CHAPTER XVII
Come hither, young one,--Mark me! Thou art now 'Mongst men o' the sword, that live by reputation More than by constant income--Single-suited They are, I grant you; yet each single suit Maintains, on the rough guess, a thousand followers-- And they be men, who, hazarding their all, Needful apparel, necessary income, And human body, and immortal soul, Do in the very deed but hazard nothing-- So strictly is that ALL bound in reversion; Clothes to the broker, income to the usurer, And body to disease, and soul to the foul fiend; Who laughs to see Soldadoes and Fooladoes, Play better than himself his game on earth. _The Mohocks._
"Your lordship," said Reginald Lowestoffe, "must be content to exchangeyour decent and court-beseeming rapier, which I will retain in safekeeping, for this broadsword, with an hundredweight of rusty iron aboutthe hilt, and to wear these huge-paned slops, instead of your civiland moderate hose. We allow no cloak, for your ruffian always walks in_cuerpo_; and the tarnished doublet of bald velvet, with its discolouredembroidery, and--I grieve to speak it--a few stains from the blood ofthe grape, will best suit the garb of a roaring boy. I will leave you tochange your suit for an instant, till I can help to truss you."
Lowestoffe retired, while slowly, and with hesitation, Nigel obeyedhis instructions. He felt displeasure and disgust at the scoundrellydisguise which he was under the necessity of assuming; but when heconsidered the bloody consequences which law attached to his rash actof violence, the easy and indifferent temper of James, the prejudices ofhis son, the overbearing influence of the Duke of Buckingham, which wassure to be thrown into the scale against him; and, above all, whenhe reflected that he must now look upon the active, assiduous, andinsinuating Lord Dalgarno, as a bitter enemy, reason told him he was ina situation of peril which authorised all honest means, even the mostunseemly in outward appearance, to extricate himself from so dangerous apredicament.
While he was changing his dress, and musing on these particulars, hisfriendly host re-entered the sleeping apartment--"Zounds!" he said, "mylord, it was well you went not straight into that same Alsatia of oursat the time you proposed, for the hawks have stooped upon it. Hereis Jem come back with tidings, that he saw a pursuivant there with aprivy-council warrant, and half a score of yeomen assistants, armed tothe teeth, and the horn which we heard was sounded to call out the posseof the Friars. Indeed, when old Duke Hildebrod saw that the quest wasafter some one of whom he knew nothing, he permitted, out of courtesy,the man-catcher to search through his dominions, quite certain thatthey would take little by their motions; for Duke Hildebrod is a mostjudicious potentate.--Go back, you bastard, and bring us word when allis quiet."
"And who may Duke Hildebrod be?" said Lord Glenvarloch.
"Nouns! my lord," said the Templar, "have you lived so long on the town,and never heard of the valiant, and as wise and politic as valiant, DukeHildebrod, grand protector of the liberties of Alsatia? I thought theman had never whirled a die but was familiar with his fame."
"Yet I have never heard of him, Master Lowestoffe," said LordGlenvarloch; "or, what is the same thing, I have paid no attention toaught that may have passed in conversation respecting him."
"Why, then," said Lowestoffe--"but, first, let me have the honour oftrussing you. Now, observe, I have left several of the points untied, ofset purpose; and if it please you to let a small portion of your shirtbe seen betwixt your doublet and the band of your upper stock, it willhave so much the more rakish effect, and will attract you respect inAlsatia, where linen is something scarce. Now, I tie some of thepoints carefully asquint, for your ruffianly gallant never appears tooaccurately trussed--so."
"Arrange it as you will, sir," said Nigel; "but let me hear at leastsomething of the conditions of the unhappy district into which, withother wretches, I am compelled to retreat."
"Why, my lord," replied the Templar, "our neighbouring state of Alsatia,which the law calls the Sanctuary of White-friars, has had its mutationsand revolutions like greater kingdoms; and, being in some sort alawless, arbitrary government, it follows, of course, that these havebeen more frequent than our own better regulated commonwealth of theTemplars, that of Gray's Inn, and other similar associations, havehad the fortune to witness. Our traditions and records speak of twentyrevolutions within the last twelve years, in which the aforesaid statehas repeatedly changed from absolute despotism to republicanism, notforgetting the intermediate stages of oligarchy, limited monarchy, andeven gynocracy; for I myself remember Alsatia governed for nearly ninemonths by an old fish-woman. 'I hen it fell under the dominion of abroken attorney, who was dethroned by a reformado captain, who, provingtyrannical, was deposed by a hedgeparson, who was succeeded, uponresignation of his power, by Duke Jacob Hildebrod, of that name thefirst, whom Heaven long preserve."
"And is this potentate's government," said Lord Glenvarloch, forcinghimself to take some interest in the conversation, "of a despoticcharacter?"
"Pardon me, my lord," said the Templar; "this said sovereign is toowise to incur, like many of his predecessors, the odium of wieldingso important an authority by his own sole will. He has established acouncil of state, who regularly meet for their morning's draughtat seven o'clock; convene a second time at eleven for their_ante-meridiem_, or whet; and, assembling in solemn conclave at thehour of two afternoon, for the purpose of consulting for the good ofthe commonwealth, are so prodigal of their labour in the service ofthe state, that they seldom separate before midnight. Into this worthysenate, composed partly of Duke Hildebrod's predecessors in his highoffice, whom he has associated with him to prevent the envy attendingsovereign and sole authority, I must presently introduce your lordship,that they may admit you to the immunities of the Friars, and assign youa place of residence."
"Does their authority extend to such regulation?" said Lord Glenvarloch.
"The council account it a main point of their privileges, my lord,"answered Lowestoffe; "and, in fact, it is one of the most powerful meansby which they support their authority. For when Duke Ilildebrod and hissenate find a topping householder in the Friars becomes discontented andfactious, it is but assigning him, for a lodger, some fat bankrupt, ornew lesidenter, whose circumstances require refuge, and whose purse canpay for it, and the malecontent becomes as tractable as a lamb. Asfor the poorer refugees, they let them shift as they can; but theregistration of their names in the Duke's entry-book, and the payment ofgarnish conforming to their circumstances, is never dispensed with; andthe Friars would be a very unsafe residence for the stranger who shoulddispute these points of jurisdiction."
"Well, Master Lowestoffe," said Lord Glenvarloch, "I must be controlledby the circumstances which dictate to me this state of concealment--ofcourse, I am desirous not to betray my name and rank."
"It will be highly advisable, my lord," said Lowestoffe; "and is acase thus provided for in the statutes of the republic, or monarchy, orwhatsoever you call it.--He who desires that no questions shall be askedhim concerning his name, cause of refuge, and the like, may escapethe usual interrogations upon payment of double the garnish otherwisebelonging to his condition. Complying with this essential stipulation,your lordship may register yourself as King of Bantam if you will, fornot a question will be asked of you.--But here comes our scout, withnews of peace and tranquillity. Now, I will go with your lordshipmyself, and present you to the council of Alsatia, with all theinfluence which I have over them as an office-bearer in the Temple,which is not slight; for they have come halting off upon all occasionswhen we have taken part against them, and that they well know. The timeis propitious, for as the council is now met in Alsatia, so the Templewalks are quiet. Now, my lord, throw your cloak about you, to hide yourpresent exterior. You shall give it to the boy at the foot of the stairsthat go down to the Sanctuary; and as the ballad says that Queen Eleanorsunk at Charing Cross and rose at Queenhithe, so you shall sink anobleman in the Temple Gardens, and rise an Alsatian at Whitefriars."
They went out accordingly, attended b
y the little scout, traversedthe gardens, descended the stairs, and at the bottom the young Templarexclaimed,--"And now let us sing, with Ovid,
'In nova fert animus mutatas dicere formas--'
Off, off, ye lendings!" he continued, in the same vein. "Via, thecurtain that shadowed Borgia!--But how now, my lord?" he continued,when he observed Lord Glenvarloch was really distressed at the degradingchange in his situation, "I trust you are not offended at my rattlingfolly? I would but reconcile you to your present circumstances, and giveyou the tone of this strange place. Come, cheer up; I trust it will onlybe your residence for a very few days."
Nigel was only able to press his hand, and reply in a whisper, "I amsensible of your kindness. I know I must drink the cup which my ownfolly has filled for me. Pardon me, that, at the first taste, I feel itsbitterness."
Reginald Lowestoffe was bustlingly officious and good-natured; but,used to live a scrambling, rakish course of life himself, he had not theleast idea of the extent of Lord Glenvarloch's mental sufferings, andthought of his temporary concealment as if it were merely the trick ofa wanton boy, who plays at hide-and-seek with his tutor. With theappearance of the place, too, he was familiar--but on his companion itproduced a deep sensation.
The ancient Sanctuary at Whitefriars lay considerably lower than theelevated terraces and gardens of the Temple, and was therefore generallyinvolved in the damps and fogs arising from the Thames. The brickbuildings by which it was occupied, crowded closely on each other, for,in a place so rarely privileged, every foot of ground was valuable; but,erected in many cases by persons whose funds were inadequate to theirspeculations, the houses were generally insufficient, and exhibited thelamentable signs of having become ruinous while they were yet new.The wailing of children, the scolding of their mothers, the miserableexhibition of ragged linens hung from the windows to dry, spoke thewants and distresses of the wretched inhabitants; while the sounds ofcomplaint were mocked and overwhelmed in the riotous shouts, oaths,profane songs, and boisterous laughter, that issued from the alehousesand taverns, which, as the signs indicated, were equal in number to allthe other houses; and, that the full character of the place might beevident, several faded, tinselled and painted females, looked boldly atthe strangers from their open lattices, or more modestly seemed busiedwith the cracked flower-pots, filled with mignonette and rosemary,which were disposed in front of the windows, to the great risk of thepassengers.
"_Semi-reducta Venus_," said the Templar, pointing to one of thesenymphs, who seemed afraid of observation, and partly concealed herselfbehind the casement, as she chirped to a miserable blackbird, the tenantof a wicker prison, which hung outside on the black brick wall.--"Iknow the face of yonder waistcoateer," continued the guide; "and I couldwager a rose-noble, from the posture she stands in, that she has cleanhead-gear and a soiled night-rail.--But here come two of the maleinhabitants, smoking like moving volcanoes! These are roaring blades,whom Nicotia and Trinidado serve, I dare swear, in lieu of beef andpudding; for be it known to you, my lord, that the king's counter-blastagainst the Indian weed will no more pass current in Alsatia than willhis writ of _capias_."
As he spoke, the two smokers approached; shaggy, uncombed ruffians,whose enormous mustaches were turned back over their ears, and mingledwith the wild elf-locks of their hair, much of which was seen underthe old beavers which they wore aside upon their heads, while somestraggling portion escaped through the rents of the hats aforesaid.Their tarnished plush jerkins, large slops, or trunk-breeches, theirbroad greasy shoulder-belts, and discoloured scarfs, and, above all, theostentatious manner in which the one wore a broad-sword and the other anextravagantly long rapier and poniard, marked the true Alsatian bully,then, and for a hundred years afterwards, a well-known character.
"Tour out," said the one ruffian to the other; "tour the bien morttwiring at the gentry cove!" [Footnote: Look sharp. See how the girl iscoquetting with the strange gallants!]
"I smell a spy," replied the other, looking at Nigel. "Chalk him acrossthe peepers with your cheery." [Footnote: Slash him over the eyes withyour dagger.]
"Bing avast, bing avast!" replied his companion; "yon other is rattlingReginald Lowestoffe of the Temple--I know him; he is a good boy, andfree of the province."
So saying, and enveloping themselves in another thick cloud of smoke,they went on without farther greeting.
"_Grasso in aere_!" said the Templar. "You hear what a character theimpudent knave gives me; but, so it serves your lordship's turn, I carenot.--And, now, let me ask your lordship what name you will assume, forwe are near the ducal palace of Duke Hildebrod."
"I will be called Grahame," said Nigel; "it was my mother's name."
"Grime," repeated the Templar, "will suit Alsatia well enough--both agrim and grimy place of refuge."
"I said Grahame, sir, not Grime," said Nigel, something shortly, andlaying an emphasis on the vowel--for few Scotsmen understand railleryupon the subject of their names.
"I beg pardon, my lord," answered the undisconcerted punster; "but_Graam_ will suit the circumstance, too--it signifies tribulation inthe High Dutch, and your lordship must be considered as a man undertrouble."
Nigel laughed at the pertinacity of the Templar; who, proceeding topoint out a sign representing, or believed to represent, a dog attackinga bull, and running at his head, in the true scientific style ofonset,--"There," said he, "doth faithful Duke Hildebrod deal forth laws,as well as ale and strong waters, to his faithful Alsatians. Being adetermined champion of Paris Garden, he has chosen a sign correspondingto his habits; and he deals in giving drink to the thirsty, that hehimself may drink without paying, and receive pay for what is drunken byothers.--Let us enter the ever-open gate of this second Axylus."
As they spoke, they entered the dilapidated tavern, which was,nevertheless, more ample in dimensions, and less ruinous, than manyhouses in the same evil neighbourhood. Two or three haggard, raggeddrawers, ran to and fro, whose looks, like those of owls, seemed onlyadapted for midnight, when other creatures sleep, and who by day seemedbleared, stupid, and only half awake. Guided by one of these blinkingGanymedes, they entered a room, where the feeble rays of the sun werealmost wholly eclipsed by volumes of tobacco-smoke, rolled from thetubes of the company, while out of the cloudy sanctuary arose the oldchant of--
"Old Sir Simon the King, And old Sir Simon the King, With his malmsey nose, And his ale-dropped hose, And sing hey ding-a-ding-ding."
Duke Hildebrod, who himself condescended to chant this ditty to hisloving subjects, was a monstrously fat old man, with only one eye; anda nose which bore evidence to the frequency, strength, and depth ofhis potations. He wore a murrey-coloured plush jerkin, stained with theoverflowings of the tankard, and much the worse for wear, and unbuttonedat bottom for the ease of his enormous paunch. Behind him lay afavourite bull-dog, whose round head and single black glancing eye, aswell as the creature's great corpulence, gave it a burlesque resemblanceto its master.
The well-beloved counsellors who surrounded the ducal throne, incensedit with tobacco, pledged its occupier in thick clammy ale, and echoedback his choral songs, were Satraps worthy of such a Soldan. The buffjerkin, broad belt, and long sword of one, showed him to be a LowCountry soldier, whose look of scowling importance, and drunkenimpudence, were designed to sustain his title to call himself a RovingBlade. It seemed to Nigel that he had seen this fellow somewhere orother. A hedge-parson, or buckle-beggar, as that order of priesthoodhas been irreverently termed, sat on the Duke's left, and was easilydistinguished by his torn band, flapped hat, and the remnants of a rustycassock. Beside the parson sat a most wretched and meagre-looking oldman, with a threadbare hood of coarse kersey upon his head, and buttonedabout his neck, while his pinched features, like those of old Daniel,were illuminated by
--"an eye, Through the last look of dotage still cunning and sly."
On his left was placed a broken attorney, who, for some malpractices,had b
een struck from the roll of practitioners, and who had nothingleft of his profession, except its roguery. One or two persons ofless figure, amongst whom there was one face, which, like that of thesoldier, seemed not unknown to Nigel, though he could not recollectwhere he had seen it, completed the council-board of Jacob DukeHildebrod.
The strangers had full time to observe all this; for his grace the Duke,whether irresistibly carried on by the full tide of harmony, or whetherto impress the strangers with a proper idea of his consequence, choseto sing his ditty to an end before addressing them, though, during thewhole time, he closely scrutinized them with his single optic.
When Duke Hildebrod had ended his song, he informed his Peers that aworthy officer of the Temple attended them, and commanded the captainand parson to abandon their easy chairs in behalf of the two strangers,whom he placed on his right and left hand. The worthy representative ofthe army and the church of Alsatia went to place themselves on a crazyform at the bottom of the table, which, ill calculated to sustain menof such weight, gave way under them, and the man of the sword and man ofthe gown were rolled over each other on the floor, amidst the exultingshouts of the company. They arose in wrath, contending which should venthis displeasure in the loudest and deepest oaths, a strife in whichthe parson's superior acquaintance with theology enabled him greatly toexcel the captain, and were at length with difficulty tranquillised bythe arrival of the alarmed waiters with more stable chairs, and by along draught of the cooling tankard. When this commotion was appeased,and the strangers courteously accommodated with flagons, after thefashion of the others present, the Duke drank prosperity to the Templein the most gracious manner, together with a cup of welcome to MasterReginald Lowestoffe; and, this courtesy having been thankfully accepted,the party honoured prayed permission to call for a gallon of Rhenish,over which he proposed to open his business.
The mention of a liquor so superior to their usual potations had aninstant and most favourable effect upon the little senate; and itsimmediate appearance might be said to secure a favourable receptionof Master Lowestoffe's proposition, which, after a round or two hadcirculated, he explained to be the admission of his friend Master NigelGrahame to the benefit of the sanctuary and other immunities of Alsatia,in the character of a grand compounder; for so were those termed whopaid a double fee at their matriculation, in order to avoid layingbefore the senate the peculiar circumstances which compelled them totake refuge there.
The worthy Duke heard the proposition with glee, which glittered in hissingle eye; and no wonder, as it was a rare occurrence, and of peculiaradvantage to his private revenue. Accordingly, he commanded his ducalregister to be brought him, a huge book, secured with brass clasps likea merchant's ledger, and whose leaves, stained with wine, and slabberedwith tobacco juice, bore the names probably of as many rogues as are tobe found in the Calendar of Newgate.
Nigel was then directed to lay down two nobles as his ransom, and toclaim privilege by reciting the following doggerel verses, which weredictated to him by the Duke:--
"Your suppliant, by name Nigel Grahame, In fear of mishap From a shoulder-tap; And dreading a claw From the talons of law, That are sharper than briers: His freedom to sue, And rescue by you-- Thorugh weapon and wit, From warrant and writ, From bailiff's hand, From tipstaff's wand, Is come hither to Whitefriars."
As Duke Hildebrod with a tremulous hand began to make the entry, and hadalready, with superfluous generosity, spelled Nigel with two g's insteadof one, he was interrupted by the parson. [Footnote: This curiousregister is still in existence, being in possession of that eminentantiquary, Dr. Dryasdust, who liberally offered the author permission tohave the autograph of Duke Hildebrod engraved as an illustration of thispassage. Unhappily, being rigorous as Ritson himself in adhering to thevery letter of his copy, the worthy Doctor clogged his munificence withthe condition that we should adopt the Duke's orthography, and entitlethe work "The Fortunes of Niggle," with which stipulation we didnot think it necessary to comply.] This reverend gentleman had beenwhispering for a minute or two, not with the captain, but with thatother individual, who dwelt imperfectly, as we have already mentioned,in Nigel's memory, and being, perhaps, still something malecontent onaccount of the late accident, he now requested to be heard before theregistration took place.
"The person," he said, "who hath now had the assurance to proposehimself as a candidate for the privileges and immunities of thishonourable society, is, in plain terms, a beggarly Scot, and we haveenough of these locusts in London already--if we admit such palmer-wormsand caterpillars to the Sanctuary, we shall soon have the whole nation."
"We are not entitled to inquire," said Duke Hildebrod, "whether he beScot, or French, or English; seeing he has honourably laid down hisgarnish, he is entitled to our protection."
"Word of denial, most Sovereign Duke," replied the parson, "I ask him noquestions--his speech betrayeth him--he is a Galilean--and his garnishis forfeited for his assurance in coming within this our realm; and Icall on you, Sir Duke, to put the laws in force against him!"
The Templar here rose, and was about to interrupt the deliberations ofthe court, when the Duke gravely assured him that he should be heardin behalf of his friend, so soon as the council had finished theirdeliberations.
The attorney next rose, and, intimating that he was to speak to thepoint of law, said--"It was easy to be seen that this gentleman did notcome here in any civil case, and that he believed it to be the storythey had already heard of concerning a blow given within the verge ofthe Park--that the Sanctuary would not bear out the offender in suchcase--and that the queer old Chief would send down a broom which wouldsweep the streets of Alsatia from the Strand to the Stairs; and itwas even policy to think what evil might come to their republic, bysheltering an alien in such circumstances."
The captain, who had sat impatiently while these opinions wereexpressed, now sprung on his feet with the vehemence of a cork bouncingfrom a bottle of brisk beer, and, turning up his mustaches with amartial air, cast a glance of contempt on the lawyer and churchman,while he thus expressed his opinion.
"Most noble Duke Hildebrod! When I hear such base, skeldering, coistrilpropositions come from the counsellors of your grace, and when Iremember the Huffs, the Muns, and the Tityretu's by whom your grace'sancestors and predecessors were advised on such occasions, I begin tothink the spirit of action is as dead in Alsatia as in my old grannam;and yet who thinks so thinks a lie, since I will find as many roaringboys in the Friars as shall keep the liberties against all thescavengers of Westminster. And, if we should be overborne for a turn,death and darkness! have we not time to send the gentleman off by water,either to Paris Garden or to the bankside? and, if he is a gallant oftrue breed, will he not make us full amends for all the trouble we have?Let other societies exist by the law, I say that we brisk boys ofthe Fleet live in spite of it; and thrive best when we are in rightopposition to sign and seal, writ and warrant, sergeant and tipstaff,catchpoll, and bum-bailey."
This speech was followed by a murmur of approbation, and Lowestoffe,striking in before the favourable sound had subsided, reminded the Dukeand his council how much the security of their state depended upon theamity of the Templars, who, by closing their gates, could at pleasureshut against the Alsatians the communication betwixt the Friars and theTemple, and that as they conducted themselves on this occasion, so wouldthey secure or lose the benefit of his interest with his own body, whichthey knew not to be inconsiderable. "And, in respect of my friend beinga Scotsman and alien, as has been observed by the reverend divine andlearned lawyer, you are to consider," said Lowestoffe, "for what he ispursued hither--why, for giving the bastinado, not to an Englishman, butto one of his own countrymen. And for my own simple part," he continued,touching Lord Glenvarloch at the same time, to make him understand hespoke but in jest, "if all the Scots in London were to fight a Welshmain, and kill each other to a man, t
he survivor would, in my humbleopinion, be entitled to our gratitude, as having done a most acceptableservice to poor Old England."
A shout of laughter and applause followed this ingenious apology for theclient's state of alienage; and the Templar followed up his plea withthe following pithy proposition:--"I know well," said he, "it is thecustom of the fathers of this old and honourable republic, ripelyand well to consider all their proceedings over a proper allowance ofliquor; and far be it from me to propose the breach of so laudable acustom, or to pretend that such an affair as the present can be well andconstitutionally considered during the discussion of a pitiful gallonof Rhenish. But, as it is the same thing to this honourable conclavewhether they drink first and determine afterwards, or whether theydetermine first and drink afterwards, I propose your grace, with theadvice of your wise and potent senators, shall pass your edict, grantingto mine honourable friend the immunities of the place, and assigninghim a lodging, according to your wise forms, to which he will presentlyretire, being somewhat spent with this day's action; whereupon I willpresently order you a rundlet of Rhenish, with a corresponding quantityof neats' tongues and pickled herrings, to make you all as glorious asGeorge-a-Green."
This overture was received with a general shout of applause, whichaltogether drowned the voice of the dissidents, if any there wereamongst the Alsatian senate who could have resisted a proposal sopopular. The words of, kind heart! noble gentleman! generous gallant!flew from mouth to mouth; the inscription of the petitioner's name inthe great book was hastily completed, and the oath administered to himby the worthy Doge. Like the Laws of the Twelve Tables, of the ancientCambro-Britons, and other primitive nations, it was couched in poetry,and ran as follows:--
"By spigot and barrel, By bilboe and buff; Thou art sworn to the quarrel Of the blades of the huff. For Whitefriars and its claims To be champion or martyr, And to fight for its dames Like a Knight of the Garter."
Nigel felt, and indeed exhibited, some disgust at this mummery; but,the Templar reminding him that he was too far advanced to draw back,he repeated the words, or rather assented as they were repeated by DukeHildebrod, who concluded the ceremony by allowing him the privilege ofsanctuary, in the following form of prescriptive doggerel:--
"From the touch of the tip, From the blight of the warrant, From the watchmen who skip On the Harman Beck's errand; From the bailiffs cramp speech, That makes man a thrall, I charm thee from each, And I charm thee from all. Thy freedom's complete As a Blade of the Huff, To be cheated and cheat, To be cuff'd and to cuff; To stride, swear, and swagger, To drink till you stagger, To stare and to stab, And to brandish your dagger In the cause of your drab; To walk wool-ward in winter, Drink brandy, and smoke, And go _fresco_ in summer For want of a cloak; To eke out your living By the wag of your elbow, By fulham and gourd, And by baring of bilboe; To live by your shifts, And to swear by your honour, Are the freedom and gifts Of which I am the donor."[Footnote: Of the cant words used in thisinauguratory oration, some are obvious in their meaning, others, asHarman Beck (constable), and the like, derive their source from thatancient piece of lexicography, the Slang Dictionary]
This homily being performed, a dispute arose concerning the specialresidence to be assigned the new brother of the Sanctuary; for, asthe Alsatians held it a maxim in their commonwealth, that ass's milkfattens, there was usually a competition among the inhabitants whichshould have the managing, as it was termed, of a new member of thesociety.
The Hector who had spoken so warmly and critically in Nigel's behalf,stood out now chivalrously in behalf of a certain Blowselinda, orBonstrops, who had, it seems, a room to hire, once the occasionalresidence of Slicing Dick of Paddington, who lately suffered at Tyburn,and whose untimely exit had been hitherto mourned by the damsel insolitary widowhood, after the fashion of the turtle-dove.
The captain's interest was, however, overruled, in behalf of the oldgentleman in the kersey hood, who was believed, even at his extreme age,to understand the plucking of a pigeon, as well, or better, than any manin Alsatia.
This venerable personage was an usurer of notoriety, called Trapbois,and had very lately done the state considerable service in advancing asubsidy necessary to secure a fresh importation of liquors to the Duke'scellars, the wine-merchant at the Vintry being scrupulous to deal withso great a man for any thing but ready money.
When, therefore, the old gentleman arose, and with much coughing,reminded the Duke that he had a poor apartment to let, the claims of allothers were set aside, and Nigel was assigned to Trapbois as his guest.
No sooner was this arrangement made, than Lord Glenvarloch expressed toLowestoffe his impatience to leave this discreditable assembly, and tookhis leave with a careless haste, which, but for the rundlet of Rhenishwine that entered just as he left the apartment, might have been takenin bad part. The young Templar accompanied his friend to the house ofthe old usurer, with the road to which he and some other youngstersabout the Temple were even but too well acquainted. On the way, heassured Lord Glenvarloch that he was going to the only clean house inWhitefriars; a property which it owed solely to the exertions of the oldman's only daughter, an elderly damsel, ugly enough to frighten sin, yetlikely to be wealthy enough to tempt a puritan, so soon as the devil hadgot her old dad for his due. As Lowestoffe spoke thus, they knocked atthe door of the house, and the sour stern countenance of the female bywhom it was opened, fully confirmed all that the Templar had said ofthe hostess. She heard with an ungracious and discontented air the youngTemplar's information, that the gentleman, his companion, was to be herfather's lodger, muttered something about the trouble it was likelyto occasion, but ended by showing the stranger's apartment, which wasbetter than could have been augured from the general appearance of theplace, and much larger in extent than that which he occupied at Paul'sWharf, though inferior to it in neatness.
Lowestoffe, having thus seen his friend fairly installed in his newapartment, and having obtained for him a note of the rate at which hecould be accommodated with victuals from a neighbouring cook's shop, nowtook his leave, offering, at the same time, to send the whole, or anypart of Lord Glenvarloch's baggage, from his former place of residenceto his new lodging. Nigel mentioned so few articles, that the Templarcould not help observing, that his lordship, it would seem, did notintend to enjoy his new privileges long.
"They are too little suited to my habits and taste, that I should doso," replied Lord Glenvarloch.
"You may change your opinion to-morrow," said Lowestoffe; "and so I wishyou a good even. To-morrow I will visit you betimes."
The morning came, but instead of the Templar, it brought only a letterfrom him. The epistle stated, that Lowestoffe's visit to Alsatia haddrawn down the animadversions of some crabbed old pantaloons among thebenchers, and that he judged it wise not to come hither at present, forfear of attracting too much attention to Lord Glenvarloch's place ofresidence. He stated, that he had taken measures for the safety of hisbaggage, and would send him, by a safe hand, his money-casket, andwhat articles he wanted. Then followed some sage advices, dictated byLowestoffe's acquaintance with Alsatia and its manners. He advised himto keep the usurer in the most absolute uncertainty concerning the stateof his funds-never to throw a main with the captain, who was in thehabit of playing dry-fisted, and paying his losses with three vowels;and, finally, to beware of Duke Hildebrod, who was as sharp, he said,as a needle, though he had no more eyes than are possessed by thatnecessary implement of female industry.