The white horns came up through the earth first, followed by claws that landed on the part of the freeway that hadn’t been destroyed yet.
From the depths of the World Tree that thing emerged. And it just kept coming.
Jace pulled away from Ski, her eyes instantly going back to their beautiful blue color as realization dawned and Jace said what they were all thinking . . .
“That crazy bitch brought Nidhogg here?”
* * *
The twin Crows continued to fight, neither seemingly able to kill the other. So fascinated by it all, Gullveig barely noticed that pinprick against her chest. She looked down and saw the tiny little knife sticking out of her skin. It didn’t even get past her breastbone.
Laughing, she spotted the Crow hovering in front of her. “What the fuck is this, slave?” She pointed at the tiny weapon.
“Is this supposed to destroy me? Is that what you got me out here for?”
The Crow ignored her and called out, “Inka!”
A Holde’s Maid chanted a spell from a spot beneath the Four Horsemen—Wait. When did they get here? Tacky Christians. When I rule, I think I will destroy them first—and the tiny weapon exploded into a sword made for giants. When flames erupted from the blade, she knew it was probably Surtr’s sword.
“So that was your plan?” she asked the redheaded Crow. “To use Surtr’s sword to destroy me? Bitch, you don’t have the power for that.”
The Crow grinned. “Oh, I know.”
Spinning away from her, the Crow threw her arms out wide and screamed out, “What are you going to do about it, pussy? What are you going to do?”
Gullveig had no idea who the woman was yelling at. “Poor thing. You’ve snapped, haven’t you? I don’t know who you’re talking to, slave. I’m over here.”
The Crow faced her again and placed her tiny human hands on the hilt of a sword meant for a giant. Not even a giant but the ultimate giant. Surtr, himself.
Did she really think she had a chance in Helheim of—
“You treacherous little whore.”
That voice. That wasn’t the voice of a human. Gullveig lifted her gaze and rage ripped through her. Nidhogg. That little bitch had brought Nidhogg. To challenge me?
The little twat brought a dragon to a goddess fight? “You useless, stupid bitch,” Gullveig mocked.
“Yeah, yeah,” the redhead replied, her hands still on the weapon. “And you’re a motherfucker!”
Gullveig would be insulted by that but to be quite truthful, she didn’t know who the little bitch was talking to.
* * *
“What the hell is Erin doing?” Vig asked. Now standing off the damaged freeway, he waited by his sister, a large group of Giant Killers, his Raven brothers, and a few Crows.
“Doing what she does best,” Betty answered. “Acting like a complete and utter dick.”
Kat pulled off her winged helmet and scratched her head. “What kind of plan is that?”
“The only one she has left,” Stieg softly replied.
* * *
Kera grabbed Jace before she could fly to Erin’s side, wanting to protect her like she always had before.
“Kera, she can’t!”
“We have no choice, sweetie,” Chloe explained because Kera couldn’t. She could barely manage to hold onto Jace. “Erin has no choice.”
* * *
Erin closed her eyes and waited. She waited for flames to engulf her; destroy her.
But she was ready. She was ready to die . . .
She just didn’t think she’d have to wait this long.
Erin opened one eye, trying to peek, and Nidhogg’s enormous head was very close. Disturbingly so. But he was just staring at her. He wasn’t doing anything.
“Well?” she pushed.
The dragon chuckled and leaned back, half his dragon body buried in the hole he’d come from.
“Sooo . . . you want me to clean up your mess for you. Is that it? That’s why you lured me up here? To help you and these genetic failures called humans?” He shook his head. “No. No way. You’re on your own.”
“You’re scared, aren’t you?” Erin asked. “You’re frightened.”
The dragon winced, his scaled face way more animated than she’d actually thought would be possible. “Is that really the best you can come up with?” he asked, sounding a little sad. “I mean . . . seriously?”
“Look,” Erin snipped back, kind of fed up, “I’ve got this borderline migraine that’s not going away; this smell from your shitty, corpse-filled home is filling my entire nasal cavity and the back of my throat; I’m probably permanently scarred now from that fight with those goddamn elves and, let’s be honest, I’m much too pretty to have permanent scars. It’s like fucking up the Mona Lisa.”
The dragon moved back a bit, his maw briefly dropping open before he said, “You’re not serious.”
“Hey! This is a half-million-dollar face.”
“Only half-a-million?”
“If it were worth a million, I’d have my own TV show and a clothing line. Because that’s how awesome I am. I’m putting up with all you godlike, giant bitches because apparently no one else in this goddamn universe can possibly get rid of this little slit!”
Gullveig—the fiery sword still sticking out of her chest and apparently forgotten—pointed at herself. “Are you talking about me?”
“And none of that,” Nidhogg shot back, “is my problem. Fix this shit on your own.”
“You know what? I’d really like to do that. If I could, you giant lizard, I would! But according to dwarves who insist on calling me fatty—”
“Well . . .” Gullveig began.
“Shut up,” Erin snapped before turning back to Nidhogg. “I can’t. So yes, I came to you. I lured you up here. I did what I had to do, just so I could get this goddamn shit over with. If for no other reason than so I can go home, sit in the TV room, and watch really bad reality TV. Maybe eat enough mac and cheese until my thighs and ass are as big as yours. I am fed up. So, yeah, in answer to your fucking question, that’s the best I can do. Accuse you of being scared of this worthless little twat!”
“Well, listen up, little girl—” the dragon began
“Excuse me?” Gullveig cut in. “You’re fed up with me, slave? Really? Do you know who I am? Can you even conceive—”
* * *
“Does she know she still has that sword in her chest?” Kera asked Ski.
“I don’t think so. I think she’s too angry.”
“I am a goddess.” Gullveig continued ranting while Erin and Nidhogg stared at her. “I have seen things and lived and destroyed and created more than your tiny brains can ever hope to imagine. You think this dragon can destroy me? He’s a lizard. The lowest. Slithering around on the ground—”
“Actually snakes slither. Lizards have legs, so . . .” Nidhogg tossed in.
“But you’re not lizards, right?” Erin asked, appearing quite interested.
“No. Now it is true that we both have scales, but dragons are vastly different. To put it in terms humans might understand, you could say that what separates dragons from lizards is that dragons have opposable thumbs.”
“That’s not a thumb,” Erin said, pointing at his front claw.
“It’s like a thumb.”
“Not really.”
“Why are you arguing with me? I, mean, how many dragons do you know that you can just run around, arguing about them like you know my kind?”
“I’m just saying—”
“Yes, but you’re saying it wrong!”
“Fine,” Erin snapped back. “You have claw-thumbs. Happy now? Does knowing you have claw-thumbs make you happy?”
“You see, this is what I mean. You pick and you pick until you make me crazy. Is that what you want, human? To see me crazy?”
“I’ve already assumed you’re crazy because you live around a bunch of corpses like it’s normal.”
“I get hungry!”
“He
y!” Gullveig bellowed. “I am talking! Do you know who I am?”
“How many times is she going to ask that?” Kera wondered aloud.
“Too many times for that dragon,” Jace said, shaking her head. “This is not going to end well for her. Not at all.”
“I am,” Gullveig went on, “the most important thing in this universe. And I am going to destroy everything that you love or hold dear. I will make you watch while I tear and render and decimate—”
Kera watched as Gullveig ranted, lost in her threats and narcissistic rantings. It was like watching one of those on-set, behind-the-scene videos of an actor losing it on some unimportant camera assistant.
The difference, though, was that Gullveig wasn’t an overpaid actress with an Oscar under her belt, and Erin and Nidhogg did not work for her.
A realization that pair had already come to.
The left side of the dragon’s snout curled in disdain and he finally looked down at Erin, motioning to the sword Gullveig had not removed from her chest yet.
Erin placed one hand on the hilt of the sword. She was about to place the other, when Nidhogg held out one, long, black talon.
Gripping it, Erin noted, “I’m trying not to freak out at the fact that my entire hand can’t completely wrap around the tip of your talon.”
Now the dragon grinned, showing fangs that were the length of some Vikings Kera knew. Big ones.
The dragon threw back his shoulders and took in a breath that had trees swaying and Kera digging in her feet, feeling like she was about to be sucked into an air vent.
There was a pause . . . the only sound that any of them could hear was that of Gullveig . . . still ranting.
Nidhogg’s head jerked forward and flames so powerful and bright and hot burst out of him that everyone was forced to scramble farther away, hiding behind nearby pillars or buildings. Whatever was necessary.
When the flames stopped, Kera quickly stood and saw that . . .
Well, that nothing had changed.
Nidhogg still stood there with his claw out, Erin was still holding the tip, and Gullveig was still ranting with a sword through her chest.
“Wow,” Chloe said from beside Kera. “That bitch really can’t die.”
Erin finally opened her eyes and Kera watched the overwhelming disappointment spread across her face when she saw that Gullveig was not dead.
Knowing they were completely out of options, Kera prepared to call a retreat. They would need to get ready for Ragnarok. It was coming now.
On the other side of the freeway, Kera watched Death’s black horse rear up on its hind legs and horse and rider turned and trotted off. Death’s three brothers following.
“Guys . . .” Kera said, almost afraid to believe that—
In mid-rant, Gullveig looked down at Surtr’s sword. The blade was still covered in flames, but now the flames were spreading. From weapon to goddess.
She gripped the hilt and tried to pull the sword from her body, but it wouldn’t budge.
“No,” Gullveig said, panicking. “No!”
Nidhogg looked at all the Clans and offhandedly remarked, “If I were all of you . . . I’d probably run.”
* * *
As the flames began working their way through Gullveig’s body, her entire being started shaking, her screams vibrating everything for miles.
Erin flew back, trying to get away from her, still unable to stop staring.
A claw wrapped around her and she was pulled into Nidhogg’s chest as he turned away.
The very air around them exploded with heat and light and tornadolike winds. All Erin could do was burrow closer to Nidhogg and wait for it all to be over.
* * *
Something licked Stieg’s face and he had to say he was very happy to realize it was Brodie Hawaii. Because only a dog should lick his face like that.
When he sat up, he thought maybe he was in Valhalla, but then he saw a billboard for a shitty rom-com torn from its moorings and lying on the ground.
He was still alive.
“Erin.” Stieg jumped to his feet, unleashed his wings, and went up—
Nidhogg was standing over him, with Erin on his shoulder.
Ignoring the dragon, Stieg flew at Erin, grabbing her into his arms and holding her tight.
“Awww,” Nidhogg mocked as they kissed. “Young love.”
“Shut up,” Erin shot back. She dropped her head on Stieg’s shoulder and he felt her smile against the bare skin of his neck. “Just shut up.”
“Human,” Nidhogg said. “Next time you need my assistance. . . I suggest you ask rather than piss me off. I could have just as easily sucked your entrails out like noodles rather than help you. Understand?”
“But I’m so much better at pissing people off. It’s a gift. Like being double-jointed. Or being good at math.”
With a sound of disgust, he gestured them away with a flick of his claw. They unleashed their wings so that they hovered over him as the dragon backed up into the hole, one of his horns nearly shearing off the top of the Getty Museum. Stieg heard a collective gasp of panic from the Protectors and he rolled his eyes in disgust. That was their big concern? Losing a stupid museum?
Nidhogg slowly disappeared until, for a moment, all they could see of him were his nostrils. Then they too disappeared deep into the earth.
And that’s when the world began to move beneath them.
“Earthquake!” someone cried out.
“No!” Inka yelled. “The holding spell! It’s ending! Grab your dead, dying, and wounded! Retreat! Now!”
Stieg and Erin separated, each helping their own brethren remove themselves from the freeway. They had less than a minute to get themselves out of there before everything returned to the world as it had been.
* * *
Sadie Monroe sat at the red light in her boss’s black BMW and quickly realized something was . . . different.
“Sadie?” her boss demanded from the other end of the phone. “What is happening?”
Sadie shook her head. “Uh . . . I don’t know.” She leaned forward, trying to get a better look through the windshield. “That man must have jumped.” Although that didn’t sound quite right. “I mean the cops are just standing there looking down on the 405. And I think there was an earthquake. Oh, my God! There’s so much damage!”
“Good Lord! Get out of there, girl! Before the cops make you a witness or a building falls on you or something else ridiculous!”
“But—”
“If my cappucino’s not hot when you get here . . . there will be hell to pay. Understand me?”
“I’ll be right there.”
Sadie disconnected the call and, praying that the cops were too busy to notice, she blew off the red light and drove through the intersection, horns blaring at her, some people cursing.
“Sorry, sorry!” she yelped, cringing when a van almost clipped her.
“Stupid bitch!” someone yelled.
“You don’t understand!” she screamed back. “My boss needs her cappucino! Or the world will end!”
Honestly, these people had no idea what she went through on a daily basis.
* * *
They hadn’t moved in minutes, standing unseen near the Getty Museum. None of them able to do anything but stare. Finally, Odin turned to his brethren and said, “That crazy bitch brought Nidhogg up here.”
“You picked her,” Freyja sneered.
“I didn’t pick her. She picked her.”
Even though they couldn’t see it, they all knew Skuld grinned behind her Los Angeles Rams hoodie. “I did,” she admitted. “And I’m fabulous!”
“So who won the pot?” Thor asked.
“I don’t think we had a listing for crazy bitch brings Nidhogg,” Tyr noted.
Freyja looked down at the scroll. “No, we don’t.”
“I guess Skuld wins then,” Holde complained.
“No. She only said that Amsel would come back. She didn’t say she’d survive the bat
tle.”
“Damn,” Thor said to the Fate. “Talk about no loyalty.”
Skuld shrugged. “I have to admit . . . I underestimated my girl.”
“Holy shit,” Freyja announced, looking up from the scroll, “Idunn wins. She said she’d survive.”
They all turned to the goddess holding her basket of golden apples.
“What?” Idunn asked.
“You hate her,” Freyja reminded her.
“Yes. And I’ve wanted her dead. We all have. And yet the bitch still lives. How could she not survive?”
“Huh,” Odin said, shrugging. “She’s got a point.”
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
Erin didn’t know how long she’d been asleep. She was pretty sure it was days. It felt like days anyway.
It was the screams, though, that finally woke her up.
She scrambled up in her bed, ready to do battle to protect her sister-Crows . . .
But these weren’t her sister-Crows. They were goats. Like ten of them.
Erin looked around. This wasn’t her bedroom, either. The last thing she remembered was taking a shower because no one would come near her until she did. Even Jace who’d tried to hug her but just kept saying, “I . . . I can’t. I’m sorry, but . . . I can’t! You smell!”
So Erin had taken an unreasonably long shower, scrubbing like she’d never scrubbed before, and then lay down on her bed “for a little nap.” That was the last thing she remembered.
Until the goats.
She had no idea where she was but she had on shorts and a T-shirt so she felt comfortable leaving the bedroom—the goats trailing her—going down some stairs, and out into what she guessed was the backyard.
That’s where she found Stieg . . . feeding more goats.
She threw her arms wide. “What have you done?”
He pointed at Hilda, who was next to him. “You said she needed a herd.”
“You could have taken her to a goat farm.”
“But she’s my goat. Why should I give up my goat?”
“Okay, but you could have just gotten two more goats. They would have been a small herd but it would have probably done the same thing.”
He looked down at the goats waiting for food. “You didn’t tell me all that.”
“At the time I didn’t think it would matter, but I’m sure you can find other homes for them all.”