Chapter 13 - The New Plan
"We shouldn't be here, Teren," I whispered. The breath needed to make speech barely passed my lips, but he heard me. His lips compressed into a tight line and his jaw clenched with the restraint to not answer me.
This was the fourth time I'd uttered that since our descent down the mountainside back to the car. Each time Teren had ignored my near imperceptible speech, but I knew his abilities, I knew his stubborn, vampire ass could hear me. We were driving back to the campsite, with Tracey and Ben chatting away in the back seat about all the miraculous things we'd seen-eagles, deer, rabbits, claw marks from bears on trees, what Ben swore was a mountain lion paw print and of course, the stunning view. Teren and I nodded and smiled every once and a while, but neither one of us were really listening. We were having a near silent argument. One I was determined to win.
"Tell them you are feeling ill and we have to go home. " I spoke so low, I couldn't even hear me.
His eyes not leaving the road, his jaw not unclenching, he slowly shook his head no.
I suppressed a sigh. "You're being stupid. We shouldn't be way out in the middle of nowhere. We should be closer to home. "
He closed his eyes for a second, and then reopened them and looked in the rearview mirror. "Hey, Ben," he said casually, like he wasn't as irritated as I was. "Want to do a little fishing when we get back?"
I turned in my seat to give him an icy glare. Really. Was he just going to run off and ignore how irritated I was?
Hot Ben glanced at Tracey, who dreamily nodded at her bleach-blond highlighted fisherman. His chiseled face returned to Teren's in the mirror. "Sure, man. . . sounds great! We'll catch us some dinner. "
"Perfect," Teren said happily. He gave me a pointed look. "That's the most perfect plan I've heard in a while. "
I snapped my head away from him and resisted the urge to smack that smug look off his face. Jerk. Big vampiric jerk.
When the car stopped at our campsite, I immediately got out and huffed over to our tent. Noisily pulling the zipper, I ducked inside. I re-zipped it on the inside and silently cursed that I didn't have a heavy door to slam. . . that would have been much more satisfying.
"You are such a freaking asshole! Your vampire ass better stay far away from me," I sullenly muttered, knowing full well he could hear me. Sure enough, a heavy sigh answered me from the other side of the tent.
I paced the inside, while I listened to Hot Ben and Teren gathering their supplies. Tracey giggled at something that Ben was doing to her. I suddenly hated how easy their relationship was, especially since Teren and I were smack-dab in the middle of a secret fight. I could see Teren's body blocking the light, just on the other side of the fabric separating us, and I had a sudden moment of sadness sweep over me. That thin barrier between us suddenly felt metaphoric in the worst possible way. In that instant, I wanted him in here with me, more than I wanted to continue the fight. . . but he'd injured my pride. I couldn't cave that easily.
I watched his shadow bend down to pick up his fishing pole near the tent, then straighten back up. His shadow paused, and for a moment we stared at each other, without really seeing each other. I knew he knew exactly where I was in the small tent though; he'd be able to hear my heartbeat, even all the way outside.
"Ready, Teren?" I heard Ben calling, from over by the vehicles.
His shadow never moving, Teren softly said, "Yeah. . . I'm ready. "
His shadow narrowed to a thinner sliver as he turned away from me. I couldn't handle that. "Wait," I whispered. His shadow immediately hesitated and the shape of his head turned towards me. "Please come back before dark. Please be careful. "
It was as close to "I'm sorry and I'm hopelessly in love with you, so please don't let anything happen to you" that I could say, without conceding defeat.
I watched his head drop as he absorbed my plea. He nodded, and I felt that he truly understood everything I was silently saying to him. Stepping closer to the tent, he raised a hand up to the fabric. I raised my hand as well and our fingers touched through the thin material. I had to hold in the tears at that insignificant, but so powerful connection.
I swallowed and his shadow fully turned away from me. Then I heard his car hum to life and crunch over the small twigs along the road as they slowly drove away. I curled into a ball on our sleeping bags and desperately tried to stop the sudden panic that flew into my throat. What if something happened while he was gone?
I was in that fetal position when I heard our tent being unzipped. I looked up to the door, right as Tracey poked her blonde head in. "What'cha doing in here?" She looked around the small space before returning to my eyes. I prayed they weren't glistening. Apparently they weren't, for she cheerily stepped inside, re-zipped the tent, and plopped down on the bag beside me. Lying back with her arms above her head, her long hair fanning out around her, she sighed, "Isn't Ben dreamy. . . ?"
She then began a fifteen minute soliloquy on the perfection that was Hot Ben, while I tried to force down the fears and insecurities I had about my relationship with Teren. I tried to be the good friend that listened, encouraged, asked the right questions, and probed for all the right secrets. The secrets that she acted like she didn't want to talk about, but really, she did, she just wanted to be asked.
I tried. . . it was difficult at first. I still felt like sobbing, and even though Tracey was oblivious to my bad mood, I was sure waterworks would clue her in. And I couldn't talk about it with her. I couldn't tell her that my soon-to-be-dead boyfriend had just jokingly faked his death, and it had made me realize how terrifying that day was actually going to be for me. I couldn't ask her what I should do about it. I couldn't ask for opinions on how to change the stubborn man's mind. I couldn't tell her that the stress was giving me an ulcer. I couldn't talk with her about any of that. . . because she couldn't know his secret. Unlike my sister, Tracey would not handle it well.
But eventually, talking with Tracey about her mundane relationship eased my mind, and as we were laughing over Hot Ben's toe-sucking fetish, my heart finally started to lift. I silently thanked Tracey, for the unknowing support that she was giving me.
After a while we emerged from the cave-tent I'd been hiding in, and we attempted to do something adventurous while the men were gone-we tried to make a fire. We walked back to where you could buy bundles of firewood and picked up a couple each. Feeling like quite the do-it-yourselfers, we giggled all the way back to our campsite. We got an offer of help from a friendly, older man, playing with his two grandkids a couple of spots away, but we politely refused his offer, since we were feeling pretty good about ourselves.
We felt less good about ourselves when we struggled with the actual making a fire part. Neither one of us had ever done it before. It didn't seem like it should be rocket science though. We made a little tepee with wood, shoved some newspapers that we'd found inside Ben's car underneath it, and then lit those papers with a match I'd found among Teren's things. The paper lit immediately, curled, blackened and then drifted away on the wind, leaving just barely scorched wood above it. We lowered the tepee and tried again. After the third attempt, we finally had a nice little blaze going and we did a little girl-power jig, right there by the fire pit.
That was when the boys showed back up. The headlights flashed along our gyrating bodies and laughing, we both looked over as the car shut off. Tracey squealed and ran to Hot Ben's side, throwing herself into his arms and showering him with kisses. My reaction was much more restrained. . . Teren and I weren't exactly on the best terms right now, after all.
Teren slowly opened his door and got out; his eyes never left mine. My heartbeat suddenly shifted into triple time, and I focused on maintaining an even breath. He cocked his head to the side, like he was listening to my reaction, and then biting his lip, he walked over to where I was standing beside the fire.
"I'm back," he said softly.
I nodded, tears filling my eyes
. "I can see that. " My arms slipped around his neck and my head buried into the crook of his warm skin. I inhaled the scent of pine, water and pure man that came off him, and squeezed him tight as he lifted me a good foot into the air.
He exhaled a long breath and nearly squeezed the life from me as he held me in that position. It wasn't exactly an end to our argument, but it was an acknowledgement that we were still in this together. We were still hopelessly in love.
I brushed a couple of tears off my cheeks as he finally set me down. His pale eyes locked on my tears, concerned, and he seemed about ready to speak, when Ben and Tracey came up to us. "Did you tell her about the rainbow?"
Ben clapped Teren's shoulder, while Teren muttered, "No, I hadn't gotten to that yet. "
Ben looked at me, his expression animated as he held his hands out, indicating a size. "Yeah, we caught this rainbow trout that was at least this big. Right, Teren?" Teren glanced over at the distance between Ben's palms and feebly nodded. Ben swished his hands. "We had to release it, 'cause you can't keep rainbows. . . but it was cool. " He pointed over to a bucket beside Tracey. "We got a couple of browns for you guys to cook up. " He gave Tracey a loving look. "Nice fire, babe. " She giggled, and they proceeded to make out for a couple minutes.
I sighed and met eyes with Teren again. He sighed, too, then pointed to the fire. "It is very nice. " His eyes flicked around the forest that would be darkening within a half hour. "I think I'll have a seat. " I nodded and sighed again as he went to sit down. We may have acknowledged the love between us, but we needed to have some words, too, and we couldn't do that with Tracey and Ben right beside us.
Tracey and I went about figuring out how to fillet and prepare fish for frying. Ben had to come over to help us at one point, which led to more inappropriately graphic displays of affection, but eventually we started cooking them, and our campsite filled with the smell of oil, fish and spices. We dished up our meals with the food the boys had caught, and then we all sat around the campfire and ate the fish with some rolls, a green salad and a bottle of wine.
The sky darkened as we ate, and the absence of light made me even more aware of sound. I heard the snap-crackle of the fire, the light laughter of our neighbors in the campground, the skittering of small animals in the underbrush, and the larger creatures, rustling among the trees. I hoped none of the noises were bears. As we cleaned up all evidence of dinner, Tracey seemed to feel the same.
"You don't think any bears are around, do you?" she nervously asked Ben.
He gave her an award-winning smile, making her flush, but Teren answered before Ben could, "There aren't any bears in the area tonight. "
They both stopped flirting with each other to look over at him, and I shut my eyes for a moment. I knew he knew that because of his extra abilities; he could probably distinguish an animal's heartbeat from a human one, and a bear would have a pretty big heartbeat. Perhaps he could even smell if any bears were nearby. But Tracey and Ben wouldn't know why Teren seemed to know that with such certainty.
With everyone looking at him, Teren shrugged his shoulders. "I talked to a ranger while we were fishing. He said there hadn't been any bears around the campsites for a while, they're all higher up the mountains. " He nodded his head over his other shoulder, indicating where the bears supposedly were.
I narrowed my eyes, wondering if any of that was the truth or not. Ben nodded. "Is that who you were talking to?"
Teren met my eyes and nodded. "Yeah. "
I held his gaze for a long time but I couldn't read him. I didn't know if he was being honest or not. I hated that I didn't know for sure. I hated how good he was at lying and yet, at the same time, I understood why he was. I searched his eyes while he searched mine, and I decided to just let this one go. We had enough issues between us tonight. Before I looked away, I noted that he was right about his eyes; there was a distinct enhancement that I could easily see, but a normal human would write it off as an odd play of light from the fire. His eyes were fine. His eyes were no longer the problem.
After cleaning up, Tracey sat in Hot Ben's lap, and before long, their fun flirting turned much more serious. Giggling, they hastily said goodnight and darted off to their massive tent. They never even looked twice at Teren's eyes-they only had eyes for each other.
Teren and I sat on opposite sides of the fire, staring at each other. His eyes bored into mine, reflecting the firelight back to me-orange irises in a sea of startling white. Our stare down was interrupted by a ranger walking down the road.
"Ten o'clock, fires out. " He told us, politely, but firmly, as he walked by.
Knowing that all Californians took fire safety pretty seriously, we stood and immediately doused the flames. Teren's eyes obviously glowed as the last of the orange flames died out.
"I'll be in the tent," he muttered.
"I'll be there in a minute," I replied.
I watched his form in the darkness, his glowing eyes turning to regard me once before ducking into the safety of the tent and disappearing. I sighed and grabbed a flashlight, making my way to the bathrooms before bed-I had no desire to pee outside.
When I got back, I slipped into the tent and changed into thermal pajamas. It got pretty cold at night here. I thought for sure Teren was already asleep, until the glow of his eyes ignited into life and turned to watch me.
I slipped into the two sleeping bags that we had zipped together to make one large bag, and Teren's hand hesitantly reached out for me. I shifted towards him and he placed his hand on my stomach; his face was blank in the dim light he emitted.
"You're still mad at me," he whispered, shifting to his side to face me.
I sighed and brought a hand up to cup his cheek. His eyes closed for a fraction of a second, momentarily slipping us into darkness, before reopening. "Yes," I said simply.
He sighed and rested his head against mine. "I'm sorry, Emma. How do I make this go away?"
I pushed him back a little. "You don't make this go away, Teren. We have to talk about this, really talk about it. "
Rolling over to his back, he removed his hand from my body; the glow of his eyes splashed along the ceiling of the tent. "There isn't much to talk about, Emma. I was joking around. . . it was inappropriate and I'm sorry. " His eyes flashed back to mine. "How long are you going to keep punishing me?"
I sat up on my elbow, my eyes narrowing. "Punishing you? Teren. . . this isn't about your stupid joke. "
Now he sat up on an elbow. "Then what are you so mad about?"
I let out a disbelieving sound. Did he really not grasp this? "We shouldn't be way out here in the middle of nowhere, Teren. " He rolled his eyes, which pissed me off even more. "Your parents are right. It's not safe," I whispered.
Leaning in close, his eyes flared with anger. "God, you sound exactly like them now. Have you switched to their side?"
I shoved his shoulder away from me. "There are no sides, Teren. There is safe and there is not safe. " I indicated the looming forest around us full of innocent people. "This is not safe. "
He ran a hand down his face, plunging us into darkness again. "It was a joke, Emma. I'm not dying this weekend. I could feel it if I were, and I'm not-I'm fine!" His voice was low, but harsh. I listened in the darkness for anyone who could have overheard that, but all I heard was the escalating sounds of Tracey and Hot Ben's flirting. I stopped listening, and focused on Teren's dark shape.
I grabbed his cheek, and he reopened his eyes as he moved his hand away from his face. Able to see him again, I took in the thin, hard line of his lips, felt the rigid tension in his jaw. My own muscles felt tight as liquid fire flashed through me. "You could feel it? Are you a freaking psychic now?" His mouth dropped open and the glow of his eyes narrowed. He started to answer me, but I beat him to it. "How do you know what it's going to feel like? How many times have you died, Teren?" I snapped in a low voice.
His face came right up to mine again, only inches
away, and a flash of something else mixed with my anger. I pushed the minute desire back and focused on my anger. "I know my body, Emma. "
I scoffed at that. "Really? That's why you nearly took a bite out of me at dinner a few nights ago? 'Cause you know your body so well?"
He backed away, the glow shifting down as he studied the floor. If I could see more of him, I was sure I'd see that he was blushing. "It's not happening right now," he sullenly muttered.
I flopped to my back, annoyed. Neither one of us was going to budge on this tonight. Teren flipped onto his back, and we both stared at the seam in the ceiling that his glowing eyes illuminated. Clear sounds of passion were drifting over to us from the tent next door, and Teren's hand under the sleeping bag scooted over to brush against my leg. The slight movement made a different kind of heat pulse through my body, but I forced it back as well. No way the jerk was getting lucky now, not after the afternoon we'd had.
Not sensing my mood, his hand grasped me more firmly and started traveling up my thigh. I still didn't move, not encouraging, but not discouraging either. Teren rolled to his side and brought his other hand to my stomach.
His warm lips found my neck. "Emma. . . ," he breathed against my skin, "let's not fight. . . " The ache in his voice just about killed me, but I pushed him back.
Surprised, he blinked his glowing eyes as he studied me. I ignored the hypnotic, trancelike feeling of that gaze and looked away. It was a rare event when I turned Teren down, and it had never happened since we'd decided to try for a baby.
"Emma?" he asked softly.
I turned back to the glow of him. "No, Teren. . . not tonight. "
"Aren't we trying for a baby?" he scoffed.
My eyes narrowed. Well, that just made this a heck of a lot simpler. I poked a finger in his chest. "I said, not tonight. " I circled the finger in the air over my body. "This is a restricted area. And you no longer have clearance. "
Irritated, he shifted his glowing orbs away from me. "Goodnight, Emma. "
I rolled away from him and moved to the edge of the bag, so we weren't touching. "Whatever, Teren. "
I awoke the next morning in a cold, empty sleeping bag. I looked around the small tent, but Teren had slipped out and wasn't with me. Sighing, I stretched and massaged a lump in my back, where I'd apparently slept on a boulder. Getting some fresh clothes for today, I unzipped my bag and scrounged through my stuff. I dressed as quickly as I could in the still-chilly morning air, slipping on my hiking shoes last.
Sliding out of the tent, I immediately spotted Teren. He was sitting alone by the fire, poking the ashes with a stick. He looked sullen and unhappy, and I hated that we were fighting. He didn't look up when I approached. I sat beside him, resisting the urge to touch him. I hated it though, and with a heavy sigh, I stopped resisting and let my hand fall to his knee.
He looked over with soft, pale eyes. "I'm sorry," he quietly said. "I hate fighting with you. I was. . . " He looked around the campsite, like he was suddenly unsure of what to say.
"An ass. . . " I supplied, with a slight curl of my lip.
He let out a small laugh as his eyes returned to mine. The mound of tension between us seemed to dissolve in that laugh. We relaxed in the camp chairs, his arm draped over mine on his leg, our shoulders touching. "Yes. . . an ass. I'm sorry, it's just. . . " He searched my face while he searched for words. "My entire life, I've had people telling me what I should do, where I should go, when I should marry, when to have children. . . " He shrugged his shoulders. "I got so sick of it. I just wanted to be my own person, with my own goals, and my own dreams. " He pointed at the ground in front of him. "I wanted my own life. "
He looked out over the forest as he spoke in a whisper, "I fought hard to live in San Francisco. . . away from them. I think they only finally let me to appease me, like eventually they'd snatch me back. " He shook his head. "I guess when people start trying to force their way on me, that old resentment rears up, and I just get really. . . defensive. "
Looking over at me, he meekly smiled. "I'm sorry. I don't want to be that person with you. " He cocked his head to the side in an adorable way. "Forgive me?"
I swallowed as I studied his beautiful face. He was so amazing, how could I not forgive him? Smiling, I leaned in to kiss him. I pulled him in deeper, until our kiss was intense and passionate. When Teren started to breathe heavier, I pulled away and whispered, "I'll think about it. "
We both laughed and sat back in our seats, resting our heads together and enjoying the stillness of the morning. Finally, he broke the quiet. "I'm really sorry I screwed up this weekend. That was really stupid. I didn't mean to scare you. " I nodded against his head and closed my eyes, to hold in the sudden tears. "I love you, Emma," he whispered.
"I love you too, Teren," I whispered back.
We let the fight between us die as we tightly held each other's hands. There would be time. We could discuss it more, later. For a long, peaceful moment, we watched the leaves dance in the light breeze and listened to the morning birds calling to their mates, then a zipping noise signaled the arrival of our site-mates.
I watched Tracey as she stepped out of her tent. She wore fresh clothes as well, and had her long blonde hair pulled up into a ponytail that mirrored my dark mane. She zipped back up the tent, leaving Hot Ben behind. Maybe he was still sleeping. Their night had been a rather long one.
Yawning and rubbing a kink in her back, she walked over to where Teren and I were cuddling by the dead fire. She sighed as she sat down opposite us. "I don't know if I can do tent-sex again," she muttered, right in front of Teren. He lightly coughed and I could feel him smile as he kissed my hair. Tracey continued, like she was only talking to me. "I swear I have a rock permanently embedded in my ass. " She rolled her eyes and tried to rub out her bottom. "Next time he can get the rock in his butt, I'm taking the top. "
Teren stood at that point. Running a hand through his hair, he looked back at me. "I'm gonna. . . get some. . . firewood. . . or something. " He leaned down to kiss me and then walked away from Tracey, lightly shaking his head.
I smiled as I watched him leave, then turned back to Tracey, who didn't seem to catch that he left because of her sharing. Tracey and I chatted about more specifics of her evening, details that Teren definitely would not want have wanted to be privy to, until eventually Ben peeked his frosted tips out of the tent. Tracey grinned at the sight of the rugged I-haven't-shaved-in-twenty-four-hours-and-my-camping-hair-is-a-rumpled-mess hotness that was Ben. He grinned back at her as she rose to meet him with an adorably sweet kiss. I was pretty sure that Tracey would put up with a lot more rocks in her ass to be with Ben.
A few minutes later, Teren came back with a couple loads of firewood. Looking a little relieved that the "girl talk" was over, he nodded at Ben. After Ben greeted him, the boys went about making us a warm, filling breakfast. I briefly kissed Teren when he handed me my plate of bacon and eggs. He grabbed my cheek and stared at me intently, like he was trying to silently convey just how horrid the last several hours had been for him. I nodded while my eyes moistened. I understood; I'd felt it, too. He acknowledged my nod with a soft kiss.
"I love you, Teren. . . but we still need to talk about this. . . later," I whispered under my breath as he sat down beside me with a plate of his own. He held my gaze for a few long moments, then he nearly imperceptibly nodded.
Relief filled my body. He was going to at least talk with me about it-hopefully without getting all defensive and pissy. I understood where he was coming from but I didn't think he understood where I was coming from. Without asking me, he'd heaped a lot of responsibility on me in this "plan" of his and I was scared. No, scared didn't cover it. . . I was terrified.
After breakfast, the guys wanted to do a little more fishing and Tracey and I decided to join them. We spent the remainder of that lazy Sunday along the banks of the Merced River. We drove a few minutes to a parking area and walked along th
e rocky edges of the picturesque stream. Ben would say, "This looks like a good spot," and Teren would throw me a sly glance and respond with, "No, I think the fish are further upstream. " I bit back a smile, knowing my vamp was sensing things that poor Hot Ben would never be able to.
Everyone listened to Teren's suggestions and we ended up stopping at a spot that looked like an artist had painted it. Thick, majestic Douglas firs and sequoias lined the banks of the broad, slowly churning river. Huge boulders created perfect spots for Tracey and me to sit and dip our fingers into the icy waters. Teren and Ben moved a few feet away from us and cast their lines into the clean, crystal-clear stream that was home to huge trout. Even I could see some occasionally swimming by. Eagles were perched high on some nearby tree branches, watching for meals of their own, and Half Dome peak provided a magnificent backdrop that was almost too perfect to believe was real. It was a stunning location.
The boys chatted back and forth about fishing lures and other places around California that they'd been. I noticed that Teren never mentioned his parents' ranch and the fishing hole he and his dad frequented, and wondered if that was because Ben would naturally ask to see it and that was just something Teren wasn't willing to let happen yet. That thought reminded me that my mom had wanted to see the ranch. Hmmm. . . maybe she'd forget if I never brought it up again. Yeah. . . right.
Tracey and I found a nice spot on some large, flat boulders to lie down on, and we enjoyed the warmth of the sun on our faces while we chatted about work, Ashley, and our fishing boys. We had flipped onto our stomachs and were sort of ignoring the men, as we chatted about the latest celebrity gossip. I was sharing my "I practically know Brad Pitt" story, which Tracey appreciated a lot more than Teren had, when an icy blast of cold water hit my previously warm lower back. I screamed. Tracey matched my startlement as her own skin was suddenly exposed to the frigid river water.
I flipped over and glared up at a laughing Teren. He was standing above me, wiping his wet hands on his jeans. He and Ben had thought it funny to cup a handful of icy water and dump in on our backs. Why does that sort of thing amuse men so much? I jumped up and smacked his shoulder while he laughed and backed away from me. I heard Hot Ben spouting something behind me and knew Tracey was probably smacking the crap out of him too.
Teren suddenly picked me up and scooted me back into the forest a little ways. I could hear Ben and Tracey giggling, but I could no longer see them. Teren backed me into a tree and pressed his body along the length of me. I suddenly didn't care about the fight we'd had. I suddenly didn't care that he'd just doused me with water. I suddenly didn't care that our friends were ten feet away.
I ran my hands up his back and pulled him tight against me. His lips hungrily met mine and he made a deep noise in his chest as his hands ran over my body. I threaded my fingers through his hair as my tongue sought his. I moaned in his mouth when we brushed together.
His mouth scooted over to my ear and sucked on the lobe. "I want you," he growled. I gasped, amazed at how much that feeling was reciprocated, how much I wanted him. His mouth trailed down my neck as his hard body pressed into mine.
"How do you want me?" I murmured.
His blazing eyes pulled back to look at me and my breath increased at the passion in them. His fiery eyes flicked back to the bank, where Tracey and Ben were still laughing. When they flicked back to me, his fangs were extended. "Every way," he husked.
Well, damn. . .
I struggled to remember that our friends were a short distance away, and I couldn't entertain this little vampire fantasy right now. I ran my finger along an extended tooth and he quivered. I pressed the pad up against the point until it poked through the flesh. I cringed at the momentary pain but stopped when his warm mouth closed around my finger and started sucking.
Oh, hell. . .
"Hey, guys?"
Ben's voice shouting to us from the riverbank startled me from the hotness of the moment. Teren stopped sucking on my appendage and lightly shook his head; his fangs retracted as he did. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself away from me and smiled with just the corner of his mouth. I struggled to put myself back together as he answered Ben.
"We're coming," he shouted towards the bank.
I heard Tracey laugh and mutter, "I bet they are. " My face heated at her comment and Teren chuckled and looked at the ground. When we were both more collected, he extended his hand to me, and I happily took it. We emerged from the forest a few minutes later. Hot Ben and Tracey looked at us with knowing smiles before laughing and cuddling into each other's arms again.
"Ready for lunch?" I muttered, walking over to Teren's backpack to get the picnic we'd tucked in there. Only light laughter answered me and my face flushed even more.
A few hours later we were on the highway, driving through the sea of green trees, heading back home to Fog City. We were zipping along a few paces behind Ben's SUV, and I could see his and Tracey's heads leaning together in a sweet kiss. I thought about how tender and romantic their weekend had been, and how different an experience mine had been. Not that Teren and I hadn't had our moments-that last by the river was still burning through my body-but for the most part, our weekend had been an enlightening one.
As Teren had been helping Ben take down the tents and load up the vehicles, and Tracey had been regaling me with tales of more camping trips she wanted our foursome to take, my mind had been spinning with the ineptitude of Teren's plan.
It wasn't going to work. I needed him to see that. I needed him to at least consider that possibility, without ripping my head off. I looked over at his softly smiling face as we followed Ben's vehicle away from the park. I hoped that smile would stay on his face after this little conversation. . . we needed to have it though.
"Teren. . . "
The edges of his lips curled down as he instantly knew what we were going to talk about. So much for the smile. He looked over at me out of the corner of his eyes. "You want to do this now?" he asked.
"I just want you to listen to my side. . . that's all. "
His eyes relaxed and his mouth softly curled into a smile again. "I can listen. I am capable of that. "
I exhaled in a long, calming breath as his eyes went back to the road. Seeing the smile still on his lips, I quietly began, "I'm terrified, Teren. " He turned to look at me with furrowed brows, and I continued before he could interrupt. "Your little stunt yesterday has clearly shown me that I can't do what you're asking of me. I just can't, Teren. "
He returned his eyes to the road with his forehead still scrunched. I couldn't tell if the expression was anger, confusion or worry. Finally, he shook his head and said, "I'm only asking for a car ride, Emma. It's not as big a deal as you-"
He wasn't understanding my dilemma. I cut him off. "Assuming, by some miracle, you call me in time and I get to your heart-attacking body before everyone else, assuming I manage to get you into my car before a single person around figures out what's going on, assuming all of that, how long will the actual conversion take Teren? How long do I really have to get you to the ranch?"
He blinked and let his train of thought end without a fight. He stared at the road, thinking about it, and I could tell from his expression that this was the first time he'd considered that part of it. I realized that, just like I hadn't looked at every angle when I'd asked him to change Ashley, he hadn't looked at every angle in his quest to stay in San Francisco. Sometimes we only see what we want to see.
When he finally spoke, he answered me quietly, and a little humbly, "Great-Gran said Gran's conversion took half of an entire day. " I considered that, as his face fell with his next realization. He continued in a near whisper, "Gran said Mom's took four hours. "
Icy shock made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I blinked and gaped at him. "Four hours? From Twelve? Teren, in one generation it condensed that much? Who knows how long it could take for you?"
He looked over at me, an
d I could see real fear behind his eyes as he came to a startling conclusion. "It could take under an hour for me," he stated, returning his eyes to the road.
Panic filled me, as I realized what that meant. "Your parents live an hour away. Even if I got to you right away, even if you were still conscious in the car when we started the trip. . . if we got held up in traffic or the tiniest thing went wrong, or if it was even quicker than an hour. . . "
Teren swallowed and spoke my greatest fear, "I would wake up in the car. . . alone with you. " He immediately added, "I wouldn't hurt you, Emma. I swear. "
"Teren. . . what are you willing to risk on that? Are you willing to risk my life on a death-inducing thirst? Are you willing to risk yours?" He twisted to stare at me, his mouth dropping open. He hadn't known that I knew how severe his thirst would be, that I knew how severe the ramifications of his not drinking would be. He didn't know that I knew he would die, if he didn't kill me. He realized it now.
He briefly closed his eyes before returning his vision to the road. We had lagged behind Tracey and Ben while we'd talked, and that happy couple was no longer within sight of us. That seemed a little appropriate, considering the conversation we were now having.
"What do you want me to do, Emma?" he asked, heavy reluctance in his voice.
I laid my hand over his knee. "I want you to go to the ranch. I don't want this burden. I don't want this risk. " He glanced over at me with sad eyes. "I want you to be safe, Teren. "
He looked back to the road and was silent for so long, that I was positive he'd begin fighting with me again when he did speak. But, with a heavy sigh, he finally conceded the fight. "Okay. I'll go. "
He didn't speak again for the rest of the exceedingly long drive home, and I felt every mile go by in the oppressive silence. I found I couldn't speak either. I found that I had no words. I didn't feel like gloating that I'd won the fight, that he'd finally be safe. If anything, I felt guilty that I'd coerced him into doing something he didn't want to do, even if it was the smarter choice.
We pulled up to my house hours later and he sweetly helped me carry my things to my room. But sadness marked his features, like the reality of his situation had finally tightened around him, and he was having trouble accepting it. He'd lived for so long in a sort of stubborn "I'll do this my way" denial, that he'd overlooked some truths about his situation. Those truths were eating him up inside now; I could see it in his countenance. He looked on the verge of a breakdown.
After the last of my stuff was plopped onto a wicker chair in the corner of my small bedroom, Teren murmured goodbye and turned to leave. I grabbed his arm, stopping him. He looked at me with heartbreaking eyes that were quickly filling with tears. One finally dropped to his cheek and I felt my own eyes watering.
"I'm so scared, Emma. " His voice quavered, and another tear fell down his cheek, following the same path as the first.
I immediately pulled him into me and kissed him. He returned the kiss with ferocity and instantly started stripping clothes off of me. It was the only comfort I could give him. It was the only comfort he could give me. Things were changing. . . rapidly, and fearing that change, we clung to this one moment of physical bliss in my small Victorian bedroom.