“Everyone has their place,” he said. “Do you wish it to stop?”
“Why do they have to hurt them?”
Anya’s hands shook at my ankles.
“The pixies are strong. They take what’s given and keep the others calm. They are eager to please.”
But he clicked his fingers, and all of the pixies ran to the middle of the room and danced toward the musicians, away from the guests. I stared at him, feeling the way I had when he’d protected me from my father. He stared back, his expression unreadable.
“Why are you here?” I blurted. “In the human realm, I mean. Why haven’t you gone back?”
“Maybe I like it. It’s safer here. More freedom. Besides, it’s easy to forget there, easy to…” He shook his head. “You still haven’t eaten anything. Are you afraid?”
“Of course I’m afraid. I’m not stupid.” But I looked longingly at the wine, remembering the taste.
Brendan took a canapé from a plate, bit into it, and chewed. He swallowed the bite and handed the rest to me. “It’s not poison. See?” He glanced around the room as I hesitated. “They’re all watching.”
I already knew.
“I told Grim and Realtín to enjoy the evening,” he said in a tight voice. “I thought you might like that.”
I took the food from his hand and ate it to show I trusted him. Maybe to everyone else, it meant I wasn’t in control of myself and that my words could be discredited, just as Realtín said. His expression turned soft, but then he grimaced, and those green eyes turned violet. His fingers gripped the arms of the chair tightly.
“Anya, can you fetch me a glass of water?” I asked sweetly. “Ask Realtín how I take it.”
Anya glanced at the king before nodding and running off.
“How many times do I have to warn you?” Drake demanded angrily.
“I’m hungry. And they’re watching! I can’t refuse their king while they watch.”
“And if he tells you to take off your clothes and dance on the tables? If he tells you to kill a pixie of your choice? If he tells you to go home and end the lives of the people who raised you?”
“He wouldn’t do that,” I protested.
“You trust him now? But you don’t trust me? Are you really this stupid? He’s fae, Cara. Fae. Can’t you see what he’s doing?”
“He’s not doing anything but making me feel welcome.” I lowered my voice, noting the stares. “And you’re fae, too, remember? But when I assumed that about you, you acted like I was a bitch, so why is it different for Brendan? And can’t you ever show up to do something other than lecture me?”
“Start taking care of yourself, and I won’t have to.”
“And what about when you’re gone? When you’ve given up the fight and left me alone? What am I supposed to do then?”
“There isn’t—”
“You’re a coward, Drake.”
He glared at me, but Sorcha had noticed the change and came over to rip into him until Brendan managed to take control again.
“Louder music,” Brendan called out, his voice stronger than he looked.
Most of the fae were soon distracted by the pixies, who did their best to draw attention to themselves. Anya returned with a glass of water, except it was in the most extravagant-looking glass I had ever seen, so heavy that Anya could barely carry it. The rim had been coated in what looked like multi-coloured sugar, and the ice cubes were star-shaped and filled with pieces of fruit. A garish umbrella completed the ensemble.
“Oh.” I cast a glance in Realtín’s direction to see her doubled over with laughter. “This is… wow, Anya. You’re a star.”
She beamed and knelt at my feet again.
Brendan turned to me, and by the look on his face, I knew Drake hadn’t blocked him that time. He lifted a goblet and took in a mouthful before holding the glass out to me, daring me to drink with him, to forget all about Drake’s warnings and tedious lectures. He dared me to dive into the world of the fae with him, and I wavered.
He held my gaze for a couple of seconds, and I took the goblet. I kept my eyes on him as I took the first sip. The wine was as good as I remembered.
He took the cup back after my second sip. “Pace yourself, or it will burn.”
“I remember. I remember how it felt.” I had drifted into a minor buzz. I sighed as my entire body relaxed. “Even better than the bath,” I said, stretching my arms. I turned in my seat to look for Grim and Realtín, but I couldn’t see them anymore.
I started to turn back to face Brendan, but his hand was on my waist, his other tugging at the fabric of my dress to see my hip and side.
“What is this?” he asked, grinning. “Is that supposed to be a faery? This is a faery tattooed onto your body?”
“Wings and all,” I said, feeling as though I should be embarrassed but not quite able to get there.
“That explains a lot,” he said, his hand still pressed against my skin. “Care for a dance, mo Chara?”
“The only reason I can walk is because Anya’s been carrying half of the dress around.”
“You’ll dance,” he said. “Anya!”
She crawled out from under the table, a strange look on her face.
“Come to me,” he commanded in a soft voice. She moved around me and knelt at his feet. “Good little girl. Loyal to my favourite, aren’t you?”
She nodded, her eyes sparkling.
He touched her chin and ran his thumb across her lips. “You’ve done well, little one. I’ll remember this night. Now, go and enjoy the rest of the festivities with the others. Cara will be able to dance, won’t she?”
She nodded enthusiastically, apparently enthralled by the king. She left, trudging away while I felt light as the air.
“What the hell was that?” I asked.
“She’s yours now. If you hurt, she’ll take the pain for you.”
“What? I don’t want—”
He held out his hand. “Dance with me, Cara. Please.”
I let him lead me onto the dance floor, forgetting all about my dress and Anya and anything else that might have bothered me. My head felt a little fuzzy, and I could have sworn I was walking on grass.
“What’s that smell?” I asked.
“Flowers. I made a flower garden just for you to dance in.” His voice sounded far away, but his face was too close.
The heat between us ramped up significantly. He held on to me and spun me around. I tilted my head back and laughed, feeling as if we were flying. Maybe we were.
“So strong,” he murmured. “I could get used to that.”
“To what?”
“Whatever it is you’re doing right now. You don’t even know, do you?”
“I know I’m dizzy.”
The room stopped spinning. He pulled me closer to him, and the music slowed, switching to a familiar melody, a song from my playlist being played by faeries. I laughed. We moved in a human dance, and his eyes never left mine. I lost myself and forgot everything all over again. I could see why people never wanted to return. I was in ecstasy. I laid my hand on his chest and felt his heartbeat. My fingers clutched his shirt as lust overwhelmed me. I couldn’t tell if it stemmed from him or me, and I didn’t care.
“This is better than a human party,” I whispered.
He smiled and hummed along with the music. I saw Sorcha over his shoulder, glowering at me. I didn’t care. Fear couldn’t penetrate the haze, couldn’t break past how I felt right there in his arms. I wanted to kiss him, to taste his skin, but there were people all around us, staring, staring, staring at the king and his pet human.
“Everyone’s watching.”
“Let them,” he murmured and held me tighter. “Let them think I’m lost. When they come for me, I’ll be waiting.”
“Don’t say that,” I whispered. “I don’t want them to come after you.”
He leaned so close to me that our noses touched. “Do you care for me, Cara? Do you want to stay with me forever?”
/> The pixies surrounded us with gleeful giggles, skipping around us in a circle as the music got faster and faster. I held on to Brendan as he spun me around. My feet stopped touching the ground.
“Forever?” I touched his face in wonder. I had already considered it more than once. I stared at his green eyes, so deep and dark, but I was still searching for a hint of purple.
He spun me around as if I weighed nothing. He held my gaze, unrelenting, even when my cheeks burned. Dancing with someone meant nothing to me. Dancing with a king was different. A king who looked like Drake. I could pretend those green eyes were violet, pretend it all meant something, pretend he wanted more than a plaything and a night’s entertainment. I could pretend lots of things. I’d had years of practice, after all.
His dancing slowed, and his arms gripped me a little tighter. My breathing grew heavy, and a desperate ache formed between my legs. He leaned toward me and kissed my neck, sparking thrills of desire that spiralled outward, covering every inch of my skin.
I felt his smile against my skin, and I squirmed in his arms. “Not in front of everyone.”
“Everyone who?”
I glanced around in surprise. We were completely alone in the garden, surrounded by black roses. “What’s going on?” I blurted.
“The party ended hours ago.”
“Impossible.”
He grinned easily, and a cold shiver ran down my spine.
“Is everything here a dream? Is everything just fantasy?”
“Only when it has to be,” he said softly. He stopped dancing and brought my hand against my chest. “You are real.” He laid my hand on his chest so I could feel the thrumming of his heartbeat. “I am real.” He kissed me. It was a soft, wet, pleasant kiss that didn’t set my world on fire, but he tasted like faery wine, like a life that would help me forget the pain of reality. “And this is real.”
“For tonight?”
“Perhaps. But a night could be more than enough.”
“For you or me?”
A look of regret crossed his features. “Some things are not for me to know until it’s too late. That’s always been my downfall.”
“I won’t be your downfall.”
“I might be yours.”
I laughed, but a tear rolled down my cheek at the same time. “It might be worth it if it meant I could feel something else.”
He stroked my cheek. “The fae have been cruel to you. You should run from us, my lovely.”
“I’ve nowhere to run.”
“Stay here long enough, and you won’t be capable of leaving.”
“I’m never afraid when I should be. That’s how I ended up here, remember?”
“The one with nothing to lose. Mostly caused by my kind, and yet here you are. There’s a name for girls like you, Cara. I should put you out of your misery.”
“Do.” I tried desperately to care about the softly spoken threat, but I couldn’t. I longed for the kind of peace only the likes of a faery king could give me.
“I haven’t finished with you yet. You could stay with me, Cara, and be treated like a queen. All it would take is one command, and all around you would idolise you, bow before you, love you. That’s all you want, isn’t it? To be loved. To feel like the centre of someone’s world. It comes with a price, everything does, but I could give you everything you’ve ever longed for.”
“It wouldn’t be real love. Just the fantasy.”
“Sometimes the fantasy is enough.” He twirled me around and then performed a small dip.
I stared up at him, my lips trembling. “Not for me. I want something real.”
“I can give you real.” He pulled me to him. His lips descended onto mine as his hands tangled in my hair.
I closed my eyes and let him pull me into his world, the one where rooms spun and lights shone and false miracles happened. He lifted me and twirled around, his lips still on mine. The spinning was too much. I couldn’t see properly, couldn’t think. I was in a daze, and I wanted it to stop. I needed it to stop.
“Stop!”
Brendan lifted me high into the air. It was dark, and the moon had disappeared. I frowned in confusion as he set me down.
“It’s late,” he said, touching my chin with his finger and thumb.
He kissed me again, his tongue soft and sensual against mine. I gasped, dizzy all over again. I kissed him back so hard it hurt, but I couldn’t stop. I needed more, more, always more. I fell, and my eyes opened with a start.
I was lying on my bed. Brendan smothered my questions with his mouth as he climbed on top of me. I ran my fingers through his hair, hearing my own heart pound. His hand ran up my thigh. I kissed him as if I didn’t need to breathe, as though it was my last night on earth. He pulled away, and I almost cried from the loss.
“Are you willing?” he whispered.
The words sounded strange. They were important, I knew, but I couldn’t quite remember why.
“Cara, are you willing?”
I opened my mouth to say yes when I heard a scratching sound at the door. The cat. Something triggered in my head. Willing? With Brendan? What the hell was I doing?
I sat up and stared at the faery king. I slid a finger from his lips to his Adam’s apple and sighed at my body’s reaction. My body wanted his body, but my soul needed more. And my head said I didn’t want any of it.
“I’m not for you,” I whispered.
He blanched. “Almost. Almost.”
I pushed him back, getting to my knees so I looked down on him. I ran my hands along his shoulders, feeling the warmth of his bare skin. I couldn’t even remember him removing any of his clothes. His eyes burned with desire, but his pupils were too large. He looked as entranced as I had felt, and it was wrong. All wrong. If I let him kiss me, I might forget again.
“I want Drake,” I stated, pinching his shoulders. “I want Drake right now.”
He flinched, and I watched the internal struggle.
“I told you not to drink the wine,” Drake said.
My heart sank, but then he reached for me and pulled me closer, caught up in the dizzying bubble of intensity that Brendan had created. He kissed me, and everything else went away.
He pulled away, panting. “How? How did you fight it? You’ve been caught in the magic for hours. He sent Grim and Realtín away, so they couldn’t help you. How did you break free?” His skin glowed in the dark. His wings were folded in, but the shimmers reflecting made him look angelic.
“It felt like a couple of minutes,” I said. “We were dancing, and I asked him to stop, but everyone was gone, and then I was here, and he was asking me if I was willing. I heard… I don’t know. Something… woke me. My body was willing, but I knew it was all wrong. How did you get back?”
He stroked my face. “I’ve been fighting all night. You gave him strength. The power of your emotions was enough for him to feed on. You were like a drug. I don’t think he knew what he was doing for a while. I thought I was fading. The darkness kept growing, and I barely saw you anymore, but then you said my name. You chose me, and I couldn’t stop myself from grabbing the reins again. Now, here, holding you… it’s not even a struggle. I don’t know how, but I don’t even care. When I saw him with… I want you, Cara. Before it’s too late.”
His eyes had the same dazed look as Brendan’s. I wondered if we were each other’s drug, if he knew what he was doing. But when he kissed me, I forgot to care. I didn’t want the night to end, didn’t want Brendan to return, didn’t want to go back to the human world and leave all of the magic behind. And it was magical, feeling as if I could care about someone who might return the feeling.
“How long do we have?” I asked. “The truth.”
He traced a finger up my spine. “This could be the last time. He’ll have to avoid you after this to protect himself from me. And if you feed him the way you did tonight… this could be goodbye.”
“Don’t let him. Fight him.”
“I’m not strong enough. And it’
s too late.”
“Then say goodbye properly,” I pleaded, my heart threatening to rip into pieces.
My soul knew his soul, and my soul would mourn and pine if his left the world. I stood and removed the jewellery. He came up behind me and undid the dress, letting it slip to the ground. His hands rested on my shoulders before travelling downward. I shivered at his touch, at the exposure. Sex had never meant anything before. But with him, it would, and afterward, there would be a goodbye.
Two thoughts chased each other in my head. He wanted me, and we were facing our final night together. I couldn’t go through life without knowing. Turning to face him, I took his hands and led him to the bed. “Stay with me.”
The magic sparked in the air, like nothing I had ever felt before. He hesitated, but his eyes were filled with longing. I closed the space between us and kissed him. He lifted me onto the bed, but I sensed him holding back. I rolled him over and straddled him. I leaned over him, suddenly afraid of rejection, but he lifted his hand and ran it through my hair, pulling me to him. I lived through one long, heartbreakingly beautiful kiss. Every inch of my skin screamed out for more, even as I savoured his taste in my mouth.
He held me away and stared at me with the kind of look I wanted for the rest of my life. It was real and pure and adoring, and I would have suffered through a thousand deaths just to bask in the warmth of it again. If I could only bottle up how worthy he made me feel and learn it for myself, half of my problems would disappear.
He pulled the rest of the pins from my hair agonizingly slowly, running his fingers through the strands until I shuddered. “Why you?” he murmured as he nuzzled my throat, leaving a trail of warmth in his wake. “Why now? There must be old blood in your veins.”
“Why?” I gasped as a thrill rushed through my body and ricocheted, smouldering every nerve ending until my skin felt aflame. The light around him seemed to burn brighter.
“How else could any of this be? It wasn’t supposed to happen this way, Cara. Not like this.”
“No regrets,” I whispered.
He rolled me onto my back, pushing my arms up over my head. “Never,” he said firmly, his lips brushing my skin everywhere.
I was on fire. There was magic in his touch, in the air, in every movement we made. I lifted my hips, colliding with his. He whispered words I didn’t recognise and explored my body.