“My things, they’ll be safe? I mean, I have so little that was my parents’.”
“I’ll return everything to you, Amanda. Now try to stop fretting.”
“Ross,” Amy spoke for the first time. “I probably don’t need to say this, but we don’t want to do anything illegal.”
“I understand what you mean, and we may run up against that very wall in our effort to investigate this within the bounds of the law. If Marks does actually own the Jackson land, and this butterfly rock is on that land, then our hands are basically tied.
“I’m headed right now to see Rufus. Why don’t I come out to the house tonight and tell you what I come up with today?”
After this plan was agreed upon, Grandma Em walked Silas and Amy to the wagon. Mandy was about to follow when Ross called her name and took her arm.
“I’ll do what I can for you, Amanda.”
“I know you will, Ross, and I appreciate it.”
“You didn’t say much today. What do you think is significant about butterfly rock?”
“There are a lot of little holes and even some caves in that area. I think Pa hid something and hoped that I would understand where to look.”
Ross nodded, having come to the same conclusion. He stared down at the woman before him and felt cheated that he’d seen so little of her lately. He’d prayed much about his relationship with her and had come to some very startling, humbling decisions which he wanted desperately to share with her when the time was right.
“Maybe when this is cleared up a bit, we can talk.”
“I’d like that.” As always when she looked at him, her heart beat faster. He permeated her thoughts, and although she begged God to change her feelings, she was still head-over-heels in love with Ross Beckett.
Out at the wagon Silas looked as if he might walk back in search of Mandy.
“Give them a few minutes, Si.”
The tall man looked at his grandmother.
“I remember sitting across the table from a certain grandson a few years ago, when he’d just come back from Neillsville without the woman he loved.” Grandma Em smiled at Amy before she continued.
“Ross and Mandy have the same miserable expressions you wore when you didn’t know if the person you loved would ever be yours. We’re told that in Christ we can be made whole and that in Him we need nothing else. But when we find the one we think we can’t live without, it’s pretty hard finding joy with that person out of reach. I’m not saying you can’t do it; it just doesn’t come easily.”
“And you think Ross and Mandy should be together?” Amy wanted to know.
“You might think I’m a meddling old woman, and I speak only for myself, not what the Lord wants—but yes, I think they should be together.”
“This is one of the things I appreciate about you, Ross,” Rufus spoke with sincerity, “you work with the law. I know what I’ve said frustrates you, but you will not set foot on that land! Everything you’ve showed me looks bad, and you’re right, the worst thing we could do right now is to alert Marks to our suspicions. All the more reason for you to let me handle it.
“Go ahead and get in touch with this Brooks in Reedsburg and see what he has to say. I’ll do a bit of scouting around. Marks wouldn’t dare throw me off his place.”
“I hear he’s actually living out there.”
“Yeah, one of the nicest homes in Baxter and Marks chooses to live in a shack at the edge of town. It makes you wonder.
“Now, you’ve got to warn Silas and the family that this is not going to fall into place overnight. Let me know when Brooks gets back to you. Meanwhile I’ll be keeping my eyes open for anything suspicious.”
Ross had hoped for a more encouraging report to take to Mandy that night, but it was not to be. She was grateful nonetheless, and Ross prayed for patience over having things constantly crop up to keep him and Amanda apart.
50
Things seemed to come to a standstill after the day Ross met with Rufus. Nothing suspicious turned up and no reply came from Reedsburg. Ross even inquired a second time and continued to wait.
October came and by the middle of the month temperatures plummeted. No one was mentally prepared for the snow flurries that came one afternoon. Grandma Em wished the only storm in her world was outside.
“Well, Preston, what brings you out on such a cold day?”
Emily Cameron opened the door wide for just an instant to allow him in. She took his coat and asked him if he cared for coffee.
“Is everything alright, Emily?” he asked when she set his cup in front of him.
“I’m a little tired today. I’m sorry about the black coffee, I’m out of sugar.” She said the words hoping she sounded casual, but Preston’s eyes were watchful and Grandma Em wondered if maybe the Lord had sent him just so she could talk with someone.
The truth was Preston knew exactly why she was upset, but Emily was a woman of dignity and and he didn’t want to do anything to destroy that quality. Telling her of his nephew’s visit this morning to inform him of yesterday’s talk with Grandma Em might ruin the trust she had in the bank.
“Preston, have you ever worried that when you grew very old you would be a burden to your family?”
“It’s crossed my mind some.” He watched her stare distractedly out the window while she fiddled with the handle on her still-full coffee cup.
“Pride is a terrible thing, isn’t it? I’ve made a mistake, and the thought of my grandchildren finding out and thinking I’m failing, well, let’s just say that wounds my pride.”
“Do you want to tell me about the mistake?”
She looked at him for a long time before sliding a ledger across the table to him. Preston turned the pages slowly and was glad Pete had warned him. Emily Cameron’s savings were near depletion.
“I can’t think how I did it. To go along for years thinking I’ve got sufficient savings to live out my life, and then to find out it’s nowhere near enough…Peter showed me several errors, do you see them? They wouldn’t have been so bad by themselves but Joseph’s original entry, in error by several hundred dollars, is the one that really hurts.
“Preston, I know that the Lord will take care of me and I know that the children would step in without question, but I just hate the thought of telling them. My pride, I guess, or not wanting to be a burden, I don’t know which.”
“My timing is probably terrible but maybe now is the time to ask that question I’ve been hoping you’ll say yes to.” Preston’s voice was soft and deep, his eyes intent on her face.
“And have you think I’m saying yes because I’m running out of money?” Obviously the idea appalled her.
“I know better, Emily. And I also believe God will take care of you. But did you ever stop to think I might be God’s answer to your needs?”
She hated the tears that flooded her eyes on that question, but they would not be stopped. Preston’s arms were around her as they stood by the table and Emily Cameron couldn’t remember anything ever feeling so wonderful. She’d forgotten how marvelous it was to be held and feel protected within the arms of a man who loves you.
“Everything is going to be fine, Emily. I’ll see to that.” The words were said as Preston held her tight, and all her doubts evaporated.
“I can’t believe that the pond is actually frozen.”
“That’s what everyone is saying, Ross.”
Ross shook his head in amazement. The weather was cold, very cold, and had been for what seemed like weeks, but it being only the first of November, it just didn’t feel like winter.
“There’s talk of an ice-skating party. Pastor Chad and one of the elders are planning to see if it’s safe on the ice, not that the big pond is very deep.”
“When would this be?”
“Saturday afternoon.”
Ross nodded in contemplation. He and Pete were headed out to Silas’ tonight and an idea was forming in his head; he would ask Amanda to the skating party. If it turned
out they didn’t go, he would ask her to supper at the hotel.
“You know, for a lawyer, you don’t work very hard at keeping your thoughts off your face. You’re grinning like a fool.”
“I’m not trying to hide my thoughts.”
“Let me guess, you’re thinking of Mandy?”
“How did you know?” Ross was truly surprised. “I don’t even see her, except for Sundays.”
“Ah, but Ross, it’s the evidence I see on Sundays that gives you away,” Pete said with a cheeky grin.
“What evidence?” Ross demanded.
But Pete only laughed and reminded Ross they were going to be late for supper if they didn’t get ready to go.
Ross was glad for the respite but didn’t begin cleaning up the minute his door was closed. He needed a few minutes alone to think about all that had happened.
He had not had one moment alone with Mandy since the short conversation in Grandma Em’s living room over a month ago. In all of the Sunday dinners and birthdays, he hadn’t the slightest chance to speak privately with her. And why he never asked for such an opportunity, like suggesting dinner or a drive, was beyond him at the moment.
Well, starting tonight all that would change. He really hoped that this land matter with Aaron Marks would be settled, so that Mandy would not feel that a part of her life was hanging in the balance. But at the moment that was not happening and Ross, who believed he had clear leading from the Lord, was not going to wait any longer.
51
“What has come over Peter?” Mandy whispered to Ross in confusion as soon as they were in the kitchen alone.
Ross shrugged his shoulders, thinking as he did that he was going to murder his housemate and leave his body to freeze in the snow.
If Pete had made one reference tonight about Ross and Mandy being a nice couple, he’d made 50. Comments such as “Ross, I think Mandy needs the potatoes,” when they were sitting at Silas’ elbow were nonstop. Neither Silas or Amy seemed upset by his words or actions, but Ross, who had tossed him more than one quelling look, wanted to get his hands around Pete’s neck.
Now supper was over and Ross was helping clear the table. He watched Mandy sail back out to the dining room for more dishes and followed on her heels.
Minutes later Mandy came very close to dropping her load of plates on the kitchen floor when Pete’s voice came through from the dining room.
“Here, Amy, I’ll get those. Mandy and Ross can do dishes and I’ll help clear.”
“I can help them, Pete,” Carrie’s voice spoke after a moment. Mandy didn’t hear the reply, but Carrie joined them in the kitchen a few minutes later.
“You know this kitchen isn’t as large as I thought.” Carrie and Mandy stared at Pete, who was coming into the kitchen with the last stack of plates, as though he’d sprouted wings. “I really think, Carrie, that Ross and Mandy would have more room to work if you were out of here.”
Mandy’s mouth dropped open when Pete winked at her and whisked Carrie out of the kitchen before anyone could object. Her eyes filled with suspicion, Mandy looked to Ross.
“Do you want to wash or dry?” His voice was as calm as you please, but his gaze was watchful.
Hesitating before she answered, Mandy hoped that something on his face would tell her what was going on.
“Carrie can come back in and help.”
“I don’t mind,” Ross assured her.
“I’ll wash then,” Mandy said after a moment and began to shave the bar of soap into the pan.
“Had you heard about the skating party Saturday?”
“At the pond you mean?” Mandy deliberately kept her voice neutral.
“Yeah.”
“I think Silas and Amy plan for us to go.”
“Actually, I was hoping you would accompany me.”
Mandy’s hands stilled in the soapy water and she turned slowly to face Ross. His hands were motionless on the plate he’d been drying, his eyes intent, hers questioning.
“You scare me to death, Amanda,” he spoke softly. “Not you specifically, but the thought of disappointing you. I’ve never met anyone who was in such need of cherishing. From the moment I met you I wanted to be the one to have that job, but all I’ve done is hurt you.”
“That’s not true, Ross.”
“Maybe not completely, but I have hurt you and the reason wasn’t clear until recently. I was trying to meet your needs in and of myself, trying to be too much to you. I didn’t want to get involved until I was sure of never hurting you or disappointing you again. But that was my idea, not God’s.
“There will be hurts and disappointments because I’m human, but Amanda, it won’t mean that I don’t care. In Christ I know you’ll forgive me.
“I thought that when the land was settled we could begin seeing each other, but it’s taking longer than expected and I want to get to know you now. I want to see and be with you now. If that sounds selfish, I’m sorry. Maybe all of this is too sudden.” Ross watched her a moment, wondering if he was about to be rejected.
“Is it too sudden, Amanda?”
Ross watched her hair swing against her shoulders as she shook her head no.
He would have understood if she didn’t trust him, but he really believed they had a future together and it had to start somewhere. The simple movement of her head made his heart fill and made speech a little difficult.
“Amanda, will you go skating with me Saturday afternoon?”
“I’d like that, Ross, very much.
52
Ross combed his hair for what must have been the fifth time and then laughed when he remembered he’d be wearing a hat the entire time they skated. The thermometer had risen some, but it was by no means warm. At least the sun was shining and it would be light for a few more hours.
Preston and Grandma Em would be coming any minute, and he had already heard Pete go downstairs. In less than ten minutes he would see Amanda. The thought made his heart pound. He wanted very much to give her time, but he also knew he was going to kiss her if the moment presented itself this evening.
He had done a tremendous amount of pondering on kissing in the last few days and had come to some serious conclusions, the most important being, you don’t kiss a woman unless you’re going to marry her.
He had kissed Sarah the times he’d gone away, and done so in the strongest belief that she would someday be his wife. For that reason he felt no shame. But the two other girls, the ones he had kissed before he came to Christ, brought him grief. Both girls had married men from his hometown, and Ross was profoundly sorry he’d kissed another man’s wife. That they were unmarried when he kissed them was beside the point. Faithfulness began even before you met your intended.
Ross suddenly wondered if Mandy had ever kissed a man. He knew for the first time, in that instant, that he was capable of jealousy. He didn’t feel enraged, but the thought of someone else kissing his Amanda was not a pleasant one. When the time was right he would apologize to her about the girls before he was saved and explain about Sarah. And if she had kissed other men he would need to feel the same forgiveness for her as he wanted from her.
“Ross, are you coming?” Pete called from the stairway. Ross hit the door at a run, his hat and gloves in hand.
“We couldn’t have asked for a clearer day,” Amy said as their wagon pulled up to the pond. There were two bonfires blazing to ward off the cold and to heat the cocoa, the aroma of which was already filling the air.
“Let’s get cocoa.” Levi’s first love was his stomach.
“You’re supposed to wait until you’re a little colder. We just got here,” Carrie informed her brother even as the four youngest Jacksons started that way.
“Mandy, honey, I’m a little worried about you,” Silas spoke with a gleam in his eyes. “You look so depressed this afternoon.”
Mandy laughed at his teasing which made her sparkling eyes even brighter, if that were possible. Her scarf and hat were white against her navy coat, all of
which framed her beautiful face and dark hair. Silas looked at her with pride, thinking a man couldn’t ask for a lovelier daughter.
“You’re not upset about meeting Ross here?”
“No, Silas, not at all. It didn’t make any sense for him to drive all the way to our house.” She spotted Ross just after she said this, and Silas watched as she bit her lower lip, much the way his wife did when she was upset. With Mandy it was uncertainty.
“Have I told you that you look wonderful?”
“Do I really, Silas?” She looked so anxious, his heart turned over.
“Yes, honey, you do. Now go and have some fun.”
He watched her walk toward Preston’s wagon and for an instant, felt like he was losing her. It almost gave him a feeling of being cheated. She’d lived with them such a short time.
“She’s not married yet, Si,” Amy read his thoughts. He smiled as he took her hand to follow the kids.
“I haven’t done very much of this.”
“You’re doing fine.” Ross spoke the soothing words as he held Mandy’s hand and led her out to the middle of the pond. He turned suddenly and skated backwards, taking both of her hands in his and guiding her progress.
“I thought you said you hadn’t skated for years!” Accusing him, she watched him glide backward, seemingly without effort. The words were a mistake because they caused her to take her eyes off of their feet. In the next instant both skates went in different directions. Ross caught her as she started down, laughing at the surprised look on her face.
“That was close,” Mandy said breathlessly.
“You didn’t really think I would catch you, did you?”
“No, I guess I didn’t.”
“O ye of little faith.” And then, “Amanda, look at me.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Yes, you can.”