Every which way but East
A Tom Fletcher novel
Retired, bored, bald Tom Fletcher uncovers another dastardly plot to change the laws of probability. Pausing only to take part in a Speed Dating evening, he is soon creating havoc across multiple universes dressed as a duck.
Can Tom beat the Smiths? Will he find love? Can he play darts? What's a duck got to do with anything?
This book should only be read by people with a sense of the absurd.
Copyright Barnaby Wilde. July 2012
Quirky Poems by Barnaby Wilde
Visit www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk for more information, to view samples or to download the following poetry ebooks by Barnaby Wilde.
Animalia
A collection of quirky verses on a vaguely animal related theme. If you like armadillos, elephants, camels, or chameleons, or if you have ever yearned to own your own yak, then this is the book for you.
Copyright 2011 by Barnaby Wilde
Life…
A collection of verse loosely related to life, living, getting older and losing things. If you wonder why there are 87 bottles in your bathroom, or where socks go when they die, or how you will know when you are middle aged, then this might be the book for you.
Copyright 2011 by Barnaby Wilde
The Blind Philosopher and the God of Small Things
A collection of verse full of weak puns and jokes, loosely related by two men with long white beards.
Copyright 2012 by Barnaby Wilde
Not at all Rhinocerus
A collection of quirky verse by Barnaby Wilde which is not at all rhinoceros. (Well, maybe just a little bit, at the end).
A miscellany of weak puns, old jokes and a sense of the ridiculous, including 'A pyschiatrist's guide to empathetic garden design', 'Two flies walking on a bald man's head', and 'Acupuncture is a jab well done' amongst others.
And absolutely no mention of rhinoceros (OK. perhaps a very little bit at the end).
Copyright 2012 by Barnaby Wilde
A Little Bit Elephant
A collection of quirky verse which has nothing to do with elephants (OK, it has a little bit of elephant, but that's all).
Another miscellany of puns, jokes and strange ideas, including verses about kitchen appliances, carpets, cabbages, sheep and just a tiny mention of elephants
Copyright 2012 by Barnaby Wilde
Tunnel Vision
Another collection of quirky verse featuring some longer verses on subjects as diverse as flying saucers, fear of flying and dining room tables. Pausing along the way to ask, what if whales could fly? and do you need more than two pairs of shoes? Featuring 'The Ballad of Wayne and Bill' and 'Flying Over the Atlantic'. Puns and jokes as usual.
Copyright 2012 by Barnaby Wilde
The Well Boiled Icycle
35 New 'quirky' poems by Barnaby Wilde featuring Clockwork Wellingtons, Goldfish, Jugglers and Gingerbread Men, but not necessarily in that order, (and not a mention of elephants).
Copyright 2012 by Barnaby Wilde
Short Stories by Barnaby Wilde
Barnaby's Shorts (Volume 1)
Ten coffee break sized short stories with a touch of gentle humour, a smidgen of sci fi, and even a morality tale. Find out about The Monkey Faced Boy, The woman who grew herself a man from a bean and even a story about cardboard boxes.
These bite sized stories are just right for dropping off to sleep with when you go to bed, or reading on the train on your way to work. Something for everyone.
Barnaby's Shorts (Volume 2)
Ten further coffee break sized stories including gentle humour, a touch of sci fi, a smidgen of romance and an air of mystery. Stories include The Running Boy, The Magician's Cabinet, The Turing Test and The Case of the Missing Spray Cleaner.
Short stories ideal for lulling you to sleep at bedtime or reading on the train on your way to work.
Is it possible for an author to become trapped in a Kindle? What if you were being stalked by the Invisible Man? and where exactly do people go when magician's make them disappear?
Barnaby's Shorts (Volume 3)
Ten more coffee break sized stories with the usual mix of sci fi, humour, romance, mystery and adventure.
Why is Jack running, jumping, never standing still? Who is Dottie's Guy? Why does Jethro need a tractor to move house?
Also includes another story from the Vertigo Research Labs and a tale about tiny dragons.
Copyright Barnaby Wilde. July 2005
Barnaby Wilde is the pen name of Tim Fisher.
Tim was born in 1947 in Hertfordshire, United Kingdom, but grew up and was educated in the West Country. He graduated with a Physics degree in 1969 and worked in manufacturing and quality control for a multinational photographic company for 30 years before taking an early retirement to pursue other interests. He has two grown up children and currently lives happily in Devon.
Visit https://www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk for the author's blog and more information about the world of Barnaby Wilde.
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