Page 35 of Chapterhouse: Dune


  He remembers his own re-awakening pains.

  "Don't reveal compassion," he muttered. "Turn it back on him. Keep him focused inward. You want his anger."

  Those were words from his own practique.

  Abruptly, he said: "This may be the stupidest thing I ever suggested. I should go and be with Murbella."

  "You're in good company, Duncan. And there's nothing you can do for Murbella right now. Look!" As Teg leaped off the mat and stared up at the ceiling comeyes.

  "Isn't someone coming to help me?" Teg demanded. More desperation in his voice than predicted for this stage. "Where's Duncan Idaho?"

  Odrade put a hand on Idaho's arm as he hitched forward. "Stay where you are, Duncan. You can't help him, either. Not yet."

  "Isn't someone going to tell me what to do?" The young voice had a lonely, piping sound. "What're you going to do?"

  Sheeana's cue and she entered the room through a hidden hatch behind Teg. "Here I am." She wore only a gossamer robe of pale blue, almost transparent. It clung to her as she strode around to face the boy.

  He gawked. This was a Reverend Mother? He had never seen one robed that way. "You're going to give me back my memories?" Doubt and desperation.

  "I will help you give them back to yourself." As she spoke, she slipped out of the robe and tossed it aside. It floated to the floor like a great blue butterfly.

  Teg stared at her. "What're you doing?"

  "What do you think I'm doing?" She sat down beside him and put a hand on his penis.

  His head tipped forward as though pushed from behind and he stared at her hand as an erection formed in it.

  "Why're you doing that?"

  "Don't you know?"

  "No!"

  "The Bashar would know."

  He looked up at her face so close to his. "You know! Why won't you tell me?"

  "I'm not your memory!"

  "Why're you humming like that?"

  She put her lips against his neck. The humming was clear to the watchers. Murbella called it an intensifier, feedback keyed to the sexual response. It grew louder.

  "What're you doing?" Almost a shriek as she sat him astraddle of her. She swayed, massaging the small of his back.

  "Answer me, damn you!" A definite shriek.

  Where did that "damn you!" come from? Odrade wondered.

  Sheeana slipped him into her. "Here's your answer!"

  His mouth formed a soundless "Ohhhhhhhhh."

  The watchers saw her concentration on Teg's eyes but Sheeana watched him with other senses as well.

  "Feel the tensing of his thighs, the telltale vagus pulse and especially note the darkening of his nipples. When you have him at that point, sustain it until his pupils dilate. "

  "Imprinter!" Teg's scream made the watchers jump.

  He beat his fists against Sheeana's shoulders. All of them at the seewall observed an inner flickering of his eyes as he twisted back and forth, something new peering out of him.

  Odrade was on her feet. "Has something gone wrong?"

  Idaho remained in his chair. "What I predicted."

  Sheeana thrust Teg away to escape his clawing fingers.

  He sprawled to the floor and whirled with a speed that shocked the watchers. Sheeana and Teg confronted each other for several long heartbeats. Slowly, he straightened and only then did he look down at himself. Presently, he lifted his attention to his left arm held in front of him. His gaze went to the ceiling, to each wall in turn. Again, he looked at his body.

  "What in the nether hell ..." Still childish piping but oddly matured.

  "Welcome, ghola-Bashar," Sheeana said.

  "You were trying to imprint me!" Angry accusation. "You think my mother didn't teach me how to prevent that?" A distant expression came over his face. "Ghola?"

  "Some prefer to think of you as a clone."

  "Who're ... Sheeana!" He whirled, looking all around the room. It had been selected for its concealed access, no visible hatches. "Where are we?"

  "In the no-ship you took to Dune just before you were killed there." Still according to the rules.

  "Killed ..." Again, he looked at his hands. Watchers could almost see ghola-imposed filters drop from his memories. "I was killed... on Dune?" Almost plaintive.

  "Heroic to the end," Sheeana said.

  "My ... the men I took from Gammu ... were they ..."

  "Honored Matres made an example of Dune. It's a lifeless ball, charred to cinders."

  Anger touched his features. He sat and crossed his legs, placing a clenched fist on each knee. "Yes ... I learned that in the history of the... of me." Again, he glanced at Sheeana. She remained seated on the mat, quite still. This was such a plunge into memories as only one who had been through the Agony could appreciate. Utter stillness was required now.

  Odrade whispered: "Don't interfere, Sheeana. Let it happen. Let him work it out." She made a hand-signal to the three Proctors. They went to the access hatch, watching her instead of the secret room.

  "I find it odd to consider myself a subject of history," Teg said. The child's voice but that recurring sense of maturity in it. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply.

  In the observation room, Odrade sank back into her chair and asked: "What did you see, Duncan?"

  "When Sheeana pushed him away from her, he turned with a swiftness I have never seen except in Murbella."

  "Faster even than that."

  "Perhaps ... it's because his body is young and we have given him prana-bindu training."

  "Something else. You alerted us, Duncan. An unknown in Atreides marker cells." She glanced at the watchful Proctors and shook her head. No. Not yet. "Damn that mother of his! Hypno-induction to block an Imprinter and she hid it from us."

  "But look what she gave us," Idaho said. "A more effective way to restore memories."

  "We should have seen that on our own!" Odrade felt anger at herself. "Scytale claims Tleilaxu used pain and confrontation. I wonder."

  "Ask him."

  "It's not that simple. Our Truthsayers are not certain of him."

  "He is opaque."

  "When have you studied him?"

  "Dar! I have access to comeye records."

  "I know, but ..."

  "Dammit! Will you keep your eyes on Teg? Look at him! What's happening?"

  Odrade snapped her attention to the seated child.

  Teg looked at the comeyes, an expression of terrible intensity on his face.

  It had been for him like awakening from sleep in the stress of conflict, an aide's hand shaking him. Something needed his attention! He recalled sitting in the no-ship's command center, Dar standing beside him with a hand on his neck. Scratching him? Something urgent to do. What? His body felt wrong. Gammu ... and now they were on Dune and ... He remembered different things: childhood on Chapterhouse? Dar as ... as ... More memories meshed. They tried to imprint me!

  Awareness flowed around this thought like a river spreading itself for a rock.

  "Dar! Are you there? You're there!"

  Odrade sat back and put a hand to her chin. What now?

  "Mother!" What an accusatory tone!

  Odrade touched a transplate beside her chair. "Hello, Miles. Shall we go for a walk in the orchards?"

  "No more games, Dar. I know why you need me. I warn you, though: Violence projects the wrong kinds of people into power. As if you didn't know!"

  "Still loyal to the Sisterhood, Miles, in spite of what we just tried?"

  He glanced at the watchful Sheeana. "Still your obedient dog."

  Odrade shot an accusatory look at the smiling Idaho. "You and your damned stories!"

  "All right, Miles--no more games but I have to know about Gammu. They say you moved faster than the eye could follow."

  "True." Flat, what-the-hell tone.

  "And just now ..."

  "This body's too small to carry the load."

  "But you ..."

  "I used it up in just one burst and I'm starving."

&
nbsp; Odrade glanced at Idaho. He nodded. Truth.

  She motioned the Proctors back from the hatch. They hesitated before obeying. What had Bell told them?

  Teg was not through. "Do I have it right, daughter? Since every individual is accountable ultimately to the self, formation of that self demands the utmost care and attention?"

  That damned mother of his taught him everything!

  "I apologize, Miles. We did not know how your mother prepared you."

  "Whose idea was it?" He looked at Sheeana as he spoke.

  "My idea, Miles," Idaho said.

  "Oh, you're there, too?" More memory trickled back.

  "And I recall the pain you caused me when you restored my memories," Idaho said.

  That sobered him. "Point taken, Duncan. No apology needed." He looked at the speakers relaying their voices. "How's the air at the top, Dar? Rarefied enough for you?"

  Damned silly idea! she thought. And he knows it. Not rarefied at all. The air was thick with the breathing of those around her, including ones wanting to share her dramatic presence, ones with ideas (sometimes the idea they would be better at her job), ones with offering hands and demanding hands. Rarefied, indeed! She sensed that Teg was trying to tell her something. What?

  "Sometimes I must be the autocrat!"

  She heard herself saying this to him during one of their orchard walks, explaining "autocrat" to him and adding: "I have the power and must use it. That drags on me terribly."

  You have the power, so use it! That was what this Mentat Bashar was telling her. Kill me or release me, Dar.

  Still, she stalled for time and knew he would sense it. "Miles, Burzmali's dead, but he kept a reserve force here he trained himself. The best of--"

  "Don't bother me with petty details!" What a voice of command! Thin and reedy but all other essentials there.

  Without being told, the Proctors returned to the hatch. Odrade waved them away with an angry gesture. Only then did she realize that she had reached a decision.

  "Give him back his clothes and bring him out," she said. "Get Streggi in here."

  Teg's first words on emerging alarmed Odrade and made her wonder if she had made a mistake.

  "What if I will not do battle the way you want?"

  "But you said ..."

  "I've said many things in my ... lives. Battle doesn't reinforce moral sense, Dar."

  She (and Taraza) had heard the Bashar on that subject more than once. "Warfare leaves a residue of 'eat drink and be merry' that often leads inexorably to moral breakdown."

  Correct but she did not know what he had in mind with his reminder. "For every veteran who returns with a new sense of destiny ('I survived; that must be God's purpose') more come home with barely submerged bitterness, ready to take 'the easy way' because they saw so much of it in the stresses of war."

  They were Teg's words but her belief.

  Streggi hurried into the room but before she could speak, Odrade motioned her to stand aside and wait silently.

  For once, the acolyte had the courage to disobey Mother Superior.

  "Duncan should know he has another daughter. Mother and child live and are healthy." She looked at Teg. "Hello, Miles." Only then did Streggi remove herself to the rear wall and stand quietly.

  She is better than I hoped, Odrade thought.

  Idaho relaxed into his chair, feeling now the tensions of worry that had interfered with his appreciation of what he had observed here.

  Teg nodded to Streggi but spoke to Odrade: "Any more words to whisper in God's ear?" It was essential to control their attention and count on Odrade recognizing it. "If not, I'm really famished."

  Odrade raised a finger to signal Streggi and heard the acolyte leave.

  She sensed where Teg was directing her attention and, sure enough, he said: "Perhaps you've really created a scar this time."

  A barb directed at the Sisterhood's boast that "We don't let scars accumulate on our pasts. Scars often conceal more than they reveal."

  "Some scars reveal more than they conceal," he said. He looked at Idaho. "Right, Duncan?" One Mentat to another.

  "I believe I've come in on an old argument," Idaho said.

  Teg looked at Odrade. "See, daughter? A Mentat knows old argument when he hears it. You pride yourselves on knowing what's required of you at every turn, but the monster at this turning is one of your own making!"

  "Mother Superior!" That was a Proctor who did not want her addressed thus.

  Odrade ignored her. She felt chagrin, harsh and compelling. Taraza Within remembered the dispute: "We are shaped by Bene Gesserit associations. In peculiar ways, they blunt us. Oh, we cut swift and deep when we must, but that's another kind of blunting. "

  "I'll not take part in blunting you," Teg said. So he remembered.

  Streggi returned with a bowl of stew, brown broth with meat floating in it. Teg sat on the floor and spooned it into his mouth with urgent motions.

  Odrade remained silent, her thoughts moving where Teg had sent them. There was a hard shell Reverend Mothers put around themselves against which all things from outside (including emotions) played like projections. Murbella was right and the Sisterhood had to relearn emotions. If they were only observers, they were doomed.

  She addressed Teg. "You won't be asked to blunt us."

  Both Teg and Idaho heard something else in her voice. Teg put aside his empty bowl but Idaho was first to speak. "Cultivated," he said.

  Teg agreed. Sisters were seldom impulsive. You got ordered reactions from them even in times of peril. They went beyond what most people thought of as cultivated. They were driven not so much by dreams of power as by their own long view, a thing compounded by immediacy and almost unlimited memory. So Odrade was following a carefully thought out plan. Teg glanced at the watchful Proctors.

  "You were prepared to kill me," he said.

  No one answered. There was no need. They all recognized Mentat Projection.

  Teg turned and looked back into the room where he had regained his memories. Sheeana was gone. More memories whispered at the edge of awareness. They would speak in their own time. This diminutive body. That was difficult. And Streggi ... He focused on Odrade. "You were more clever than you thought. But my mother ..."

  "I don't think she anticipated this," Odrade said.

  "No ... she was not that much Atreides."

  An electrifying word in these circumstances, it charged a special silence in the room. The Proctors moved closer.

  That mother of his!

  Teg ignored the hovering Proctors. "In answer to the questions you have not asked, I cannot explain what happened to me on Gammu. My physical and mental speed defies explanation. Given the size and energy, in one of your heartbeats I could be clear of this room and well or my way out of the ship. Ohhh ..." hand upraised. "I'm still your obedient dog. I'll do what you require, but perhaps not in the way you imagine."

  Odrade saw consternation in the faces of her Sisters. What have I loosed upon us?

  "We can prevent any living thing from leaving this ship," she said. "You may be fast but I doubt you are faster than the fire that would engulf you should you try to leave without our permission."

  "I will leave in my own good time and with your permission. How many of Burzmali's special troops do you have?"

  "Almost two million." Startled out of her.

  "So many!"

  "He had more than twice that number with him at Lampadas when Honored Matres obliterated them."

  "We shall have to be more clever than poor Burzmali. Would you leave me to discuss this with Duncan? That is why you keep us around, isn't it? Our specialty?" He aimed a smiling look at the overhead comeyes. "I'm sure you'll review our discussion thoroughly before approving."

  Odrade and her Sisters exchanged glances. They shared an unspoken question: What else can we do?

  As she stood, Odrade looked at Idaho. "Here's a real job for a Truthsayer-Mentat!"

  When the women were gone, Teg pulled hims
elf up onto one of the chairs and looked into the empty room visible beyond the seewall. It had been close there and he still felt his heart pumping hard from the effort. "Quite a show," he said.

  "I've seen better." Extremely dry.

  "What I'd like right now is a large glass of Marinete, but I doubt this body could take it. "

  "Bell will be waiting for Dar when she gets back to Central," Idaho said.

  "To the nethermost hell with Bell! We have to defuse those Honored Matres before they find us."

  "And our Bashar has just the plan."

  "Damn that title!"

  Idaho inhaled a sharp breath restricted by shock.