It was a calm, clear evening in late summer as the Elizabeth Ann, ofPembray, scorning the expensive aid of a tug, threaded her way down theLondon river under canvas. The crew were busy forward, and the masterand part-owner--a fussy little man, deeply imbued with a sense of hisown importance and cleverness--was at the wheel chatting with the mate.While waiting for a portion of his cargo, he had passed the previousweek pleasantly enough with some relatives in Exeter, and was now in amasterful fashion receiving a report from the mate.
"There's one other thing," said the mate. "I dessay you've noticed howsober old Dick is to-night."
"I kept him short o' purpose," said the skipper, with a satisfied air.
"Tain't that," said the mate. "You'll be pleased to hear that 'im an'Sam has been talked over by the other two, and that all your crew now,'cept the cook, who's still Roman Catholic, has j'ined the SalvationArmy."
"Salvation Army!" repeated the skipper in dazed tones. "I don't wantnone o' your gammon, Bob."
"It's quite right," said the other. "You can take it from me. How it wasdone I don't know, but what I do know is, none of 'em has touched lickerfor five days. They've all got red jerseys, an' I hear as old Dickpreaches a hexcellent sermon. He's red-hot on it, and t'others follow'im like sheep."
"The drink's got to his brain," said the skipper sagely, after duereflection. "Well, I don't mind, so long as they behave theirselves."
He kept silence until Woolwich was passed, and they were running alongwith all sails set, and then, his curiosity being somewhat excited, hecalled old Dick to him, with the amiable intention of a little banter.
"What's this I hear about you j'ining the Salvation Army?" he asked.
"It's quite true, sir," said Dick. "I feel so happy, you can't think--weall do."
"Glory!" said one of the other men, with enthusiastic corroboration.
"Seems like the measles," said the skipper facetiously. "Four of youdown with it at one time!"
"It IS like the measles, sir," said the old man impressively, "an' Ionly hope as you'll catch it yourself, bad."
"Hallelujah!" bawled the other man suddenly. "He'll catch it."
"Hold that noise, you, Joe!" shouted the skipper sternly. "How dare youmake that noise aboard ship?"
"He's excited, sir," said Dick. "It's love for you in 'is 'eart as doesit."
"Let him keep his love to hisself," said the skipper churlishly.
"Ah! that's just what we can't do," said Dick in high-pitched tones,which the skipper rightly concluded to be his preaching voice. "We can'tdo it--an' why can't we do it? Becos we feel good, an' we want you tofeel good too. We want to share it with you. Oh, dear friend--"
"That's enough," said the master of the Elizabeth Ann, sharply. "Don'tyou go 'dear friending' me. Go for'ard! Go for'ard at once!"
With a melancholy shake of his head the old man complied, and thestartled skipper turned to the mate, who was at the wheel, and expressedhis firm intention of at once stopping such behaviour on his ship.
"You can't do it," said the mate firmly.
"Can't do it?" queried the skipper.
"Not a bit of it," said the other. "They've all got it bad, an' the moreyou get at 'em the wuss they'll be. Mark my words, best let 'em alone."
"I'll hold my hand a bit and watch 'em," was the reply; "but I've alwaysbeen cap'n on my own ship, and I always will."
For the next twenty-four hours he retained his sovereignty undisputed,but on Sunday morning, after breakfast, when he was at the wheel, andthe crew below, the mate, who had been forward, came aft with a strangegrin struggling for development at the corners of his mouth.
"What's the matter?" inquired the skipper, regarding him with somedisfavour.
"They're all down below with their red jerseys on," replied the mate,still struggling, "and they're holding a sort o' consultation about thelost lamb, an' the best way o' reaching 'is 'ard 'eart."
"Lost lamb!" repeated the skipper unconcernedly, but carefully avoidingthe other's eye.
"You're the lost lamb," said the mate, who always went straight to thepoint.
"I won't have it," said the skipper excitably. "How dare they go on inthis way? Go and send 'em up directly."
The mate, whistling cheerily, complied, and the four men, neatly attiredin scarlet, came on deck.
"Now, what's all this nonsense about?" demanded the incensed man. "Whatdo you want?"
"We want your pore sinful soul," said Dick with ecstasy.
"Ay, an' we'll have it," said Joe, with deep conviction.
"So we will," said the other two, closing their eyes and smilingrapturously; "so we will."
The skipper, alarmed, despite himself, at their confidence, turned astartled face to the mate.
"If you could see it now," continued Dick impressively, "you'd befrightened at it. If you could--"
"Get to your own end of the ship," spluttered the indignant skipper."Get, before I kick you there!"
"Better let Sam have a try," said one of the other men, calmly ignoringthe fury of the master; "his efforts have been wonderfully blessed. Comehere, Sam."
"There's a time for everything" said Sam cautiously. "Let's go for'ardand do what we can for him among ourselves."
They moved off reluctantly, Dick throwing such affectionate glances atthe skipper over his shoulders that he nearly choked with rage.
"I won't have it!" he said fiercely; "I'll knock it out of 'em."
"You can't," said the mate. "You can't knock sailor men about nowadays.The only thing you can do is to get rid of 'em."
"I don't want to do that," was the growling reply. "They've been with mea long time, and they're all good men. Why don't they have a go at you,I wonder?"
"ME?" said the mate, in indignant surprise. "Why, I'm a Seventh DayBaptist! They don't want to waste their time over me. I'm all right."
"You're a pretty Seventh Day Baptist, you are!" replied the skipper."Fust I've heard of it."
"You don't understand about such things," said the mate.
"It must be a very easy religion," continued the skipper.
"I don't make a show of it, if that's what you mean," rejoined the otherwarmly. "I'm one o' them as believe in 'iding my light under a bushel."
"A pint pot'ud do easy," sneered the skipper. "It's more in your line,too."
"Anyway, the men reckernise it," said the mate loftily. "They don't goan' sit in their red jerseys an' hold mothers' meetings over me."
"I'll knock their blessed heads off!" growled the skipper. "I'll learn'em to insult me!"
"It's all for your own good," said the other. "They mean it kindly.Well, I wish 'em luck."
With these hardy words he retired, leaving a seething volcano to pacethe deck, and think over ways and means of once more reducing his crewto what he considered a fit and proper state of obedience and respect.
The climax was reached at tea-time, when an anonymous hand was thrustbeneath the skylight, and a full-bodied tract fluttered wildly down andupset his tea.
"That's the last straw!" he roared, fishing out the tract and throwingit on the floor. "I'll read them chaps a lesson they won't forget in ahurry, and put a little money in my pocket at the same time. I've got alittle plan in my 'ed as come to me quite sudden this afternoon. Come ondeck, Bob."
Bob obeyed, grinning, and the skipper, taking the wheel from Sam, senthim for the others.
"Did you ever know me break my word, Dick?" he inquired abruptly, asthey shuffled up.
"Never," said Dick.
"Cap'n Bowers' word is better than another man's oath," asseverated Joe.
"Well," said Captain Bowers, with a wink at the mate, "I'm going to giveyou chaps a little self-denial week all to yourselves. If you all liveon biscuit and water till we get to port, and don't touch nothing else,I'll jine you and become a Salvationist."
"Biscuit and water," said Dick doubtfully, scratching a beard strongenough to scratch back.
"It wouldn't be right to play with our constitooshuns in tha
t way, sir,"objected Joe, shaking his head.
"There you are," said Bowers, turning to the mate with a wave of hishand. "They're precious anxious about me so long as it's confined tojawing, and dropping tracts into my tea, but when it comes to a littlehardship on their part, see how they back out of it."
"We ain't backing out of it," said Dick cautiously; "but s'pose we do,how are we to be certain as you'll jine us?"
"You 've got my word for it," said the other, "an' the mate an' cookwitness it."
"O' course, you jine the Army for good, sir," said Dick, stilldoubtfully.
"O' course."
"Then it's a bargain, sir," said Dick, beaming; "ain't it, chaps?"
"Ay, ay," said the others, but not beaming quite so much. "Oh, what ajoyful day this is!" said the old man. "A Salvation crew an' a Salvationcap'n! We'll have the cook next, bad as he is."
"You'll have biskit an' water," said the cook icily, as they moved off,"an' nothing else, I'll take care."
"They must be uncommon fond o' me," said the skipper meditatively.
"Uncommon fond o' having their own way," growled the mate. "Nice thingyou've let yourself in for."
"I know what I 'm about," was the confident reply.
"You ain't going to let them idiots fast for a week an' then break yourword?" said the mate in surprise.
"Certainly not," said the other wrathfully; "I'd sooner jine threearmies than do that, and you know it."
"They'll keep to the grub, don't you fear," said the mate. "I can'tunderstand how you are going to manage it."
"That's where the brains come in," retorted the skipper, somewhatarrogantly.
"Fust time I've heard of 'em," murmured the mate softly; "but I s'poseyou've been using pint pots too."
The skipper glared at him scornfully, but, being unprovided with aretort, forbore to reply, and going below again mixed himself a stiffglass of grog, and drank success to his scheme.
Three days passed, and the men stood firm, and, realising that they wereslowly undermining the skipper's convictions, made no effort to carryhim by direct assault. The mate made no attempt to conceal his opinionof his superior's peril, and in gloomy terms strove to put the fullhorror of his position before him.
"What your missis'll say the first time she sees you prancing up an'down the road tapping a tambourine, I can't think," said he.
"I shan't have no tambourine," said Captain Bowers cheerfully.
"It'll also be your painful dooty to stand outside your father-in-law'spub and try and persuade customers not to go in," continued Bob. "Nicething that for a quiet family!"
The skipper smiled knowingly, and, rolling a cigar in his mouth, leanedback in his seat and cocked his eye at the skylight.
"Don't you worry, my lad," said he; "don't you worry. I'm in this job,an' I'm coming out on top. When men forget what's due to their betters,and preach to 'em, they've got to be taught what's what. If the windkeeps fair we ought to be home by Sunday night or Monday morning."
The other nodded.
"Now, you keep your eyes open," said the skipper; and, going to hisstate-room, he returned with three bottles of rum and a corkscrew, allof which, with an air of great mystery, he placed on the table, and thensmiled at the mate. The mate smiled too.
"What's this?" inquired the skipper, drawing the cork, and holding abottle under the other's nose.
"It smells like rum," said the mate, glancing round, possibly for aglass.
"It's for the men," said the skipper, "but you may take a drop."
The mate, taking down a glass, helped himself liberally, and, havingmade sure of it, sympathetically, but politely, expressed his firmopinion that the men would not touch it under any conditions whatever.
"You don't quite understand how firm they are," said he; "you think it'sjust a new fad with 'em, but it ain't."
"They'll drink it," said the skipper, taking up two of the bottles."Bring the other on deck for me."
The mate complied, wonderingly, and, laden with prime old Jamaica,ascended the steps.
"What's this?" inquired the skipper, crossing over to Dick, and holdingout a bottle.
"Pison, sir," said Dick promptly.
"Have a drop," said the skipper jovially.
"Not for twenty pounds," said the old man, with a look of horror.
"Not for two million pounds," said Sam, with financial precision.
"Will anybody have a drop?" asked the owner, waving the bottle to andfro.
As he spoke a grimy paw shot out from behind him, and, before he quiterealised the situation, the cook had accepted the invitation, and washurriedly making the most of it.
"Not you," growled the skipper, snatching the bottle from him; "I didn'tmean you. Well, my lads, if you won't have it neat you shall have itwatered."
Before anybody could guess his intention he walked to the water-cask,and, removing the cover, poured in the rum. In the midst of a profoundsilence he emptied the three bottles, and then, with a triumphant smile,turned and confronted his astonished crew.
"What's in that cask, Dick?" he asked quietly.
"Rum and water," groaned Dick; "but that ain't fair play, sir. We'vekep' to our part o' the agreement, sir, an' you ought to ha' kep' toyours."
"So I have," was the quick reply; "so I have, an' I still keep to it.Don't you see this, my lads; when you start playing antics with meyou're playing a fool's game, an' you're bound to come a cropper. Somemen would ha' waited longer afore they spiled their game, but I thinkyou've suffered enough. Now there's a lump of beef and some taters on,an' you'd better go and make a good square meal, an' next time you wantto alter the religion of people as knows better than you do, thinktwice."
"We don't want no beef, sir; biskit'll do for us," said Dick firmly.
"All right, please yourselves," said the skipper; "but mind, nohanky-panky, no coming for drink when my back's turned; this cask'll bewatched; but if you do alter your mind about the beef you can tell thecook to get it for you any time you like."
He threw the bottles overboard, and, ignoring the groaning andhead-shaking of the men, walked away, listening with avidity to therespectful tributes to his genius tendered by the mate andcook--flattery so delicate and so genuine withal that he opened anotherbottle.
"There's just one thing," said the mate presently; "won't the rum affectthe cooking a good deal?"
"I never thought o' that," admitted the skipper; "still, we musn'texpect to have everything our own way."
"No, no," said the mate blankly, admiring the other's choice ofpronouns.
Up to Friday afternoon the skipper went about with a smile of kindlysatisfaction on his face; but in the evening it weakened somewhat, andby Saturday morning it had vanished altogether, and was replaced by anexpression of blank amazement and anxiety, for the crew shunned thewater cask as though it were poison, without appearing to suffer theslightest inconvenience. A visible air of proprietorship appeared ontheir faces whenever they looked at the skipper, and the now frightenedman inveighed fiercely to the mate against the improper methods ofconversion patronised by some religious bodies, and the aggravatingobstinacy of some of their followers.
"It's wonderful what enthusiasm'll do for a man," said Bob reflectively;"I knew a man once--"
"I don't want none o' your lies," interposed the other rudely.
"An' I don't want your blamed rum and water, if it comes to that," saidthe mate, firing up. "When a man's tea is made with rum, an' his beef isbiled in it, he begins to wonder whether he's shipped with a seaman ora--a--"
"A what?" shouted the skipper. "Say it!"
"I can't think o' nothing foolish enough," was the frank reply. "It'sall right for you, becos it's the last licker as you'll be allowed totaste, but it's rough on me and the cook."
"Damn you an' the cook," said the skipper, and went on deck to seewhether the men's tongues were hanging out.
By Sunday morning he was frantic; the men were hale and well enough,though, perhaps, a trifle thin, and he began
to believe with the cookthat the age of miracles had not yet passed.
It was a broiling hot day, and, to add to his discomfort, the mate, whowas consumed by a raging thirst, lay panting in the shade of themainsail, exchanging condolences of a most offensive nature with thecook every time he looked his way.
All the morning he grumbled incessantly, until at length, warned by anoffensive smell of rum that dinner was on the table, he got up and wentbelow.
At the foot of the ladder he paused abruptly, for the skipper wasleaning back in his seat, gazing in a fascinated manner at some objecton the table.
"What's the matter?" inquired the mate in alarm.
The other, who did not appear to hear the question, made no answer, butcontinued to stare in a most extraordinary fashion at a bottle whichgraced the centre of the table.
"What is it?" inquired the mate, not venturing to trust his eyes."WATER? Where did it come from?"
"Cook!" roared the skipper, turning a bloodshot eye on that worthy, ashis pallid face showed behind the mate, "what's this? If you say it'swater I'll kill you."
"I don't know what it is, sir," said the cook cautiously; "but Dick sentit to you with his best respects, and I was to say as there's plentymore where that came from. He's a nasty, under'anded, deceitful old man,is Dick, sir, an' it seems he laid in a stock o' water in bottles an'the like afore you doctored the cask, an' the men have had it locked upin their chests ever since."
"Dick's a very clever old man," remarked the mate, pouring himself out aglass, and drinking it with infinite relish, "ain't he, cap'n? It'll bea privilege to jine anything that man's connected with, won't it?"
He paused for a reply, but none came, for the cap'n, with dim eyes, wasstaring blankly into a future so lonely and uncongenial that he had lostthe power of speech--even of that which, at other crises, had neverfailed to afford him relief. The mate gazed at him curiously for amoment, and then, imitating the example of the cook, quitted the cabin.
IN MID-ATLANTIC