Belphegor rapped his sharply pointed nail on the blackboard. 'And so you see, children, that we demons can sow discord among men by seducing them with riches. Now,' he continued in his earache inducingly-hoarse voice, 'who can tell me a good way in which we might do this?'
The dozen or so young demons sitting in a semi-circle on the floor at his feet looked nervously up at him. Some even had baby-clawed hands pressed to mouths that would gibber, and more than a few were fiddling with their tails. But none were fiddling quite as nervously as our little demon. His fingers were a blur, and his teeth could still be heard chattering even through his hand.
A demon at the back raised his hand.
'Yes, Abaddon?'
'We?we might whisper to them that if they get rich, they could give more to the poor.'
'What!' shrieked the monstrous Belphegor, giving his own beard a violent tug. 'You foolish runt! You imbecile! Go and stand facing that wall!'
Poor Abaddon's hocks could be heard knocking together as he fearfully crept over to the wall. 'Keep your trap shut, Abaddon, shut!' he gibbered to himself.
Little Murmur was now so afraid of saying anything that he promptly stuffed his fingers into his mouth.
With smoke and steam pouring from his ears, Belphegor pointed at a demon in the front row. 'What about you, Bifrons?'
'We might suggest an invention to them,' he squeaked fearfully.
'Good. What sort of invention might it be?'
Little Murmur had let out a sigh of relief at hearing someone answer correctly. But Belphegor suddenly turned his flickering green eyes squarely onto Murmur as he asked this latest question.
'Ahrm?ahrm?eh?' stammered the little demon. 'Perhaps one that?that does demons' work for them?'
'What!' shrieked the monstrous Belphegor a second time. 'You slothful runt! You imbecile! You angel-faced, lazy, useless dove! Only humans are lazy, fool! How many times do we teachers need to tell you?'
Cringing and shaking so violently that his teeth could be heard knocking together, the little demon could only nod. He kept his baby-clawed hand pressed over his mouth so no big demon-inciting words could escape.
But the monstrous Belphegor's flaming green eyes remained fixed on his thickest pupil, and the smoke pouring forth from his ears pointed to a burning fuse that might reach its end any moment. 'Well?' he bellowed, in a voice akin to the roar of a hundred raging bulls. 'Answer the question, runt!'
Now with his fingers stuffed back into his mouth, the juddering Murmur went 'mm ma o ah' and looked sidewise at the young demon beside him.
The heinous Belphegor let out a snort so violent that its wind blasted little Murmur's curly black hair backwards. 'You think to pass the question over to him, do you?'
Sucking on his fingers, the little demon nodded eagerly and elbowed his nearest neighbour in the ribs.
The horrific Belphegor inhaled a great gust of air in readiness for outrage. But before it could be unleashed upon the head of the trembling Murmur, the elbowed demon spoke up. 'What if-if we helped man invent a-a machine that made them rich without d-doing any work?'
The drafty trap clanged shut. The glowing, viperous eyes blinked slowly twice, then Belphegor turned them upon the young demon. 'Igna, that is well said.' The deep, growling voice sounded stunned at hearing a somewhat intelligent suggestion.
'The-the machine would make the man who has it a lot of money, but produce nothing useful for humankind,' added the young demon, in an uncertain whimper.
Nodding thoughtfully to himself, the monstrous Belphegor stomped back to the blackboard, all the while stroking his long beard. 'Very good, Igna? Such things are indeed a demonic way to make men greedy and lazy? Now,' he bellowed, suddenly turning to face the nervous class, 'why are the rest of you runts not trying as hard as him, eh? Why are you all so stupid and lazy?'
Without exception, the seated demon class started in fright. 'Silence, Murmur, silence?' gibbered the little demon to himself, cringing under the glowing green eyes burning down at him and his fellows.
'I think it is time I gave you weaklings a little real work!' bellowed Belphegor, bringing his cane down on a nearby desk with such force that it broke in two. 'There will be no more of this airy-fairy, softy-wafty junior school nonsense here! No; here we turn useless runts into proper mean, God-mocking demons!'
Having always thought the junior grades at Hell's Gate School an unendurable labour camp of a place, this announcement was not exactly music to Murmur's only-slightly-pointy ears. He could hardly comprehend how more work could be demanded than that already expected.
'You runts are going to harden up and stop being a gaggle of useless angels!' continued Belphegor, throwing the two pieces of broken cane over his shoulder. 'It's time to grow a decent pair of ears!'
Murmur held up a shaking little hand. 'I?I don't think we-we w-will be able to grow one in t-two weeks, O great Belphegor,' faltered the little demon. 'A demon ear grows awfully slowly?'
'What!' shrieked the monstrous demon. 'Don't you question me, angel-ears!'
Murmur did not believe the great Belphegor. But before he could say anything, he stuffed his fingers into his mouth.
'Come here, runt!'
There could be little hope that Belphegor's great finger was pointing at any other demon besides Murmur, but he still refused to believe it.
'Here, now!'
The great finger pointed directly at the ground before the big blackboard.
Never had a demon got to his hooves more slowly and reluctantly than little Murmur did now. A Prince of Hell could have transported himself to Timbuktu and back in the time it took Murmur. And in the time it took him to walk to the spot the great finger pointed at, that Prince could have circled the earth ten times.
The finger lifted to point squarely at the little demon. 'You, Murmur, are going to become a conjurable demon.'
'A?a conjurable demon?' gasped the little demon, gaping up at his teacher in open-mouthed horror.
* * * *