Chapter 38
A long day of meetings, decisions, and inspections passed. Snow did get to flex his wings by inspecting the new tower designs on the west coast. The coasts were the least likely Invasion sites, being furthest from where Moenian was believed to be, and so they were testing grounds for new technologies. The latest Towers were more collapsible, and stood up to the ocean's harsh winds well. They were cheaper too, requiring less wood, though that development was a bonus compared to the gorgeous sea vistas, the joy of flight, and Catch's discomfort as Snow carried him.
Servants brought him a meal after his last meeting. Snow insisted on eating whatever the other Shields ate, so he had his fourth stew in as many days. It was hearty, simple, and warm. He ate in silence, reviewing reports.
Catch had once said, “Contegons don't run Geos, and nor does Sol: paper does. Reports, tallies, and ledgers. A Shield-General must master paper or it'll bloody well master him.” His ire and hatred always stuck with Catch, so he smiled as he went from a report on his effective manpower per square mile to the fascinating topic of human waste disposal.
When his plate was empty, the cutlery was whisked away. Only then was he truly alone in his tent. With a spare moment, he sat back in his chair, closed his eyes, and let his mind drift.
His upcoming ascension to Shield-General leapt to fill the gap. Scar and his mother, Wire, had wanted this for him so much that he’d accepted Maya's offer on their behalf. At the time, he was desperate to be in the war again, to make a difference after seeing Aureu destroyed. Then he'd been swept away by the majesty and joy of becoming an Acolyte. That unrivalled honour was still there, a small kernel that made itself known when he summoned Sigil's strength, but he’d never considered his future, or what he really wanted from it.
He frowned. This wasn't like him. He was deflecting. The war, the Scourge, advancing up Geos... all that he'd achieved so far had been done in the comfort of Catch's shadow. Now that shadow was withdrawing, he panicked about standing against the Disciples as Shield-General of the western Front. Perhaps that was why he’d blown off so many meetings.
Snow had faced many horrors, seen people at their worst and their best, but being Shield-General scared him more than all else. He imagined himself making the mistakes of the Scourge over and over, blunting Geos' hard-fought advantages until they were nubs and he was Rested in disgrace.
Shaking himself from this morose state, he found Sigil hovering overhead. Its looming both concerned and comforted, a weight that could crush him and a reminder that Sol had allowed him this position. His mood calmed as he watched the Servant.
“What do you think?” he asked. “Are you ready to work with a Shield-General?”
Sigil tilted forward, bowed almost.
“I knew you would be. This is Sol's will. I just... I know I will make mistakes.”
Sigil did not respond, did not move.
“I know, I know, everyone does. Maya certainly does. I just don't want to. Not that anyone wants to, of course. But I'm as young as the First Servant and I–”
Someone rang the bell outside his tent tinkled. Sigil disappeared, knowing to remain hidden except in the company of other Acolytes, and Snow sat up in his seat.
“Enter,” Snow said, taking a deep breath to switch back to his Shield-General state.
The familiar Contegon from the other day opened his tent's flap and stepped inside. “Excuse me, Shield-General, I– Oh, were you not meeting someone?”
“Only Sol,” he replied. “You don't have an appointment, Contegon...?”
“Contegon Insight.” Snow must not have been able to control his surprise at her unusual name, as the Contegon continued, “I was so Named because I achieved a perfect score on my Academic tests. My insight served me well, and should serve you just as much.”
“Well, here's hoping,” Snow replied. “Contegon Insight, you don't have an appointment. As you are freshly arrived in New Call, I hope you have a good reason for disturbing my valuable time?”
The Contegon's expression became a mix of disappointment and relief. “You don't recognise me, do you?”
“You were at the introduction this morning,” Snow said, tiring of her attitude already.
She put her hands on her hips and wore an unusual smile. “I suppose I have changed, but I'd really thought you'd recognise me one-on-one.”
Snow sighed, stood and walked round his dining table to his tent's entrance. “I'm sorry to disappoint, Contegon Insight, but I meet thousands of people every year.” He held his tent’s flap open. “I get precious little time to myself, and do not want to spend it on a guessing game. So if you'll excuse me–”
“My full name is Contegon Element Insight,” she said.
“Element... Element...”
He let the tent flap fall to the floor. The Contegon laughed at his shocked expression, and she looked younger, more like the little girl with the inquisitive eyes, moulding blanket, and the ability to look right through him. Time had treated her well, made a true Contegon of her.
“Sol, Element, it's you?” he whispered.
“You've given me a pretty awful welcome so far: can I not even get a hug?”
Snow laughed and grabbed her, held her tight. “I can't believe it. It's been years since I last saw you!”
“It has,” Element said, squeezing back. “Just before you went to war.”
He released her and stepped away, looked her up and down. It was incredible how much of a warrior she looked, how different she was to the young girl who'd wept when he said goodbye. And yet the signs were there, the same features just a little different, the same smile. Lun, she'd even taken advantage of him, surprised him, as she loved to do.
“Sol, I can't believe it,” he said. “I can't believe you're here.”
“Well, from what I understand, I have you to thank for that.”
Of course, he'd asked Maya to consider Element for a Contegon position, but then he'd been swamped with... well, everything he was becoming, and hadn't considered it since. Clearly, she had flourished, especially if she'd graduated from the Advanced Squad.
“No,” he said, shaking his head, “it's Sol, and your own abilities, you have to thank.”
“Well, naturally, but... you know.”
“How are you?” Snow asked. “What weapon did you choose? I have so many questions.”
“So you don't mind me taking some of your time now?” Element asked playfully as she sat.
Snow sighed. “Yeah, I know. I don't like treating people like that, but it's the only way to stop them taking from me, from pushing their own agendas. And, frankly, I just get so tired of speaking to people that I jealously guard my time a— What?”
Element pushed him. “That was too easy! You have become so tight you can't even spot a simple joke!”
“I guess take myself seriously now,” he said, laughing at himself. “I have to, if everyone else is going to make the same mistake. But I've always got time for family. Even the impertinent ones.”
“Hey!” Element replied, faking shock. “Watch how you talk to a Contegon.”
“I don't have to: I'm an Acolyte. You should watch how you talk to me!”
She stuck her tongue out at him, and then sighed happily. “An Acolyte... I get goosebumps just thinking of your Station. It makes me remember that green plant creature wrapping itself around the Cathedral's towers. What's it like, being so... connected to Sol?”
“Surely you know too?”
“A Contegon's connection is not so... obvious. Not even an Advanced Squad member's.”
Snow smiled. “Sol, I'm so proud of you. It's no trifle to come up through the Advanced Squad.”
Element blushed slightly, waved a hand at him. “Thank you, but it's not the achievement it once was. The standards had to be lowered to bolster our ranks. You can see that with this most recent shipment.” She paused. “Not that I need to tell you about that.”
“Regardless, you met the Advanced Squad's stan
dards and perfected every academic test. That would have gotten you Graduated in the Advanced Squad before the Second Invasion, and you know it.”
She leant her head to one side, begrudgingly accepting his point.
Snow sensed the conversation needed to shift. “How is everyone else? The other refugees?”
“Trawl became a Shield and works for your counterpart, Eagle.”
“Is that so? I'll have to put a good word in to Eagle for him.” Element's smile faltered. “What?”
“It's not my place to say, but, if he wanted a good word from you, he would have asked. I think he wants to achieve what he can without your help.”
Snow nodded. “I can understand that. Sorry, it’s just automatic to try and help.”
Element started to fiddle with her white robes. “In truth, I was worried you had done that for me, used your influence to get me through the Advanced Squad. That is, until I saw you didn't even recognise me! It was almost like you'd forgotten, rather than boosted, me...”
Years of meetings with subtle and political people had trained Snow, but he didn't need any experience to detect that criticism. “I'm sorry. You, my family, have been so far from my thoughts as I went through my training and my advancement. I... I have no real excuse for it.”
Still fiddling, she said, “Did you not get our letters?”
“I did. I read them during the winters and I wanted to reply...” He shook his head, looked down at his feet. “No, it's a feeble excuse. I tied myself in knots to earn my Station, then this upcoming title. You were a lower priority to me. I... I need to write you all, apologise. But first, Element, I must say that I'm really sorry for not giving you the consideration you deserved.”
“Thank you, Snow,” Element said after a pause, her breath hitched. “That's half of why I came here to see you, to call you to task. I won't say it was easy, knowing you had more important things to do–”
“No,” he said, taking her hand, “I didn't. I only hope Sol forgives my mistake.”
Her expression softened into a smile.
“I'll make a note now, book in some time to write letters to everyone and—”
Element shook her head. “You don't need to, not at the expense of the Front. In truth, I think most of your family understand: we watched you rise and rise to the forefront of Sol's war. You can be forgiven for not looking back when so much is ahead of you.”
“Thank you. Sol, this is like the boat all over again: you correcting me for my mistakes, keeping me in check. There’s a lot less mould, though, of course.”
“I prefer not to think about those days,” Element said stiffly. “To remember all that… death.”
Snow nodded. “I understand. But I... No, forget it. Anyway, you said my callow ignorance was half of the reason you came. What was the other half?”
“Did I? Oh, I, well, I guess I meant it was to see you. To talk to you. Catch up, you know?”
It was a poor lie, but Snow let it go. “Well, we've got some time now. I can't stay up too late, though: early start, as always.”
“I have an early start too: I'm heading into the shadow of the Cruel Peaks.”
“That's a good placement. You probably won't get a Tower right away there, but you might see some... fighting,” he said, realising what he was saying. Element would be at a key part of the Front, protecting a Mining operation that provided raw materials for the Baptisms. She would certainly face Disciples in the next few months.
“I know! It's great, isn't it?”
Snow supposed it was, though he couldn't help but be concerned. As unprofessional and unwelcome from Element as it was, he'd ask Contegon Piety about the support Element would get. “Yes, it is.”
“Sol, sound enthusiastic about it at the least.”
Snow shook his head. “Forgive me but I've seen too many Contegons die to have any illusions about where you're going and what you will face. Lun, I've even ordered the deaths of many people like you.”
“Well, you needn't worry about me,” Element said. “I'm amazing.”
Snow laughed, and the mood broke. “Want some wine?”
Element grinned, delighted. “I'd love some. We can drink, catch up, then turn in early and do Sol's work in the morning.”
“I'm not Shield-General yet, so I can’t give an official view,” Snow said, standing to retrieve a bottle of wine gifted to him by an ambitious Major Shield, “but that, Element, sounds like an excellent plan.”