Chapter Sixteen
The pretender to the throne of Glennmorley, King Edwin, awakened that very morning to news that armies were approaching from all directions, advancing on the castle. “How can this be possible? I have control over five of the kingdoms! There is not one soldier who has not sworn his allegiance to me. How did we receive word of these approaching armies, and where is Lord Mellem?!”
The page who had wakened Edwin paused a moment. “Sir, you only have to go to your balcony to see and hear the oncoming hordes.”
Edwin jumped out of bed and threw open the doors to the balcony, staring in amazement at the sight. The glare of thousands of torches lit up the backs of the surrounding hills. The air echoed with the trumpeting sound of a song that came to everyone’s ears as clear as a spoken word. “Trolls?! Trolls are advancing on my castle?!” King Edwin turned crimson with rage, his eyes bulging, his nostrils flared.
“What madness plays with the mind of the fool leading these creatures? Surely they do not think that they will simply waltz in here and take over? Where is that ‘Idiot Lord Mellem’? Go find him and have him meet me down in the great hall!” Edwin watched the page leave. He picked up a huge vase and dashed it to smithereens against the far wall. The sound of the song kept repeating itself in Edwin’s ears. He slammed the doors closed. “I shall show these dreadful slimy green creatures that I mean business! I will see to it that every troll in every kingdom under my command is annihilated!” He quickly dressed and cinched his sword around his waist.
Moments later he found himself in the great hall. Pandemonium reigned supreme. People seemed to be running hither and yon on an imaginary quest to accomplish nothing. Guards were scattered all over and looked as if they had already lost the battle. Edwin screamed at the top of his lungs. “Quiet! Quiet, you blithering fools!” Silence fell upon the great hall and everyone froze in place. Edwin grabbed one of the guards. “Go find me your commander now and tell him if he does not appear fast enough that I shall have his bones ground up to feed the swine.!!” He pushed the guard away and watched him flee.
“You wanted me, Your Highness?” Nonchalantly Lord Mellem walked into the room, picked up the teapot and started to pour himself some tea.
Edwin leered at Mellem and knocked the cup out of his hand. “You fool!” Edwin’s voice dropped to a snarl. He went nose to nose with his new head counselor. “What is it that your small, pea-sized brain does not comprehend?! We have an army of thousands of trolls advancing on my castle and all you can do is ask me what I want?!”
Mellem backed away, wiping spittle from his face. “My King, I see no need to get upset over this impending fantasy that these trolls have. All of the entries and exits have been sealed with iron doors. Even cannons cannot penetrate them, let alone some puny troll army. The battlements are way too high for even ladders to reach, and even if they did get to the walls, we would rain arrows down on their puny, green carcasses. No, I see no reason to get excited about this non-event.” Mellem walked back to the table where he picked up another cup and poured himself some tea. He lifted the cup to his mouth and observed with a demonic grin, “Besides, we hold the balance of power. Do we not hold those of the other royal houses prisoner?” Mellem cackled.
Edwin looked at Mellem for a moment as if he were trying to decide whether to believe him or not. “You are right, Mellem. I have over-reacted. Besides, if you are wrong, I will run you through with my sword before any intruders have a chance to use theirs on your worthless hide...” Edwin smiled menacingly at Mellem. He reached over and poured himself a cup of tea and took a swallow. “By the way, I hope that all of the families are enjoying our hospitality.”
Lord Mellem smiled and picked up a finger cake. “Your Highness will be pleased to know that they complain continuously about the accommodations and food. Your mother laments perpetually, wondering why you are being so mean to them. Your father ponders if the nurse maid’s milk was bad, or if she dropped you on your head.” A sneer washed across Mellem’s face. “Poor Prince Windermere sits in a corner of his cell, sobbing and mumbling to himself and screams hysterically when his food is delivered. I guess perhaps that he does not like the type of porridge we are providing. As for the other royals, they would like to watch you get tortured and given a thousand deaths. I dare say, Your Highness, that you do not seem very popular with them at this moment.”
King Edwin sighed. “It is so hard to be such a good king... After we get rid of the pestilence outside, we shall have to rid the castle of the unwanted creatures in the dungeons.” He picked up a finger cake and was about to put it in his mouth when the captain of the guard came bounding into the room.
The young man stopped in front of the king. “I am sorry, Your Highness, that I took so long to answer your summons, but I was in the middle of talking to my men up on the battlements. Some of the men are unnerved by the sights and the sounds that morning has given birth to. I have them stationed with bows and rock launchers all around the battlements. I see no way of the enemy breaching the walls or entries.”
“Very good, Commander. What does your predecessor think about the job you are doing?”
“Commander Andre wishes that we shall all feel the point of a sharp sword disembowel us slowly. He says that I am a man without honor and a traitor to the real king.” A nervous twitch appeared in the commander’s eyelid and his face turned ashen.