too young to get married, anyway. Besides, I'm just dating Tony while I don't find anyone better.
(RICO puts the beautifully rolled joint in his mouth. RICO looks for a match in his pockets to light it up, but FAGNER reaches for the joint.)
RICO — (complains) Hey!
FAGNER — Ladies first, ass hole!
(FAGNER gives the joint to RACHEL.)
RACHEL — Thanks.
(FAGNER takes a lighter out of his pocket and lights up the joint. RACHEL takes a big drag. Such a long one that it makes RICO and FAGNER stare at her. They look very impressed.)
RACHEL (CONT'D) — (holding in the smoke) Not bad...
RICO — His cousin grows it.
FAGNER — Shut up, Rico.
(RICO extends his hand trying to reach the joint, but RACHEL takes another drag.)
RACHEL — (holding in the smoke) Actually, it's a nice pot... Great...
RICO — Are you planning to smoke all of it all by yourself?
RACHEL — Sorry.
(RACHEL gives the joint back to FAGNER.)
RACHEL (CONT'D) — (holding in the smoke) You have to sell me some.
(FAGNER takes a drag and gives RICO the joint. RICO takes a deep drag.)
FAGNER — I don't sell.
RICO — (holding in the smoke) He's lying.
(FAGNER takes the joint out of RICO's mouth.)
RICO (CONT'D) — (complaining) Hey, man!
FAGNER — You've already smoked enough.
(FAGNER gives RACHEL the joint. RACHEL takes another drag.)
RACHEL — So, you're from Brazil. Can you play me a little samba?
(FAGNER starts tapping on the counter and sings.)
FAGNER — "Oi, pisca o cú, balanga o saco. Pisco cú, balango saco. Pisco cú balango o saco."
RACHEL — How sweet!
FAGNER — Thank you.
RACHEL — What does it mean?
FAGNER — You don't wanna know.
RACHEL — Tell me about your country. What's it like?
FAGNER — Brazil?
RACHEL — I thought you were Cuban. (laughs) I'm kidding. Tell me about Brazil. I've never been there.
FAGNER — Brazil... You know... Samba, Carnaval, AIDS/
(FAGNER laughs.)
RACHEL — I'm serious.
FAGNER — OK... Let me see... Brazil... There is... Soccer, Pelé, Corcovado, corruption/
(FAGNER laughs again.)
RACHEL — Come on! You don't really think like that.
FAGNER — But all of you Americans do.
RACHEL — I'm not like everybody else.
FAGNER — No, you're not.
RACHEL — So, tell me what you think about your country. Do you hate it? Love it? Don't give a shit?
FAGNER — All right. Brazil? It's a beautiful country.
RACHEL — Is that it? Don't you have anything more to say about it?
RICO — Cut the crap! He barely knows his own country.
FAGNER — (to Rico) She's not talking to you.
RACHEL — Have you ever been to the Amazon rainforest?
FAGNER — I sure have!
RICO — No, you haven't.
FAGNER — You know nothing!
RICO — You told me you had never been away from your town until you came here!
RACHEL — Have you ever visited Rio? Ipanema? Buenos Aires?
FAGNER — (lies) I had been to Rio many times before I moved to New York! I've already visited Corcovado, Cristo Redentor, Sugar Loaf, Pantanal, Ipanema, Copacabana... Buenos Aires/
RICO — He's lying! He had never seen the ocean before he moved to the U.S.
FAGNER — Don't believe him. He's a fucking Mexican.
RICO — At least I've already been to the beach. And I can swim.
RACHEL — Is it true? Can't you even swim?
FAGNER — No, it's not true! I sure as hell can!
(FAGNER puts the joint into RICO's mouth.)
FAGNER (CONT'D) — Smoke, you need it.
RACHEL — I'd like to visit the Amazon rainforest. I'm currently taking Spanish classes. Hola! Como vas?
RICO — They speak Portuguese in Brazil, bitch.
FAGNER — Shut up, Rico.
RACHEL — Is it beautiful?
FAGNER — What?
RACHEL — The Amazon rainforest.
FAGNER — Oh, Yeah. Sure.
RACHEL — How beautiful?
FAGNER — (lies) You know... The jungle... Lots of Rivers, vegetation, animals, Indians, wild plants, tall trees, lots of insects...
RACHEL — I've always heard that the Amazon rainforest is threatened by deforestation. Do you worry about that?
RICO — He 'don't' give a shit to the Amazon rainforest.
RACHEL — (corrects Rico) He doesn't.
RICO — No, he 'don't'.
RACHEL — Why did you leave Brazil and move to New York?
FAGNER — (joking) Because America is the land of opportunities. (seriously) Seriously, I love your country. I think everybody should live here.
RICO — Everybody wouldn't fit within the U.S., cabrón! Imagine all those zillion fucking Chinese living in here!
FAGNER — You know what I mean.
RACHEL — So, you don't have many opportunities in Brazil.
FAGNER — Not many, at least for a guy like me.
RICO — An ignorant estúpido asshole like you, you mean.
FAGNER — You talk too much, Rico.
RICO — You lie too much, Little Fag.
RACHEL — Little Fag?
RICO — It's his nickname.
RACHEL — Really?
FAGNER — You don't listen to him. My name is Fagner.
(RACHEL extends her hand to FAGNER.)
RACHEL — Nice to meet you, Fagner. I'm Rachel.
(FAGNER and RACHEL shake hands. ENRICO gets excited and extends his hand too.)
RICO — I'm Enrico, but everyone calls me Rico.
(ENRICO keeps his hand in the air. RACHEL only nods to him.)
RACHEL — Hi.
(ENRICO scratches his head and sticks his finger into his nose.)
FAGNER — And you? What do you do?
RACHEL — I'm an actress.
FAGNER — (impressed) Wow! An actress? Awesome!
RACHEL — Yeah, I know.
RICO — (excited) I knew you looked familiar! Have I ever seen you in any movie?
RACHEL — I don't think so.
RICO — Have I ever seen you on a TV show?
RACHEL — Er... Probably not.
RICO — TV ad?
RACHEL — Er... I guess not.
RICO — In a play?
RACHEL — I've only been acting in school plays.
RICO — Any porno?
FAGNER — Keep your mouth shut, Rico.
RACHEL — Of course not! What do you think I am?
RICO — So I must know you from around.
RACHEL — Yeah... Maybe.
RICO — (laughs) Man, I could swear you were an actress!
FAGNER — She is an actress.
RICO — (stoned) Whatever. I'm stoned.
RACHEL — I'm about to finish my acting school.
FAGNER — So you're not working right now.
RACHEL — I'm working. I've been in a photo shoot once. I've been invited to many auditions.
RICO — But you never got a role.
FAGNER — We're not talking to you, Rico. Just smoke, ok?
RICO — OKEY DOKEY!
(RICO gets the joint and takes a big drag. RICO will smoke the rest of that pot until it ends.)
RACHEL — But I'm working at a shoe store, right now.
FAGNER — (faking to be enthusiastic) Great! Good for you!
RACHEL — You know, in order to give my income a boost.
FAGNER — I see. And you live with your parents here, in New York.
RACHEL — No! My parents live in Oklahoma. I live on m
y own in New York. I'm an independent woman now! My father only pays the rent... And the acting school... And when I finish acting school... Wow... I'm so fucked up.
FAGNER — Really?
RACHEL — (stoned) Yeah! This weed is really good!
(RACHEL starts to laugh.)
FAGNER — Sure. So you were born in Oklahoma, weren't you?
RACHEL — Yeah. Sort of.
FAGNER — And what about Oklahoma? Do you like it there?
RACHEL — I like it better now that I am away. (laughing) Oklahoma sucks! (stoned) What a fucking great weed! Wow! I'm so high.
(RACHEL starts to dance alone around the store while she sings some happy melody.
ENRICO pulls a little bag with cocaine out of his pocket pants. He opens it and sticks a key into the bag. Then, he puts the key into his nose and inhales it. FAGNER approaches ENRICO.)
FAGNER — What is this?
RICO — Cocaine. I stole this nose candy from my brother.
FAGNER — (surprised) What are you doing, man?
RICO — I'm snorting it! What else could it be?
Enrico snorts the coke again.
FAGNER — Stop, Rico!
RICO — No fucking way!
Rico snorts it again.
RICO (CONT'D) — Wow! Now I see why my brother never allowed me to snort it! I could easily become addicted to it!
FAGNER — Gimme that coke!
RICO — I don't share coke, cabrón.
FAGNER — Fuck you!
(FAGNER moves towards RACHEL, but ENRICO intercepts him and whispers in his ear.)
RICO — She's horny, man! Let's fuck this bitch!
FAGNER — Shut up, Rico.
RICO — Let's do it, man! She's a whore! I bet her pussy is already wet!
FAGNER — You're disgusting.
RICO — Stop being such an asshole! She's longing for my dick!
FAGNER — Shush! I want my visa, I don't wanna be arrested.
RICO — Just guess what a grown up blonde American woman is doing here all by herself with two foreign pot heads like us? I'll tell you what. She wants to get fucked, cabrón! (say it out loud) Let's fuck'er!
RACHEL — WHAT?
FAGNER — Excuse my pal, he only talks nonsense.
RACHEL — Who do you think am I?
RICO — A fucking bitch, that's who you are!
(At this point, RACHEL, who was sitting on the floor, stands up.)
RACHEL — Never felt so humiliated! I'm leaving.
(FAGNER and RICO stand up.)
FAGNER — Wait!
RACHEL — What for? To be raped?
RICO — (excited) Yeah!
FAGNER — Do your best and don't listen to him! He's a moron.
RICO — I wanna rape her!
(FAGNER pushes RICO so that RICO falls on the floor.)
RICO (CONT'D) — Don't you ever touch me!
FAGNER — Fuck you!
RICO — No, fuck you! And fuck her! In the ass!
(ENRICO runs to RACHEL and tries to grab her. FAGNER pulls ENRICO and they start fighting. RACHEL screams. Right at this moment, the front door opens and an armed POLICE OFFICER enters pointing his gun at ENRICO and FAGNER. Right behind the police officer enters ANTHONY, RACHEL's boyfriend armed too.)
ANTHONY — (shouting) Back down! Raise your hands! Raise your hands or we'll shoot! Keep your hands up, you damn dopers!
(Immediately, FAGNER and ENRICO stop fighting and raise their hands. RACHEL runs into ANTHONY's arms.)
RACHEL — Oh, Tony! I'm glad you came to save me! I was so scared!
ANTHONY — (surprised) Rachel?
RICO — This fucking bitch is lying! She is as stoned as we are!
FAGNER — Shut up!
ANTHONY — I didn't get it. What are you doing here?
RACHEL — Me?
(Without anyone noticing anything that appears suspicious, FAGNER puts the plastic bag with marijuana into ENRICO jacket pocket.)
FAGNER — She has been shopping as usual/
ANTHONY — But the store is closed!
FAGNER — She was shopping when he came in...
RICO — What?
FAGNER — ...holding a pocketknife and threatening to attack us and rob the store!
RICO — (angry) Fuck you, man!
FAGNER — I was trying to save her from getting raped when you came in.
RICO — Fucking liar! Traitor!
FAGNER — I think he is under the influence of drugs.
RICO — WHAT? (to Anthony) He's lying! (to Rachel) Tell him he's lying! Tell him you were here because of the weed, that you were smoking pot/ (gives up) Oh, man, I'm really fucked up.
ANTHONY — (to the policeman) Search him!
(The policeman runs to ENRICO and frisk him until he finds the plastic bag with weed and the pocketknife. He also finds the little bag with cocaine. The policeman gives ANTHONY the plastic bag with pot and the little one with coke. ANTHONY grabs the bag, he opens and smells it.)
ANTHONY (CONT'D) — It's definitely pot.
(ANTHONY snorts the coke.)
ANTHONY (CONT'D) — I don't know... It feels like coke. But I have to be sure...
(ANTHONY snorts the coke again with pleasure.)
ANTHONY (CONT'D) — It's coke. (to the policeman) Handcuff that piece of shit.
(The policeman handcuffs ENRICO, who starts to cry like a baby.)
RICO — I thought I was your friend! (to the policemen) You can't do this to me! Let me go!
(The police officer carries ENRICO off the stage.)
ANTHONY — (to Fagner) And you?
FAGNER — I'm just another victim.
(ANTHONY stares at RACHEL.)
ANTHONY — (suspicious) Is he telling the truth?
(RACHEL hesitates.)
FAGNER — Come on! Do you really believe she'd come late at night for a joint like this and hang out with a guy like me? A good for nothing, penniless, ugly Brazilian? Someone totally not you?
ANTHONY — (insists) IS HE TELLING THE TRUTH?
RACHEL — (hesitates) Yeah. Sure. He IS telling the truth.
(Awkward silence. ANTHONY keeps looking at RACHEL. FAGNER tries to break the ice.)
FAGNER — Oh, man. What a night. What a night.
(RACHEL approaches ANTHONY.)
RACHEL — I'm curious about one thing. How did you come here so fast? Did you know that I was here?
ANTHONY — We have been investigating this place for a while.
RACHEL — Why?
ANTHONY — I'm not authorized to discuss these things with anyone.
RACHEL — I'm not anyone. I'm your girlfriend. Don't you trust me?
ANTHONY — I couldn't even trust my mother.
RACHEL — Your mother is dead.
ANTHONY — (constrained) Yeah... I couldn't help it. And you don't wanna die too, do you?
RACHEL — (frightened) Nope.
ANTHONY — I think we'd better leave now.
(ANTHONY waves to FAGNER.)
ANTHONY (CONT'D) — We'll keep in touch. We're gonna need your testimony.
RACHEL — (waving) Thank you... For saving my... Life.
(ANTHONY and RACHEL walk away. FAGNER looks around. Then, he sits down on the floor and puts his head between his knees. The stage goes dark.)
(END OF SCENE)
Back to top
SCENE FOUR
It's the day after. When the lights fade in, Oman and Fagner are already onstage. Oman is behind the counter, at the cash register. Fagner is arranging some groceries on the shelves.
OMAN — I knew it! I've always known that your Mexican friend was a piece of shit! A drug dealer! Oh, my God! How many times have I warned you about that criminal? You could have died. That blonde bitch could have died. We could all have died! Unbelievable! But you know, we are safe, right? By this time, that damn Mexican should be behind bars which is the place he belongs. You did the right thing
, Fag. The right thing. Don't be upset. It was for the best. Anyway, I think every Mexican should be behind bars. They are all criminals. They cross the border illegally like fugitives and come here bringing all their problems: drugs, bad manners, bad attitudes, bad language, bad English and burritos.
(FAGNER remains in silence. OMAN stops talking and stares at his employee.)
OMAN (CONT'D) — You've been quiet all day.
FAGNER — I don't have much to say.
OMAN — Have you already been to the Police Station to testify?
FAGNER — Not yet.
(OMAN goes around the counter and approaches FAGNER.)
OMAN — You know I like you, right?
FAGNER — So what?
OMAN — I really don't like the police sticking their nose in my business. And, you know, you're still an alien.
FAGNER — I have papers.
OMAN — I mean authentic papers that would allow you to work here.
FAGNER — What are you trying to tell me?
OMAN — Sorry, Little Fag, but you can't work for me anymore.
FAGNER — (surprised) Are you firing me?
OMAN — No!
(Awkward silence.)
OMAN (CONT'D) — I'm not firing you because I've never hired you.
FAGNER — No kidding.
OMAN — It's the truth. I couldn't have hired an alien.
FAGNER — I've been working for you for almost a year!
OMAN — Shit happens. You're young. You'll get over it.
FAGNER — (outraged) Is that all you have to tell me?
OMAN — No! (pause) You still owe me six thousand dollars.
(Right at this moment, the front door is opened violently. CARLOS, Enrico's twin brother, walks in. He looks more dangerous than ENRICO. CARLOS carries a huge baseball bat and has a gun stuck into his pants. FAGNER and OMAN hold each other in fear.)
FAGNER — (very surprised) Rico? I thought you were in jail!
CARLOS — (furious) I'm not Rico. I'm his twin brother: Carlos.
OMAN — (worried) Oh... (pretends to smile) He always talked about you. I love you Mexicans, you are nice people.
FAGNER — Nice to meet you/
(FAGNER extends his hand to CARLOS, who waves his baseball bat, dangerously.)
CARLOS — I'm gonna fuckin' kill the hijo de puta who put my brother behind bars!
(FAGNER and OMAN hold each other again fearfully.)
CARLOS (CONT'D) — (shouts) Who is Little Fag?
(FAGNER and OMAN push each other and point at each other.)
FAGNER AND OMAN — It's him!
CARLOS — Both of you look like Little Fags.
(CARLOS waves his baseball bat and hits the counter hard.)
CARLOS (CONT'D) — I'm not kidding! I'm gonna smash the head of the motherfucker who sent my little brother to jail!
OMAN — Little brother? I thought you were twins!
(CARLOS hits the counter hard again with his baseball bat.)
CARLOS — (shouts) I like to treat him 'like' my little brother!
OMAN — (afraid) OK. OK. Actually, he is a little shorter than you...
CARLOS — No, he's not shorter than me because we are twins, estúpido!
OMAN — Whatever...
CARLOS — Now, who is the fuckin' Brazilian who thought he could sell pot in my area without paying my share?
(Immediately, OMAN turns to FAGNER and stares at him angrily.)
OMAN — (angry) Have you been selling pot at my store, motherfucker? Are you a drug dealer?
FAGNER — (lies) I have no idea of what he's talking about!
CARLOS — (shouts) Who is the fucking Brazilian?
OMAN — Only he could be the fucking Brazilian. He is the only one that looks like a Brazilian here! Look at me! I'm an Iranian! Don't you see the difference?
CARLOS — (pause) No.
OMAN — (outraged) No? Holy Molly! I'm not the only color-blind here!
CARLOS — You look like an Egyptian to me.
OMAN — (outraged) Fuckin' Egypt is in Africa! Iran is in Western Asia!
CARLOS — Who cares? I don't even know where Yellowstone Park is.
(FAGNER tries to escape while OMAN argues over his origins with CARLOS. But CARLOS notices FAGNER's attempt to escape and turns to him waving his baseball bat, furiously.)
CARLOS (CONT'D) — Where do you think you're going?
OMAN — See? He was trying to escape because he's the Brazilian!
CARLOS — Or because he is scared.
OMAN — No! He is the Brazilian because they are all cowards! Do you remember the last time they went to war? They are all sissies! All of them dress up as women during their Carnival!
CARLOS — Weird... To me, he looks like a... I don't know what he looks like.
OMAN — Of course! Brazilians look like everyone else! Blacks, fucking white, yellow fucking blacks and white... Browns fucking all of them at the same time. Fuckin' Brazilians have no personality! They'd fuck a tree if it walked.
CARLOS — Gosh! I've never seen a Muslim using so many curse words as you