All the wedding guests looked on with amusement. I looked at Jenny and mouthed, “Sorry.” As I turned to head back toward the cottage, I stopped in front of Dustin and Audrey, “Come on, the screw-happy drummer? So cliché, both of you. Just leave.” They turned and headed for their cars without a word.
I went to cottage and finally got that sweater and then I exchanged my heels for some Converse, grabbed a flashlight, and headed back out. The pond was only about the size of a football field and there was an easy-to-navigate footpath around the entire thing. I walked around to the other side where I found Will sitting in the boat on the shore, taking continuous swigs of whiskey.
“Will?” I said in a low voice.
“Don’t fucking come near me, Mia. I swear to God I will row myself into the middle of that Goddamn pond and stay there till next year.”
I stood still and spoke calmly. “I walked into the room and thought you and Audrey were having sex. I couldn’t see who it was behind the screen. I tried to sneak back out and that’s when I ran into you. I was confused.”
“Go away, Mia.”
I knew Will believed me because he knew me, but he was hurting and I wished I could comfort him. I looked back at the wedding where I could see the party winding down and people leaving. Seeing the lights from a place so dark was enchanting, but it made me sad that two people who were supposed to care about him had ruined such a beautiful place for Will. I went back to the wedding where everyone was cleaning up. I worried about Will, but he was surprisingly responsible for someone who could act so erratically. I knew he wouldn’t do anything stupid.
We sent Jenny and Tyler off in a fancy old car and then it was just Jenny’s parents and me. I said goodnight to them and showered and then crawled into bed wearing my underwear and Clash T-shirt. I was asleep within minutes.
Lying on my side, I started awake and glanced at the clock. It was five thirty a.m. and I had my typical reaction. Whenever I drink or stay up late, it never fails, I always wake up way too early and then I get anxiety over the fact that I didn’t get enough sleep, which prevents be from going back to sleep. It’s a vicious cycle and it’s annoying as hell. My mind also wandered to Will; it was getting light out, so it was that coldest time in the morning before the sun is up. I turned over and gasped when I found him next to me, fully clothed in his suit and shoes, lying on top of the quilt and sound asleep. He smelled like a whiskey distillery but looked like a pallid child. My heart ached for him. I crawled out of bed, careful not to make any noise. I untied his laces and gently pulled his shoes and socks off. He moaned and mumbled something in his sleep. I lifted his loosened tie over his head and then I reached for his belt. The moment I touched it, he grabbed my wrist and held it. He looked at me through squinted eyes. “I got it,” he murmured. “Come back to bed.”
He stood up and stripped down to his boxers and then slid back into bed, curling behind me and pulling me tightly into his chest. He slid his hand under my shirt and clutched my side. His long fingers easily wrapped around me and came to rest centimeters below my breast. When he hitched his long leg over me, I was completely cocooned by him and it felt like heaven.
“Are you okay?” I said quietly.
“I am now.” There was a long pause and then I felt him kiss my hair before whispering, “It hurt more when I thought it was you.” I smiled, perfectly tranquil, and then within minutes we were both asleep again.
When I woke up I was lying on my back, Will was on his side curled up next to me, his body dovetailed with mine and his head resting on my stomach. I was mindlessly running my hands through his hair when I realized how incredibly intimate our positions were. He stirred sleepily and then his hands moved to my hips where he twisted his fingers in the waistband of my underwear. When I felt him hard against me, I jerked away, sat up, and threw my legs over the side of the bed. He rolled over away from me and mumbled, “Sorry, baby.” His voice was strained and raspy.
Leaning in, I kissed his shoulder and whispered, “Get some sleep.”
Don’t complicate things! I chanted that line over and over in my head as I gaped at Will’s arms and hands and imagined them everywhere, all over me.
I threw on some sweats and headed for the tiny cottage kitchen to start coffee when I found a note from Jenny’s parents saying that they’d headed back to Jersey. They’d left the Jeep and directions to their house where I could drop it off. While I made coffee and cleaned up the cottage, I heard Will get into the shower. He came out dressed in the only clothes he had—his gray suit pants and the white dress shirt, the tails tucked in and the top buttons open and sleeves rolled up on his forearms. If it weren’t for his sparkling new pair of black Converse, his style might have resembled the banker’s; he even had a typical suit belt on and no wallet chain. He ran his hand through his wet hair as he watched me survey his appearance.
“Weird, huh?”
“Kind of, but I like it. Coffee?”
“Please. Thank you.” I handed him a mug. As he sipped his coffee, I noticed he seemed distant, distracted. “I need to get my stuff from the place Audrey and I were staying.” There was vague sadness in his tone.
“Of course. I can take you there. Let me just straighten up and jump in the shower and then we’ll go.” He nodded.
After my shower, I threw on a sundress and flip-flops and decided to let my hair air-dry. Will and I put all the windows down on the Jeep so we could enjoy the warm September air. He looked at me and stuck his hand out for the keys.
“Do you know how to drive?”
“Of course. You’re in luck, I have a commercial driver’s license. I used to drive a school bus in Detroit,” he said with a beaming smile.
I laughed at the image of Will driving a bus. “You’re kidding me. I can’t see you driving a school bus. When?”
“About five years ago, right before I moved out here. I love kids; I had so much fun. I had a lot of odd jobs in Detroit.” After Will lifted Jackson into the back seat, I handed him the keys.
“Okay, I trust you.”
As we got on the road, I looked over at him. He was wearing his black Wayfarer sunglasses and bobbing his head to the Cars, playing on the radio. Like everything else he did, he was a completely self-assured driver.
“So what other kind of odd jobs did you have in Detroit?”
He laughed to himself. “The first job I ever had was in a newly remodeled mall when I was sixteen. They had a lot of publicity and promotional garbage going on because of the new stores, so I got paid to walk around dressed as a giant soccer ball and wave to all the kids and stuff like that.” I was stifling a giggle. “There was a football and a baseball and a couple of other characters. People from my high school used to go and push us over. The costumes were so bulky that it was practically impossible to get back on your feet without help, so I would just lay there flailing around, going, Come on, guys, help me out.” I was laughing hysterically at that point. Will was never too proud and I loved it. He glanced over at me and started laughing too. “What about you? What kind of jobs did you have in Ann Arbor?”
“I never really worked before Kell’s; my parents and grandparents supported me through college. Before my dad died, I was studying for the MSAT to go to grad school, so I gave piano lessons, but that was it.” He nodded. “Why didn’t you go to college, Will?”
“I don’t know; it just wasn’t in the cards. My brother and some of my sisters did, but it would have been tough on my parents. I audited a ton of classes at Adrian College, so I kind of got a free education.”
“What kind of classes?”
“Music, sound mixing, media technology, and a few others along those lines.”
“That’s cool. I wondered how you knew so much about that stuff.”
Will turned up the radio and accelerated as I leaned back and absorbed the sun on my face. He smiled warmly at me and for a few minutes I think we were both completely content.
We pulled up to a beautiful, bright yellow colo
nial house; the sign said Merry Way Inn. It was charming and cheery, but the look on Will’s face was anything but. He looked like he was going to be sick.
“Do you want me to go in and get your stuff?” I asked gently.
“No, I should go…. Fuck Spoon Guy and American Pie,” he said.
“Yeah, totally. You’re better off.”
“I guess. Will you come with me, though?”
“Of course.”
We walked in through the front door and up a small staircase. A woman who I assume was the innkeeper eyed Will, but he smiled and waved as if it were usual business. When we got to the room, he ran his hands through his hair nervously before knocking. There was no answer. He fished a key from his pocket, unlocked the door, and walked in. The room was large and decorated in various floral patterns. The comforter and pillows on the king-size bed were strewn about. I thought I heard Will dry heave before he walked to the window to gaze out.
“There they are. Sunbathing on my dime… fucking assholes,” he said in a low voice. I stood behind him and looked out the window to where Audrey and Dustin were lying by the pool, sharing a chaise lounge. I wrapped my arms around him from behind and gave him a squeeze. He brought my hand to his mouth and kissed it. Turning, he picked up his bag and headed for the door, never letting go of my hand. We held hands all the way to the Jeep. As we headed back to the city, I closed my eyes and dozed off to the sound of the wind in my hair.
I didn’t wake up until Will was halfway up the stairs to our apartment with me in his arms. I hooked my arm around his neck and let him carry me all the way up. He looked down at me and smiled. “Hi, sleepyhead. You were out for the count.”
“Yeah, I was exhausted.”
He set me down on the landing and opened the door. “I’ll take the Jeep to Jenny’s parents’. Go ahead, go to bed. I’ll see you in the morning,” he said and then waited for me to respond. I hesitated a moment and thought it would have felt perfectly normal to reach up and kiss him, but I knew that would be blurring the lines, so I didn’t.
“Okay, thank you. Will, you’re the best.” He winked at me and then trotted down the stairs.
The next morning when I heard Will in the shower, I got up and headed to the kitchen. I poured myself a cup of coffee and leaned against the counter while I flipped through The New Yorker. I flinched when he wrapped his arms around me from behind.
“Easy, jumpy cat; just wanted say good morning.” And then he kissed me behind the ear.
“Morning. Why are you up so early?”
He walked over and poured himself a cup of coffee. “I have a meeting with Frank.”
I turned around and hopped up on the counter in my usual sweats and T-shirt. Will was wearing nothing but a towel. It hung low, showing off the cut lines of his lower abdomen. I gaped at him until I noticed he was watching me. He tilted his head to the side and smirked. “Hi, friend,” he said in a low voice.
I shook my head and took a deep breath through my nose. “Okay, so are you going to fill me in on what Frank says?”
“Absolutely. I have work the next five days, but let’s make dinner here on Saturday night and then we can jam a little. What do you think?”
“Yes, let’s do that.” He walked over and stood between my legs, running his hands up my thighs. I took a deep breath and placed my hands over his. “I have to get in the shower,” I whispered.
“How ‘bout a bath?” he said, arching his eyebrows.
I smiled shyly and shook my head.
“Have a good day then. I’ll see you later.” And then he made kissy lips, so I leaned in and gave him a peck.
“You too.”
He lifted me off the counter and then smacked my butt as I walked away. I huffed and pretended it annoyed me while I tried unsuccessfully to hide the permanent grin on my face.
Wednesday afternoon Jenny called me drunk from her honeymoon in Cozumel, wanting to know what had happened to Will after the wedding, so I filled her in on the details.
“What? You’re kidding me? For Dustin? What the hell was that girl thinking? Well at least the door is open for you to jump his bones.” Her voice was slurred.
“There will be no bone-jumping, Jenny. We’re friends and I’m really starting to feel close to him. I want it this way… for a long time.”
“Okay girl, whatever you say. Tyler and I are workin’ on babies over here, so you better put on your auntie pants,” she said, giggling. I could hear Tyler in the background telling her to hang up.
“I love you guys. Have fun!”
On Saturday when I got home from Kell’s, Will was already cooking. He was making my favorite pasta dish. I noticed there was wine on the counter and one of my father’s Nick Drake albums was playing softly in the background. We sat at the table and ate while we talked about our week; being with him that way felt like home. Will always had a handful of interesting bar stories to share. I told him about Jenny and Tyler trying for a baby and that led into an unexpected conversation.
“That’s awesome—they love each other,” he said and it seemed that simple to him, just like it was that simple to Jenny and Tyler.
“Well, they’ve only been together for a few months; they haven’t even lived together,” I argued.
“Listen, my sister was married for ten years before she and her husband decided to have a kid. They were divorced three months after the baby was born. You never know—it’s a crapshoot, a leap of faith.”
“No such thing,” I said with a wry smile.
“How can you say that? You can’t predict how others will behave in certain situations.”
“Cause and effect. The decisions we make for ourselves have the most impact on where we end up in the future. Your sister should have seen the signs, or maybe she did and that’s why she waited ten years to have a kid. It’s not a crapshoot, the writing’s on the wall long before we take that so-called leap of faith.”
“The problem with that theory is that you are assuming everyone is a perfect judge of character. The leap of faith is giving it a chance and not projecting your own crap on someone else because you’re afraid of failing.” It was the first time Will had ever really talked seriously to me about life and even though we were talking about other people, I knew he was referring to me.
“Well, what about you? Why haven’t you signed a deal yet?” I said, arching my eyebrows.
“I’m glad you brought that up. I’m scheduled to go into the studio to cut the demo next week. Can you make it in there on Thursday to lay down that piano track we worked on?”
“Yes, definitely,” I said. “Forward progress, Will… keep making it.”
He narrowed his eyes and cocked his head to the side. I thought for a second that I’d offended him and then he said, “I have a show tomorrow night at Dropzone; do you want to come and play?” He looked hopeful but poised for rejection. I waited twenty seconds before answering.
“Okay,” I said in a low voice.
“Really?” He stood up from the table, grabbed my face with both hands, and planted a hard, close-mouthed kiss on my lips.
“Will!” I protested.
“Lighten up, Mia. Come on, let’s practice.”
We played music into the wee hours of the morning, eventually narrowing down our set list for the show. Before heading to bed, I decided to take a shower. Through the frosted shower curtain I watched Will walk into the bathroom, brush his teeth, and then turn and lean against the counter. He crossed his feet and arms and put his head down into Will’s standard I’m being respectful posture.
“Hey… do you need me to wash your hair or your back or anything?” I could hear mischief in his voice.
“Nope,” I said, shutting off the water. I wrapped myself in a towel, flung the curtain open, and stepped out. I paused and turned as I walked out the door. Grabbing his face in my hand, I leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek.
“Thanks for asking, though. Night, buddy.”
“Night, sweet thing.??
?
The show at Dropzone was a success and even though we were performing under the name Bokononism, Will’s fans were on to him, so we had a good turnout. Because of all the solo shows, he had perfected the skill of live looping. It was actually quite remarkable. He would have a few instruments along with a recording device that he could control with foot pedals. He’d play a guitar riff or pluck the violin and record it live onstage to play in a loop while he was strumming another guitar and singing. Because it requires so much coordination and instrumental expertise, the process really wowed the audience. His gifts were incontestable when he was performing.
The Dropzone had an old grand piano with clunky keys and a rattling string reverberation that gave the sound a rich character. Will introduced me as his little sister, which threw me for a loop, but I went with it. It reminded me of the way Willie Nelson always introduces his piano-playing sister. I thought about Willie’s song “Angel Flying Too Close to the Ground” as I watched Will strumming his guitar and singing with his eyes closed and his head tilted to the heavens. I thought that song could have been written for him.
After the show, we were swarmed by people asking when he was going to release an album. His only response was soon. I was approached by a good-looking guy named Mark who wanted to buy me a drink. Will must have overheard because he came up from behind and wrapped his arms around me. He bent down and whispered, “We gotta go,” and then placed a lingering kiss over my ear. Mark looked at me, somewhat disgusted. I had gotten used to Will touching me that way, so I ignored him. I looked at Mark and thought briefly that I might take him up on the offer just to spite Will for being the over-protective roommate.
“You guys aren’t really brother and sister, are you?” Mark asked with a smile.
“Yeah, we are,” Will said quickly and then smacked me on the ass. “Let’s hit it, sis.”