Page 20 of Vicious Cycle


  I brought my hand between her legs. She inhaled a sharp breath as I stroked her, feeling her clit begin to swell. My other hand went to her hip to urge her legs farther apart. When she spread her thighs, I thrust a finger into her, which caused her to gasp in pleasure. I added another finger as I began to move them in a punishing rhythm. She arched her hips forward, riding my hand. Her fingers gripped my shoulders, the nails digging into the skin as I brought her closer and closer to release. When she went over, her head fell back, and she moaned my name. It made me even harder.

  She urged me onto my back. Her dark eyes burned with desire as her fingers came to the button on my jeans. After she unzipped me, she started tugging them down off my hips. When my rock-hard cock sprang free, she momentarily paused to give it an appreciative look. Once she tossed my jeans over the side of the bed, she crawled slowly up my legs. As she gripped my dick in her hands, her tongue flicked across the head. I sucked in a breath as she then dragged her tongue from the base up to the tip. She continued making teasing strokes with her tongue until I groaned in agony. “Alex, quit fucking with me and suck my dick.”

  Pausing, she glanced up at me. “That’s not the magic word.”

  With a growl, I reluctantly said, “Please.”

  She answered my fucking plea by taking me deep inside her mouth. “Christ,” I grunted, arching my hips up. Her lips worked over my length while she pumped me in her hand. She started swirling and spinning her tongue around me while I was still in her mouth. Biting down hard on my lip, I willed myself not to blow my load like a teenage kid. For a seemingly good girl, Alex sure knew how to give head.

  Grabbing her by the shoulders, I urged her up. Reluctantly, she let my cock fall free of her fucking divine mouth. I kept pulling her until she straddled me. A grunt of both pleasure and frustration filled me when my cock slipped and slid through her wetness. “Wait,” I croaked. I flipped her onto her back and then climbed over to reach in the nightstand for a condom. After I slid it on, I glanced down at her to see her staring almost shyly up at me.

  I had never made myself feel this vulnerable with a woman before. But for reasons I didn’t understand, I felt safe being open with Alex. She accepted me for who and what I was, which wasn’t easy. She loved my daughter like she was her own flesh and blood. She loved my mother and brothers just like they were her family, too.

  In that moment, I knew what I needed to say. She deserved to hear it. I wasn’t just taking advantage of the fact we were about to fuck … or have sex … or make love. It went much deeper than that. As I positioned myself between her legs, I once again met her gaze. “I need to tell you something.”

  Alex’s brows furrowed in concern as she nibbled on her bottom lip. “What is it?”

  “I …” Why in the hell couldn’t I say the words? Oh, fuck it. “I love you, Alex.”

  Her dark eyes widened. “I love you, too. With all my heart.”

  With the weight of the words between us, I slammed into her. We both gasped. I withdrew and then pushed inside again. I soon found an almost punishing rhythm. Just as she began to build to climax again, I rolled over on my back, still buried inside her. Gripping Alex’s hips, I raised her up. Slowly, she slid down on me, inch by inch. When she had taken all of me, she flattened her palms on my chest. Then she began to ride me.

  As her tits bounced with her movements, my hands reached up to grab them, rolling and pinching the nipples between my fingers. I was rewarded with a deep moan. Rising, I brought my mouth to them. When I sucked them hard, grazing them with my teeth, Alex jerked her hands through my hair. “Deacon,” she murmured.

  Gripping her waist, I raised my hips, thrusting into her with a pounding rhythm. She cried out as she came around me, milking my dick with her inner walls. I couldn’t hold on, and I followed close behind her. She collapsed onto my chest, burying her face in my neck. Once we had finished coming down, I stroked her back with my fingers. We remained joined, her warm breath on my neck.

  “Babe?” I questioned.

  “Mmm,” she murmured.

  “You okay?”

  Raising her head, she smiled down at me with a thoroughly fucked look on her face. “Oh, I’m more than okay.”

  “I’m glad to hear that.”

  Her finger tapped against my chest. “Do you want to sleep now?”

  “No. That’s not what I had in mind.”

  “It isn’t?” From her tone, I could tell she was fucking with me.

  “Just as soon as I’ve recovered, I plan on putting you on your knees and taking you from behind.”

  “That sounds nice, I guess.”

  I cocked my brows at her. “Nice?”

  With a shrug, she replied, “Yeah, you know, you’ve done doggy style once, you’ve done it a million times.”

  “Oh, that’s it. You’re in trouble now.” She gave a shriek when I rolled her onto her back. We came apart as I began to tickle her sides, making her giggle to the point where she lost her breath.

  “No … Deacon,” she pleaded.

  “Say you’re sorry.”

  “Sorry,” came her panted reply.

  “Say ‘no man will ever fuck me like you do, Deacon,’” I commanded.

  Her chest heaved as she tried to catch her breath to repeat such a long sentence. “No man will ever fuck me like you do, Deacon.”

  With a grin, I said, “Damn straight. And that’s because I’m a fucking sex god.”

  She shook her head. “No. It’s because you love me.”

  My amusement faded slightly at her words. “You think just because you bring up love that I’ll go easy on you, huh?”

  “I hope you don’t.”

  Sliding the condom off my dick, I tossed it in the trash can beside the bed. “You don’t, huh?”

  “I really don’t.”

  “If you say so.” I jerked my chin at her. “Get on your knees for me.”

  Slowly, she twisted over onto her stomach. Placing her hands on the mattress, she then shifted up onto her knees, swaying her ass provocatively at me. “Like this?”

  “Fuck yeah. Just like that.”

  After sliding another condom on, I gripped her cheeks in my hands, spreading her apart. Just when she thought I was going to move forward and thrust into her, I bent over and flicked my tongue against her clit. “Deacon!” she cried, pushing herself back against me. With long swipes of my tongue, I began to eat her pussy. When my tongue wasn’t enough, I brought my entire mouth against her, sucking her clit. She came, crying out my name, her fingers twisting into the sheets.

  I didn’t wait a second to pull away and then thrust into her. Gripping her hips, I kept up a relentless pace. Our skin slapping together echoed through the room along with my grunts and her pants. Leaning over her back, I whispered into her ear, “Next time I take you like this, I’m going to put my cock into your ass.”

  When she stiffened, I knew I had hit uncharted territory with her. “Would you let me do that, Alex? Would you let me take your tight ass?” I sent a stinging slap across one of her cheeks.

  Without a moment’s hesitation, she cried, “Yes, Deacon! Yes, I would.”

  “Damn, baby,” I muttered, slamming harder and harder into her. Alex’s head bowed down to where her face rested on the mattress. Her cries and whimpers of pleasure became my undoing. Knowing I was close, I slid my hand between us to rub her clit. She buried her face in the mattress and screamed as she came. I slammed into her two or three more times before I groaned and spilled myself inside her.

  I slowly withdrew from her before sliding the condom off. Alex remained on her stomach, unmoving. “Did I wear you out?” I asked as I placed delicate kisses across her back.

  “I really do want to sleep now,” she said drowsily.

  I chuckled. “I know, baby. I’m wiped out, too.”

  I pulled the sheet from under her body, then climbed in beside her. At the feel of me, she rolled over to snuggle against my chest. It might’ve been only ten o’clock, but I
happily fell asleep beside the woman I’d thoroughly fucked and who I thoroughly loved.

  Kim had been so right about my playing poker to get Deacon’s attention. Once we were together for the first time, he couldn’t keep his hands off me. I had yet to sleep at my house since the attack, so the fact I was at his house every day and night left him plenty of time to touch me. And I sure as hell was enjoying every minute of it.

  I went about my days in a lust haze. Morning sex with Deacon kept me thinking about him all day. He would usually show me how much he had been thinking about me, too, when he’d find a way to get in a quickie between Willow’s lessons and dinner. After we tucked Willow in and did her story time, we would sometimes retire to his bedroom early. I’m sure Beth knew exactly what was going on, but she never said anything or gave us disapproving looks.

  On this Sunday morning, I had once again woken up to be worshipped by Deacon. Three orgasms for me and one for him later, we lay tangled together in the bed.

  “Listen, it’s just going to be you getting Willow in bed tonight,” he said after a long silence.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Out.”

  My brows shot up in surprise. “Excuse me?”

  His eyes narrowed slightly. “Fine. If you must know, it’s auditions down at the Lounge. As a stakeholder in the club, I have to be there to vote.”

  I snorted contemptuously as I worked to untangle myself from him. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  “I’m not.”

  Crossing my arms over my chest, I huffed, “Let me get this straight. You’re telling me you’re going to be auditioning strippers tonight, and I’m just expected to say, ‘Have fun, honey’?”

  Deacon squared his shoulders. “Yeah, I guess so.”

  “Do I mean nothing to you?”

  “Alex, don’t start this shit.”

  “Oh, I’m sure as hell going to start this shit.” Rolling out of bed, I snatched up my discarded yoga pants and shirt. Narrowing my eyes at him, I said, “You’re with me now—my man, and I’m your old lady. That means we don’t look at or touch other members of the opposite sex.”

  “I’m not going to be touching anybody!” he shouted.

  After I jerked my shirt over my head, I huffed, “You don’t have to. I’m sure they’ll be touching you when they’re rubbing themselves all over your dick during a lap dance.”

  “Now, listen to me. You might be my old lady, but that doesn’t mean you get to tell me what to do. So you need to pipe the fuck down.”

  “You are an unimaginable asshole!” I screamed.

  “And you need to learn your place!” he shot back.

  I shook my head, hating myself for the tears that sprang into my eyes. “I can’t do this, Deacon. I can’t lie in an empty bed, wondering what or who you’re doing. If this is really how you feel, I don’t think we need to see each other anymore.”

  “Dammit, Alex,” he snarled, reaching for my arm.

  I pulled out of his grip and started for the door. “If you go to that club tonight, don’t bother coming home to me when you’re done. I won’t be here.”

  With that, I slipped out the door. I pounded down the stairs and headed for my car.

  “Hey, where are you off to so early?” Kim called from the sidewalk. She was doing her morning jog around the compound. When I didn’t respond, she came over to me at the car. I hurried and slipped inside, trying desperately to start the car so I could escape her.

  “Alex, talk to me.”

  “I have to get out of here.” I tried once again to put the key in the ignition, but my trembling hands wouldn’t work.

  “Honey, what’s wrong?” When I burst into tears, she reached into the car and pulled me out. Putting her arm around my shoulder, she led me up the hill to her house. I was sobbing so hard I was shaking when she tugged me through the front door. I could only imagine the looks her kids and Case were giving me. She ushered me past the living room and kitchen onto the back porch.

  “Now, what on earth is going on? I thought after your little fuck-fest with Deacon, there wouldn’t be any more trouble in paradise.”

  Sniffling, I wiped my eyes on my sleeve. “Does Case go to the auditions at the Lounge?”

  Her body stiffened. “No, he doesn’t.” When I opened my mouth, she shook her head. “It isn’t for the reason you think.”

  “It isn’t because you told him not to?”

  She shook her head. “No. It’s because it has too many bad memories for me. I was stripping there when I met him. Out of respect for me, he doesn’t go there anymore.”

  “Deacon’s going to the auditions there tonight. He wouldn’t even listen to me when I pleaded with him not to go.” Staring into Kim’s green eyes, I said, “I don’t think I can be with him anymore.”

  “Oh, no. I’m not letting you give up so easy.”

  “I can’t be with someone who doesn’t care about my feelings. This may seem small now, but what happens when it’s something bigger? He told me he loved me, yet he can go down and watch naked women hump a pole? It doesn’t add up.”

  “Deacon is just being stubborn. He’s never had to justify his actions to any woman. Nor has he ever had one tell him no, except his mama. You need to find a way to turn the tables on him, give him a taste of his own medicine.”

  With a mirthless laugh, I said, “Why does all your advice come in the form of a game?”

  “Because that’s what works with these men, honey. I wouldn’t have told you to play strip poker to get your man to touch you again if you’d been dating a banker or even a mechanic. But you’re with one of the Raiders, and they’re a whole different breed of men.”

  “You’re right,” I replied. I then thought about how Deacon went caveman at the poker game when he thought his brothers were going to see me naked. I obviously couldn’t stage another poker game. I had to find a different means this time. And then it hit me.

  “Kim, do you have any connections down at the Lounge?”

  Her brows furrowed. “What are you talking about?”

  “I mean, someone you could call for a favor.”

  “Yeah, I guess so. Why?”

  “I just thought of a way to beat Deacon at his own game.”

  When she realized what I meant, her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. “Holy shit. Are you serious?”

  “You don’t think it will work?”

  She laughed. “Oh, honey, I think it will be the most fucking epic thing ever.”

  Nibbling on my lip, I then asked, “You don’t think it’s too much?”

  With a wink, she replied, “It’s all in how far you go.”

  I drew in a deep breath before I broached a difficult subject. “Would you be willing to help me?”

  The amusement in Kim’s face faded. When she began to wring her hands in her lap, I regretted mentioning it. I knew it was a lot to ask of her. “Look, it was wrong of me to ask. I’m sure I can bribe one of the regulars for some help.”

  When I rose out of the chair, she reached for my hand to stop me. “I think I can make an exception for you.”

  “Really? You mean it?”

  She nodded. “Besides, it’s coming up on my and Case’s anniversary. Might be nice to give him a lap dance for old times’ sake.”

  I laughed. “Only if you’re sure.”

  “I am. I wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t.”

  “So what do we do now?”

  Kim grinned. “We go make the ballet dancer in you into a pole dancer.”

  As I paced behind the curtain in my clear high heels, I wondered what the hell I had been thinking to entertain the thought of stripping for Deacon. Sure, the club was closed to its regular clientele and only patch-holding Raiders would be allowed in. That’s the only reason I even allowed myself to entertain the idea of stripping. The last thing I needed was for someone to recognize me. I could kiss my teaching career good-bye if that got out.

  I peeked out into the audience, squinti
ng to see past the glittering black mask that covered my eyes. At least ten of the Raiders sat in the first row of chairs next to the stage. Although I didn’t plan on taking everything off, the G-string I was wearing along with my bra top wasn’t going to leave much to the imagination. I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to look at Rev or Bishop again.

  But when I zeroed in on Deacon’s face in the front row, rage flew through me. What the hell? He was in the fucking front row. I mean, could he have at least hung out in the back? Oh, I was going to make that asshole pay.

  Kim had sacrificed her entire day to help me. She’d taught me how to work the pole, found me an outfit to go with my music, and then did my hair and makeup. She had also pulled some strings to get me the first audition spot.

  Coco, the head girl, took the microphone next to me. “Okay, we’re ready to begin.”

  Whistles and catcalls echoed behind the curtain. I could tell the men were more than ready to get the show on the road. Kim fluffed my hair and adjusted my cowboy hat once more before belting the long duster I was wearing. “You go out there and get your man.”

  “I’m going to try.”

  She smacked me on the ass before heading back into the wings. The opening chords of the music echoed out of the speakers. Cher’s “Just Like Jesse James.” Not the most obvious choice when it came to stripping, but it was one I had carefully picked because of the meaning it had for Deacon.

  As the curtain was flung open, I had one second of sheer panic shoot from the top of my head down to my feet. And then it was gone. It was replaced by courage pulsing through me. I didn’t think about who was at the end of that stage. I didn’t think about the fact I was merely a kindergarten teacher who had somehow gotten off on the wrong path. I didn’t think about the inhibitions that usually curbed any wild behavior.