Luke led the way into the bedroom and then left the women alone.
“Come on over,” Christine called from the bed. Mother and baby were snuggled together since Christine had just fed her. “Sit here on the bed so you can get a closer look.”
“Oh, she’s lovely.”
“We think so.” Christine looked tired but very content. “Would you like to hold her?”
“Please,” Mandy said with a delighted smile.
Christine noticed she handled her like a mother of ten, supporting her back and head and keeping her well covered. She crooned softly into the tiny face, and Christine thought how sweet and giving she was. Luke rejoined Christine on the bed and spoke.
“We want to thank you for coming over last night; you were wonderful and I really needed you.”
“You’re welcome. I was glad to help. What did you name her?”
“Rachael, after Christine’s mother.”
“Rebecca was almost a Rachael. It’s such a pretty name.”
“Her full name is Rachael Amanda Cameron.”
Mandy’s head came up slowly on the emphasis of her name. She looked at Luke to see if he was serious, then to Christine whose smile was very watery.
“Am I the Amanda?” She whispered the words.
“We know no other.”
“Oh my,” she breathed the words and cuddled the sleeping infant even nearer. With almost a reverence she kissed the miniature forehead below the wisps of dark hair. Closing her eyes, she laid her cheek against the downy little head.
“It’s such an honor, I mean I didn’t do that much, that is, nothing that anyone wouldn’t have done in my—” She stopped when they laughed.
“Mandy obviously didn’t see you standing there like a man lost, Luke, or she wouldn’t say that.”
“I was a man lost. We had more time with Josh and Kate, and Maggie was there to get everything ready.”
As if the mention of Josh’s name could conjure him up, he appeared at the door, tears in his eyes.
“Can I come home now?”
“What’s happened, honey?” his mother asked. Josh glanced at Mandy and didn’t say anything.
“Was it Levi or Clovis?” Mandy asked with resignation.
“Levi,” the boy admitted.
“What did he do?”
“I don’t know. It’s like he’s mad at me and I don’t know what I did.”
“Lee is not very patient, not that that excuses him. You probably didn’t do anything. Think of poor Clovis, he gets it all the time.”
“Does your aunt or uncle know you left?” Luke asked.
“No.”
“Well, head back over and tell them I said you can come home. And if there is something you need to clear up with Levi, you’d best do it.”
“I have to go,” Mandy said. “I’ll make sure everything is okay.” She handed the baby to Luke’s outstretched hands and marveled at how small he made her seem. Their father had never been around when any of them were born. It was a new thing to see a man holding an infant with such tenderness.
“Thank you again. I’m more honored than I can say.”
“Thank you, Mandy. God knew you were just what we needed.”
God knew you were just what we needed. The words kept swarming around in Mandy’s head. She almost wished she and Silas had gone for that ride. Luke and Christine made it sound like God had sent her there. Well maybe He had. After all, He was the reason she couldn’t get to sleep. Questions repeatedly echoed in her mind over what Carrie had said before the party.
And then after the baby was born she felt such an awful ache inside of her. Having something happen to little Rachael would not have brought her mother back, nor would Mandy have chosen that, even if it would have. But it all seemed so unfair. Her mother was gone, never to return, leaving a terrible void in her world. And Luke and Christine—their life seemed so complete, as if God thought they were extra special and He couldn’t think of enough gifts to shower them with.
“Mandy, are you okay?”
“What did you say, Carrie?”
“I said are you okay? You’ve been real quiet since you came back from seeing the baby. You’re happy that she’s named after you, aren’t you?”
“Oh, I think it’s wonderful. I guess I’m a little tired.”
Leaving her to her thoughts, Carrie didn’t question her sister anymore. They continued to load the wagon for Grandma Em’s without further conversation.
30
“I would say we worked very hard. In fact I’m not sure I’ll have any energy left for tonight.”
“In that case we’ll get the lemonade.” Ross and Pete disappeared into the kitchen as Grandma Em sank down into one of the chairs in the backyard. It took her a moment to realize that Preston was staring at her from his place in another yard chair. She immediately interpreted the look.
“I was only kidding, Preston. I’m fine.”
“Are you?” He didn’t sound convinced.
“I’m tired, but I’m not going to collapse or anything quite so dramatic.”
“I want to see you taking it easy tonight.”
“Oh, you do, do you?” She was clearly amused but tried not to smile when she saw how serious he was.
“Yes, I do. And if you don’t, I just might have to have a talk with Luke or Mark about the way their grandmother overdoes when they’re not looking.”
“You wouldn’t dare!”
“Just try me, Emily.” He smiled then, tempted to tell her he liked the way she looked when she was a bit outraged. But even with as little as he knew about women, he was certain that would get him into all kinds of trouble.
She eyed him then to gauge just how serious he had been, and he returned her gaze, telling her with his smiling eyes that he would do just as he said. She couldn’t help but smile back at him, so charming was his grin.
The boys came back carrying the pitcher of lemonade and four glasses. With great ceremony they served their elders, and when everyone had quenched their thirst the boys began to bring some of the food from the kitchen to the tables they had set up earlier.
As the families began to arrive and saw the tables set up outside, everyone’s spirits soared. Silas and Amy’s wagon, filled with their own five plus Josh and Kate, looked as though it had enough children to fill the schoolhouse.
Mandy helped fill little hands with baskets full of food, making her one of the last to come away from the wagon. She had just begun to lift a basket full of pies when she heard Carrie say, “Hi Ross. Hi Pete.” At that same instant she realized the basket was too heavy for her. The last thing she wanted to do was behave like a helpless woman in front of Ross. She just hated it when girls acted like that; it was deceitful. So against her better judgment she lifted the basket.
The weight nearly staggered her, and she had just steadied herself when Ross stepped forward and took the basket from her.
“Whatever you do Amanda, don’t ask for help.” His voice was laced with annoyed sarcasm. Mandy felt rebuked and foolish. Ross walked away and Mandy felt her face flush with heat. She was sure Pete and Carrie had heard him. Pete relieved Carrie of her jug of cider, and they moved toward the house.
Mandy stood staring into the empty wagon bed without really seeing it. A shadow passed over her, drawing her attention up to an older, distinguished-looking man beside her.
“Is everything unloaded?” His voice was deep and pleasant and Mandy nodded yes.
“Well then, I’ll escort you to supper.” He held his arm out, but Mandy only stared at it. “How presumptuous of me; we haven’t been introduced. I’m Preston Culver and you are…?” He left the question hanging, knowing exactly what the response would be.
“Mandy Jackson.”
“May I please escort you to supper, Mandy?”
“Thank you,” she said with a grateful smile as she placed her hand in the crook of his arm. She did not see Ross or Pete watching them, but Preston gave them both a very pointed look
as they passed, clearly communicating that one of them should have escorted her.
Not needing to be told twice, Ross maneuvered himself carefully, and to Mandy’s chagrin, sat across from her at the table. The meal was half over before she even looked at him and then immediately away. Ross felt panicked. For the first time she was uncomfortable with him. He hadn’t meant to be so abrupt with her, and he was going to apologize—but something was different this time. He had hurt her. Something he hadn’t believed to be possible with the way she seemed to accept every harsh word or act that came into her world.
He determined to corner her after supper and even ask her to sit with him at the fireworks display. But she busied herself in the kitchen right after the meal, and Ross paced around outside in an effort to get near her.
“Ross, can you get the door for me?” It was Susanne holding a meat platter in each hand. Ross jumped at the chance.
Once inside, he saw that Mandy’s hands were not in the dish water or even drying the dishes. She was making trips to the dish cabinet in the dining room and putting dishes and hollowware away.
“I seem to keep repeating myself and at some point you’re not going to believe me, but I am sorry about the way I spoke to you, Amanda.”
Placing the dish on the shelf, Mandy looked up into Ross’ eyes as he stood next to the tall cabinet where he’d followed her. Mandy, as usual, truthfully revealed to Ross what she was thinking.
“I just hate it when women play games in order to get attention. I knew the basket was too heavy for me, but I figured you would think asking for help was an act. So I lifted it, even though I knew better.”
“I don’t know you very well, Amanda,” not as well as I’d like to, he thought, “but if there’s one thing I have learned since meeting you, it’s that there’s no pretense in you. If you had asked for help with the basket, I’d have known instantly that it was genuine desire for help and not a female ploy.”
“I’m glad you know that I’m honest. It’s important to me.”
“I wondered if you would sit with me tonight during the fireworks?”
“I’d like that, Ross, but the truth is I feel a little funny about your girlfriend. I mean, I didn’t think you meant anything permanent or anything,” she rushed to assure him. “But I just don’t think it’s fair to her.”
“Sarah and I have no plans for the future. She’s free to see whomever she wants and the same goes for me.”
“Oh.”
Again Ross was not ready to handle what he saw in her eyes. There was no way he was going to love this woman. She was not a Christian and no matter how sweet she was, or how much she needed protection, until she made a decision for Christ, and only God knew when that would be, Ross had to keep his distance.
“Excuse me, Amanda, I might be needed outside. I’ll let you get back to work.” Ross left, thinking that he’d made a mistake. He knew he was supposed to keep his distance, and yet he’d asked her to be with him for the rest of the evening. He honestly couldn’t figure out why God would ask him to get close to Amanda unless he was supposed to talk to her about the Lord. For some reason the thought had never occurred to him before. He decided then and there that he would do exactly that.
31
“Couldn’t this have waited?”
“What for?”
The wizened man shrugged. “I didn’t really care to come all the way from Reedsburg in the heat. And some of us take holidays off.”
“I never take days off. It’s not good for business. Besides, with everyone tied up with the celebrations, no one will notice you coming and going. Have you got what you need?”
“Of course. What’s the name?”
Aaron Marks held out an official document to display the name at the bottom.
“If you’ve got his name on a contract, what do you need me for?”
“Only a fool would sign the one you’re going to forge and Jackson is no fool. This old contract is for the job he’s on now. But this new one will be binding nonetheless and I’ll have what I want.”
“I don’t care to hear about the details. Have you got the money?”
A bag of coins hit the desk. The little man looked them over, put the bag in his pocket, and went to work.
The town had a great time at the fireworks display. The evening began with several children reciting poems or stories about the freedoms their nation enjoyed. After dark, the fireworks commenced. Some were shot into the air and others, attached to poles, lit up the ground in all their patriotic glory.
Ross and Mandy saw very little of it. Ross had wasted no time after the speeches to ask Mandy a little bit about herself. He quickly led the conversation around to eternity and was surprised to find out how knowledgeable she was.
“I know that Carrie has made a decision for Christ and I’m happy for her, but it’s as if God is hiding from me.”
“You mean, you feel like you’re searching and He won’t let you see Him?”
“Yes, that’s the way it feels. I’m learning a lot from Carrie and at church though, and there are things in the Bible that I didn’t know were there, but I almost feel as though the time isn’t right. I wonder if it will ever be.”
“Have you ever thought of asking God to help you believe, to help you know?”
“No, I’m not used to having anyone help me and it feels foreign. Maybe it’s pride but I’ve always figured I should do things myself—I have up till now.”
“And how about after this life? How will you help yourself in eternity?”
“I think I’ve been a good person, Ross, and that’s got to count for something.” She said the word almost desperately.
“Amanda, I can understand what a blow it is to find out that all the things you’ve done so far don’t count for eternity. The Bible says all our good works are like filthy rags. But look at it this way, if you can’t do anything to gain salvation, then you can’t do anything to lose it. I don’t know about you, but that’s a real comfort to me.
“If all that counted for eternity was the good I’ve done on this earth then I’d be terrified to die, wondering all the time if I had been good enough to get into heaven. I’ll take a sure thing anytime, and believe me, Amanda, salvation through Jesus Christ is a sure thing.”
Mandy was soaking in his every word. Ross answered her questions as best he could and quoted many verses to her. But when he asked her if she wanted to pray, she said she wasn’t ready.
“I won’t push you, Amanda, but the Bible also says that now is the day of salvation. Please know that I’ll be praying for you every day. If there’s anything I can do to help, just ask.”
When things broke up, Mandy thanked Ross for all the time he’d taken with her, and then went to check on her family. Silas, who had seen them talking, was given a brief chance to ask Ross how she was doing.
“She said she needs more time. I have to lean on the verse that says if we seek Him He will be found, because she is seeking and I’m praying she will find Him soon.”
“Thanks, Ross. Amy and I are praying, too, and I believe as you do that it’s only a matter of time before she comes to Christ.”
“Is it your woman’s time, Mandy?” Carrie asked her sister in exasperation. “You’re a grouch this morning.”
“I am not.” The words were empty and without conviction because Mandy knew Carrie was right. She’d had a terrible night and now this morning she was nearly impossible to live with.
“I think I’ll go for a walk.”
There was plenty of work to do—wet laundry waiting to be hung, pans of bread dough waiting their turn in the oven, and bedding to be aired and changed—but Amy said nothing. This was a girl fighting God. Amy knew from experience that fighting God was miserable and a losing battle. Maybe some time alone was exactly what Mandy needed.
“I would be terrified to die, wondering all the time if I’d been good enough to get into heaven.” Ross had said something like that to Mandy, and she couldn’t get the words ou
t of her head.
She had walked a ways from the house and barn and now lay on a grassy knoll with the sun in her face. She touched her warm cheeks and knew she should have grabbed her bonnet. Rolling over onto her stomach, Mandy watched her fingers as they played with the grass and weeds. All that Ross, Carrie, Amy, and Silas had said was running through her mind, and Mandy felt like she was choking with the need to understand and share what they had.
Ross had said to ask God for the understanding. Somehow she felt she had to come to that place before God would accept her. But maybe she was wrong. It would seem she was because so far it wasn’t working. She wasn’t understanding anything.
“Please help me to know You. The Bible says we all sin and I can see now that it’s true. I do sin.” The words were whispered on the wind and for the first time Mandy felt like God was listening.”
“Did You really die for everyone, God—for me too?” These words came on a sob and Mandy’s tears fell on the grass beneath her. She told God everything through those tears, her doubts and fears, her pride and stubbornness, but mostly how much she wanted to know Him and how afraid she was that He would turn her away.
She sat up when she had finished praying and stared up at the sky. She wasn’t sure why but she suddenly knew that God would never reject her.
No words would come then, but she realized she had crossed over the barrier in her mind. Verses Ross had quoted came to her, and every time one did she said yes to God. Yes to believing on His Son. Yes to eternal life. Yes to confessing her sin. And yes to being His child for evermore.
Her tears were spent as a deep peace settled within her. She looked up at the clouds and thought how God Himself had made them. She was on her feet in the next instant and running for the house.
“Carrie!” she shouted as she hit the back door. “Carrie! Amy! Where are you?”
“Mandy what is it? What’s happened?” Carrie and Amy bolted into the kitchen at the same time, wide-eyed with fear. They had been in the living room praying for Mandy and hearing her shout their names scared them half to death.