about that. I knew he would rather die next to his friends, rather than abandon them on the battlefield. I followed Goober and we began to run. One hundred feet separated us from the bridge of rocks and any hope of living. Red bit my finger and I screamed with pain. He kept screeching for me to put him down, even as I followed Goober in a burst of speed as he leapt onto the first of the rocks. I timed my leap perfectly and planted both of my feet on the flat surface. I dipped down and did a bunny hop to the second rock, the largest of the group and about ten feet in circumference. Goober waited for me there.
“You bastards!” shrieked Red. “How could you do this to me? Let’s go back! I want to go back!”
“Ready?” asked Goober, completely ignoring Red. “This one is going to be tricky. Don’t stop, I think we need to keep our paws moving.”
I looked down at my feet and nodded my head. I got the point. “After you,” I said, tucking Red close to my chest. He was twisting like a cat above a tub of water and it was all I could do to hang onto him.
The heat from the bubbling river was so overpowering that I nearly fell over. The temperature had to be close to boiling and I could f
eel my skin begin to blister. I watched Goober choose a line and he threw himself onto the next rock. Without a second thought he leapt across the three remaining rocks, which looked very small from where I stood. Goober landed with bare inches to spare and he quickly turned and howled for me to jump. I took a deep breath and charged across the flat surface of the boulder. That is all I remember, but the next thing I knew I was standing next to Goober on the opposite bank. We were safe, at least for the time being.
“Oh shit,” growled Goober. “That’s got to hurt like hell.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, setting Red down where he promptly bit my left ankle. “Knock it off!” I screamed. “We would have all been killed!”
“Your face…” said Goober, his voice trailing off to a whisper.
That was when I looked at my hands and I began to silently scream. They were swollen and horribly blistered. My poor fingers looked like baked hams and even then I could feel the intense pain. But Goober hadn’t been talking about my hands and I moaned in terror.
“Serves you right!” squealed Red. “Look!”
The fighting was all but over on the other side of the boiling river. We were the only ones who had been able to cross and those we had left behind were being mercilessly slaughtered. A teardrop fell from my eye and it burned as it traveled down by blistered cheek. I went to brush it away, but Goober caught my arm softly with his teeth. “You might not want to touch your face,” he growled. “Its pretty messed up.”
I nodded, trying to imagine how I looked to them. Red was turning in circles, furious that I’d taken him across the river against his will. The victors stood on their side of the river and stared stupidly at us. They began tossing the wounded creatures into the river and they shrieked with laughter as the animals cried out in pain.
“You bastards!” screamed Red. “I’ll kill you all for this! Do you hear me! “I’ll kill you all!”
I looked to Goober, but he was slinking away, no doubt feeling shame and a great sense of loss. Once again he had lost his pack and it had been my fault. The creatures that stood on this side of the river began to part and I slowly followed Goober to where Otis and Man Killer waited. The pain seemed to double with every step I took. The walk seemed to take an eternity.
I caught Man Killer’s eye from across the sea of little animals and I could plainly see that she was horrified by the sight of me. I had become the Incredible Melting Man and I was coming to claim my terrified wife. Goober’s blackened fur was smoldering and I could smell him as we walked past the animals. They looked frightened and on the verge of an all out retreat. I couldn’t blame them a bit.
“No!” cried Man Killer as I crossed the final twenty paces to where she stood next to Otis. Just hearing her voice and seeing her expression was enough to open the flood gates. I cried like a lost child.
“Don’t!” Goober barked, but it was too late. I rubbed my right eye and what seemed like half of my cheek slid off onto my cooked fingers. I screamed in horror at the sight. I could feel my right eye droop in its socket, and half of my field of vision fell to the ground. The sensation was not unlike falling out of an airplane, or at least that is how I imagined it to feel.
Man Killer stepped back and I stopped dead in my tracks.
“Holy shit,” said Otis. “They turned you into a monster over there, didn’t they, Huck? Oh, that’s messed up, man. I’m gonna really kick some ass over this, you wait and see. Oh, that’s so gross… Oh!” And with that, Otis dropped his head and vomited into the grass. I had never seen a deer throw up before and all I wanted to do was run away. The pain and humiliation had become too much to bear. I sank to my knees and began to wail.
“My poor boy,” soothed a familiar voice. “What have they done to you?”
I slowly opened my good eye and looked into the face of my grandfather.
“The Oddfather,” a thousand animal voices spoke reverently as one.
He looked at me with so much pity that I could hardly stand it. He then stood tall and shook his fist at those who stood across the river. “You will pay for this!” he cried. “No one messes with a member of my family and gets away with it! Do you hear me?”
“Can you help me?” I begged, keeping my face turned down in shame.
“I’m so sorry, grandson, but here I am just a normal man. I think we all have lost our powers.”
Man Killer burst out in a terrible fit of grief. She ran to my side and carefully hugged my shoulders.
My grandfather kneeled down next to us. “Where are Crooked Walker and Dog Breath?”
I pointed across the river. “Over there,” I managed to say, just before I tipped over and passed out from the pain.
Chapter Twenty-Seven