Chapter 25
The tree house laser shield had been dropped, allowing Squidget passage in through the little window. He was jabbering ten-to-the-dozen with his tail standing up on end like a well used toothbrush.
‘Stop stressing, Squidget, you will end up bouncing through the roof with that magic ointment on your feet.’
‘Yes, I know master, but…’
‘No buts about it my friend. We know he’s waiting, and we know that the woods have already been half destroyed. If you would stop carrying on like a gibbering idiot for the moment, we could get down there and sort him out before it gets too dark outside.’
‘Sort him out, y-you mean you are going to sort him out!’ Squidget chattered.
‘Yes, just like I said.’
‘Oh well, okay then.’ He bounced to a steady vibrating standstill, checking from left to right as if unsure of exactly what to do next.
‘Bye-bye squirrel.’ Chimzen waved, then shooed the fluffy creature out of the window.
‘But, but…’
‘No buts, Squidget!’ everyone cried out in song. The squirrel glanced quickly from left to right, worked up a bit of a bounce, and shot out of the window screaming in delight.
‘That squirrel can get a bit much sometimes,’ Chimzen sighed, exhausted from his seemingly endless journey.
‘Okay boys, are you ready then?’
‘Yes sir!’
‘Don’t forget, whatever you do, don’t take any chances with this man; stick to my side like glue. Is that clear?’
‘Yes sir!’
‘Don’t ever underestimate my cousin’s cunning ability. Mathias is a very clever man.’
‘Yes sir!’
‘And stop “yes sirring” me for goodness sake; I’m not a Captain in the army.’
‘Yes s…,’ the boys started, overwhelmed by the exhilaration that came attached to their final confrontation.
‘Trio prepare for teleport!’
‘Yes sir!’ The silver balls giggled amongst themselves like three naughty children.
The three stood in their usual teleport stance, while the Malco balls whizzed around them to plot a precise teleport position. Speedily they flew out through the window, and scanned the terrain below to spot Mathias’s exact location.
‘There he is,’ Zip squeaked, spotting him pacing back and forth in frustration near his roofless dwelling hole.
They landed nearby, watching carefully to make sure that he hadn’t spotted them. A few moments later the teleport pyramid was formed, and the group appeared not very far off from Mathias’s dusty turned back.
* * * * * * * *
Chimzen stood calmly with a schoolboy clutching him on either side.
‘There’s no need to fear, boys,’ he reassured, winking and nudging them to the side. ‘You will be quite safe with me.’
They felt comforted by his bold reassurance and wizardly confidence, and stepped away feeling slightly more relaxed.
‘Mathias!’ Chimzen rapped.
The dark wizard stopped dead in his tracks, and paused momentarily. Then he turned to face Chimzen with a sinister smirk slanted across his face.
‘My darling cousin, how very pleasant to see you again,’ he welcomed with a note of sarcasm in his voice.
‘I wish I could say the same ,Mathias,’ Chimzen spoke solemnly, locking his gaze in preparation for a deadly duel.
‘I see you have had much success with the restoration of my priceless pet projects.’
‘Your pet projects?’
‘Yes MY pet projects. The ones YOU stole from ME; remember. MY projects, MY belongings, YOU stole from me!’
‘I stole from you?’ Chimzen asked calmly, taking deep breaths to control his welling rage.
‘Have you gone deaf? What part of stealing don’t you understand, my self-righteous-holier-than-thou cousin? Nothing but a common thief, that’s what you are. A good for nothing common thief.’
‘Look at this place, just look at it!’ he ranted, waving his hands at the barren soil like a raving lunatic. ‘And it’s all your fault!’ He pointed a filthy talon at Chimzen in condemnation.
‘How do you figure that, Mathias?’ Chimzen responded, looking surprisingly very relaxed.
Frank and Philip watched them while they argued, or should I say, while Mathias argued. Their stomachs were twisted in knots, and the evil wizard’s ranting caused waves of terror to ripple down their spines.
‘His bark is worse than his bite,’ Chimzen whispered, ‘don’t let him see that you are afraid.’
‘I’m talking to you, dammit!’ Mathias roared, almost tearing his blue streaked hair out at the roots, ‘what’s this, a private picnic or something?’
‘Sorry, did you say something?’ Chimzen asked politely, resuming focus on his fuming relative.
‘This mess is your fault, I said!’ he repeated more urgently, advancing towards Chimzen like a hyena about to steal from a lion’s lunch. The ordeal was starting to make him squirm about like a worm on a hot plate, attracted by the warmth of sweet revenge, yet unable to handle the slow rising heat. ‘If you hadn’t stolen what belonged to me in the first place, I would never have sought my revenge on you. Now my precious underground home is ruined, and it’s all your fault.’
Chimzen stroked his beard and gazed upwards, pretending to be lost in thought. Then he returned his condescending stare and said, ‘And since when did they become your property?’
All the questions were only infuriating Mathias all the more. He was starting to behave like a child born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Never taught love through firm discipline. With no self-respect or respect for others. He was always right, and could not be taught anything because he already knew it all. And that is exactly who he was: a spoilt rotten child, now a grown man contaminating the lives of others.
‘Like the rotten stench drifting from a witch’s brew,
Hatred contaminates the air of love in you.’
The ranting wizard was only a couple of footsteps away, and the boys caught a whiff of his putrid breath. His foul smelling odour flooded their noses, and reminded them of the terrifying monkey transformation that took place in his underground den. They shrank down in fear and hastily paced back a couple of steps. As for Chimzen, he didn’t even blink. Instead, he held a firm stare, stood firmly in position, and answered everything that his wicked cousin spat at him with another question.
Mathias knew that he was incredibly powerful, but being the know-it-all that he was, he would do his utmost to take the victory that day, and finally destroy his meddlesome cousin once and for all.
Then quite unexpectedly he leapt forward, grabbing Frank in a high tackle, and took off into the air like a B52 bomber plane, yelling at the top of his voice. ‘This is my property, and now I’m taking it back!’
Frank had a nasty fright when he was suddenly whipped up into the air. He was unable to grasp what had just happened, and flew alongside Mathias in stunned silence. He held onto him firmly like a sky diver taking a first jump with the aid of a professional. He could feel Mathias’s belly shaking on his as he broke into a fit of hysterical laughter. A few seconds later Frank became irrational with panic, and tried to pry himself free from the talon grip.
‘Stop struggling, boy!’ Mathias demanded, gnashing his teeth together. ‘If you misbehave, I will just have to let you go, and I’m quite sure that you wouldn’t like that very much, now would you? From this height you will splat open on the ground like a rotten egg.’
Chimzen’s heart pounded in fright. His face had suddenly turned pale. He stared after them in frantic disbelief. He shook his head to snap back to the reality of the situation, and immediately commanded the trio to catch them before it was too late. Mathias made a wide turn, and flew past them in a low swooping circle, cackling at Chimzen like a hyena. Then he headed speedily towards the outer perimeter in an attempt to exit the woods.
But the Malco trio were snappy silver, and they spun after him like grease
d lightning. Frank decided to stop struggling after having visualised his splattered remains lying on the ground beneath. The trio had the two surrounded in a matter of seconds, and hastily enclosed them in a yellow triangular pyramid, with the same solid surface as the one projected to form a hoverboard. They would have quite gladly used deadly laser walls to capture the conniving troll, but they had to bear Frank’s safety in mind. The Malcos were creatures of light, and the pyramid reflected a bright luminous yellow on the inside.
‘Damn you, goon-balls!’ Mathias roared, slamming into the solid Malco wall at a dangerous speed, and crashing to the base in head exploding agony. An unsuspecting Frank never banged his head at all, since he was clutching Mathias lower down his body at the waist; instead, he had the pleasure of Mathias dropping on top of him like a sack of rotten potatoes.
‘Sorry Frank,’ Zip squeaked, ‘but there was unfortunately absolutely no other way of doing this.’
‘Shnot-a-sprobem,’ Frank moaned, suffocated by the enormous stinking lump.
Mathias clutched his head, groaning and muttering to himself in agony.
‘Getsh offsh me,’ he complained, struggling to force the wizard monster over to one side. Frank gasped for air, while Mathias let out a blood-curdling yell. The goon wizard had rolled over to one side and bashed his head on the adjoining pyramid wall.
‘Damn you, Malco-Maniac-silver-toffee-nose-blinking-balls!’
‘Do you think he’s upset, Zen?’ Zip joked.
‘Maybe just a little,’ Zen replied, holding back the giggles.
Mathias stood to his feet still holding his head with one hand, cursing the trio’s very existence in a wild fit of slandering. Frank was still gasping for precious oxygen, and was brutally shoved to one side of the Malco prism by a smelly leather shoe.
‘You will pay for this, you will pay with your mercury silver lives,’ Mathias ranted, ignoring the sharp stabbing pain on his head while he fumbled frantically to open the brass button on his jeans.
He finally unfastened the button and slipped his hand into his flying trousers. It appeared almost as though a cockroach or a biting insect had been nibbling at his privates, the way he fidgeted about in his drawers in sheer desperation.
‘Aha, there you are!’ he cackled with glee, wiping his filthy hair back over his head like a well used floor mop. ‘Now you will pay!’
He suddenly retrieved the famous pistol loaded with yellow goo, and aimed it down towards Zen and promptly fired it at the unsuspecting ball like a trigger-happy maniac. He only hoped to destroy the entire trio in three swift squirts, but being a bit disoriented, he never realized that he had been transported back to Chimzen’s feet already.
‘Trapdoor release!’ Zen yelled. The pyramid floor promptly disappeared, and the trio launched upwards like a shuttlecock on steroids, and immediately disengaged. The wicked wizard, Frank, and the blasted yellow goo all landed in a heap right at Chimzen’s feet. Fortunately they were only a couple of feet from the ground, so when they hit the dirt, they caught more of a fright than anything else.
‘Good to see you back, cousin,’ Chimzen remarked, not looking in the slightest bit concerned. ‘Are you alright, Frank? You look a bit shaken, boy.’
Frank lay in a pile of soft sand, and stared at Chimzen, looking very disorientated.
‘Go to blazes conniving cousin!’ Mathias roared, welling up with bitter hatred. ‘You, my experiment you stole, and your silver taxi brigade can all go to hell as far as I’m concerned!’
And with those words he tossed the goo pistol into the air like a baby throwing an unwanted dummy out of a pram. Unfortunately for Mathias his baggy flying jeans weren’t fastened all that well, and the button popped open from all the frantic squabbling, causing them to drop down to his ankles. His tucked in robe remained plastered to his belly with stale body sweat, and his pink spotted yellow boxer shorts were on full display for the whole world to see.
Chimzen didn’t look quite so serious anymore; in fact he and the boys were all laughing their heads off.
Mathias didn’t find it all that amusing though. His blood pressure soared to a dangerous level, and his head was throbbing even worse than it had before. Outraged, he quickly pulled up his magic jeans and flew off into the sunset.
* * * * * * * *
The trio hovered quietly above Chimzen’s head, spinning around in a peaceful circle as if nothing had even happened.
‘Let’s hope that he never comes back again Chimzen,’ Frank said, sighing with relief, and dusting his clothes.
‘He’ll be back, don’t you worry.’
‘Now I see why you didn’t want us to come along,’ Frank said, looking a bit pale and worn out. ‘I nearly died of heart failure.’
‘When do you think he will be back?’ Philip asked, his voice sounding a bit shaky.
‘Now.’
‘Now!’ Frank moaned. ‘You can’t be serious?’
‘Dead serious, my boy. You wanted to be a part of the action, now you will have to see it through.’
‘Well, alright,’ Frank grumbled, looking very weary.
‘How can you be so sure, sir?’ Philip asked.
‘Well, my boy, let’s put it like this: When you are very angry with someone – let’s say you are having an argument with them, and you feel all out to settle the score – would you be able to just walk away and disappear into the sunset?’
‘Definitely not!’ Frank interrupted, a bit hot under the collar. ‘I would want to box their ears warmly for them.’
‘Exactly!’
‘I see what you mean Chimzen,’ Philip acknowledged.
‘The one thing I believe,’ Chimzen started, gazing across the level terrain on guard for Mathias’s sudden return, ‘is that a man is only as big as his temper. Look at my cousin for example; how big a man do you think he is?’
Those words hit Frank right in the heart. He really had to do something about his own terrible temper that he himself possessed. He had to admit, Mathias wasn’t exactly the kind of person he would like to turn out to be one day.
Sure enough, the silhouette of a beastly wizard loomed in the sunset up ahead. Mathias swooped towards them like a black witch on a turbo charged broomstick, homing in for the kill.
Chimzen stood his ground, commanding the boys to step back.
‘Well, well, I guess it’s time for some serious monkey business this time,’ Mathias cackled, and began chanting his life altering rhyme:
‘Kue rare bot to kestaperance te lange!
You are about to experience a change!
Trest tra pollep see ecto lunkees!
Three people transformed into monkeys!’
While he chanted his potent spell, he produced a small bottle of steaming pink liquid. He slowed down, hovering closer to the three, his face exploding with glee.
‘This is too easy, you silly baboons!’ he roared, squirting the pink liquid over them like a miniature crop duster spraying the field.
‘Do something Chimzen!’ Philip screamed, observing the fine pink liquid squirting through the air.
‘What sort of a fool do you take me for, my boy?’ Chimzen smiled, and winked at the two terrified boys standing behind.
‘Oh no, not again!’ Frank yelled, thinking for a moment that Chimzen had lost all his senses.
* * * * * * * *
Then quite strangely, the pink monkey spray mist seemed to strike an invisible force field that surrounded the three and bounced right back up towards the unsuspecting Mathias.
The evil wizard groped his dampened garments in horror, and quickly glanced up at the clear blue sky to see if, by some freak chance, any sudden rain had fallen.
‘No, this can’t be,’ he yelled, noticing his hands were covered with a pink residue. A moment later tufts of thick hair started to sprout from his palms and face. It felt as though his jeans had suddenly grown ten times their usual size, while in fact, he was the one shrinking.
‘Damn you, Chimzen!’ he yelled, real
izing that all his spells and curses were suddenly backfiring. His thick mop of blue streaked hair suddenly exploded into short tufts of mottled brown hair, and his hands and feet rapidly shrank and formed the shape of those of a tiny monkey. His clothes suddenly exploded into thin air as he plummeted to the ground. He clutched at the air like a silly baboon trying to catch annoying flies in mid flight. He landed on his monkey butt with a thump, unable to use his newly formed limbs that were still in shock as a result of the life changing process in progress. He turned to face Chimzen and the boys, his face a picture of pain and absolute terror. Chimzen stood watching with folded arms, while the pink monkey liquid completed the transformation process with all the finishing touches that a monkey required.
‘The monkey’s little face was pale with shock, and his long tail waved in front like a hissing snake. The signature “M” tattoo remained on his cheek, and one long blue stripe ran down the length of his furry body.
‘Wow Chimzen!’ Frank marvelled at his incredible power, ‘how did you do that?’
‘What’s that “M” on his cheek for now?’ Philip interrupted, pointing at Mathias in condemnation.
‘Monkey I guess,’ Frank joked.
‘Murderer,’ Chimzen stated, using a more appropriate word for the letter “M” tattooed on Mathias’s cheek.
Mathias the monkey’s eyes were a furnace of hatred, and he still possessed his cursed snake tongue ability of speech, just like Frank and Philip had had.
‘Kee bra keesh junt hint…,’ he began with another spell.
‘Now, we can’t have him hurting himself any more than he has already, now can we?’ Chimzen spoke sternly.
‘There’s no monkey chirp with the man that talks,’ he began chanting.
‘So let it be with this hairy one, only animal sounds and noise.’
The good wizard hastily completed the spell, aiming his staff towards Mathias with a blasting hit of life changing power, to block him from ever using his cursed tongue again. So the only sound that came forth that day was a monkey’s harmless frustrated chatter.