CHAPTER XIV
Bingo, why, Bingo! hey, boy--here, sir, here!-- He's gone and off, but he'll be home before us;-- 'Tis the most wayward cur e'er mumbled bone, Or dogg'd a master's footstep.--Bingo loves me Better than ever beggar loved his alms; Yet, when he takes such humour, you may coax Sweet Mistress Fantasy, your worship's mistress, Out of her sullen moods, as soon as Bingo. _The Dominie And His Dog_.
Richie Moniplies was as good as his word. Two or three mornings afterthe young lord had possessed himself of his new lodgings, he appearedbefore Nigel, as he was preparing to dress, having left his pillow at anhour much later than had formerly been his custom.
As Nigel looked upon his attendant, he observed there was a gatheringgloom upon his solemn features, which expressed either additionalimportance, or superadded discontent, or a portion of both.
"How now," he said, "what is the matter this morning, Richie, that youhave made your face so like the grotesque mask on one of the spoutsyonder?" pointing to the Temple Church, of which Gothic building theyhad a view from the window.
Richie swivelled his head a little to the right with as little alacrityas if he had the crick in his neck, and instantly resuming his posture,replied,--"Mask here, mask there--it were nae such matters that I haveto speak anent."
"And what matters have you to speak anent, then?" said his master, whomcircumstances had inured to tolerate a good deal of freedom from hisattendant.
"My lord,"--said Richie, and then stopped to cough and hem, as if whathe had to say stuck somewhat in his throat.
"I guess the mystery," said Nigel, "you want a little money, Richie;will five pieces serve the present turn?"
"My lord," said Richie, "I may, it is like, want a trifle of money; andI am glad at the same time, and sorry, that it is mair plenty with yourlordship than formerly."
"Glad and sorry, man!" said Lord Nigel, "why, you are reading riddles tome, Richie."
"My riddle will be briefly read," said Richie; "I come to crave of yourlordship your commands for Scotland."
"For Scotland!--why, art thou mad, man?" said Nigel; "canst thou nottarry to go down with me?"
"I could be of little service," said Richie, "since you purpose to hireanother page and groom."
"Why, thou jealous ass," said the young lord, "will not thy load ofduty lie the lighter?--Go, take thy breakfast, and drink thy ale doublestrong, to put such absurdities out of thy head--I could be angry withthee for thy folly, man--but I remember how thou hast stuck to me inadversity."
"Adversity, my lord, should never have parted us," said Richie;"methinks, had the warst come to warst, I could have starved asgallantly as your lordship, or more so, being in some sort used to it;for, though I was bred at a flasher's stall, I have not through my lifehad a constant intimacy with collops."
"Now, what is the meaning of all this trash?" said Nigel; "or has it noother end than to provoke my patience? You know well enough, that, had Itwenty serving-men, I would hold the faithful follower that stood byme in my distress the most valued of them all. But it is totally out ofreason to plague me with your solemn capriccios."
"My lord," said Richie, "in declaring your trust in me, you have donewhat is honourable to yourself, if I may with humility say so much, andin no way undeserved on my side. Nevertheless, we must part."
"Body of me, man, why?" said Lord Nigel; "what reason can there be forit, if we are mutually satisfied?"
"My lord," said Richie Moniplies, "your lordship's occupations are suchas I cannot own or countenance by my presence."
"How now, sirrah!" said his master, angrily.
"Under favour, my lord," replied his domestic, "it is unequal dealing tobe equally offended by my speech and by my silence. If you can hear withpatience the grounds of my departure, it may be, for aught I know, thebetter for you here and hereafter--if not, let me have my license ofdeparture in silence, and so no more about it."
"Go to, sir!" said Nigel; "speak out your mind--only remember to whomyou speak it."
"Weel, weel, my lord--I speak it with humility;" (never did Richie lookwith more starched dignity than when he uttered the word;) "but doyou think this dicing and card-shuffling, and haunting of taverns andplayhouses, suits your lordship--for I am sure it does not suit me?"
"Why, you are not turned precisian or puritan, fool?" said LordGlenvarloch, laughing, though, betwixt resentment and shame, it cost himsome trouble to do so.
"My lord," replied the follower, "I ken the purport of your query. Iam, it may be, a little of a precisian, and I wish to Heaven I was mairworthy of the name; but let that be a pass-over.--I have stretched theduties of a serving-man as far as my northern conscience will permit. Ican give my gude word to my master, or to my native country, when I amin a foreign land, even though I should leave downright truth a wee bitbehind me. Ay, and I will take or give a slash with ony man thatspeaks to the derogation of either. But this chambering, dicing, andplay-haunting, is not my element--I cannot draw breath in it--and whenI hear of your lordship winning the siller that some poor creature mayfull sairly miss--by my saul, if it wad serve your necessity, ratherthan you gained it from him, I wad take a jump over the hedge with yourlordship, and cry 'Stand!' to the first grazier we met that was comingfrom Smithfield with the price of his Essex calves in his leathernpouch!"
"You are a simpleton," said Nigel, who felt, however, muchconscience-struck; "I never play but for small sums."
"Ay, my lord," replied the unyielding domestic, "and--still withreverence--it is even sae much the waur. If you played with your equals,there might be like sin, but there wad be mair warldly honour in it.Your lordship kens, or may ken, by experience of your ain, whilk is notas yet mony weeks auld, that small sums can ill be missed by those thathave nane larger; and I maun e'en be plain with you, that men notice itof your lordship, that ye play wi' nane but the misguided creatures thatcan but afford to lose bare stakes."
"No man dare say so!" replied Nigel, very angrily. "I play with whom Iplease, but I will only play for what stake I please."
"That is just what they say, my lord," said the unmerciful Richie,whose natural love of lecturing, as well as his bluntness of feeling,prevented him from having any idea of the pain which he was inflictingon his master; "these are even their own very words. It was butyesterday your lordship was pleased, at that same ordinary, to win fromyonder young hafflins gentleman, with the crimson velvet doublet, andthe cock's feather in his beaver--him, I mean, who fought with theranting captain--a matter of five pounds, or thereby. I saw him comethrough the hall; and, if he was not cleaned out of cross and pile, Inever saw a ruined man in my life."
"Impossible!" said Lord Glenvarloch--"Why, who is he? he looked like aman of substance."
"All is not gold that glistens, my lord," replied Richie; "'broideryand bullion buttons make bare pouches. And if you ask who he is--maybe Ihave a guess, and care not to tell."
"At least, if I have done any such fellow an injury," said the LordNigel, "let me know how I can repair it."
"Never fash your beard about that, my lord,--with reverence always,"said Richie,--"he shall be suitably cared after. Think on him but asane wha was running post to the devil, and got a shouldering from yourlordship to help him on his journey. But I will stop him, if reason can;and so your lordship needs asks nae mair about it, for there is no usein your knowing it, but much the contrair."
"Hark you, sirrah," said his master, "I have borne with you thus far,for certain reasons; but abuse my good-nature no farther--and since youmust needs go, why, go a God's name, and here is to pay your journey."So saying, he put gold into his hand, which Richie told over piece bypiece, with the utmost accuracy.
"Is it all right--or are they wanting in weight--or what the devil keepsyou, when your hurry was so great five minutes since?" said the younglord, now thoroughly nettled at the presumptuous precision with whichRichie dealt forth his canons of morality.
"The tale of coin is complete," said Richie, with the
most imperturbablegravity; "and, for the weight, though they are sae scrupulous in thistown, as make mouths at a piece that is a wee bit light, or that hasbeen cracked within the ring, my sooth, they will jump at them inEdinburgh like a cock at a grosart. Gold pieces are not so plenty there,the mair the pity!"
"The more is your folly, then," said Nigel, whose anger was onlymomentary, "that leave the land where there is enough of them."
"My lord," said Richie, "to be round with you, the grace of God isbetter than gold pieces. When Goblin, as you call yonder MonsieurLutin,--and you might as well call him Gibbet, since that is what he islike to end in,--shall recommend a page to you, ye will hear little suchdoctrine as ye have heard from me.--And if they were my last words," hesaid, raising his voice, "I would say you are misled, and are forsakingthe paths which your honourable father trode in; and, what is more, youare going--still under correction--to the devil with a dishclout, for yeare laughed at by them that lead you into these disordered bypaths."
"Laughed at!" said Nigel, who, like others of his age, was more sensibleto ridicule than to reason--"Who dares laugh at me?"
"My lord, as sure as I live by bread--nay, more, as I am a trueman--and, I think, your lordship never found Richie's tongue bearingaught but the truth--unless that your lordship's credit, my country'sprofit, or, it may be, some sma' occasion of my ain, made it unnecessaryto promulgate the haill veritie,--I say then, as I am a true man, when Isaw that puir creature come through the ha', at that ordinary, whilk isaccurst (Heaven forgive me for swearing!) of God and man, with his teethset, and his hands clenched, and his bonnet drawn over his brows like adesperate man, Goblin said to me, 'There goes a dunghill chicken, thatyour master has plucked clean enough; it will be long ere his lordshipruffle a feather with a cock of the game.' And so, my lord, to speakit out, the lackeys, and the gallants, and more especially your swornbrother, Lord Dalgarno, call you the sparrow-hawk.--I had some thoughtto have cracked Lutin's pate for the speech, but, after a', thecontroversy was not worth it."
"Do they use such terms of me?" said Lord Nigel. "Death and the devil!"
"And the devil's dam, my lord," answered Richie; "they are all threebusy in London.--And, besides, Lutin and his master laughed at you, mylord, for letting it be thought that--I shame to speak it--that ye wereover well with the wife of the decent honest man whose house you butnow left, as not sufficient for your new bravery, whereas they said, thelicentious scoffers, that you pretended to such favour when you had notcourage enough for so fair a quarrel, and that the sparrow-hawk wastoo craven-crested to fly at the wife of a cheesemonger."--He stopped amoment, and looked fixedly in his master's face, which was inflamed withshame and anger, and then proceeded. "My lord, I did you justice in mythought, and myself too; for, thought I, he would have been as deep inthat sort of profligacy as in others, if it hadna been Richie's fourquarters."
"What new nonsense have you got to plague me with?" said Lord Nigel."But go on, since it is the last time I am to be tormented with yourimpertinence,--go on, and make the most of your time."
"In troth," said Richie, "and so will I even do. And as Heaven hasbestowed on me a tongue to speak and to advise----"
"Which talent you can by no means be accused of suffering to remainidle," said Lord Glenvarloch, interrupting him.
"True, my lord," said Richie, again waving his hand, as if to bespeakhis master's silence and attention; "so, I trust, you will think sometime hereafter. And, as I am about to leave your service, it is properthat ye suld know the truth, that ye may consider the snares to whichyour youth and innocence may be exposed, when aulder and doucer headsare withdrawn from beside you.--There has been a lusty, good-lookingkimmer, of some forty, or bygane, making mony speerings about you, mylord."
"Well, sir, what did she want with me?" said Lord Nigel.
"At first, my lord," replied his sapient follower, "as she seemed to bea well-fashioned woman, and to take pleasure in sensible company, I wasno way reluctant to admit her to my conversation."
"I dare say not," said Lord Nigel; "nor unwilling to tell her about myprivate affairs."
"Not I, truly, my lord," said the attendant;--"for, though she asked memony questions about your fame, your fortune, your business here, andsuch like, I did not think it proper to tell her altogether the truththereanent."
"I see no call on you whatever," said Lord Nigel, "to tell the womaneither truth or lies upon what she had nothing to do with."
"I thought so, too, my lord," replied Richie, "and so I told herneither."
"And what _did_ you tell her, then, you eternal babbler?" said hismaster, impatient of his prate, yet curious to know what it was all toend in.
"I told her," said Richie, "about your warldly fortune, and sae forth,something whilk is not truth just at this time; but which hath beentruth formerly, suld be truth now, and will be truth again,--and thatwas, that you were in possession of your fair lands, whilk ye are butin right of as yet. Pleasant communing we had on that and other topics,until she showed the cloven foot, beginning to confer with me about somewench that she said had a good-will to your lordship, and fain she wouldhave spoken with you in particular anent it; but when I heard of suchinklings, I began to suspect she was little better than--whew! "--Herehe concluded his narrative with a low, but very expressive whistle.
"And what did your wisdom do in these circumstances?" said Lord Nigel,who, notwithstanding his former resentment, could now scarcely forbearlaughing.
"I put on a look, my lord," replied Richie, bending his solemn brows,"that suld give her a heartscald of walking on such errands. I laid herenormities clearly before her, and I threatened her, in sae mony words,that I would have her to the ducking-stool; and she, on the contrairpart, miscawed me for a forward northern tyke--and so we parted neverto meet again, as I hope and trust. And so I stood between your lordshipand that temptation, which might have been worse than the ordinary, orthe playhouse either; since you wot well what Solomon, King of the Jews,sayeth of the strange woman--for, said I to mysell, we have taken todicing already, and if we take to drabbing next, the Lord kens what wemay land in!"
"Your impertinence deserves correction, but it is the last which, fora time at least, I shall have to forgive--and I forgive it," said LordGlenvarloch; "and, since we are to part, Richie, I will say no morerespecting your precautions on my account, than that I think you mighthave left me to act according to my own judgment."
"Mickle better not," answered Richie--"mickle better not; we are a'frail creatures, and can judge better for ilk ither than in our aincases. And for me, even myself, saving that case of the Sifflication,which might have happened to ony one, I have always observed myself tobe much more prudential in what I have done in your lordship'sbehalf, than even in what I have been able to transact for my owninterest--whilk last, I have, indeed, always postponed, as in duty Iought."
"I do believe thou hast," said Lord Nigel, "having ever found thee trueand faithful. And since London pleases you so little, I will bid you ashort farewell; and you may go down to Edinburgh until I come thithermyself, when I trust you will re-enter into my service."
"Now, Heaven bless you, my lord," said Richie Moniplies, with upliftedeyes; "for that word sounds more like grace than ony has come out ofyour mouth this fortnight.--I give you godd'en, my lord."
So saying, he thrust forth his immense bony hand, seized on that of LordGlenvarloch, raised it to his lips, then turned short on his heel, andleft the room hastily, as if afraid of showing more emotion than wasconsistent with his ideas of decorum. Lord Nigel, rather surprised athis sudden exit, called after him to know whether he was sufficientlyprovided with money; but Richie, shaking his head, without making anyother answer, ran hastily down stairs, shut the street-door heavilybehind him, and was presently seen striding along the Strand.
His master almost involuntarily watched and distinguished the tallraw-boned figure of his late follower, from the window, for some time,until he was lost among the crowd of passengers. Nigel's reflec
tionswere not altogether those of self-approval. It was no good sign of hiscourse of life, (he could not help acknowledging this much to himself,)that so faithful an adherent no longer seemed to feel the same pridein his service, or attachment to his person, which he had formerlymanifested. Neither could he avoid experiencing some twinges ofconscience, while he felt in some degree the charges which Richiehad preferred against him, and experienced a sense of shame andmortification, arising from the colour given by others to that, whichhe himself would have called his caution and moderation in play. He hadonly the apology, that it had never occurred to himself in this light.
Then his pride and self-love suggested, that, on the other hand, Richie,with all his good intentions, was little better than a conceited,pragmatical domestic, who seemed disposed rather to play the tutor thanthe lackey, and who, out of sheer love, as he alleged, to his master'sperson, assumed the privilege of interfering with, and controlling, hisactions, besides rendering him ridiculous in the gay world, from theantiquated formality, and intrusive presumption, of his manners.
Nigel's eyes were scarce turned from the window, when his new landlordentering, presented to him a slip of paper, carefully bound round witha string of flox-silk and sealed---it had been given in, he said, by awoman, who did not stop an instant. The contents harped upon the samestring which Richie Moniplies had already jarred. The epistle was in thefollowing words:
For the Right Honourable hands of Lord Glenvarloch, "These, from afriend unknown:--
"MY LORD,
"You are trusting to an unhonest friend, and diminishing an honestreputation. An unknown but real friend of your lordship will speak inone word what you would not learn from flatterers in so many days, asshould suffice for your utter ruin. He whom you think most true--I sayyour friend Lord Dalgarno--is utterly false to you, and doth but seek,under pretence of friendship, to mar your fortune, and diminish the goodname by which you might mend it. The kind countenance which he showsto you, is more dangerous than the Prince's frown; even as to gainat Beaujeu's ordinary is more discreditable than to lose. Beware ofboth.--And this is all from your true but nameless friend, IGNOTO."
Lord Glenvarloch paused for an instant, and crushed the papertogether--then again unfolded and read it with attention--benthis brows--mused for a moment, and then tearing it to fragments,exclaimed--"Begone for a vile calumny! But I will watch--I willobserve--"
Thought after thought rushed on him; but, upon the whole, LordGlenvarloch was so little satisfied with the result of his ownreflections, that he resolved to dissipate them by a walk in the Park,and, taking his cloak and beaver, went thither accordingly.