"Remember what I said I was going to do to you?"
Matthew nodded. "Yes, please."
Jax wrapped his arms around Matthew, and murmured in his ear, "I really like this shower."
Matthew definitely liked it better now.
JAX kept his promise, making a meal out of Matthew, then following up with more hot sex that had Matthew's toes curling and his knees going weak. They dried each other off and then returned to the bedroom to get dressed in companionable silence. They didn't speak, but there was no need. As Matthew walked around the bedroom, picking out bits and pieces of his wardrobe, Jax would stop him long enough to deliver a sweet kiss. When Matthew stopped at the dresser to pick up socks, Jax walked by on his way to get his shoes and patted Matthew's ass.
Jax borrowed a hairbrush from Matthew and ran it through his hair before tying it up in a man bun. Matthew had not been a fan of the bun, but Jax quickly changed his mind on the subject. The man was too sexy for words.
In the kitchen, Jax insisted on cooking them breakfast since Matthew had made dinner. A guy could certainly get used to the sight of Jax Foster in his kitchen. Matthew sat with his cup of coffee, enjoying watching Jax move, his black jeans snug on his hips and ass. The henley was conveniently rucked up over the man's perfectly rounded ass.
"I can feel you ogling me," Jax teased, stirring the scrambled eggs.
"Do you want me to stop?"
"No." Jax glanced over his shoulder at Matthew. He waggled his eyebrows. "But that means I get to return the favor."
Matthew let out a snort. "As if I could compare."
"What are you talking about?" Jax turned, frowning at him.
"Come on, Jax. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately?"
"Sometimes. To shave," Jax muttered, turning back to the scrambled eggs.
"I wish you could see yourself the way I see you." Matthew would have never expected a man like Jax Foster to lack in self-esteem. He was incredibly talented, smart, kind, and looked like a god. How could he not see his own worth?
"And how's that?" Jax asked, his words quiet.
Matthew got up, walked over, and wrapped his arms around Jax's waist from behind. He rested his chin on Jax's shoulder. "You're an amazing man, Jax Foster."
Jax shrugged. "I have nothing to offer." He waved the spatula, indicating the apartment.
"I don't need financial security, Jax. I don't need anyone to support me, at least not in the way you think. What I do need is someone to love me. Someone who'll stand by my side, as my equal, holding my hand. I'm good at what I do. In my love life, not so much."
"Maybe you just haven't found the right guy."
Matthew came to stand beside Jax and leaned in to kiss his cheek. "Maybe I have. Maybe I just need to show him that he's everything I could have hoped for and more."
Jax turned off the stove and moved the frying pan off the burner. He turned to Matthew, drawing him into his arms, his expression troubled. "What if this guy of yours turns out to be a disappointment?"
Matthew slipped his hand around the back of Jax's nape, stroking his skin. "What if he doesn't? I'm not asking for any promises or declarations to be made. What if we just see where this takes us, huh? Please."
Jax averted his gaze, seeming to think about it. Matthew couldn't pass up the opportunity to nip at Jax's stubbly jaw.
"That's really not fair," Jax grumbled.
"Who said I play fair?" It suddenly occurred to him that maybe Jax wasn't interested in a relationship. Maybe he was having fun just having sex and keeping it casual. "But only if you want to. Be with me, I mean."
Jax turned his face to meet Matthew's gaze. "Of course I do, Matty. I'm not just here for the sex." A sly smile came onto his face. "Not that I'm complaining about the sex."
Matthew laughed. "Good. Because I'm hoping for a lot more of it."
"Okay," Jax agreed. "Now sit your butt down. It's time for breakfast."
"Yes, sir." Matthew kissed his lips before returning to his seat, thanking Jax for the wonderful breakfast he'd made. They ate together, going over their day. Matthew had a meeting with his marketing department regarding the upcoming announcement of the new spring catalogue, and a host of graphics to sign off on, plus several dozen phone calls. He promised Jax no more avocado dressing, though if it were up to Jax, Matthew would never eat another salad again. Which sounded good in theory, but considering Matthew had skipped the gym a week now, "no salads" was not in the cards.
After breakfast, they loaded up the dishwasher. They still had some time before Matthew had to head to the office. He insisted on having his driver drop Jax off at his studio after Matthew was left at the office. Jax hesitated, but Matthew reminded him it was Chris's job. He spent a good deal of his day driving people around. Jax agreed.
They'd just sat down on the couch when something occurred to Matthew. He held back a smile. "You know, now that I cooked you dinner and invited you into my bed for mind-blowing sex, I think it's only fair that you reveal your source."
Jax blinked at him. "What are you--" Realization dawned, and Jax threw his head back and laughed. "You are so freaking adorable. And that is so not going to happen."
"What?" Matthew grabbed a throw pillow and smacked Jax with it.
"Oh, it's like that?"
"You can't keep that kind of deliciousness to yourself!"
"Watch me."
Matthew went to smack him again, but Jax was too quick. He rolled off the couch, jumped to his feet, and swiped two pillows off the couch. Not waiting around to get pummeled, Matthew grabbed a second pillow and took his battle stance. He narrowed his gaze at Jax.
"When we played dodgeball in school, I'd purposefully miss you."
Matthew gasped in mock horror. "Are you saying I couldn't take a hit?"
Jax shook his head, his grin wicked. "Come on, Matty. You were a tiny little thing. If I hit you with a dodgeball, you'd have gone flying."
"Well, I'm not so little now," Matthew said, letting out a battle cry before lunging for Jax and smacking him upside the head.
Jax retaliated, ducking another of Matthew's blows and smacking his ass with a pillow. Matthew yelped and jumped back. His butt was a little on the sore side.
"You okay?" Jax asked.
"Yeah, just a little tender from someone pounding me into the mattress last night."
"Don't forget fucking you senseless this morning. Oh, the sounds you made."
Matthew's brows shot up as Jax moaned and made decadent sounds as he imitated Matthew. Matthew lunged forward, and Jax took off with a laugh. Matthew chased after him, surprised by how fast Jax was. Then again, Jax had always been faster than him. But Matthew was always better at sneaking and hiding. He also had the advantage of knowing his environment.
Jax ducked behind the huge potted tree, and Matthew behind the long couch.
"Remember those toy guns we used to play with? They had those little orange suction cup things?" Matthew asked, peeking out from around the couch.
"I remember kicking your butt then too," Jax called out before disappearing. Where the hell had he gone?
Matthew ducked behind the piano. Jax had to be somewhere around here. "We'll see who kicks whose butt."
Jax smacked him across the ass again, and Matthew yelped. "Oh, you're in trouble now, Foster."
"Please," Jax said with a laugh. "You're about as scary as a pair of fuzzy bunny slippers."
"I'll show you scary." Matthew tackled Jax onto the carpet. He couldn't remember the last time he had so much fun.
Chapter Twelve
"GOOD morning, Penny."
Jax smiled brightly at Penny, who beamed up at him when she saw him.
"Jax, how wonderful to see you again! Did you receive the gift basket?"
Jax nodded. "I did. That was really very generous of Mr. Esperanza." The man hadn't sent a gift basket so much as a small wicker boat filled with enough fancy fruits, meats, cheeses, pretzels, breads, and crackers to last him and Dale several mo
nths. There had also been expensive chocolate, coffee, champagne, red wine, white wine, and a whole cake. Jax had never seen anything like it. "I think maybe he liked the panels?"
Penny put a hand to her chest. "Are you kidding? The man has called every day to thank Matthew. He hasn't stopped gushing since they arrived. I swear I've never seen him so excited. I don't think I've seen him that happy since his daughter's wedding."
That tickled Jax. "I'm just happy he liked it."
Penny shook her head at him. "Liked? Jax, the man is ready to kiss the ground you walk on, and Martin couldn't be more pleased. Matthew's phone hasn't stopped ringing since. I think Mr. Esperanza has been boasting to anyone who'll listen." She laughed and motioned to the hall. "Matthew just stepped out to get coffee. He said for you to go on up to his office."
"Thank you." Jax took the elevator up to Matthew's floor, cheerfully greeting everyone on his way to Matthew's office. The last few weeks had been incredible. Jax spent his days working on Mr. Esperanza's panels and his evenings with Matthew. They'd make dinner together, watch TV, talk, and have amazing sex. Holding Matthew in bed after, talking to him as they fell asleep, was the highlight of his day. Matthew insisted on inviting Dale to dinner on several occasions, and although Jax had been worried, he'd agreed. Jax made Dale promise to behave himself, and to his father's credit, he had.
Jax could tell his father was a little in awe of Matthew. It was hard not to be. His dad was also kind of overwhelmed by Matthew's lifestyle. It was one thing knowing someone was a millionaire, and another thing seeing it. From Matthew's walk-in closet for his suits, which was the size of Jax's apartment, to the luxury cars parked in Matthew's private garage, the yacht, the stables and horses the man owned somewhere upstate, along with a couple of apartments and villas. The security that was always around, just well hidden. Jax tried not to think too much about it. Instead, he concentrated on Matthew.
Everyone at the office knew Jax by now, and they greeted him with bright smiles and cheerful hellos. When he reached Adam's desk, he was surprised to find it empty. Jax could count on one hand the number of times Adam wasn't at his desk when Jax arrived. Maybe he was off taking care of something while Matthew was getting coffee. Which made Jax wonder. Why was Matthew getting his own coffee? Adam was usually the one who got it for him.
Stepping into Matthew's office, Jax frowned.
"What are you doing?"
Bryce jumped with a start, shutting the drawer he'd been rummaging through. Jax was pretty sure Matthew didn't know his cousin was snooping through his drawers.
"None of your business." Bryce straightened and tugged the ends of his suit jacket.
"You're right," Jax said, smiling sweetly. "It's none of my business. It's Matthew's business. I'm sure he's given you permission to go through his desk."
Bryce rounded the desk, and it was only then that Jax saw a yellow piece of notepad paper in his hand. Had he taken that from Matthew's desk? He must have. Bryce got up in Jax's face.
"I don't know what your game is, Foster, but if you do anything to hurt my cousin, I will end you."
"Right."
Bryce narrowed his eyes. "What is it you're hoping to get out of this? Money?"
"Excuse me?" Jax curled his hands into fists at his sides. Was the jackass accusing him of using Matthew for his money?
"Come on. Let's be real here. You think a guy like Matthew is going to keep a man like you? That he's going to bring you home to his parents? Going to take you to the country club, have you on his arm at social events? Or is that what you're looking for? To be a kept man? Must be nice, huh? To be set up in a luxury apartment, expensive clothes, a nice allowance."
Jax swallowed hard, Bryce's words stinging. "You don't know what the hell you're talking about." If Matthew really thought Jax was using him for his money, he wouldn't be spending any time with Jax, much less inviting him to his apartment. Not that Jax believed Matthew thought as Bryce did. Matthew wasn't like that.
"Maybe not." Bryce slapped a piece of paper against Jax's chest, an evil grin on his face. "Or maybe I do. Either way, I think you're deluding yourself by thinking Matthew wants to keep you." Bryce left, and Jax frowned down at the slip of paper. Scripted in neat handwriting that could have been Matthew's was the heading:
Mr. Right
It was a list. Did Matthew write this? He must have. Bryce pulled it from Matthew's desk. Some of it read like Matthew. Kind, compassionate, sense of humor, likes animals especially dogs. But the rest....
"Excellent business portfolio, Ivy League, independently wealthy, excellent business prospects, no criminal record or unsavory past, from a good family. Marriage material." Jax swallowed down his heartache. Is this really what Matthew wanted? That was a stupid question. Why wouldn't Matthew want someone with all these qualities? He deserved someone who could be his equal in every way. If Matthew was looking for Mr. Right, he certainly hadn't found him in Jax Foster. Jax was all wrong.
Jax's phone buzzed, and when he looked, it was a text from Matthew.
Got held up. I'm so sorry. Need to make a stop at the bank. Meet me for lunch?
Jax walked over to Matthew's desk, opened the top right drawer, and placed the list inside. He wasn't sure if that's where it went, but it was the drawer Bryce had open when Jax walked in. After closing the drawer, Jax left the office, feeling like such an imposter as he walked out. He didn't look at anyone, ignoring their stares as he took the elevator down.
Thankfully Penny was busy with someone, and Jax didn't wait around. He hurried out into the street and walked away from Matthew's building as quickly as he could. As he headed for the subway, he texted Matthew back.
I have a meeting with a possible client. Rain check?
His phone beeped seconds later, but Jax didn't bother looking at it. He'd been such an idiot. How could he let himself get swept away in the fantasy? He didn't belong with Matthew Hart. They had been mismatched when they were kids, and they were even more mismatched now. What if Matthew had changed and Jax refused to see it? Too caught up in their past and who they used to be. Why would Matthew want him?
The thought of heading back to his office and hearing from his dad how amazing Matthew was, was not something he needed right now. He'd go to the park and just sit for a while. Maybe he was overreacting.
A couple of hours later, by the time he got back to the studio, he was feeling better. Maybe he'd work on a new piece. The moment he stepped into the office, Dale was there. His father jumped from his seat, a big smile on his face. His father was excited about something. Jax got a familiar sinking feeling. That look was always followed by one of his father's harebrained schemes, which was guaranteed to backfire and cost Jax either money or physical pain.
"It's all taken care of."
Jax eyed him. "What's taken care of?"
"The studio. Your debts. You're free, Jax!"
Jax stared at his father, his blood running cold. He remembered Matthew's text about stopping at the bank. "What the hell did you do?"
"I fixed the problem," Dale said, sounding a little more uncertain now.
"You fixed--" Jax's eyes widened when he logged into his online bank account through his bank's app on his phone. His stomach felt like it was full of lead, and he had to sit down before he fell down. "Oh my God." Jax covered his mouth. He was going to be sick. There was sixty thousand dollars in his account. Well, sixty thousand, three hundred dollars and thirteen cents to be exact, the three hundred dollars and thirteen cents having been there already. Jax couldn't stop staring at all the digits.
"You should have seen his face when I asked him. He was so damn happy. He just wanted to help you, Jax. We both wanted to help."
How could Matthew do this to him? How could he go behind Jax's back, knowing how Jax felt about taking money from him?
"There's nothing wrong in asking for a little help. Matthew can more than afford it."
Jax jumped from his chair. "That's not the point, Dad! I can't believe you did
this! Did you go to his office? I can't.... How could you?"
"What's the point in having a rich boyfriend if he can't help you out?"
Jax's hands were shaking as he paced. What the hell was he supposed to do? He couldn't keep this money. He just couldn't. "I need to give it back."
"What? Jax, are you crazy?" Dale stopped his pacing and took hold of his arms. "Think about what you're doing. If you do that, you lose everything. They'd given you until the end of the week, Jax. Without this money, we're out on the street. You've put everything into this place. This is your dream."
"And now it's time for me to grow up and accept the fact my dream was never meant to be." Jax felt the back of his eyes sting. "I was never meant to have it all. Not my own studio, not a decent apartment without fucking roaches, and not a guy like Matty. I'm a nobody with nothing. Always have been, always will be."
"Stop that," Dale demanded, cupping Jax's face. "You are not a nobody. You're my son. A good man who has put up with my bullshit for years. Say what you will, it's my fault you're in this position. You deserve so much better than this life, Jax. This isn't the kind of life I wanted for you, but don't you dare for one second think you don't mean everything to me or Matty. Son, that boy loves you."
Jax shook his head, tears blurring his vision. "He doesn't. He knows what he wants, Dad, and I'm not it."
"Jax--"
"Please, Dad. My heart can't take it."
Dale opened his mouth to reply, then closed it. He nodded instead. Jax hurried out of the shop. His heart was in his throat, and it was hard to swallow. He could see Bryce's smug grin in his head. Jax wanted to believe Matthew had done it because he cared, but what if he was intent on keeping Jax on the side? It wouldn't be the first time. He'd had boyfriends in the past who were embarrassed of him. They loved the sex, loved sneaking off to see him, but invite him out to dinner or introduce him to friends, family? Never happened. He was just some hot piece of ass to be fucked and discarded when something better came along.
Jax's voice was rough when he spoke to the teller at the bank. She looked confused but did as he requested. Several minutes later, the young woman handed him an envelope with a cashier's check for sixty thousand dollars inside.
"Could I trouble you for a sheet of paper?"
The young woman smiled politely and opened a drawer. She removed a notepad and tore off a sheet, which she slid over to him.