“I wasn't going anywhere. You weren't going to lose me. You're never going to lose me,” I whispered. Around me, paramedics started to work. “Please, baby, don't leave me. Stay with me.” As the paramedics moved Haze onto a stretcher, I leaned close and spoke firmly in his ear, “That's an order, Soldier.”
Chapter 19
Haze
Everything in the room was fuzzy, but the familiar beeping of the heart monitor told me where I was. The hospital room slowly came into focus and as images and thoughts flashed through my mind, my pulse began to race.
Gunfire. A young soldier falling back. Blood. An explosion.
Another hospital room.
Or was it the same one?
I struggled to orient myself, my body throbbing with aches and pains. A new pain, sharper, more real, radiated from the place where my shoulder met my chest.
Not the same hospital room. I hadn't been shot before.
Why had I been shot now?
Leighton.
The memory hit me all at once.
I'd charged the man and shoved him hard back against a white wall...no a white van. The van had left. The gun went off. I'd felt the pain but hadn't acknowledged it. She was more important. I had to know that she was safe. When I'd seen she was unhurt, that help was coming, I'd tried to walk to her, but the combination of blood loss and vertigo had driven me to the ground.
She'd whispered to me then, begging me not to leave her.
“Haze?” Her voice came from the shadows. “Are you awake?”
I immediately searched the room for her, finding her as she rose from a chair in the corner. Relief flooded through me, a better painkiller than any meds. She was okay. I felt myself relax and heard my pulse start to drop back to normal. As she reached the side of my bed, I saw the circles under her eyes, the worry on her face.
“He's awake?” Devlin's voice came from the doorway.
“Yes, sir,” I said as I hit the button to raise the bed.
“How do you feel?” Devlin asked.
“Like I've been shot.” I gave him the cliché with a half-smile.
“Not funny.” Leighton scowled at me, but since she threaded her fingers between mine, I figured she wasn't too angry.
“I'm fine,” I said, squeezing her hand as I glanced at Devlin for confirmation.
“The doctor said you were extremely lucky,” Devlin said. “No major arteries hit. No bones, no nerves. The muscle's torn up and you might need to give it a bit before engaging in hand-to-hand combat again, but you only needs to stay overnight.”
“You’ve been unconscious for hours,” Leighton added.
“I'm guessing blood loss, shock, and a nice bout of vertigo.” I looked at Devlin again. “Am I right?”
He nodded. “See? Nothing serious.”
“Are you okay?” I could hear the tender note in my voice as I turned my eyes back to her.
“I'm fine.” She brushed aside my concern. “You're the one who was shot.”
“The only time she left your side since you got here was to wash off your blood and change clothes,” Devlin answered for her. “And only then because I told her it wouldn't be good for you.”
“You need to go home,” I said to her even as I pulled her hand closer to me. “Get something to eat, get some rest.”
“I'm not leaving.” She narrowed her eyes. “And you can't make me.”
“Leighton...”
“Enough!” Devlin's voice was sharp enough to startle us both. “I thought I could just wait until the two of you got over whatever the hell it is keeping you from seeing what's right in front of you, but apparently, I could be dead before that happens.”
“Grandfather...” Leighton's voice was weak.
“Dallas is posted outside the door, along with two very nice policemen,” he continued. “I'm going to give them specific instructions that neither of you are to leave this room until you've figured this out.”
I stared at him as he left. If it had been anyone other than Devlin, I would've wondered if he was serious, but I had no doubt that if either Leighton or I tried to walk out now, the men in the hall would stop us.
As the door closed, an awkward silence fell. Still, I didn't let go of Leighton's hand. I didn't want to. This wasn't how I'd planned for my life to go, not even after I'd been discharged, but I could see now that, from the first moment I'd met her, everything had been leading me back to her. Everything I thought I wanted didn't hold nearly as much sway over me as the young woman standing next to me.
“You told me to stay with you,” I said quietly.
“I did.”
I looked at her, but she was looking down at our hands.
My chest tightened painfully as I asked the question that would determine where things went from here. “Do you still want me to stay with you?”
She nodded as she raised her eyes to meet mine. “Please don't leave me.”
I raised our hands to brush my lips across her knuckles. “A good soldier never disobeys orders.”
Chapter 20
Leighton
When I woke, the sky outside the hospital room was pink with the rays from the rising sun. Haze's breathing was heavy and regular under my cheek, and his good arm was wrapped around my waist. I carefully moved my hand away from the white gauze that covered his wound, not wanting to cause him any pain.
I never wanted to hurt him, physically or in any other way. After our brief exchange after Grandfather left, we hadn't done much talking, but we hadn't needed to. I'd given him a light kiss and he'd pulled me onto the bed next to him, tucking me against his side. And we'd laid there, not talking, not moving, just being with each other.
The nurses and doctor who'd checked in periodically hadn't been pleased to find me in his bed, but they didn't say anything. Being a Machus did have its advantages.
I gently ran my hand down the firm ridges of his abdomen, and then back up his bare arm. The feel of Haze's skin beneath my fingertips was electrifying, even more so now that I knew he was mine. I wriggled closer to enjoy the sensation of his body pressed to mine.
“If you keep that up, I'm going to embarrass myself in front of the doctor,” Haze murmured, his arm tightening around me.
“He said he'd check in at five o'clock,” I countered, running my hand back down his stomach and enjoying the way the muscles tensed under my touch. “We still have a few minutes.”
“Leighton...” My name was equal parts warning and wanting.
Fortunately, the door opened before anything could happen to embarrass either of us. Without a word, I disentangled myself from Haze and climbed off the bed, stretching my sore muscles.
“Well, you certainly have more color in your face,” Dr. David said with a teasing smile. “You weren't looking so great yesterday.”
“What's my timeline like, doc?” Haze asked as he held his hand out to me.
“If you're careful not to overexert yourself and reopen the wound, it should heal fine. You'll have a small scar unless you want to speak to a plastic surgeon.”
Haze shook his head, his eyes darting toward me and then back to the doctor. “I'm proud of how I got it.”
“You should be,” Dr. David said. “People talk about taking a bullet for someone else, but you actually did.”
I squeezed Haze's hand. “Idiot,” I muttered.
Dr. David laughed. “Come back in a week so I can check on the stitches and then we'll see if we can get a date to have them removed.”
“When can I get back to work?”
My heart skipped a beat. I felt safe with Haze, but I didn't want him to be my bodyguard anymore. I didn't want him putting himself in danger because of me.
“I would tell you that you should take it easy for at least three or four weeks, but I have a feeling that wouldn't do any good.” The doctor gave Haze a stern look. “I know your type.” He looked at the chart and then back at Haze. “You know your body, Soldier. But I don't want you pushing it.”
“Understood,” Haze said.
To my surprise, Dr. David looked at me. “As for you, I'm prescribing at least two days rest before you come back to the center. The men are all worried about you and they'll have my ass if I don't make sure you're okay.”
“But he can go home?” I asked.
Dr. David nodded. “I'll get the paperwork.”
Less than an hour later, Dallas pulled up in front of the guest house where Haze lived. The police had a squad car parked in front of the gate, but inside, Grandfather's security was taking care of everything.
Everything except Haze. He was mine to care for.
While we waited to be discharged, I'd been busy on the phone, making arrangements. A bag of my clothes was already in the guest house and Shandra had a refrigerator full of food that only needed to be put in the oven. Since Haze couldn't drink alcohol with the painkillers he was taking, Shandra had also gone out and bought all of his favorite energy drinks. All Haze and I had to do was walk inside.
“Do you want something to eat?” I asked, suddenly nervous as we entered the kitchen.
“No.” Haze's eyes were dark as he looked at me. He reached out and pulled me to him with his good arm. Our lips met and a sigh escaped. I kept my hands around his waist, afraid to be too rough, but his mouth was far from gentle as he bit my bottom lip. His hand tangled in my curls, holding my head firmly as his tongue explored my mouth. I could feel the tension in his body and it matched my own.
“I want you,” he said finally, his voice rough. “I need you.”
“I need you too.” I put my forehead on his chest. “I just don't want to hurt you.”
“Let me worry about that,” he said, tugging on my hair until my head tilted back. “I need to be inside you, sweetheart.”
Fuck me. How was I going to argue with that?
And, to be honest, I didn't want to. I hated the idea of him hurting himself, but I trusted him to make this happen and make it good for both of us.
He brushed his lips across mine, and then released me, only to take my hand a moment later.
“I want to do this right this time,” he said as he led me up the stairs and into his bedroom.
When he turned toward me, my heart twisted at the expression on his face. There was fierce hunger, but also the sort of tenderness that one wouldn't have expected from a muscled, tattooed Special Forces veteran.
He cupped my chin and bent his head, taking my mouth in a sweet, gentle kiss. “That should've been our first kiss,” he murmured against my lips. “How I should have kissed you the moment I pulled you from the pool.”
He took a step back and reached down to grab the bottom of his shirt. He frowned even as I realized what the problem was.
“Let me,” I said.
He was quiet as I undressed him, but I could feel his eyes on me. I could almost feel the electricity between us. When he was naked, he sat on the bed, using his good arm to push himself back until he was resting against the headboard. His gaze was hot as I quickly stripped, my need to feel his skin against mine suddenly more urgent than I'd ever felt before.
I climbed on the bed, deja vu washing over me as I moved to straddle his lap.
“Just like the first time,” he said, as he put his hands on my hips. “Except I'm not going anywhere in the morning. Or ever.”
I reached down and took him in my hand, stroking the firm flesh even as it swelled. I raised up on my knees and moved over him. “And this time, I don't want anything between us.”
He reached up and cupped the side of my face, his thumb moving across my bottom lip. “Do you have any idea how long I've wanted this?”
I couldn't wait any longer. With a long moan, I took him deep inside, letting each inch of him stretch me too fast. He swore as I came to rest in his lap, his fingers flexing against my skin.
“How long?” I asked, breaking the silence.
“What?” He looked confused.
“How long have you wanted this?”
He hesitated, as if there was something about his answer that he wasn't sure he wanted to share. I saw it on his face as he made his decision.
“From the first moment I held you in my arms,” he confessed as he started to move my hips ever so slightly. “If you hadn't kissed me that night, I still would've wanted you.”
My heart thudded in my chest. He wanted me then? Back when I'd been nothing but a spoiled child?
“And I've wanted you every day and night since.” He leaned his head forward to flick his tongue across my nipple. “Dreamed about you.”
I moaned as he began to suck on my nipple, and I moved against him, with him, feeling the taut slide of him, the exquisite friction. I wanted Haze, all of him and I wanted to feel every heavenly millimeter. His injured arm stayed low, his wide hand tugging at my waist, while his other hand reached up to tangle in my hair.
“You dreamed about me?” My voice was breathless, but I wanted to know more.
He nodded. “You kept me sane over there. Thinking about you.”
“While you weren't hooking up with the locals,” I teased.
He still, his expression serious. “I didn't do that.”
I frowned. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean...”
“I wasn't with anyone over there,” he said quietly. “And anyone I was...with when I was on leave, it was never anything...”
I put my hands on his face. “You're here with me now. That's all that matters.”
He gave me a soft smile. “You don't get it, do you? From the first moment I saw you, I haven't been able to get you out of my head. It's only you, Leighton. It's always been only you.”
I leaned forward, taking his mouth in a fierce kiss as I started to move again. I wrapped my arms around his neck, dug my fingers into his hair. How could he have wanted me after all I'd done? After I'd made Haze stand outside while Ricky and I...
He had to know how I felt. It was all I had to give him.
“I love you,” I pulled my mouth away long enough to gasp the words.
The words were his undoing. I felt Haze's climax as he lost himself inside me. He pulled my lips back to his.
“I love you too.”
As he took my mouth again, his arm slid around my waist, holding me tight even as the motion rubbed my clit almost too hard. I cried out as the near-painful pleasure pushed me over the edge. He held me as I shuddered in his arms, and I knew I was safe.
The past didn't matter.
He'd never let me go.
Chapter 21
Leighton
I woke up tucked into the crease between Haze's heavy arm and his warm body. As soon as I stirred, he pulled me close, his wide hand flexing on my bare hip. I wriggled closer so I could press my lips to the relaxed pulse in his throat and licked my lips when his stubble made them tingle. I studied the strong lines of his face, a swell of desire and pride going through me at the thought that he was all mine.
Then my gaze moved down to his body and bolted upright. “Haze!” I punched him in his good arm.
“What? Where?” His eyes flew open even as he moved to put himself between me and danger. He frowned when he realized we were alone. He looked at me, confused. “What's wrong?”
“Your bandage is all bloody.” I climbed out of bed and started pulling on my clothes. “We've got a full first aid kit up at the house. I'll go get it.”
Haze looked down at his bandage, his crooked smile clearly saying he wasn't concerned about the blood soaking through. He tugged at the wrapping experimentally. “It’s not bad. Probably just pulled at the stitches a bit during last night's, ah, celebration.”
“I'm so sorry,” I said as I came around the bed and took his hand. “I tried to be gentle.”
“Why don't you try again?” Haze tugged me down onto him, his lips immediately finding mine.
I let myself give in to the heat of his mouth, the scrape of his teeth across my lips, but when his hand slid down my back to my ass, I sighed and rolled off of him.
?
??No, Haze. I volunteered to be your nurse and I'm going to do it right,” I said, trying to make my voice as stern as possible. I headed for the door despite my body's protests. “Don't move. You're getting breakfast in bed.”
When I returned to the guest house twenty minutes later with the first aid kit and a breakfast tray Shandra had made, Haze was pacing his bedroom like a caged tiger.
I frowned at him. “I wasn't gone that long, was I?” I set the tray down on the dresser.
“It's not your nursing, sweetheart,” Haze said with a tight smile. “I'm not a good patient. You should've volunteered for an easier post.”
I poured us each a cup of coffee and led him to the balcony table. “I'm happy right where I am, even if you prove to be difficult.”
He sat down and gave me a strange look. “Speaking of volunteering, is that what you were doing at the center? You mentioned something about a project before...”
“We don't have to talk about that day,” I said quickly before I took a sip of my coffee.
“Dr. David said the men were asking about you. I got the impression it wasn't from some one time visit,” Haze continued. His tone took on a lighter note. “I have to admit, you would've made physical therapy a lot easier to deal with.”
I looked down at my plate and picked apart a cherry tart. “A couple days ago, I went there to talk to someone about...an idea I had. The guys reminded me of Ian, so I started talking to them. I didn't see it as volunteering.”
“That's why you're so good at it,” he said. “Plenty of people volunteer because they want everyone to recognize how good they are. You're there for them.”
“That's true, but I get something out of it too,” I said. “It makes me feel closer to Ian.” And because I didn't want to lie to him, I added, “And I have to admit, I love the attention.”
Haze reached over and caught my hand. “That's not a bad thing, Leighton. And, honestly, I'm jealous. I'm gone for a few days, and you find where you belong.”
I squeezed his hand, emotion welling up inside me. I wanted to tell him that it was because of him I'd even wanted to find myself in the first place. But I didn't. I had a couple questions of my own.