Diane looked sad for a moment, then looked up at me and smiled weakly. "Everybody wants to know what happened, why did the perfect couple break up? I think that evening was the
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beginning of the end for us. Not because we were going to have sex, but because I think we both realized that we were forcing ourselves to be something that neither of us wanted."
Diane looked at me and shrugged. "I'm tired of doing things for other people or because it's expected of me, I'm not going to do it any longer."
"Good for you."
Diane smiled at me. "there's something else I want you to know."
I leaned forward, wondering what could possibly come next,
"After football season, I'm. quitting cheerleading."
this might have been even more of a surprise than the news about her and Ryan. "Really?"
"Yep, and I'm trying out for the basketball team. I'm doing this for me." Her face lit up and I could tell that she meant every word.
"Oh, Diane." I was practically speechless.
My head raced with all the information from the evening -- this was only our first official meeting and already so many of us were changing and so many secrets had been revealed.
I was sure that over time only more would come out.
Maybe even a few secrets of my own.
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chapter sixteen
OUR FIRST OFFICIALS CLUB OUTING was the following Saturday, to go Homecoming dress shopping together. I was extra excited because Rita was home from Northwestern and was going to be the excursion's honorary member.
But first we had to survive dinner with my parents on Friday night.
"Oh, it's so good to have my babies home," Mom kept saying.
I tried to ignore her, surveying the menu at our family's favorite restaurant, the Wilderness. (I never understood what was so wild about a family restaurant attached to a shopping center.) the waiter came over to take our order, and I looked down so Rita could be the first one to order. She was always a lot braver with our parents than I was.
"Yes, I'll have the filet mignon with the garlic mashed potatoes!' she said, looking directly at Mom, daring her.
"Rita . . ." Mom said with deep disapproval.
Rita took her napkin off her plate and put it on her lap. "Mother, young girls need their protein. Penny, what are you having?"
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the waiter looked over at me, obviously confused. I just smiled as I ordered a cheeseburger -- medium rare.
Mom started in, her big brown eyes, exactly like mine, narrowing as she locked in on Rita. "Rita . . Penny Lane ..." Oh, great, I was in trouble, too. "You know how we respect your decision to eat what you like, but I would really like for you to just try to understand where your father and I are coming from."
"See, Mom, I know where you're coming from." Rita made a grand gesture as she held out her hands. "I know what Paul would do in a situation like this, but I am not Paul McCartney. I'm Rita Bloom, and I choose meat. Lois of meat."
While most people become vegetarian for health or ethical reasons, Mom and Dad had done it simply because Paul McCartney led them there.
Sensing the tension at the table, Dad turned to me. "So, Penny Lane, what plans do you have with your big sister this weekend?"
I was about ready to tell him about the shopping trip when Rita interrupted with "I'm so excited because I get to meet Penny's club."
Uh-oh.
"You've joined a club, honey! that's great," Mom said as she took a sip of her water.
"Yes, what kind of club, kiddo?" Dad leaned in, interested.
"Well, urn, it's not really an official club." I threw daggers at Rita with my eyes. this was so humiliating. What was I supposed to say? See, Mom and Dad I'm sick of boys because your best
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friend's son was an ass so I decided to have my friends join together and forget about boys entirely.
"Penny started it. It's called the Lonely Hearts Club," Rita chimed in.
"Oh, oh, Penny Lane, that's so, so wonderful!" Mom put her hand up to her chest, thrilled that I'd named something after the Beatles, although she had no idea what the Club stood for. I could've started a club called the Yellow Submariners that went out in the ocean and clubbed baby seals and they still would've been proud.
"Kiddo, it's so great you're taking an interest in your heritage. Goo goo g'joob.'" Dad beamed.
My heritage? My great-grandfather on my fathers side was from England, true, but nowhere near Liverpool. And Mom's family was from Germany.
"Do you even want to know what the club is about?" I said. "Some friends and I have decided to stop dating guys ... at least until were out of McKinley."
Dads eyes lit up. "Penny Lane, that is the best idea for a club!"
Mom looked thoughtful for a minute before she said anything. "Penny Lane, is there a reason why you are doing this?"
My heart started beating quickly. She knew. I shook my head. "Not really. there were a lot of factors, I guess. But I'm just sick of my friends getting hurt.. ."
"Well, again, Penny Lane, this is just super." Dad reached across the table and grabbed my hand. "I want you to know
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that I'm more than willing to move more tables into the basement when this really takes off. to think that our baby girl has started a Beatles Club!"
"It's not a Beatles Club!" I pulled my hand away. He winked at me. "Well, a father can dream, cant he?" Mom sat silently at the table. I wasn't sure what she was making of all of this. But she didn't say a word when the food came and Rita and I dove into our red meat and enjoyed every bite.
It was strange. I'd been to countless dances and semiformal events since grade school. But this was the first time I'd been dress shopping with a group of friends. it really cemented the importance of the Club, and how much fun we could have without guys. I did think the salespeople were a little annoyed at having six teenage girls running around the dress section screaming at each other, but it didn't take long for Rita to take control.
"On a scale of hotness, you rate at scorching, baby!" she said to Amy as she walked out of the dressing room in a black dress.
As I watched, my sister grabbed her cell phone and started to mimic a cheesy game show host. "Next up, we have Amy Miller, wearing a black satin dress. Notice the beaded detail on the cap sleeve and the Empire waist to accentuate her ample bosom, . . ."
Amy blushed, did a little twirl, and curtsied.
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the door opened to the dressing room next door. "Are you ready for me?" Tracy asked as she walked out for us to all admire her dress . , . whatever it was.
We all stared. Tracy was wearing what was best described as a smock -- a hideous, floral smock that even my grandmother wouldn't have been caught dead wearing. Tracy strutted down the hallway to the three-way mirror. "Hey, Pen, I thought I would get the wardrobe ready for when were old maids." She smiled as she took the smock off to reveal a red silk fitted dress with a red sequined belt underneath. She looked amazing. "Come on, Rita -- what's my hotness rating?"
"Red hot all the way!"
Tracy did a little clap and jumped up and down. I noticed that she was behaving more and more like Diane every day.
She would've killed me if I'd told her that.
"Looks like you've all got your dresses," Rita said as we inspected one another's choices. Diane had found a pink flapper dress, Jen had a classic strapless black dress, and Morgan was wearing an Empire-waist red silk dress, while I'd chosen a black dress with a halter top and fitted lace skirt.
We lined up in front of the mirrors for a full view.
"You know, "said Jen. "I like that I found a dress for me. it always been about whether he'll like it enough --"
"Yeah, "said Amy. "Like it enough to take it off."
Jen smiled. "I really feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders."
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Diane nervously bit her lip. "I know, especially since I can c
oncentrate on other things. Actually, that's where I need your help, Jen. I've decided to quit cheerleading after Homecoming .. . and try out for the basketball team."
there were a couple of gasps. Rita started applauding.
"Holy crap!" Tracy exclaimed. "Diane! You're .."
Diane blushed and looked down.
". , . going to completely kick ass!"
Diane lit up. "You think?"
"Hells, yeah! I can't watt until Principal Braddock hears the news. He'll die when he finds out one of his beloved cheerleaders is ... urn, switching teams, I guess."
Diane laughed. "I can only imagine the rumors that will be swirling around once I tell the girls."
"Do you mind me asking why you decided to join the team? it isn't as easy as it looks," Jen said.
"No, I don't think that at all I've always loved basketball, and I would practice out side with my dad sometimes, I guess because he didn't have a son to play with. But I want to be part of a team. I want to try something different. Maybe I'm being selfish, but I'm sick of cheering for other people. I want someone cheering for me."
"Do you want to come over this week and run drills?" Jen offered.
Diane smiled. "that would be amazing. Ryan is already going through plays with me, and we've been practicing on the weekends."
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"You have?" Tracy asked.
"Yeah!" Diane's expression quickly changed. "Watt -- there isn't anything going on between us. I hope that's not what you think."
Tracy shrugged.
"He's been encouraging me for a while to do it, and I needed some practice to see if I was hopeless. But he seems to think I'll do well. Probably not start or anything, but that doesn't really matter to me. I just want to be on the team."
Jen nodded. "that's the spirit! And I'm sure you're going to be great."
"I don't know .,."
We all erupted with words of encouragement. I could see Diane's confidence growing as she got the support from everybody.
Tracy put her hand out and we all stared at it for a second. "Come on .." she said.
I put my hand on top of hers, and one by one everyone else followed. there, in our new dresses, in front of mirror after mirror.
Tracy looked at me to say something.
"to our new members, our kick-ass Homecoming dresses, and Diane Monroe, basketball goddess!"
We cheered and hollered. the poor sales ladies nearly keeled over at their registers.
Once we'd bought our dresses, Tracy suggested we "pig out so much we don't fit into them anymore." We did our best.
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After we said good-bye to everyone, Tracy drove Rita and me home. Tracy popped a CD into her car stereo. "I have a surprise for you, Miss Penny Lane," she said. the Beatles began to fill the car.
"Wow, Tracy! I can't believe . . ."
"Yeah, well, I like to think that I can be full of surprises as well!" She winked at me.
Rita leaned forward between the driver and passenger seats. "You know, Pen, you guys are going to get more and more popular. Dad is going to have to build a new addition to the house to fit you all in."
I smiled. Maybe Rita was right. Maybe this was only the beginning.
Tracy turned up the volume and we all began to sing along.
"I've got to admit it's getting better . , ."
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chapter seventeen
A WEEK LATER, THE TIME CAME for me to go to the dance, and it was a total and complete disaster.
What had I been thinking? My mind was racing. Why had I made such a big deal about us going to Homecoming? I couldn't be seen in public looking this way!
there was banging on my bathroom door. Diane. "Come on, Penny -- what are you doing in there? Were all dying to see how you look."
I was pretty sure I was having a panic attack. "Uh, just a second . . ." I tried to adjust the dress for the millionth time, but it wasn't helping. there was no way I could go like this. I wanted to walk into that dance with my head held high. I swore this was not what I looked like at the store. I started feeling moisture form around my eyes. Great, not only did I look ridiculous, I was going to ruin the makeup Diane had spent so much time on.
"Penny Lane -- get your butt out here now!" Diane howled, her fist banging more.
All right -- these were my friends, and they'd have to be honest. I would just go out and see what they had to say. Maybe I was overreacting.
Or maybe I was going to be sick.
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I opened the door.. . .
"Ta-dah!" I did my best to make a dramatic entrance, but didn't dare make any eye contact.
"Penny, you look beautiful." Diane beamed. "I'm so used to seeing you in T-shirts and jeans, but look at you!" She was jumping up and down. I had never known anybody to be more excited about going to a dance ... with a bunch of girls.
Of course I knew Tracy would get down to business. "And look at your chest -- who knew you had such a rack?"
Diane hit Tracy on the arm.
"I know!' I said. "I'm so horrified. it didn't look like this when I tried it on. Maybe it's the bra." I looked down and all I could see was my cleavage.
"Please," Diane countered. "You have such a rockin' body, and you need to start showing it off."
"I know. It's sick," Morgan said. "Do you have any idea how lucky you are that you don't have to watch what you eat?"
Diane came over and started adjusting my hair. "Don't worry, you look great. Plus, it's really not as bad as you think. Look at all of you -- not just your chest -- in the mirror. You're beautiful."
As we arrived at school, we all double-checked our hair and makeup. I was becoming more confident in my outfit, and -- t hated to admit it -- there was a part of me that was dying to see what the reaction would be from some of the guys.
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I could feel the music vibrating before we even opened the front door. I picked up the pace, suddenly wanting to get to the gym and get the entrance over with, I hurried inside, not sure what to expect. At least nobody was laughing or pointing at us.
then I heard it -- the high, screeching noise of teenage girls when they spot each other at formal events.
"AAAAMMMMYYYYYY -- you look sooooo beautiful!"
"OHMYGODJEN, killer dress.'"
"Look at YOU.'"
"No, look at YOU'"
"Get out of here. I cannot believe you're wearing that color."
"No, YOU get out."
Kara, who had ended up going with a date, looked at the six of us and said, "So, you guys really are serious about the Club, huh?"
"We sure are," Diane said with so much enthusiasm, I thought that she was probably the most excited of all of us.
"Well... good for you." Kara wrapped a shawl around her thin frame. "I don't think I could ever do that, but good for you guys."
Diane grabbed my arm. "Come on, let's dance." the six of us maneuvered onto the dance floor and started moving in time to the music. A few of our friends started to join us. the music was too loud to have a conversation, but I
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did find myself explaining the Club anytime a new person joined, us.
I swung around and was surprised to see that our circle of six had doubled -- Kara had joined us, along with a few other juniors and seniors.
After an hour of nonstop dancing, I took a break to go to the restroom and make sure I had some makeup left. I was having so much fun, I almost completely forgot about all the couples at the dance. I smiled at the thought of all the girls who were spending more time on the dance floor with us than with their dates.
Homecoming Queen Marisa Klein was with our group so much that her boyfriend, Homecoming King Larry Andrews, finally pulled her away so he could dance with her,
Jessica Chambers and her boyfriend got into a fight, since he felt she was ignoring him. in truth, they pretty much fought about anything -- I didn't know him too well since he didn't go to school at McKinley, but I knew she could do much better. r />
"Guess we're the people to be seen with tonight!' Tracy said with a laugh as we headed back in.
then the D] switched the music from pop to a ballad, and both Tracy and I froze, not sure what to do as couples started walking by us hand in hand.
"Ummm, anybody want to go grab a drink?" Tracy asked while the rest of our party came over to join us. the six of us found refuge at a table where it felt nice to sit down and rest my feet.
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"Oh my God, Diane," Tracy said, leaning across the table, "Did you see who Ryan is here with?"
WHO!?!
I casually shifted my line of vision to find Ryan. I'd been so wrapped up in the Club that I hadn't even noticed he was there.
"Relax," Diane said. Relax? Was she insane? "I knew he was bringing Missy you guys. It's cool."
It was? Why was Diane being so calm about this? Finally something snapped into place.
"Watt a second -- Missy Winston?" I said. "that freshman who spilled her drink on Kara? You've got to be kidding!"
"Seriously, Penny, it's no big deal. Apparently, Missy asked him out after the football game against Poynette. I think he was taken aback at how forward she was, but it seems the person he wanted to ask already had plans."
"Who was he going to ask?" For some reason, my heart was pounding.
"He wouldn't say. I told him that I'm not dating anymore, so I don't see why he thinks I would be upset."
Diane was way more mature than I would've been. I got up and decided it was time to make the rounds. Erin Fitzgerald was in the middle of telling me about the school play when I got a tap on my shoulder.
I turned around and almost couldn't catch my breath. Ryan was in a beautiful black suit with a light blue shirt and blue tie that made his eyes stand out even more.
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