XI
Alack! it is not when we sleep soft and wake merrily that we think onother people's sufferings; but when the hour of trouble comes, saidJeanie Deans.--WALTER SCOTT.
"Never did apoplexy produce on mortal a more sudden or terrific effectthan did the announcement of Manon's sentence upon me. I fellprostrate, with so intense a palpitation of the heart, that as Iswooned I thought that death itself was come upon me. This ideacontinued even after I had been restored to my senses. I gazed aroundme upon every part of the room, then upon my own paralysed limbs,doubting, in my delirium, whether I still bore about me the attributesof a living man. It is quite certain that, in obedience to the desireI felt of terminating my sufferings, even by my own hand, nothing couldhave been to me more welcome than death at that moment of anguish anddespair. Religion itself could depict nothing more insupportable afterdeath than the racking agony with which I was then convulsed. Yet, by amiracle, only within the power of omnipotent love, I soon regainedstrength enough to express my gratitude to Heaven for restoring me tosense and reason. My death could have only been a relief and blessingto myself; whereas Manon had occasion for my prolonged existence, inorder to deliver her--to succour her--to avenge her wrongs: I swore todevote that existence unremittingly to these objects.
"The porter gave me every assistance that I could have expected at thehands of my oldest friend: I accepted his services with the liveliestgratitude. 'Alas!' said I to him, 'you then are affected by mysufferings! The whole world abandons me; my own father proves one ofthe very cruellest of my persecutors; no person feels pity for me! Youalone, in this abode of suffering and shame--you alone exhibitcompassion for the most wretched of mankind!' He advised me not toappear in the street until I had recovered a little from my affliction.'Do not stop me,' said I, as I went out; 'we shall meet again soonerthan you imagine: get ready your darkest dungeon, for I shall shortlybecome its tenant.'
"In fact, my first idea was nothing less than to make away with the twoG---- M----s, and the lieutenant-general of police; and then to attackthe Hospital, sword in hand, assisted by all whom I could enlist in mycause. Even my father's life was hardly respected, so just appeared myfeelings of vengeance; for the porter had informed me that he and G----M---- were jointly the authors of my ruin.
"But when I had advanced some paces into the street, and the fresh airhad cooled my excitement, I gradually viewed matters in a more rationalmood. The death of our enemies could be of little use to Manon; andthe obvious effect of such violence would be to deprive me of all otherchance of serving her. Besides, could I ever bring myself to be acowardly assassin? By what other means could I accomplish my revenge?I set all my ingenuity and all my efforts at work to procure thedeliverance of Manon, leaving everything else to be consideredhereafter when I had succeeded in this first and paramount object.
"I had very little money left; money, however, was an indispensablebasis for all my operations. I only knew three persons from whom I hadany right to ask pecuniary assistance--M. de T----, Tiberge, and myfather. There appeared little chance of obtaining any from the twolatter, and I was really ashamed again to importune M. de T----. Butit is not in desperate emergencies that one stands upon points ofceremony. I went first to the seminary of St. Sulpice, withoutconsidering whether I should be recognised. I asked for Tiberge. Hisfirst words showed me that he knew nothing of my latest adventure: thismade me change the design I had originally formed of appealing at onceto his compassion. I spoke generally of the pleasure it had given meto see my father again; and I then begged of him to lend me some money,under the pretext of being anxious before I left Paris to pay a fewlittle debts, which I wished to keep secret. He handed me his purse,without a single remark. I took twenty or twenty-five pounds, which itcontained. I offered him my note of hand, but he was too generous toaccept it.
"I then went to M. de T----: I had no reserve with him. I plainly toldhim my misfortunes and distress: he already knew everything, and hadinformed himself even of the most trifling circumstance, on account ofthe interest he naturally took in young G---- M----'s adventure. He,however, listened to me, and seemed sincerely to lament what hadoccurred. When I consulted him as to the best means of rescuing Manon,he answered that he saw such little ground for hope, that, without someextraordinary interposition of Providence, it would be folly to expectrelief; that he had paid a visit expressly to the Hospital since Manonhad been transferred from the Chatelet, but that he could not evenobtain permission to see her, as the lieutenant-general of police hadgiven the strictest orders to the contrary; and that, to complete thecatastrophe, the unfortunate train of convicts, in which she was to beincluded, was to take its departure from Paris the day but one after.
"I was so confounded by what he said, that if he had gone on speakingfor another hour, I should not have interrupted him. He continued totell me, that the reason of his not calling to see me at the Chateletwas, that he hoped to be of more use by appearing to be unknown to me;that for the last few hours, since I had been set at liberty, he had invain looked for me, in order to suggest the only plan through which hecould see a hope of averting Manon's fate. He told me it was dangerouscounsel to give, and implored me never to mention the part he took init; it was to find some enterprising fellows gallant enough to attackManon's guard on getting outside the barriere. Nor did he wait for meto urge a plea of poverty. 'Here is fifty pounds,' he said, presentingme his purse; 'it may be of use to you; you can repay me when you arein better circumstances.' He added, that if the fear of losing hischaracter did not prevent him from embarking in such an enterprise, hewould have willingly put his sword and his life at my service.
"This unlooked-for generosity affected me to tears. I expressed mygratitude with as much warmth as my depressed spirits left at mycommand. I asked him if there were nothing to be expected frominterceding with the lieutenant-general of police: he said that he hadconsidered that point; but that he looked upon it as a hopelessattempt, because a favour of that nature was never accorded withoutsome strong motive, and he did not see what inducement could be heldout for engaging the intercession of any person of power on her behalf;that if any hope could possibly be entertained upon the point, it mustbe by working a change in the feelings of old G---- M---- and myfather, and by prevailing on them to solicit from thelieutenant-general of police the revocation of Manon's sentence. Heoffered to do everything in his power to gain over the younger G----M----, although he fancied a coldness in that gentleman's mannertowards him, probably from some suspicions he might entertain of hisbeing concerned in the late affair; and he entreated me to lose noopportunity of effecting the desired change in my father's mind.
"This was no easy undertaking for me; not only on account of thedifficulty I should naturally meet in overcoming his opinion, but foranother reason which made me fear even to approach him; I had quittedhis lodgings contrary to his express orders, and was resolved, since Ihad learned the sad fate of my poor Manon, never again to returnthither. I was not without apprehensions indeed of his now retainingme against my will, and perhaps taking me at once back with him intothe country. My elder brother had formerly had recourse to thisviolent measure. True, I was now somewhat older; but age is a feebleargument against force. I hit upon a mode, however, of avoiding thisdanger, which was to get him by contrivance to some public place, andthere announce myself to him under an assumed name: I immediatelyresolved on this method. M. de T---- went to G---- M----'s, and I tothe Luxembourg, whence I sent my father word, that a gentleman waitedthere to speak with him. I hardly thought he would come, as the nightwas advancing. He, however, soon made his appearance, followed by aservant: I begged of him to choose a walk where we could be alone. Wewalked at least a hundred paces without speaking. He doubtlessimagined that so much precaution could not be taken without someimportant object. He waited for my opening speech, and I wasmeditating how to commence it.
"At length I began.
"'Sir,' said I, trembling, 'you are a good a
nd affectionate parent; youhave loaded me with favours, and have forgiven me an infinite number offaults; I also, in my turn, call Heaven to witness the sincere, andtender, and respectful sentiments I entertain towards you. But it doesseem to me, that your inexorable severity----'
"'Well, sir, my severity!' interrupted my father, who no doubt found myhesitation little suited to his impatience.
"'Ah, sir,' I replied, 'it does seem to me that your severity isexcessive in the penalty you inflict upon the unfortunate Manon. Youhave taken only M. G---- M----'s report of her. His hatred has madehim represent her to you in the most odious colours: you have formed afrightful idea of her. She is, on the contrary, the mildest and mostamiable of living creatures; would that Heaven had but inspired you atany one moment with the desire of seeing her! I am convinced that youwould be not less sensible of her perfections than your unhappy son.You would then have been her advocate; you would have abhorred the foulartifices of G---- M----; you would have had pity on both her and me.Alas! I am persuaded of it; your heart is not insensible; it must erenow have melted with compassion.'
"He interrupted me again, perceiving that I spoke with a warmth whichwould not allow me to finish very briefly. He begged to know with whatrequest I intended to wind up so fervent an harangue.
"'To ask my life at your hands,' said I, 'which I never can retain ifManon once embark for America.'
"'No! no!' replied he, in the severest tone; 'I would rather see youlifeless, than infamous and depraved.'
"'We have gone far enough, then,' said I, catching hold of his arm;'take from me, in common mercy, my life! weary and odious andinsupportable as it henceforward must be; for in the state of despairinto which you now plunge me, death would be the greatest favour youcould bestow--a favour worthy of a father's hand.'
"'I should only give you what you deserve,' replied he; 'I know fatherswho would not have shown as much patience as I have, but wouldthemselves have executed speedy justice; but it is my foolish andexcessive forbearance that has been your ruin.'
"I threw myself at his feet: 'Ah!' exclaimed I, 'if you have still anyremains of mercy, do not harden your heart against my distress andsorrow. Remember that I am your child! Alas! think of my poor mother!you loved her tenderly! would you have suffered her to be torn fromyour arms? You would have defended her to the death! May not the samefeeling then be pardoned in others? Can persons become barbarous andcruel, after having themselves experienced the softening influence oftenderness and grief?'
"'Breathe not again the sacred name of your mother,' he exclaimed, in avoice of thunder; 'the very allusion to her memory rouses myindignation. Had she lived to witness the unredeemed profligacy ofyour life, it would have brought her in pain and sorrow to hergrave.--Let us put an end to this discussion' he added; 'it distressesme, and makes not the slightest change in my determination: I am goingback to my lodgings, and I desire you to follow me.'
"The cool and resolute tone in which he uttered this command, convincedme that he was inexorable. I stepped some paces aside, for fear heshould think fit to lay hands upon me.
"'Do not increase my misery and despair,' said I to him, 'by forcing meto disobey you. It is impossible for me to follow you; and equally sothat I should continue to live, after the unkind treatment I haveexperienced from you. I, therefore, bid you an eternal adieu. Whenyou know that I am dead, as I shall soon be, the paternal affectionwhich you once entertained for me may be perhaps revived.'
"As I was about to turn away from him: 'You refuse then to follow me,'cried he, in a tone of excessive anger. 'Go! go on to your ruin.Adieu! ungrateful and disobedient boy.'
"'Adieu!' exclaimed I to him, in a burst of grief, 'adieu, cruel andunnatural father!'
"I left the Luxembourg, and rushed like a madman through the streets toM. de T----'s house. I raised my hands and eyes as I went along,invoking the Almighty Powers: 'O Heaven,' cried I, 'will you not provemore merciful than man! The only hope that remains to me is fromabove!'
"M. de T---- had not yet returned home; but he arrived before manyminutes had elapsed. His negotiation had been as unsuccessful as myown. He told me so with the most sorrowful countenance. Young G----M----, although less irritated than his father against Manon and me,would not undertake to petition in our favour. He was, in greatmeasure, deterred by the fear which he himself had of the vindictiveold lecher, who had already vented his anger against him for his designof forming a connection with Manon.
"There only remained to me, therefore, the violent measures which M.T---- had suggested. I now confined all my hopes to them. They werequestionless most uncertain; but they held out to me, at least, asubstantial consolation, in the certainty of meeting death in theattempt, if unsuccessful. I left him, begging that he would offer uphis best wishes for my triumph; and I thought only of finding somecompanions, to whom I might communicate a portion of my own courage anddetermination.
"The first that occurred to me was the same guardsman whom I hademployed to arrest G---- M----. I had intended indeed to pass thenight at his rooms, not having had a moment of leisure during theafternoon to procure myself a lodging. I found him alone. He was gladto see me out of the Chatelet. He made me an offer of his services. Iexplained to him in what way he might now do me the greatest kindness.He had good sense enough to perceive all the difficulties; but he wasalso generous enough to undertake to surmount them.
"We spent part of the night in considering how the plot was to beexecuted. He spoke of the three soldiers whom he had made use of onthe last occasion, as men whose courage had been proved. M. de T----had told me the exact number of archers that would escort Manon; theywere but six. Five strong and determined men could not fail to striketerror into these fellows, who would never think of defendingthemselves bravely, when they were to be allowed the alternative ofavoiding danger by surrendering; and of that they would no doubt availthemselves. As I was not without money, the guardsman advised me tospare no pains or expense to ensure success. 'We must be mounted,' hesaid, 'and each man must have his carbine and pistols; I will take careto prepare everything requisite by tomorrow. We shall also want threenew suits of regimentals for the soldiers, who dare not appear in anaffray of this kind in the uniform of their regiment. I handed him thehundred pistoles which I had got from M. de T----; it was all expendedthe next morning, to the very last sou. I inspected the threesoldiers; I animated them with the most liberal promises; and toconfirm their confidence in me, I began by making each man a present often pistoles.
"The momentous day having arrived, I sent one of them at an early hourto the Hospital, to ascertain the exact time when the police were tostart with their prisoners. Although I merely took this precautionfrom my excessive anxiety, it turned out to have been a prudent step.I had formed my plans upon false information, which I had received asto their destination; and believing that it was at Rochelle thisunhappy group was to embark, all my trouble would have been thrown awayin waiting for them on the Orleans road. However, I learned, by thesoldier's report, that they would go out towards Rouen, and that it wasfrom Havre-de-Grace they were to sail for America.
"We at once went to the gate of St. Honore, taking care to go bydifferent streets. We assembled at the end of the faubourg. Ourhorses were fresh. In a little time we observed before us the sixarchers and the two wretched caravans, which you saw at Passy two yearsago. The sight alone almost deprived me of my strength and senses.'Oh fate!' said I to myself, 'cruel fate! grant me now either death orvictory.'
"We hastily consulted as to the mode of making the attack. Thecavalcade was only four hundred paces in advance, and we mightintercept them by cutting across a small field, round which the highroad led. The guardsman was for this course, in order to fall suddenlyupon them while unprepared. I approved of the plan, and was the firstto spur my horse forward--but fate once again relentlessly blasted allmy hopes.
"The escort, seeing five horsemen riding towards them, inferred that itwas for the purpose o
f attacking them. They put themselves in aposition of defence, preparing their bayonets and guns with an air ofresolution.
"This demonstration, which in the guardsman and myself only inspiredfresh courage, had a very different effect upon our three cowardlycompanions. They stopped simultaneously, and having muttered to eachother some words which I could not hear, they turned their horses'heads, threw the bridles on their necks, and galloped back towardsParis.
"'Good heavens!' said the guardsman, who appeared as much annoyed as Iwas by this infamous desertion, 'what is to be done? we are but twonow.'
"From rage and consternation I had lost all power of speech. I doubtedwhether my first revenge should not be in pursuing the cowards who hadabandoned me. I saw them flying, and looked in the other direction atthe escort: if it had been possible to divide myself, I should at oncehave fallen upon both these objects of my fury; I should have destroyedall at the same moment.
"The guardsman, who saw my irresolution by my wandering gaze, begged ofme to hear his advice. 'Being but two,' he said, 'it would be madnessto attack six men as well armed as ourselves, and who seem determinedto receive us firmly. Let us return to Paris, and endeavour to succeedbetter in the choice of our comrades. The police cannot make veryrapid progress with two heavy vans; we may overtake them tomorrowwithout difficulty.'
"I reflected a moment on this suggestion; but seeing nothing around mebut despair, I took a final and indeed desperate resolution: this wasto thank my companion for his services, and, far from attacking thepolice, to go up with submission and implore them to receive me amongthem, that I might accompany Manon to Havre-de-Grace, and afterwards,if possible, cross the Atlantic with her. 'The whole world is eitherpersecuting or betraying me,' said I to the guardsman; 'I have nolonger the power of interesting anyone in my favour; I expect nothingmore either from fortune or the friendship of man; my misery is at itsheight; it only remains for me to submit, so that I close my eyeshenceforward against every gleam of hope. May Heaven,' I continued,'reward you for your generosity! Adieu! I shall go and aid mywretched destiny in filling up the full measure of my ruin!' He, invain, endeavoured to persuade me to return with him to Paris. Ientreated him to leave me at once, lest the police should still suspectus of an intention to attack them."