CHAPTER XI
You are not for the manner nor the times, They have their vices now most like to virtues; You cannot know them apait by any difference, They wear the same clothes, eat the same meat-- Sleep i' the self-same beds, ride in those coaches, Or very like four horses in a coach, As the best men and women. _Ben Jonson_
On the following morning, while Nigel, his breakfast finished, wasthinking how he should employ the day, there was a little bustle uponthe stairs which attracted his attention, and presently entered DameNelly, blushing like scarlet, and scarce able to bring out--"A youngnobleman, sir--no one less," she added, drawing her hand slightly overher lips, "would be so saucy--a young nobleman, sir, to wait on you!"
And she was followed into the little cabin by Lord Dalgarno, gay,easy, disembarrassed, and apparently as much pleased to rejoin hisnew acquaintance as if he had found him in the apartments of a palace.Nigel, on the contrary, (for youth is slave to such circumstances,)was discountenanced and mortified at being surprised by so splendid agallant in a chamber which, at the moment the elegant and high-dressedcavalier appeared in it, seemed to its inhabitant, yet lower, narrower,darker, and meaner than it had ever shown before. He would have madesome apology for the situation, but Lord Dalgarno cut him short--
"Not a word of it," he said, "not a single word--I know why you ride atanchor here--but I can keep counsel--so pretty a hostess would recommendworse quarters."
"On my word--on my honour," said Lord Glenvarloch--
"Nay, nay, make no words of the matter," said Lord Dalgarno; "I am notell-tale, nor shall I cross your walk; there is game enough in theforest, thank Heaven, and I can strike a doe for myself."
All this he said in so significant a manner, and the explanationwhich he had adopted seemed to put Lord Glenvarloch's gallantry on sorespectable a footing, that Nigel ceased to try to undeceive him; andless ashamed, perhaps, (for such is human weakness,) of supposed vicethan of real poverty, changed the discourse to something else, andleft poor Dame Nelly's reputation and his own at the mercy of the youngcourtier's misconstruction.
He offered refreshments with some hesitation. Lord Dalgarno had longsince breakfasted, but had just come from playing a set of tennis, hesaid, and would willingly taste a cup of the pretty hostess's singlebeer. This was easily procured, was drunk, was commended, and, as thehostess failed not to bring the cup herself, Lord Dalgarno profited bythe opportunity to take a second and more attentive view of her, andthen gravely drank to her husband's health, with an almost imperceptiblenod to Lord Glenvarloch. Dame Nelly was much honoured, smoothed herapron down with her hands, and said
"Her John was greatly and truly honoured by their lordships--he was akind painstaking man for his family, as was in the alley, or indeed, asfar north as Paul's Chain."
She would have proceeded probably to state the difference betwixt theirages, as the only alloy to their nuptial happiness; but her lodger, whohad no mind to be farther exposed to his gay friend's raillery, gaveher, contrary to his wont, a signal to leave the room.
Lord Dalgarno looked after her, and then looked at Glenvarloch, shookhis head, and repeated the well-known lines--
"'My lord, beware of jealousy--It is the green-eyed monster which dothmake the meat it feeds on.'
"But come," he said, changing his tone, "I know not why I should worryyou thus--I who have so many follies of my own, when I should rathermake excuse for being here at all, and tell you wherefore I came."
So saying, he reached a seat, and, placing another for Lord Glenvarloch,in spite of his anxious haste to anticipate this act of courtesy, heproceeded in the same tone of easy familiarity:--
"We are neighbours, my lord, and are just made known to each other.Now, I know enough of the dear North, to be well aware that Scottishneighbours must be either dear friends or deadly enemies--must eitherwalk hand-in-hand, or stand sword-point to sword-point; so I choose thehand-in-hand, unless you should reject my proffer."
"How were it possible, my lord," said Lord Glenvarloch, "to refuse whatis offered so frankly, even if your father had not been a second fatherto me?"--And, as he took Lord Dalgarno's hand, he added--"I have, Ithink, lost no time, since, during one day's attendance at Court, I havemade a kind friend and a powerful enemy."
"The friend thanks you," replied Lord Dalgarno, "for your just opinion;but, my dear Glenvarloch--or rather, for titles are too formal betweenus of the better file--what is your Christian name?"
"Nigel," replied Lord Glenvarloch.
"Then we will be Nigel and Malcolm to each other," said his visitor,"and my lord to the plebeian world around us. But I was about to ask youwhom you suppose your enemy?"
"No less than the all-powerful favourite, the great Duke of Buckingham."
"You dream! What could possess you with such an opinion?" said Dalgarno.
"He told me so himself," replied Glenvarloch; "and, in so doing, dealtfrankly and honourably with me."
"O, you know him not yet," said his companion; "the duke is moulded ofan hundred noble and fiery qualities, that prompt him, like a generoushorse, to spring aside in impatience at the least obstacle to hisforward course. But he means not what he says in such passing heats--Ican do more with him, I thank Heaven, than most who are around him; youshall go visit him with me, and you will see how you shall be received."
"I told you, my lord," said Glenvarloch firmly, and with somehaughtiness, "the Duke of Buckingham, without the least offence,declared himself my enemy in the face of the Court; and he shallretract that aggression as publicly as it was given, ere I will make theslightest advance towards him."
"You would act becomingly in every other case," said Lord Dalgarno,"but here you are wrong. In the Court horizon Buckingham is Lord ofthe Ascendant, and as he is adverse or favouring, so sinks or rises thefortune of a suitor. The king would bid you remember your Phaedrus,
'Arripiens geminas, ripis cedentibus, ollas--'
and so forth. You are the vase of earth; beware of knocking yourselfagainst the vase of iron."
"The vase of earth," said Glenvarloch, "will avoid the encounter, bygetting ashore out of the current--I mean to go no more to Court."
"O, to Court you necessarily must go; you will find your Scottish suitmove ill without it, for there is both patronage and favour necessaryto enforce the sign-manual you have obtained. Of that we will speak morehereafter; but tell me in the meanwhile, my dear Nigel, whether you didnot wonder to see me here so early?"
"I am surprised that you could find me out in this obscure corner," saidLord Glenvarloch.
"My page Lutin is a very devil for that sort of discovery," repliedLord Dalgarno; "I have but to say, 'Goblin, I would know where he or shedwells,' and he guides me thither as if by art magic."
"I hope he waits not now in the street, my lord," said Nigel; "I willsend my servant to seek him."
"Do not concern yourself--he is by this time," said Lord Dalgarno,"playing at hustle-cap and chuck-farthing with the most blackguard impsupon the wharf, unless he hath foregone his old customs."
"Are you not afraid," said Lord Glenvarloch, "that in such company hismorals may become depraved?"
"Let his company look to their own," answered Lord Dalgarno, cooly; "forit will be a company of real fiends in which Lutin cannot teach moremischief than he can learn: he is, I thank the gods, most thoroughlyversed in evil for his years. I am spared the trouble of looking afterhis moralities, for nothing can make them either better or worse."
"I wonder you can answer this to his parents, my lord," said Nigel.
"I wonder where I should find his parents," replied his companion, "torender an account to them."
"He may be an orphan," said Lord Nigel; "but surely, being a page inyour lordship's family, his parents must be of rank."
"Of as high rank as the gallows could exalt them to," replied LordDalgarno, with the same indifference; "they were both hanged, Ibelieve--at least the gipsies, from whom I bought him five years
ago,intimated as much to me.--You are surprised at this, now. But is it notbetter that, instead of a lazy, conceited, whey-faced slip of gentility,to whom, in your old-world idea of the matter, I was bound to stand SirPedagogue, and see that he washed his hands and face, said his prayers,learned his acddens, spoke no naughty words, brushed his hat, andwore his best doublet only on Sunday,--that, instead of such a JackyGoodchild, I should have something like this?"
He whistled shrill and clear, and the page he spoke of darted into theroom, almost with the effect of an actual apparition. From his height heseemed but fifteen, but, from his face, might be two or even three yearsolder, very neatly made, and richly dressed; with a thin bronzed visage,which marked his gipsy descent, and a pair of sparkling black eyes,which seemed almost to pierce through those whom he looked at.
"There he is," said Lord Dalgarno, "fit for every element--prompt toexecute every command, good, bad, or indifferent--unmatched in histribe, as rogue, thief, and liar."
"All which qualities," said the undaunted page, "have each in turn stoodyour lordship in stead."
"Out, you imp of Satan!" said his master; "vanish-begone-or my conjuringrod goes about your ears." The boy turned, and disappeared as suddenlyas he had entered. "You see," said Lord Dalgarno, "that, in choosing myhousehold, the best regard I can pay to gentle blood is to exclude itfrom my service--that very gallows--bird were enough to corrupt awhole antechamber of pages, though they were descended from kings andkaisers."
"I can scarce think that a nobleman should need the offices of suchan attendant as your goblin," said Nigel; "you are but jesting with myinexperience."
"Time will show whether I jest or not, my dear Nigel," replied Dalgarno;"in the meantime, I have to propose to you to take the advantage of theflood-tide, to run up the river for pastime; and at noon I trust youwill dine with me."
Nigel acquiesced in a plan which promised so much amusement; and his newfriend and he, attended by Lutin and Moniplies, who greatly resembled,when thus associated, the conjunction of a bear and a monkey, tookpossession of Lord Dalgarno's wherry, which, with its badged watermen,bearing his lordship's crest on their arms, lay in readiness to receivethem. The air was delightful upon the river; and the lively conversationof Lord Dalgarno added zest to the pleasures of the little voyage.He could not only give an account of the various public buildings andnoblemen's houses which they passed in ascending the Thames, but knewhow to season his information with abundance of anecdote, politicalinnuendo, and personal scandal; if he had not very much wit, he was atleast completely master of the fashionable tone, which in that time, asin ours, more than amply supplies any deficiency of the kind.
It was a style of conversation entirely new to his companion, as was theworld which Lord Dalgarno opened to his observation; and it is no wonderthat Nigel, notwithstanding his natural good sense and high spirit,admitted, more readily than seemed consistent with either, the toneof authoritative instruction which his new friend assumed towards him.There would, indeed, have been some difficulty in making a stand. Toattempt a high and stubborn tone of morality, in answer to the lightstrain of Lord Dalgarno's conversation, which kept on the frontiersbetween jest and earnest, would have seemed pedantic and ridiculous; andevery attempt which Nigel made to combat his companion's propositions,by reasoning as jocose as his own, only showed his inferiority inthat gay species of controversy. And it must be owned, besides, thoughinternally disapproving much of what he heard, Lord Glenvarloch, youngas he was in society, became less alarmed by the language and manners ofhis new associate, than in prudence he ought to have been.
Lord Dalgarno was unwilling to startle his proselyte, by insistingupon any topic which appeared particularly to jar with his habits orprinciples; and he blended his mirth and his earnest so dexterously,that it was impossible for Nigel to discover how far he was serious inhis propositions, or how far they flowed from a wild and extravagantspirit of raillery. And, ever and anon, those flashes of spirit andhonour crossed his conversation, which seemed to intimate, that, whenstirred to action by some adequate motive, Lord Dalgarno would provesomething very different from the court-haunting and ease-lovingvoluptuary, which he was pleased to represent as his chosen character.
As they returned down the river, Lord Glenvarloch remarked, that theboat passed the mansion of Lord Huntinglen, and noticed the circumstanceto Lord Dalgarno, observing, that he thought they were to have dinedthere. "Surely no," said the young nobleman, "I have more mercy on youthan to gorge you a second time with raw beef and canary wine. I proposesomething better for you, I promise you, than such a second Scythianfestivity. And as for my father, he proposes to dine to-day with mygrave, ancient Earl of Northampton, whilome that celebrated putter-downof pretended prophecies, Lord Henry Howard."
"And do you not go with him?" said his companion.
"To what purpose?" said Lord Dalgarno. "To hear his wise lordship speakmusty politics in false Latin, which the old fox always uses, that hemay give the learned Majesty of England an opportunity of correcting hisslips in grammar? That were a rare employment!"
"Nay," said Lord Nigel, "but out of respect, to wait on my lord yourfather."
"My lord my father," replied Lord Dalgarno, "has blue-bottles enough towait on him, and can well dispense with such a butterfly as myself. Hecan lift the cup of sack to his head without my assistance; and, shouldthe said paternal head turn something giddy, there be men enough toguide his right honourable lordship to his lordship's right honourablecouch.--Now, do not stare at me, Nigel, as if my words were to sink theboat with us. I love my father--I love him dearly--and I respect him,too, though I respect not many things; a trustier old Trojan neverbelted a broadsword by a loop of leather. But what then? He belongs tothe old world, I to the new. He has his follies, I have mine; and theless either of us sees of the other's peccadilloes, the greater will bethe honour and respect--that, I think, is the proper phrase--I say the_respect_ in which we shall hold each other. Being apart, each of us ishimself, such as nature and circumstances have made him; but, couple usup too closely together, you will be sure to have in your leash eitheran old hypocrite or a young one, or perhaps both the one and t'other."
As he spoke thus, the boat put into the landing-place at Blackfriars.Lord Dalgarno sprung ashore, and, flinging his cloak and rapier to hispage, recommended to his companion to do the like. "We are coming amonga press of gallants," he said; "and, if we walked thus muffled, we shalllook like your tawny-visaged Don, who wraps him close in his cloak, toconceal the defects of his doublet."
"I have known many an honest man do that, if it please your lordship,"said Richie Moniplies, who had been watching for an opportunity tointrude himself on the conversation, and probably remembered what hadbeen his own condition, in respect to cloak and doublet, at a veryrecent period.
Lord Dalgarno stared at him, as if surprised at his assurance; butimmediately answered, "You may have known many things, friend; but, inthe meanwhile, you do not know what principally concerns your master,namely, how to carry his cloak, so as to show to advantage thegold-laced seams, and the lining of sables. See how Lutin holds thesword, with his cloak cast partly over it, yet so as to set off theembossed hilt, and the silver work of the mounting.--Give your familiaryour sword, Nigel," he continued, addressing Lord Glenvarloch, "that hemay practise a lesson in an art so necessary."
"Is it altogether prudent," said Nigel, unclasping his weapon, andgiving it to Richie, "to walk entirely unarmed?"
"And wherefore not?" said his companion. "You are thinking now of AuldReekie, as my father fondly calls your good Scottish capital, wherethere is such bandying of private feuds and public factions, that a manof any note shall not cross your High Street twice, without endangeringhis life thrice. Here, sir, no brawling in the street is permitted. Yourbull-headed citizen takes up the case so soon as the sword is drawn, andclubs is the word."
"And a hard word it is," said Richie, "as my brain-pan kens at thisblessed moment."
"Were I your master, sir
rah," said Lord Dalgarno, "I would make yourbrain-pan, as you call it, boil over, were you to speak a word in mypresence before you were spoken to."
Richie murmured some indistinct answer, but took the hint, and rankedhimself behind his master along with Lutin, who failed not to expose hisnew companion to the ridicule of the passers-by, by mimicking, as oftenas he could do so unobserved by Richie, his stiff and upright stalkinggait and discontented physiognomy.
"And tell me now, my dear Malcolm," said Nigel, "where we are bendingour course, and whether we shall dine at an apartment of yours?"
"An apartment of mine--yes, surely," answered Lord Dalgarno, "you shalldine at an apartment of mine, and an apartment of yours, and of twentygallants besides; and where the board shall present better cheer, betterwine, and better attendance, than if our whole united exhibitions wentto maintain it. We are going to the most noted ordinary of London."
"That is, in common language, an inn, or a tavern," said Nigel.
"An inn, or a tavern, my most green and simple friend!" exclaimed LordDalgarno. "No, no--these are places where greasy citizens take pipeand pot, where the knavish pettifoggers of the law spunge on their mostunhappy victims--where Templars crack jests as empty as their nuts, andwhere small gentry imbibe such thin potations, that they get dropsiesinstead of getting drunk. An ordinary is a late-invented institution,sacred to Bacchus and Comus, where the choicest noble gallants of thetime meet with the first and most ethereal wits of the age,--where thewine is the very soul of the choicest grape, refined as the genius ofthe poet, and ancient and generous as the blood of the nobles. And thenthe fare is something beyond your ordinary gross terrestrial food! Seaand land are ransacked to supply it; and the invention of six ingeniouscooks kept eternally upon the rack to make their art hold pace with, andif possible enhance, the exquisite quality of the materials."
"By all which rhapsody," said Lord Glenvarloch, "I can only understand,as I did before, that we are going to a choice tavern, where we shall behandsomely entertained, on paying probably as handsome a reckoning."
"Reckoning!" exclaimed Lord Dalgarno in the same tone as before,"perish the peasantly phrase! What profanation! Monsieur le Chevalier deBeaujeu, pink of Paris and flower of Gascony--he who can tell the age ofhis wine by the bare smell, who distils his sauces in an alembic by theaid of Lully's philosophy--who carves with such exquisite precision,that he gives to noble, knight and squire, the portion of the pheasantwhich exactly accords with his rank--nay, he who shall divide a becaficointo twelve parts with such scrupulous exactness, that of twelve guestsnot one shall have the advantage of the other in a hair's breadth, orthe twentieth part of a drachm, yet you talk of him and of a reckoningin the same breath! Why, man, he is the well-known and general refereein all matters affecting the mysteries of Passage, Hazard, In andIn, Penneeck, and Verquire, and what not--why, Beaujeu is King ofthe Card-pack, and Duke of the Dice-box--HE call a reckoning like agreen-aproned, red-nosed son of the vulgar spigot! O, my dearest Nigel,what a word you have spoken, and of what a person! That you know himnot, is your only apology for such blasphemy; and yet I scarce hold itadequate, for to have been a day in London and not to know Beaujeu, is acrime of its own kind. But you _shall_ know him this blessed moment,and shall learn to hold yourself in horror for the enormities you haveuttered."
"Well, but mark you," said Nigel, "this worthy chevalier keeps not allthis good cheer at his own cost, does he?"
"No, no," answered Lord Dalgarno; "there is a sort of ceremony which mychevalier's friends and intimates understand, but with which you have nobusiness at present. There is, as majesty might say, a _symbolum_ to bedisbursed--in other words, a mutual exchange of courtesies take placebetwixt Beaujeu and his guests. He makes them a free present of thedinner and wine, as often as they choose to consult their own felicityby frequenting his house at the hour of noon, and they, in gratitude,make the chevalier a present of a Jacobus. Then you must know, that,besides Comus and Bacchus, that princess of sublunary affairs, the DivaFortuna, is frequently worshipped at Beaujeu's, and he, as officiatinghigh-priest, hath, as in reason he should, a considerable advantage froma share of the sacrifice."
"In other words," said Lord Glenvarloch, "this man keeps agaming-house."
"A house in which you may certainly game," said Lord Dalgarno, "as youmay in your own chamber if you have a mind; nay, I remember old TomTally played a hand at put for a wager with Quinze le Va, the Frenchman,during morning prayers in St. Paul's; the morning was misty, and theparson drowsy, and the whole audience consisted of themselves and ablind woman, and so they escaped detection."
"For all this, Malcolm," said the young lord, gravely, "I cannot dinewith you to-day, at this same ordinary."
"And wherefore, in the name of heaven, should you draw back from yourword?" said Lord Dalgarno.
"I do not retract my word, Malcolm; but I am bound, by an early promiseto my father, never to enter the doors of a gaming-house."
"I tell you this is none," said Lord Dalgarno; "it is but, in plainterms, an eating-house, arranged on civiller terms, and frequented bybetter company, than others in this town; and if some of them do amusethemselves with cards and hazard, they are men of honour, and who playas such, and for no more than they can well afford to lose. It was not,and could not be, such houses that your father desired you to avoid.Besides, he might as well have made you swear you would never takeaccommodation of an inn, tavern, eating-house, or place of publicreception of any kind; for there is no such place of public resort butwhere your eyes may be contaminated by the sight of a pack of pieces ofpainted pasteboard, and your ears profaned by the rattle of those littlespotted cubes of ivory. The difference is, that where we go, we mayhappen to see persons of quality amusing themselves with a game; and inthe ordinary houses you will meet bullies and sharpers, who will striveeither to cheat or to swagger you out of your money."
"I am sure you would not willingly lead me to do what is wrong," saidNigel; "but my father had a horror for games of chance, religiousI believe, as well as prudential. He judged from I know not whatcircumstance, a fallacious one I should hope, that I should have apropensity to such courses, and I have told you the promise which heexacted from me."
"Now, by my honour," said Dalgarno, "what you have said affords thestrongest reason for my insisting that you go with me. A man who wouldshun any danger, should first become acquainted with its real bearingand extent, and that in the company of a confidential guide and guard.Do you think I myself game? Good faith, my father's oaks grow too farfrom London, and stand too fast rooted in the rocks of Perthshire, forme to troll them down with a die, though I have seen whole forests godown like nine-pins. No, no--these are sports for the wealthy Southron,not for the poor Scottish noble. The place is an eating-house, and assuch you and I will use it. If others use it to game in, it is theirfault, but neither that of the house nor ours."
Unsatisfied with this reasoning, Nigel still insisted upon the promisehe had given to his father, until his companion appeared ratherdispleased, and disposed to impute to him injurious and unhandsomesuspicions. Lord Glenvarloch could not stand this change of tone. Herecollected that much was due from him to Lord Dalgarno, on accountof his father's ready and efficient friendship, and something also onaccount of the frank manner in which the young man himself had offeredhim his intimacy. He had no reason to doubt his assurances, that thehouse where they were about to dine did not fall under the descriptionof places which his father's prohibition referred; and finally, he wasstrong in his own resolution to resist every temptation to join ingames of chance. He therefore pacified Lord Dalgarno, by intimatinghis willingness to go along with him; and, the good-humour of the youngcourtier instantaneously returning, he again ran on in a grotesque androdomontade account of the host, Monsieur de Beaujeu, which he did notconclude until they had reached the temple of hospitality over whichthat eminent professor presided.