Senneth pushed herself upright and then came to her feet. “If you want, I can make Justin leave the room right now, so you can think things through without him nearby.” She smiled. “I’m sure he’s a powerful distraction.”
“I’m not leaving,” Justin said immediately. “And you’re not big enough to throw me out.”
“I’ll get Tayse, if you don’t behave,” she said, gently teasing. “He’s certainly big enough. Or Donnal will come in here, shaped like a bear, and drag you from the room.” She grew quickly serious. “Give the girl time to think, Justin. Don’t pressure her into any decision she will later regret.”
“I won’t. I just want to talk to her.”
Senneth looked at Ellynor, a question in her gray eyes. Ellynor nodded. “Let him stay. But—thank you. Thank you so much. I can’t believe—you’re a stranger to me—I can’t believe that you would go to such trouble to make me happy—”
“I did it for Justin, at the time,” Senneth replied softly. “I love him, too. But now that I know you, I can only say I’m glad for your sake as well.” She leaned down and, unexpectedly, kissed Ellynor on the cheek. Her mouth left a warm imprint behind. “Be kind to each other,” she said, and left the room.
Ellynor and Justin sat in silence for a few moments, though she could feel him forcibly restraining his eager questions. She was still on his lap, still with his arms around her waist, but she sat bolt upright, tense, her mind barraged with darting thoughts. Bahta-lo! She had only known two other women with that designation. One had left the Lirrens and gone to live in Gillengaria. The other was a strange, solitary, but peculiarly gifted old woman who had the knack of appearing at whatever house was in most dire need of a healer. If a fever had swept through a whole family, she could be found on the doorstep the next day. If there was a feud between sebahta, and the wounded lay dying in the fields, she would suddenly be seen kneeling beside first one fallen body, then another. She was one of Maara’s daughters; everyone knew that. It was said she could cure anyone, as long as she arrived before the patient had drawn his last breath.
She is probably a mystic, too, Ellynor realized suddenly. No doubt all the most gifted healers in the sebahta are.
That was a comforting thought—that if she accepted the role of bahta-lo, she would only be answering to the call of magic in her blood. Doing what any mystic might be expected to do.
But to leave the sebahta-ris behind—! To follow Justin to Ghosenhall, to live among strangers, to give up the daily and seasonal pleasures of her familiar life and learn new rituals, new feasts, new customs. Her heart grew fragile at the very thought; again, it was hard to catch her breath. They were her family and she missed them so much already. . . .
But you have been glad to be gone from them, a small voice inside her head reminded her. You have been delighted to walk the streets of Neft unaccompanied. And you have been fascinated by the prayers and songs and routines at the convent. If you had not grown afraid, you would be happy at the convent even now. Happier still in Neft, even if you had never met Justin. You have always longed to see the world across the Lireth Mountains. Now is your chance.
Your chance to see that world—and your chance to have Justin in your life forever.
He clearly couldn’t stand it any longer. He pulled her closer and kissed the underside of her jaw, since her head was still turned away from him. “What are you thinking?” he whispered. “Am I in your thoughts?”
She shifted on his legs, put her arms around his neck, rested her cheek against his. She could still feel the heat of Senneth’s kiss, and now it lay between them, like a seal or a brand. “You are always in my thoughts,” she whispered back. “Since the day I met you. You have taken up residence at the back of my mind, and you share every day with me, whether I see you or not. I have not believed there was any course that would let me live my life alongside you. I have not been able to see my way clear to happiness. Now a way is opened, and I know I will take it, but you have to give me a little time to prepare myself. To inhale a deep breath as I take that first step through the woods on a path I never expected to find. Maybe through a different forest altogether. I am happy, but I am a little afraid.”
“I love you,” he said. As if it was the only answer.
Maybe it was. She breathed the words against his skin. “I love you, too.”
THEY talked and schemed and whispered until, suddenly, all the strength drained from Ellynor’s body. She nearly fainted against Justin’s chest. “Are you sick? Should I call someone?” he demanded fearfully, rising and carrying her to the bed.
“No—just tired.” So tired. Exhausted by fear and hope and happiness. When she closed her eyes, she felt the room whirl about her, even after Justin had laid her carefully on the mattress.
“I’m getting Senneth,” he said.
“Don’t worry,” was her drowsy response. “I’ll be fine.”
She didn’t even hear him leave the room. She was asleep before the door opened and shut.
When she woke, the square of sunlight admitted by the window had shifted from the floor to the wall. Several hours must have passed; it was late afternoon or almost night. Ellynor stirred on the bed, feeling remarkably well, then opened her eyes and sat up.
It wasn’t a surprise to glance over and find someone waiting in the chair beside the bed. The surprise was the person who occupied it. Not Senneth or Justin, but the golden-haired woman called Kirra.
The beautiful golden-haired woman.
Ellynor hastily pushed herself to a more upright position and tried to strangle her quick surge of jealousy. Justin was not promising to cross mountains and fight off defenders on Kirra’s behalf. It was Ellynor he loved, and she believed that absolutely. Still, this woman had come running across half of Gillengaria at the news that Justin was injured. She had sat beside him, finishing the job of healing that Ellynor had only started. She must care about him a little bit. And any man with eyes in his head would certainly feel something for her.
Jealousy didn’t seem to be on Kirra’s mind, though, for her smile was quite friendly. “You’re awake!” the other woman exclaimed, bending forward. “How do you feel? Justin came racing downstairs to find me, telling me you’d fainted. I think you must be weaker than you realize.”
“I’m exhausted,” Ellynor admitted. “Though I feel better now that I’ve rested.”
A faint look of satisfaction crossed the perfect features. “And now that you’ve had a touch of magic,” Kirra replied.
“I’m not like Senneth! I can do a little healing without making someone feel like her skin is on fire. Much more subtle, don’t you think?”
Ellynor forced a smile. “Indeed. Thank you so much.”
“But I have to say I envy your power,” Kirra went on heedlessly. “When you’re stronger, maybe you can explain what you do. I’m only guessing, but it seemed like you were actually entwining yourself with Justin. Making yourselves almost one body. Could I learn to do that?”
Ellynor was at a loss. “I don’t know. I don’t think—I mean, nobody ever showed me. It was just something I knew how to do.” She shrugged.
“Yes, and I didn’t realize magic could be taught, either, until Senneth and some of my other tutors came along,” Kirra replied. “And Cammon’s learning all sorts of tricks from mystics in the city. Think about what you do and then see if you can describe it. I’ll bet you can tell me enough to help me figure it out.”
That sounded like they were going to be spending lots of time together, sharing secrets, close as sisters. Ellynor couldn’t imagine it. “I’ll try,” she said politely. “Will you be returning to Ghosenhall with everyone else?” She didn’t say “with us,” because she wasn’t sure yet of her own destination. Justin wanted Ellynor to accompany the others back to the royal city. She wanted him to come with her to the Lirrens first. He was willing, but needed to clear his schedule with Tayse first.
Kirra leaned back in the chair, wholly at ease. She seemed like
the kind of woman who was never uncomfortable. “I haven’t decided yet,” she said. “My sister might need me back in Danalustrous—she’s planning a wedding—but it’s been a few weeks since I’ve seen the king. Senneth says I should return to Ghosenhall just for courtesy’s sake.”
Ellynor couldn’t think of anything to say in answer to that, so she just offered another polite smile. Kirra tilted her head to one side and studied her, making no attempt to be surreptitious about it.
“You’re not at all what I would have expected,” Kirra said abruptly. “If I were fashioning a woman designed to appeal to Justin? It never would have been you.”
That was so rude that Ellynor merely opened her mouth and stared back.
“Why is it that all the big men always fall for the dainty girls?” the mystic added, sounding aggrieved. “The taller the man, the tinier the woman he wants. Have you ever noticed that?”
“Not really,” Ellynor said in a choked voice.
“I just—I would have thought Justin would have chosen someone more like Senneth. Or even more like me.”
Ellynor sat up even straighter on the bed. “I’m sorry if you think I’ve stolen him away from you,” she said stiffly. “You might—perhaps—I suppose the two of you were in love at some point. But I—”
“In love? With Justin?” Kirra exclaimed, her incredulity so genuine that it was impossible to doubt her. “Gods, no. We can’t stand each other.”
Just like that, Ellynor’s heart grew light and joyful. Still. “That can’t be true,” she said. “You came here on his behalf. You must have a relationship of some sort.”
“He’s my brother,” Kirra replied.
Ellynor merely looked at her.
Kirra smiled and spread her hands. “He’s my brother. He takes me for granted. He teases me. He scolds me when he thinks I’ve done something stupid. But he would kill anyone who tried to hurt me—if I didn’t kill that person first,” she added scrupulously. “I never had a brother before, and sometimes I don’t like it. But now I’m stuck with him and he’s stuck with me. If he’s anything like the rest of my family, it means he’s with me for the rest of my life.”
Ellynor was nodding, slowly, finally comprehending, finally believing. “I have two brothers, and you have described it exactly,” she said. “I would not want to try to imagine my life without them.”
Kirra laughed. “Is that why you don’t like me? Because you’re jealous?”
“I don’t dislike you,” Ellynor said quickly.
“Because there are a lot of reasons people dislike me, and some of them are valid, but you can’t hate me over Justin,” Kirra said. She sounded remarkably cheerful. Ellynor thought she probably always did. “You’ll have to find something better than that.”
“I’d rather find a reason to be friends,” Ellynor said.
“I was joking,” Kirra said. “Of course we’ll be friends. All of us. You’ll never have a peaceful moment again in your life.”
CHAPTER 34
THAT night, Ellynor joined Justin’s friends and Faeber’s family for a lively dinner in the pleasantly appointed dining room on the ground floor. It was odd and a little overwhelming to be among so many strangers at once, and for most of the meal she made herself quiet and small in the safe space between Justin and Senneth. But she listened closely and watched carefully, drawing quick conclusions about the others at the table.
Faeber and his two sons she already knew to some extent, and trusted; she was glad to see that in this setting they still seemed to be thoughtful and likable men. Marney was capable and competent, serving excellent food with a minimum of fuss, and seeming not at all put out to have a houseful of people to care for.
Tayse was rather frightening, a large man with dark hair and a somber expression. He didn’t talk much, but when he did, everyone, even the flighty Kirra, listened to what he had to say. It was clear that Justin respected the other Rider above anyone else in the room. Most of his comments, and all of his questions, were directed at Tayse. Ellynor knew only the tiniest bit about their history, which Justin had sketched for her this afternoon. She hoped, for Justin’s sake, that the big man was kinder than he looked.
She liked Cammon immediately, but Justin had told her she would. She had the sense that she would be entirely comfortable around the taciturn and unassuming Donnal.
If she were to spend time with these people. If she really were to upend her life and follow Justin back into his.
The dinner talk was mostly about people she didn’t know— great lords, local bullies, missing friends. After a while, Ellynor gave up on trying to follow the sense of the words, and instead concentrated on the bonds between individuals. Kirra was the bright light, the laughing jester who had them all smiling. She and Justin argued three separate times before the meal was over, but Donnal watched her the entire time with a look of amusement and adoration. Cammon gave everyone his close attention, his gaze flicking from speaker to speaker in turn, seeming to absorb and ponder everything the others said. Tayse was the one they all looked to when the topic turned to strategy or plotting for the future. But Senneth was the heart of this small group, Ellynor decided, the sun they all revolved around. They might have separate relationships with each other, but she was the one they all loved.
Halfway through the meal, Justin set down his fork as if he’d just remembered something. “Senneth! I never asked! What did the king say when you showed up at Ghosenhall with the marlady?”
Senneth laughed. “Oh, we didn’t go to Ghosenhall. I thought it might be a little too inconvenient for Baryn to have to explain why he was giving Sabina sanctuary. So I took her to Brassen Court instead.”
Justin looked amused. “So that Kiernan could try to make up an explanation instead?”
“Because I don’t care if Kiernan’s inconvenienced,” she said dryly. “Anyway, I thought she would be safe there.”
“She was a strange little thing,” Justin commented. “So afraid. But trying so hard to be brave.”
“I never liked her much before,” Senneth admitted. “But apparently the day she decided to escape from Lumanen Convent was the day a courageous new Sabina Gisseltess was born—and she has a certain fragile charm, I’ll admit.”
Ellynor glanced between them. “Sabina Gisseltess? The wife of the Lestra’s brother?”
Justin nodded. “Yes, she came to Neft one night in secret. Apparently she’d been staying at the convent with her husband and had some fear he was going to kill her, so she managed to escape one afternoon. I don’t know how she got past the gates.”
“I helped her,” Ellynor said, her voice almost a whisper. “Small woman—blond—right? She was just standing there, looking so lost, and I told her she could walk outside with the rest of us—and she did. Then she disappeared into the forest, and there was such a commotion at the convent when they realized she was gone! I wondered what happened to her. And then, lately, well—everything else has made it slip my mind.”
Kirra was laughing. “So you set the marlady free? And Justin kept her safe? You two have a strange sort of magic, don’t you? You’re connected even when you don’t realize you are.”
“This seems more like coincidence than magic,” Tayse said.
Kirra pointed a finger at him. “You only say that because you don’t understand magic.”
It wasn’t until Marney cut and served four pies for dessert that Ellynor realized Faeber’s wife had done all the work of preparing the meal. Surely in a house this size, with a man of Faeber’s rank, there were normally servants. As Marney put a wedge of pastry before her, Ellynor glanced up.