CHAPTER 15
INTUITION
“Clair honey, what happened? Are you alright?” Marie said urgently, as she ran into Clair’s room. She had been on her way up the stairs when she heard Clair screaming and ran heart pounding to see what had happened.
Clair was sitting on her bed hugging her knees to her chest and crying uncontrollably. She looked up at her aunt with desperation in her eyes but she did not speak, she wouldn’t have even known what to say if she could have managed to get any words out.
Marie moved slowly to the bed and sat down next to her niece, “Clair what’s the matter?”
Clair still did not speak; she was in shock. Had she really seen what she had thought she’d seen? She wasn’t sure if it was a dream or if it was real, and if it was a dream it certainly felt real. She was in a state of confusion and the look on her face reflected the turmoil that was going on inside her head. She grasped at the necklace that hung around her neck; it had grown hot at the moment that she had screamed, and at the same moment a sudden rush of inconceivable information came flooding into her mind numbing all of her senses.
“Clair, you’re scaring me,” Marie said, looking at her with evident concern, “please tell me what happened.”
Clair suddenly jumped out of bed and began carelessly grabbing her things from around the room and shoving them purposefully into her bag. “I have to go home right now,” she said, stuffing a pair of socks into a side pocket.
“Now?” Marie questioned, “It’s almost midnight, your mother is probably sleeping.”
Clair froze at Marie’s words. She dropped the shirt in her hand and began breathing so heavily that she thought she might pass out.
Marie hurried over to her, “Are you ill?”
Clair shook her head and sobbed even harder.
“Did you hurt yourself?”
Clair shook her head again and swayed on the spot.
“You really have to tell me what’s wrong,” Marie said, steadying Clair and leading her to the bed, “what happened?”
Every time Clair opened her mouth to speak the only thing she could manage to say was, “I have to go home.”
Marie looked at Clair desperately trying to figure out what was the matter with her. If she wasn’t hurt and she wasn’t ill what would have caused her to scream? More importantly, what was she so terrified about? Marie wracked her brain trying to think of a possible explanation for Clair’s sudden madness, but couldn’t come up with any reason for this erratic behavior.
“Maybe I should call your mother,” she said dejectedly.
Clair was shaking violently as she looked up at her aunt. Why hadn’t she thought of that? She nodded frantically at Marie.
“You want me to call your mom?” Marie asked, mimicking Clair and nodding at her.
Once again Clair nodded insistently as a spark of hope rose inside of her. Yes that would be best, they should call her mother and then she would know for sure.
Marie sat on the edge of the bed and dialed her sister’s number. After several minutes she put the phone down. “It’s the answering machine, but don’t worry I’ll try her on her cell phone,” she said, as she noted the panic rising in Clair’s expression.
Clair knew by the look on her aunt’s face that her mother had not answered her cell phone either. Marie left a message on Jo’s voice mail and then set the phone back down on the nightstand, “I’m sorry Clair but she’s not picking up.”
Clair stomped resolutely over to the phone and picked it up with an unsteady hand. She dialed Ian’s number and waited with her heart in her throat listening to the ringing in her ear. One ring, two rings, three rings, four rings, five rings, she had already known from the moment she had dialed the number that nobody would answer. The phone fell from Clair’s shaking hand and clattered to the floor.
“Oh my God, I knew it! Aunt Marie, I have to go home, I have to! Please take me home, something’s wrong I just know it! Please Auntie take me home!”
At that moment Jenna came into the room. She paused in the doorway and took in the scene before her.
“Thank God, Jenna,” Marie said, as soon as she noticed her daughter in the doorway, “I don’t know what’s wrong with her. Help me calm her down.”
Jenna did not move right away, she stood studying her cousin who was running around the room throwing everything she could into her bag. She did not seem as surprised by Clair’s frantic desperation to leave as Marie did, and it took her until now to come and see why her cousin had screamed in the first place. Jenna stood in a silent debate with herself about what to do for her cousin. How could she even begin to help her?
“Jenna! Can you help me please?” Marie said loudly, as she followed Clair aimlessly around the room.
“You need to take her home mom,” Jenna said, as she walked into the room and began helping her cousin gather her things.
“Take her home? It’s so late.”
Jenna strode over to face her mother “If I were acting like this,” she said, motioning to her cousin, “wouldn’t you want Aunt Jo to bring me home?” She asked in a hushed voice.
“Yes, of course I would,” Marie said, “but I don’t know what’s wrong with her. What am I supposed to tell your aunt?”
“Tell her that her daughter wants to come home.”
“But your father has the car. Mine is at the shop, remember? He and Joshua are camping and they won’t be home until the morning.”
“Why don’t you try to get a hold of him on his cell phone and I’ll help Clair,” Jenna said as calmly as she could.
It seemed to Jenna that she would have to be the voice of reason, as her cousin and mother were both not thinking clearly. Clair’s frantic outburst had sent Marie into a state of deep concern and confusion, and it was obvious to Jenna that she needed to restore some level of order.
Jenna went back to her cousin and took a top out of her shaking hand, “Here let me do that for you, why don’t you have a seat for a minute.”
Marie was beside herself, she had no idea what was going on and what in the world was she going to tell her sister? She reluctantly headed to her own room to call her husband but decided to try her sister one more time first. She called Jo’s house and her cell phone but once again there was no answer on either.
Clair sat quietly on her bed crossed legged watching Jenna pack her things for her. Neither of them spoke although they glanced at each other periodically wondering what the other was thinking. Clair watched her cousin absentmindedly, something felt different somehow, and there was a sort of unspoken sense of unity between the two of them.
“Thank you Jenna,” Clair finally managed to get out. She didn’t know why, but now that she was alone with her cousin, she felt that she could speak freely.
“You’d do the same for me,” Jenna responded.
“You must think I’ve gone crazy,” Clair said.
“Actually, no I don’t,” Jenna said, zipping Clair’s bag closed.
Clair got off of the bed and walked over to her cousin. She reached for her bag and caught sight of Jenna’s face.
“Have you been crying?” Clair asked.
Marie walked into the room as Jenna opened her mouth to answer her cousin, “I got a hold of him. They’re packing up and coming home but they won’t be back until early morning. I’ll take you home as soon as they get back,” she said reassuringly to Clair.
“Thank you Aunt Marie,” Clair said, putting her bag down and sitting on the bed.
“Why don’t you try and get some sleep until they get here,” Marie said, as she sat down next to Clair and placed an arm around her shoulder. “Don’t worry I’ll wake you as soon as they come in.”
Jenna sat on the other side of Clair, “That’s a good idea,” she said, “Mom why don’t you try and get some sleep as well, I’ll stay with Clair.”
Clair was relieved that her cousin had made the suggestion, but the look on Marie’s face told her that she had no in
tention of leaving her side.
Clair turned to face her aunt, “I’m so sorry that I disrupted your night. I had a really bad dream, it felt so real and I guess I just needed a few minutes to clam down. I’m fine now I promise. It would make me feel better if you went and got some rest.”
Marie eyed her niece, she had never seen her act so irrationally and she wanted to keep an eye on her. From the moment she heard Clair scream she had a gut wrenching feeling that she just couldn’t get rid of. Even now that Clair had told her that all of this commotion was due to a bad dream, she still could not shake the sickly feeling rising into her throat.
“Mom, we’ll be fine,” Jenna said. “I promise I won’t leave Clair’s side.”
Marie contemplated the two girls for a few minutes and then grudgingly left the room. She knew that Clair and Jenna were close and she also knew that Jenna would come and get her if there were any problems, so she plopped herself down on her own bed, knowing full well that she would not sleep a wink.
Jenna lay back on Clair’s bed and patted the pillow next to her indicating that she should lie down as well. The two girls lay quietly next to each other, each of them staring up at the ceiling lost in their own thoughts, and both of them appreciating the other’s silence.
Clair was grateful that Jenna had offered to stay with her, she somehow felt calmer having Jenna next to her. Clair loved her aunt very much and in any other circumstance she would have welcomed her company, but at this very moment she could not think of anyone, apart from her mother, that she would rather have next to her. She and Jenna had always been very close but for some odd reason she felt closer to her now than ever, and it suddenly struck Clair how hard it must be for Jenna to refrain from questioning her. She herself wanted to question Jenna about why she had been crying but she had the feeling that she may not want to know the answer. Maybe Jenna was thinking the same thing; maybe she was scared to find out what had spooked Clair so completely that she felt the need to go home at this very second.
Clair’s thoughts drifted back to the dream, or vision, or whatever it was that she had. She herself wasn’t sure if she was awake or asleep but she knew that it was far too real for her to ignore.
She had spoken to her mother and Ian everyday since she left to stay with her aunt for the summer, and that morning was no exception. They both sounded extremely happy and joked with Clair about her missing the rehearsal dinner that they were hosting for Marcus and Isabella that evening.
It was Ian’s birthday and he was less than thrilled about having to celebrate it with Isabella’s family. He offered to change places with Clair and Jo had scolded him and told him to behave himself. They seemed so happy that Clair began to wonder if she was just overreacting, but the more she thought about it the more she absolutely knew that she was not.
The vision was etched in her mind and she knew beyond a doubt that she had to get home as soon as she possibly could, although she also knew that it would make no difference. Her being at home would not change a thing but at least she could see with her own eyes and then she would know for certain.
Clair hoped with all of her heart that she was wrong, but what if she wasn’t? What would she do? She began to wonder if it was such a good idea to have made such a scene in front of her aunt and cousin. If she was wrong she could just pass it off as paranoia over an extremely realistic dream. But what if she was right? How was she going to explain that? Could she pass off such a display of madness as plain old intuition? She suddenly felt so alone; the feeling was incredibly overwhelming as she lay in the darkness with her thoughts enveloping her and tears began to race down her face onto the pillow.
Just then she felt Jenna’s hand in hers. “I’m here,” was all she said.
Those two small words not only caught Clair off guard, but brought her more comfort than she thought possible. How could Jenna have known that those were the words she most needed to hear? She turned to her cousin; although it was dark she could see her face from the glow of the full moon coming in through the window. Jenna lay perfectly still with her face looking to the ceiling, and Clair caught sight of a tear shimmering on her cheek in the darkness. It was at that exact minute that Clair realized that she was not alone, she understood with complete certainty that Jenna was with her. Not just lying next to her, but with her. Jenna had seen the same thing that Clair had seen, that’s why she had been crying earlier and that’s why she was crying now.
“Oh Jenna,” Clair gasped.
“Shhh, mom’s coming,” Jenna said, suddenly feigning sleep.
Clair thought it best if she too pretended to have gotten some rest and quickly turned her head and closed her eyes.
“Clair honey, wake up. They’re back, we can leave now,” Marie said quietly, as she gently patted Clair’s arm.
Both girls blinked their eyes sleepily and stretched out as if they’d slept solidly for hours.
Clair sat up, “We can leave now?” She asked groggily.
“Yes, but are you sure you still want to go?” Marie asked hopefully.
“Yes,” Clair said, getting out of bed and picking up her bag then turning to her aunt, “I know that I’m asking a lot of you but I just have to go.”
“It’s okay sweetheart, I know you must miss your mother terribly,” Marie said quietly. “I’ll just wait for you downstairs,” she said, as she turned and closed the door behind her.
The full impact of Marie’s words hit Clair like a sledgehammer, and she dropped her bag and wrapped her arms around her stomach sobbing. Jenna jumped to her side and embraced her.
“Jenna I’m so scared,” Clair blurted out.
“I know,” Jenna said, “we’ll do this together, okay?”
Clair pulled away from her cousin, “You’re coming with me?”
“I’m not leaving your side,” Jenna said, as she picked up the bag with one hand and took Clair’s hand in the other.
Clair followed Jenna down the stairs noticing how uncomfortably quiet the house was. She had been expecting to hear her aunt and uncle talking in the kitchen or her cousin, Joshua’s voice, he was naturally loud and they would have heard him even if he were whispering.
They entered the kitchen to find Marie sitting alone with her head in her hands and a cup of untouched coffee in front of her.
“Where are they?” Jenna asked, looking around the kitchen.
Marie jumped at the sound of Jenna’s voice; she had obviously fallen asleep waiting for them to come downstairs. She got up and put her mug into the microwave to reheat it and then took it out and downed it in a few gulps.
Clair now, on top of everything else she was feeling, felt extremely guilty. Because of her, Jasper and Joshua had to come home early from their camping trip, and her aunt was going to drive for two hours on virtually no sleep. She found it unnerving that her uncle and cousin did not even wait up long enough to say goodbye. Could they be angry with her for ruining their trip? Was her aunt upset with her for making such a fuss to go home, and for having to drive so far so early with such little sleep?
Jenna repeated her question, “Where are they?”
“They went to bed.”
“We didn’t hear them come up,” Jenna said.
“Joshua wanted to put the tent in the basement so they can pretend that they’re still camping,” Marie said, smiling as she poured more coffee into a travel mug.
The three of them walked out to the driveway and Marie got into the driver’s seat.It was a beautiful crisp morning. The sun was just starting to peek out over the distant trees and the birds were gathering themselves in bunches on the surrounding fences to begin their morning chatter.
Clair paused before getting into the car taking in a deep breath and letting the fresh morning air fill her lungs. It felt very odd to feel so completely dark and empty on such a glorious morning.
Jenna looked at Clair meaningfully and reached out a hand, “I’m here,” she said.
“I know,” Cl
air said, as she gave Jenna’s hand a squeeze.
Clair got into the car knowing that she was going where she inevitably had to go, but also knowing that she would not like what she found when she got there. She settled herself in the back seat with her heart throbbing, wishing beyond all hope that just this once there was no such thing as intuition.