“What is it like?”
“It can’t be explained. No artist has ever been able to, really.”
“Then how do you know? How do you know if you’re experiencing it?”
He leaned forward, facing her directly. “You just do.”
She drew back, not liking his answer. “I don’t believe it. All powers can be seen, taught, demonstrated.”
“I never said it couldn’t be demonstrated, just not explained.”
“Can you demonstrate it to me? I’d… like to learn it. Know it.”
“Maybe you have?” he said.
She shook her head, falling right into that one. “I don’t know sexual pleasure.”
It was his turn to fall. “You just said you—“
“Know how to give sexual pleasure. I myself have not experienced it.” She said this in the most academic way and he fought not to let his rage slip. “I’m not supposed to,” she explained as though he were the one clueless. “I’m different,” she clarified.
She stared at him as though waiting for the verdict from him, the other Master, to maybe see if this too had a variance of interpretation.
But Solomon needed to get past his anger to even think. He stared down at his cup, gripping it between his fingers. “You wouldn’t be able to experience sexual pleasure unless those men loved you and you loved them.”
“Love,” she echoed, indicating he’d hit another fucked up dimension, one that was hard to wrap her mind around.
“The kind that doesn’t like hurting you.”
“Master doesn’t like hurting me,” she informed as though this made him a candidate.
Jesus fucking Christ. Solomon lowered his head, hiding his rage. “To… experience that kind of pleasure, a man will be very gentle with you.” He forced his gaze to hers. “He’ll be soft. He will ensure that you receive sexual pleasure because you receiving this pleasure means more to him than getting it for himself. Your pleasure is his pleasure. He will love you. Adore you. Cherish you. Die to protect you. Die to keep you happy. To make you smile.”
She stared at him like he’d just told her one of the most astounding and upsetting truths in the universe. She gasped, and looked away before making her way to her feet and hobbling to the door.
“Where are you going?”
“I need some fresh air.”
He let her go, looking at the wolf who perked his head up and rushed to follow. Solomon would give her ten seconds to digest that hopefully life-changing truth and he’d follow as well. If he could somehow break through that wall of deception.
The other question begging and nagging for Solomon at this point was, if Master knew him… what was he up to? Did he put her in his woods so he’d find her? Was it all a set-up? Was she playing some game? There’s no way he’d send her here without some kind of plan if so. And yet she was too ignorant about too many things for him to know for sure.
Chapter Twelve
Solomon made his way on the porch where she perched on the steps, staring into the forest on her right.
Now to figure out what he’d said that had upset her. He leaned against the post on the left of her, debating on what to say.
“So you had this for her?”
“Had what for who?”
“Special… sexual… love pleasure stuff?”
Dread hit Solomon at realizing she was upset over the wrongest of wrong things. “Yes,” was the only answer he could think of.
“Pretty sure I’ve not had this before,” she muttered, crossing her arms. “Think I’d remember it.” She shrugged. “I don’t need it anyway. Like pets, it’s a distraction.”
“From what?” he couldn’t help from asking.
“From important things,” she said quietly.
“Like?”
“I’m good at giving sexual pleasure you know.”
His heart ached for her. “I’m sure you are, sweetheart.”
“Why do you call me that?”
“I’m sorry…”
“Why are you sorry?”
“I’m not, I just mean I don’t say it to be condescending. I just care about you.”
She was quiet before finally saying, “Like her?”
“No,” he said, probably too quickly. “I will not feel that way about another woman.”
“Why not?”
“Because… I don’t want to.”
“Oh,” she said lightly but it was anything but.
“There will be a man for you one day who will feel all those things for you.”
She snorted. “I don’t need a man to feel that way about me, Mr. Solomon. I was not designed for it. I don’t feel pleasure because I’m not supposed to. I’m not made to. I was born into this world for a purpose that didn’t include that and I accepted that a long time ago.”
“What were you born for?” he needed to know, more than he needed to disagree.
“To save people,” she said softly.
“Like… Jesus?” he chanced.
“In a way.”
“But didn’t he already do that?”
“Yes but what I’m doing isn’t the same thing. It’s like an extension of that.” Her tone was calm, firm, and frighteningly coherent.
Solomon sat next to her on the steps and she scooted way over. “I think of you like a friend,” he said, not wanting to insult her with sister for some reason. “I feel… like a friend should about you.”
“That’s nice,” she said lightly. “I’m really glad.”
But he heard it loud and clear, felt it even more. The buried pain in those lighthearted words. It made Solomon sick to be any part of her pain and disappointment. “I think for today’s therapy, you should have a little fun. Come on.” Solomon stood and held his hand out to her. She regarded it after a few seconds and stood without assistance, telling him she’d definitely been wounded.
“I’m ready,” she said, pushing hair behind her ears, not lifting her gaze to his. “But fun isn’t something I want or need.”
“Sure,” he said, managing to keep his disagreement from his tone. “Let me get my stuff and we’ll hit the trail.”
“The trail?”
“I want to show you around my woods. I think you’ll like it.”
She didn’t argue but there was no eager smile either. Hopefully that would change.
Solomon packed a lunch for them and some water, along with a sheet and pain meds just in case she started getting too stiff. They left out and thirty minutes later arrived at his first trap.
He paused and put a hand behind him, indicating silence with his other hand. They hadn’t gone very far but he’d gone extra slow for her despite her insistence that she could go much faster. He’d also kept their destination a secret to help build a little suspense.
Solomon pointed at the trap and leaned to whisper. “Welcome to the first leg of Solomon’s zoo. Last time I caught a mole in it. It’s at Miss Mary’s. She named it… Tyler, I think.”
The light in Chaos’s eyes made him smile as he tiptoed with her to the trap. At arriving, he found it empty and the bait gone. “Well I’ll be,” Solomon muttered, walking around the cage, shaking his head. “Must be one sly fox,” he muttered before winking at Chaos. “I’ma get him yet.”
“Or her,” she said with her first smile.
“Or her, you’re right.”
“Where’s the other one?”
“Follow me,” he said then paused. “Unless you want to take a break?”
“No.” She pushed him forward, making him laugh.
A few hundred yards down, he again stopped her and pointed ahead while leaning back. “I think there’s something in this one.”
She grabbed hold of his arm and peered around him. “What is it?”
“Let’s go see.”
At arriving at the cage, Solomon couldn’t have planned a better catch. “Well, I’ll be damned. You prayed for this?” he asked incredulous.
She shoved Solomon aside and hobbled to the cage, fa
lling on her knees. “It’s…” she turned to him, her face a mask of astonishment. “A-a-a-a”
“A baby possum?” he laughed and knelt next to her. “Would you look at that?” He glanced around. “Hope momma isn’t around here though. I usually set the baby’s free.”
“No!” she gasped. “I mean… can I just… have it for a little bit then we can set it free?”
Solomon sighed, pretending like he had to think about it.
“Please, please?” she begged like a child.
“I guess if you want it that badly.”
“Can we go back now? He might be hungry.”
“No!” Solomon cried. “I have one more thing to show you at least and I assure you that greedy possum is not hungry. I put enough food in there for an adult. It ate it all!”
She laughed, poking her finger near the cage. “He’s a growing boy,” she cooed. “Ouch!” she cried, jerking her finger back.
“I was just about to tell you to not put your finger in that cage!” Solomon said, removing his backpack.
She stood and held her finger then brought it to her mouth.
“God no!” he said, yanking it away. “It could have diseases.” After he got the doctorings, he stood and pulled her finger up to examine it.
She laughed a little. “The doctor is ever prepared.”
He was just happy to hear the light in her voice. “I have to be.” He quickly cleansed the area and put a Band-Aid on it. “There. No more sticking your finger in the cage.”
“Deal,” she said smiling at him.
The innocent joy in her bright eyes nearly stole his breath and his thoughts. He realized they were greenish brown. And he liked seeing her happy. She deserved that. What person didn’t?
He finally led her to the next and final destination. “Okay this is my most prized secret.”
“Ohhhh nice, I feel special.”
There was no getting around emotionally feeding her and he wouldn’t try to. “You are. Very much so.”
At coming to the small clearing, she gasped. “Oh my God,” she said at seeing his private swimming hole. “It’s like a paradise!”
“Yes, it is,” he said proudly.
“You fish here?”
“Noooo, I swim here, I don’t fish,” he laughed. “I should, I know, but I haven’t gotten that woodsy yet.”
She laughed. “Woodsy. Right now you’re still townsy?”
“More like city.”
“I’ve never been to a big city.”
She didn’t sound sorry and he was glad. “You’re not missing anything, trust me.”
“I do,” she said simply.
He grinned at her. “You swim?”
She shook her head a lot.
“No?”
“Don’t care for water, I’m not a fish.”
He laughed. “Well, I’m going for a swim,” he said, hoping to change her mind. A swim would do her mind and muscles a lot of good.
****
Chaos watched Solomon swim in the emerald paradise lagoon. She wasn’t entirely over the slap in the face he’d delivered her from earlier but she felt a little better. He certainly wasn’t making securing the sacrifice very easy and painless. For some odd reason, she was glad for that. Made him seem more special, more important.
She focused on the paradise he’d shared with her, reminding herself that he’d only done that because he felt sorry that he didn’t want to marry her. That was her fault for letting him see her silly wounded ego before she could hide it.
Definitely ego. What man had ever turned down anything from her? Not one. There weren’t a hundred but there were a lot. And all of them seemed at least aware that she was a prize, she was special.
Not Solomon. To him she was… some broken doll or just not the quality of human to match his Chantilly.
So why did her eyes devour his form, hungry for everything it couldn’t have? She was purely rebellious, always had been. Wanting things she shouldn’t or was told she couldn’t have or do. He’d kept his white t-shirt on and swam in his cut-off green cargo shorts.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come in?” he suddenly turned and called from the water several feet below her.
“No thank you.” She waved at him, suddenly wishing she wasn’t terrified of water. Not that she wanted to be swimming with him, but she really should be. Or needed to be. How else was she going to make a connection with him? Like it or not, a connection had to be made. What was she thinking? How was she supposed to make that connection when she’d not been prepared?
Chaos really needed to talk to Master and tell him she’d not been properly prepared and find out how to proceed.
Chapter Thirteen
So he required emotional connections with the women he had sexual pleasure with. And he was not having that with her. That left only one option. To do what she was skilled in, what she’d been trained to do. She didn’t need to feel pleasure to at least get him into the fold. And there were plenty of other ways to do that besides the sex part.
As promised, he didn’t touch her that day during any of his so called therapy. More like torture. Again, it was her rebellion. Wanting that which she was told she could not have, pure and simple. But how dare he? How dare he not want her in the way he did with women? Or with that woman? He said all the right things, did all the things that made her think he would and yet… he’ll never want that with another woman? She clenched her eyes in the shower, grasping for the anger that came with that stupid, silly pain.
For the hundredth time, she wished to talk to Master, to know how to proceed with this Solomon Gorge. Pain returned to clamp down on her chest and she grit her teeth, embracing it. Pain was power too. She was an expert at harnessing that. And Solomon had given her a new kind to harness in one neat little conversation. But she was also in awe of his powers. She’d been taught personally all about them, hadn’t she? He couldn’t teach her about this love but he taught her so well about this new pain.
She would leave to go see Master, plain and simple. She had to. But before she left, she had to try once, test her own skills and training on Solomon. She knew he’d probably fight it at first so she would make it easy for him. Until he learned that he liked it. That he had to have it, even. From her and no other.
Getting out of the shower, she dressed in the nightgown he’d gotten her then put the two strips of ace-bandages in her pocket. He’d showered first and she’d taken her time, hoping he’d get sleepy. The sleepier the better.
Before climbing in the bed, she checked on the baby possum, marveling again that it was right there in real life. Seeing it in that cage earlier had been beyond miraculous to her. It was not her first answered prayer, but she’d not expected that one to be answered. Not after all the things she’d messed up. “Goodnight Possum,” she whispered to it, wishing he was friendlier. Maybe he would come around when he saw she was nice and always brought him good things.
She petted the dog before climbing in the bed and told him goodnight too but in her mind, not wanting Solomon to think she was emotionally attached for some reason.
Chaos climbed in the bed and lay there for a good while.
“I’m sorry, Chaos,” Solomon whispered after a long while.
She ignored the twist in her stomach at his soft words, at the unusual and foreign havoc they always seemed to cause. She chose not to answer, she didn’t have anything to say. She lay awake several hours, her heart hammering the longer she waited, carefully going over the steps in her mind. She’d never done anything like this before. How hard could it be? She knew plenty about restraining that was for sure, she’d just never been on the other side of the restraint. But she knew survival, she knew knots, she knew maneuvers. Master had taught her many things. He said it was always good to be prepared for the enemy in whatever form it might take.
When she couldn’t stand to wait any longer, she pretended to have a nightmare. At his immediate awakening she latched her arms around his neck and welcomed t
he comfort of his embrace. Oddly it wasn’t hard to mimic the symptoms of trauma, her body and mind seemed to genuinely perform as though they too believed her.
Chaos relaxed and he did as he normally would after a long while—turned so his back faced her. That told her he didn’t notice she’d slipped the first ace-bandage around his arm. She’d done it when she was frantically climbing in his embrace. About an hour later when he was breathing deeply, she carefully moved the other bandage in place around his other upper arm. When she got the special knot ready, she yanked quickly with all her might, pulling his arms back tightly.
Waking immediately, he flipped on his back and Chaos knelt next to him, watching him struggle. “What’s going on?” he gasped, yanking a few times and looking around disoriented.
“You’ll only tighten it the more you move.”
Breathing hard, he stared at her in the shadowy light cast from the bathroom. “What… are you doing, Chaos?” Even though his voice was low and calm, she heard the tremor of concern in it.
“Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you,” she assured.
He grunted and Chaos quickly straddled his waist when he made attempts to roll off the bed.
“I do prefer you on the bed for this,” she said, pinning him down with her bottom.
“I’ll throw you off Chaos, you don’t want to do this, I’ll fight you, I swear.”
“How about you don’t fight me?”
“What are you doing?”
“Showing you.”
“Showing me what,” he demanded.
“How good I am at giving pleasure.”
He shook his head. “No,” he whispered. “Don’t do that, please.”
“Why not?” She really did want to know.
“It’s not right.”
“You think I’m beautiful, you care for me, I think it’s as right as it’ll ever get for me.”
****
Panic gripped Solomon as he warred with his muscle’s instincts to throw her off. He could fight, no problem, but would she make him hurt her? He tried logic first. “I’m begging you don’t do this. This is so very wrong.” He clenched his eyes shut when she removed the gown. “Put your fucking clothes on, Chaos,” he yelled, resorting to verbal force.