Her skin hurt. Her back hurt. Her toenails hurt. God, everything hurt.
“It’s okay, Doc. I’m here now.”
At first she wondered if she’d dreamed Sebastian’s voice, but when she took a deep breath and inhaled his woody, masculine scent into her aching lungs, she knew this wasn’t a dream.
“You’re here,” she whispered.
The world dipped and rocked and spun, and then she found herself nestled against Sebastian’s muscular chest, his warmth seeping into her tired limbs.
“Sorry I was gone for so long,” he said roughly, his fingers stroking her hair with infinite tenderness. “I had to take care of some business.”
“S’okay. S’long as you’re here now.” She could hear his heart beating beneath her ear, a steady thump-thump that sent a wave of tranquility rippling through her. “Glad you’re here, Seb. Now we can say a proper g’bye.”
The hard muscles of his chest went even stiffer. “We’re not saying goodbye, Julia. You’re going to be okay.”
She didn’t answer. Might as well humor him. But really, who was he trying to kid? He wasn’t a doctor. She was. She knew exactly what was happening to her central nervous system at the moment. The virus was attacking it one cell at a time. Soon she’d be nothing but a motionless lump of dead, just like those mice in Frank’s cages.
Another giggle bubbled in the back of her throat, and soon she was shuddering with laughter because this was all so funny and—nope, she was seizing again. God, she was tired.
Those same shrill voices assaulted her eardrums again. Those same anvils crushed her body.
This time she decided to try and close her eyes. Maybe get some sleep. She succeeded in the closing-of-the-eyes part because everything went black, but when she heard Sebastian’s husky voice again, she realized that sleep was a bad, bad idea.
Because what if she never woke up?
“Sleep,” he urged.
“No,” she protested.
“It’ll take some time to kick in. You need to rest.”
“No.”
But she couldn’t keep her eyelids open anymore. They were too damn heavy.
“I’ll be here when you wake up.”
I won’t wake up.
She knew it with a certainty that went bone-deep. If she went to sleep right now, she would never wake up.
Which was probably why she couldn’t stop her next words from floating out.
“Love you, Sebastian.”
Everything went quiet. She couldn’t hear him anymore. She couldn’t see him anymore either. Had he left? She didn’t have the energy to open her eyes to check.
But she could have sworn that right before she drifted into a state of unconsciousness, she heard him say, “I love you, too, Julia.”
* * *
Sebastian found himself in a relentless cycle of pure torment over the next three hours. He’d been sitting at Julia’s bedside ever since the doctor had injected the antidote into Julia’s vein, feeling like he was riding a roller-coaster ride that never seemed to end. Up and down. Up and down. Julia’s fever rose, then fell. Her blood pressure soared, then plummeted. Up and down. Up and down. Making it impossible to know if the antidote was doing a goddamn thing.
They’d administered the exact amount Stephen Langley had said to administer, but was it working? It had to be, Sebastian assured himself. It had to be working because the nosebleeds and seizures had stopped. Or at least that was what he kept telling himself. Considering that three hours had passed and Julia still hadn’t regained consciousness, he had no idea what to think anymore.
He lifted his head when he heard a soft rap on the door.
“How is she?” Brent asked, stepping into Julia’s private hospital room.
“Unconscious.” He raked both hands through his hair. “The doctors think she’s stabilizing, that the antidote worked, but I don’t know. I’d feel better about her prognosis if she’d just wake up.”
“Her body probably needs to regroup. I’m sure she’ll come to soon.”
“I guess.” He swallowed. “Thank you for getting the antidote here so fast. I’m sorry I ever doubted you.”
“I understand why you did.” Brent shook his head in anger. “I can’t believe I cheerfully handed you a bottle contaminated with that damn virus.”
“You didn’t know.” And he truly believed that. He’d known Brent his entire life, and now that he wasn’t operating on fear and panic, he realized that Brent would have nothing to gain from killing Sebastian. And no doubt about it, Sebastian had been the target.
Clearly someone still wanted him dead.
“Any leads on Paul?” he asked, absently stroking Julia’s palm.
“None. He’s disappeared and no one can get in touch with him. We put out an APB, placed men at his apartment, but somehow I doubt I’ll ever see my trusty aide again.”
“I don’t imagine you will,” Sebastian agreed wryly. “He probably took off right after he gave you that bottle. He had to know it would eventually be traced back to him.”
“Speaking of that bottle, we found it in the trash can where Julia tossed it,” Brent said, looking relieved. “The CDC should have received it by now. And we sent them a sample of the antidote, too. So if for some unforeseen reason Meridian gets released again, we’ll be able to administer the vaccine before the virus kills any more people.”
“If the vaccine even works,” Sebastian murmured.
As his gaze drifted to the unconscious woman on the bed, he nearly broke down and wept. Julia had an IV in her arm and was hooked up to a heart monitor, her body so small and fragile beneath that blue hospital gown. These past three hours, he’d memorized every square inch of her face, down to the last freckle, and now he needed her to open her eyes so he could complete the mental picture he planned on taking with him when he left.
He squeezed her hand again before glancing at Brent. “Your aide’s involvement proves that someone in our government authorized the development of Meridian. That same someone was able to get a sample of the virus into Waverly’s hands, and that same someone probably whisked Waverly away to some beach in South America.”
“And that same someone still wants you dead,” Brent finished with a sigh. “So I suppose once Dr. Davenport recovers, you still plan on leaving the country?”
“If she recovers,” he mumbled.
“If?” came Julia’s outraged voice.
Sebastian nearly fell off the chair. His heartbeat took off in a gallop when he saw Julia’s hazel eyes focused on his face, her expression a combination of fatigue and indignation.
“You’re awake,” he blurted out. Happiness shot through him, followed by a jolt of pain so strong his stomach clenched.
“And Nick was right—you’re so damn pessimistic,” she shot back. “You really thought I was going to die, didn’t you?”
“You thought the same thing,” he said defensively. “You even said goodbye.”
“I was clearly under the influence of the Meridian virus,” she huffed. “I’m usually far more optimistic.”
Groaning, she tried to sit up, and Sebastian was instantly at her side, helping her move into an upright position.
In the doorway, Brent looked like he was fighting a laugh. “Good to see you looking well, Dr. Davenport. I guess I’ll say my goodbyes now, in case I don’t see you before you and Stone take off.” He paused. “You need me to arrange air transport for you?”
“Nah, we’ll find our own way,” Sebastian said vaguely.
“I have no doubt.” Brent moved to the door. “Good luck, you two.”
After Brent left, Sebastian focused all his attention on Julia, whose cheeks were regaining some color. “How are you feeling?” he asked gruffly.
“Surprisingly good. I take it you miraculously got your hands on an antidote?”
He nodded. “Langley stole a vial from D&M at the same time he stole the virus. I paid him a visit and got him to reveal where he stashed it.”
 
; Julia’s lips twitched with humor. “And how did you manage that?”
“I’m very persuasive,” he said with a shrug.
When she reached out to touch his cheek, he flinched despite himself, bringing a startled look to her eyes. “What’s wrong?” she demanded.
“Nothing’s wrong.” He kept his tone light. “You’re alive. That means everything is right.”
A wrinkle appeared in her forehead. “Okay.”
“I should go tell your doctors that you’re awake.”
He started to stand up, but Julia latched her hand on his arm and forced him to stay put. “Not yet. First tell me what I missed when I was unconscious.”
“Not much.” He filled her in on Paul Waverly’s disappearance, then hesitated. Wanting to say more but unsure how to proceed.
Julia, of course, immediately narrowed her eyes and said, “What the hell is going on, Sebastian?”
He met her eyes. “I’m leaving.”
“Leaving,” she echoed.
He nodded.
Wariness washed over her face, which was beginning to look ashen again. “Leaving me?”
Ignoring the agony clutching his heart like a vise, he managed another nod.
Her lips tightened. “I see. And why is that?”
“You know why,” he said hoarsely.
“Do I?”
His cheeks hollowed in frustration. “You know exactly what I’m talking about, Julia. That water was meant for me. You almost died because of me.”
“But I didn’t die,” she said smugly. “I lived. And yet again, I lived because of you. You got the antidote here in time.”
Anguish clamped around his throat, nearly suffocating him. Christ, she didn’t get it. Why didn’t she get it?
“I gave you that water,” he said softly. “If you’d died, it would’ve been my fault.” His eyes began to sting. “I told you, the people I love are destined to die.”
Julia stared at him with wide eyes, though he couldn’t figure out whether she was shocked or hurt or angry. Or all three.
Probably all three.
But he couldn’t allow himself to back down. He couldn’t take any more risks with this woman’s life.
“You’re better off without me.” Regret burned a path up his chest. “The best thing I could do for you is let you go.”
She still didn’t utter a word.
Sebastian used her silence as an opportunity to move closer. To brush his lips over her cheek in the sweetest of kisses.
“I’ll stick around long enough to help you figure out where you want to go, but once you do, we’ll go our separate ways. It’s for the—”
Julia slapped him.
As his head snapped back from the surprisingly strong blow, Sebastian’s jaw dropped. A second later, righteous anger coursed through him. “What the hell, Doc?”
“You’re asking me that? Are you frickin’ kidding me, Sebastian?”
He blinked a few times, then reached up to rub away the sting on his cheek.
“You just moved heaven and earth to save my life, and now you’re abandoning me?” she went on, her voice dripping with outrage. “Well, you know what? I’m not letting you go that easily, you big dumb jerk!”
Sebastian opened his mouth but no words came out. Maybe that slap had rendered his vocal cords useless or something. Either way, all he could do was sit there and gape as Julia gave him a tongue-lashing that even his own mother would have felt guilty delivering.
“You’re my perfect match, Sebastian, do you not get that? You treat me like an equal, you respect my career, you understand what drives me to work abroad. You excite me mentally and sexually and emotionally, and I’m not afraid to lose control around you! And if you really think I’m going to let you walk away from us, you’re frickin’ nuts.”
An unwitting smile tugged at his mouth.
“And you know what? Your fears are completely unfounded. It wasn’t your fault Brent’s aide tried to kill you, and it certainly wasn’t your fault that you lost your brother and your best friend and your girlfriend. Bad things happen sometimes. It’s a fact of life. But good things happen, too, and this thing between us? It’s good. No, it’s more than good. It’s spectacular. So suck it up, Sebastian—you’re not getting rid of me. I’m not going anywhere.”
Her speech came to a breathless end, her chest rising and falling from each hurried breath. As he looked at her flushed face, he was reminded of all the reasons he loved this woman. Her fearlessness, her take-charge attitude, the way she refused to take crap from anyone, especially him. And when a gleam of stubborn determination lit her hazel eyes, he realized that there was no way in hell he could ever walk away from this woman. If he was her perfect match, then she was his. Her courage floored him. Her strength soothed him.
And her love? Her love had healed him.
“Wow,” he finally remarked. “I really messed up, huh?”
She raised her eyebrows. “By thinking the right thing to do was leave? Uh, yeah.”
“I’m sorry. I guess I just panicked.”
Genuine remorse trickled through him, and Julia must have seen it on his face because she slid closer and looped her arms around his neck. The IV dangling from her left arm caught on his shoulder, and he gently moved it out of the way.
“I know you’re scared,” she said. “I am, too. Ever since I lost Mia and my dad, I’ve been focused on helping other people, but I don’t usually help myself. I barely remember to feed myself half the time.”
“I’ve noticed.”
“So, yeah, it’ll be hard for me to have a partner, but I’m willing to make this work.” She leaned in and brushed a sweet kiss on his mouth. “And you have to be willing to let go of your fears and give us a chance. Can you do that?”
He gazed into her eyes, which were brimming with confidence, warmth and encouragement, and it was like a wake-up call. Christ, why was he even hesitating?
He’d succumbed to a moment of weakness, but he didn’t feel weak anymore. He felt strong. As strong as the woman sitting in this hospital bed.
“I can do that,” he said roughly.
She beamed. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He touched her cheek, sweeping his thumb over her bottom lip. “I love you, Doc.”
“And you’re going to stay?”
“Right here by your side,” he vowed.
“Forever?”
“For as long as you’ll have me.”
Julia’s eyes twinkled. “Forever it is.”
Epilogue
“Sebastian and the doctor are catching a flight with Ricardo.” Tate strode onto the back patio of the beach house, where he found Nick standing by the rail, gazing out at the peaceful ocean.
Nick glanced over his shoulder. “When?”
“They’re landing early tomorrow morning.”
“I’ll pick them up,” the young lieutenant said with a nod.
Tate nodded back. “Thanks. I’d go, but you know I don’t like leaving Eva and Rafe here alone.”
“You know they’re not alone if I’m with them, right?” Humor rang from Nick’s voice.
With a sheepish shrug, Tate approached the railing. “Fine. I guess I should say, I don’t like leaving Eva and Rafe. Period.”
And who would’ve ever seen that coming. Captain Robert Tate, the man who’d once had nothing left to live for, now head over heels in love and the father figure of a three-year-old. It only went to show how your circumstances could change in the blink of an eye. Tate suspected Stone’s circumstances had evolved, too, if Sebastian’s reverent tone when referring to Julia Davenport was any indication.
“You know what I don’t get?” Nick spoke up, sounding troubled. “Why did that DoD aide try to kill Seb? News of the virus had gone public by then. And that’s why we had targets painted on our backs, no? Because they didn’t want our unit to figure out that the villagers’ deaths in Corazón were because of a virus and not the rebels, right?”
“Right.”
r /> “So whoever authorized Project Aries didn’t want anyone to know about it. But now everyone knows about it,” Nick pointed out. “Yet someone deliberately slipped Seb the virus after the news broke. Why? It couldn’t have been about shutting him up—he’s no longer a threat in terms of going public about the virus, because the news is already out.”
Tate rested his elbows on the wooden ledge and focused on the waves lapping against the shore, mulling over everything Nick had just said.
“You’re wrong,” he realized. “Sebastian still is a threat. We all are. See, all these people who now know about the virus—they just found out. They haven’t been hunted down, haven’t been forced into hiding. They’ll act horrified and rave about the injustice of it, vow to find out who was calling the shots about the testing of Meridian, but in the end, they’ll run out of steam and quit looking for answers.”
“But we won’t,” Nick said slowly.
“Not a chance. And I think the man in charge knows that we won’t stop searching for the truth.” Tate set his jaw. “I don’t know about you, but I plan on finding the bastard who green-lighted the tests, the bastard who thought it was a good idea to treat those villagers like lab rats, the bastard who ordered someone to blow my brains out when I walked out my front door.”
“Oh, trust me, I’m also looking forward to meeting the bastard in question.”
“And he knows that. He knows we’re after revenge, and the only way for him to keep his identity hidden is by getting rid of us before we find him.” A deadly smile stretched across Tate’s mouth. “Damn shame for him that he won’t succeed.”
“You saying what I think you’re saying, Captain?”
“Damn right I am. We’re going hunting, Nicky.”
Nick broke out in a grin. “Can’t. Frickin’. Wait.”
* * * * *
Keep reading for an excerpt from Cowboy with a Cause by Carla Cassidy.
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