* * *
Zora Baker sat on the hard cold table with her legs dangling. Today will be her day of strength and vindication. She would be strong like her father said and act her age. Nothing was wrong with her and today she would get proof.
She hated her mother came with her to the doctor’s office. At the age of fifteen, she felt she could handle her life herself and should be the first to hear news concerning her. Her father told her she had a medical condition that was treatable with drugs. She hated he didn’t come, she preferred him to her mother.
Rebecca Baker came into the room with Doctor Ingalls, a short portly man with gray hair and glasses.
“What is it?” asked Zora, not able to stand another second of not knowing.
“You have a problem, honey.” Rebecca said. “You can’t excite yourself. That causes your problem.”
“I don’t have a problem,” she protested. “Daddy said it is a treatable condition.”
“Doctor Ingalls ran tests on you. They say that you have a problem, not a condition.”
“I’m—”
“What did I say?” Rebecca shouted.
She always does that. Zora looked at the doctor. The man hung his head low. He brought her and all but the first two Baker children into the world. For him to look down was not good.
“Doctor Ingalls?”
“Are you questioning me?” shouted Rebecca.
Zora was happy her mother made a recovery, but it took so long the young girl grew up without her and lost some reverence for her status. Only the doctor could tell the truth. She tried again.
“Doctor?”
“What—”
“It is not as bad as you believe,” said the doctor, breaking in over her mother. “To put it simply, Zoraphena, you have a medical condition that causes you to momentarily freeze. It is not per se life threatening, but it does put you at a disadvantage.”
“Like what,” she asked, breathless.
“You can’t drive a car. If you froze, you would kill yourself or some bystander. You can’t operate heavy machinery either.”
“Anything else,” she gulped.
“A few more, but that’s not your main problem.”
Doctor Ingalls looked at her mother.
“What more is there?”
The doctor hesitated. His skin looked cold and clammy. He held his head down, not wanting to look at her. She knew that beaten look.
“What did you do, mother?”
“I didn’t do anything, honey.”
“Wh-wh-what your mother is saying is that, um, well she, um, well she refuses to let you take the medicine to keep you on track.”
“God will take care of my daughter, not drugs you and your kind want to jack her up with!” Rebecca blasted.
“It’s not voodoo, Rebecca. It’s medicine she needs. God, Rebecca! We went through this with Paul. Do the right thing this time and give her a fighting chance.”
“You’re not pumping chemicals into my daughter. I won’t allow it! Come on, honey, we’re leaving.”
“But, Reb—”
“But nothing! You give my baby drugs and she will become a drugged-out junkie. She won’t be able to take care of herself or a family. She will become a thief, stealing from her family to get drugs. We will have to kick her out into the streets and what happens to her then? Are you going to take care of her? What about her immortal soul? What happens if she can’t find a husband?”
Doctor Ingalls held his head low.
“Come along, Zoraphena.”
Zora hopped down off the table. Her mother held out her hand and instantly reduced her to a three-year-old child. Zora couldn’t refuse. With a last look at the doctor, she left the room. On the way out the door, the receptionist stopped them to ask Rebecca a question.
“What time would you like your next appointment, Mrs. Baker?”
“Never! We won’t be back.”
Zora walked out behind her mother. She understood most of the conversation. Her father warned her that she might not be able to drive a car. She didn’t care, she stayed on a farm on the edge of town. Her world hadn’t changed since she was five. She had no friends and went nowhere, not even to school. She helped her mother at the grocery store and made the rare visit to the doctor’s office. Driving a car held no thrill for her. She couldn’t miss what she never had.
Her mind wandered to the drugs her mother spoke of. Why couldn’t she have them? She knew deep down. Paul, her fourth brother from the top, did more than freeze like her. He shook, violently. So violently they held him down and put a spoon between his teeth. Daddy said it was to keep him from eating his tongue, gross.
Now that she was older, it made sense. It was some type of epilepsy Paul had. That has to be what she has. They never came out and said it, but before leaving school, a visit to the school library, followed by a search online, gave her the truth. She thought about the side effects she read about and concluded that her mother meant she didn’t want her daughter drugged up and unaware of her surroundings. Possibly becoming addicted and becoming a drug addict. Mother was right. Stay away from drugs and let God take care of it. Thank God for mom.
They arrived back home and Zora finished her housework. She thought about what to say to her father, but was spared, he and her brothers took Nicholas on a bachelor’s retreat and wouldn’t be back for several hours. Tonight will be Beth Ann’s wedding. She could put it off until the happy couple leaves for their honeymoon. Maybe, just maybe, he won’t be disappointed in her. She closed her eyes and said a prayer. For the most part, Paul grew out of it at seventeen, maybe she would too.
Chapter Sixteen: April