Why does that sound so good?
She closed her eyes and swallowed hard.
Because I’ve spent so much of my life dreaming of having a man look at me the way he does.
There was a knock on her hotel door. Simone? Jessica groaned because she wasn’t ready to talk to her. Simone would try to put a good spin on a situation that clearly had no up side. Slowly, Jessica made her way to the door. It wasn’t as if Simone would go away. She’d simply let herself in.
Jessica opened the door slowly. “I’d really rather not—”
Ballasare held something out to her. It took her a moment to realize it was her phone. “It’s time to return this to you.”
She took it from him with a nod. “You’re sending me home.”
“No, I’m asking you to stay.” He met her eyes, and the desire she saw in his lit an instant craving within her.
“Asking?” Jessica peered out of the door. The guards were gone.
“Stay because you want to, because you want to see the island, meet my people. Stay and climb down a cliff with me to the most beautiful beach in the world. Let me show you how good it can be here.”
This is the moment when I should just blurt out the truth. Get it over with. Like removing a Band-Aid, it’s best done quickly.
She opened her mouth to do just that when he bent and gave her a kiss full of tender promise. She dropped her phone to the floor as her hands sought the powerful muscles of his chest. It was an entirely different kiss than the one they’d shared the day before. This time his tongue teased her lips to open. This wasn’t a plundering or a claiming, it was an invitation.
One she didn’t have the strength to turn down. His hands went to her waist, holding her to him as he slowly explored and worshipped her mouth. Her mind might be buzzing with doubts, but her body knew what it wanted. Each tease of his tongue against hers sent a flutter of desire through her. There was no rush, and she could have spent a lifetime in that moment. He kissed his way across her cheek and down her neck. It was even better than she’d imagined. She arched her neck to allow him greater access and gave herself over to the pleasure. Don’t stop. Please. This is what I want.
When he finally raised his head, he pulled her flush against him and tucked her beneath his chin. His heart beat loudly in her ear. His chest rose and fell raggedly against her cheek. His excitement pulsed against her stomach.
After a lifetime of only dreaming of strong arms wrapping around her, she wasn’t in a hurry to end the experience. What was the harm of letting it go on for just a few more minutes?
The man she’d slept with hadn’t held her this way. He hadn’t made her feel both safe and wanton at the same time. Sex with him had been a quickly executed mistake with nothing but an awkward departure on his part.
A mistake that stands between me and any chance with Ballasare. Why do I have to feel this way for a man who would think of me as a whore for being with one other man?
It’s an archaic double standard.
So wrong.
But I wish I had saved myself for him.
Jessica blinked back tears. “I can’t stay,” she said thickly.
He raised her chin with his hand until she was forced to meet his eyes. “I don’t believe in the word can’t.”
A prince wouldn’t.
“I’m not the woman for you.”
He kissed her forehead. “Why don’t you let me decide that?”
Here goes. “I’m not a—”
Her words were lost in his next kiss which was bolder, deeper. It was a demonstration of how she made him feel, and that realization was dizzying. I want him. I don’t want to, but I do. And more surprisingly, he wants me.
Every dateless weekend, every dance she’d attended alone, every night she’d hugged her pillow to her and cried herself to sleep—they all faded away until there was only Ballasare and the euphoria of being in his arms.
“Maybe this is forever. Maybe we won’t make it that far, but I can’t imagine letting you go right now. I won’t force you to stay. It’s up to you, Jessica. Do you have the courage to see where this takes us?”
Ballasare hadn’t expected his request to cause her pain, but the torment in her eyes was real. He hated that his callous behavior might be the cause of her unhappiness. He knew he could be single-minded, and that at times it blinded him to the feelings of others, but he hadn’t meant to hurt her.
Her hands fisted against his chest. “I don’t know if I do or if I have the right to.”
He kissed her lips lightly. “I grant you that right. Princes can do things like that.”
She gave him a funny look. “I want to stay, but—”
He kissed her again. “It’s settled then. Come, let’s go outside before we end up doing something that would better be left for our wedding night.” He’d felt lust before, but this was deeper. Her fire, her touch, was addictive. Never before had he understood how one woman could be enough, but he couldn’t remember the face of anyone before her nor imagine wanting another as desperately as he wanted her.
She shivered against him. “You haven’t asked, and I haven’t said yes.”
“True, but I don’t see this turning out any other way, do you?”
She stepped out of his embrace. “I need a minute to think.”
Just then Simone came around the corner. “Oh, good, you’ve made up. I knew you would, so I brought the most perfect chaperones.” Just then three children bounded up behind her. The youngest looked to be around three. The two older boys were both under the age of ten.
Jessica smiled and stepped past Ballasare. She pointed at the eldest boy and said, “Let me guess, you’re Philip.” She pointed at the second boy. “That would make you Henry.” Then she bent before the little girl. “And you must be Danielle. I see you brought Mr. Fluffmonster with you.” The girl held up her white toy bunny and giggled.
All three of the children were smiling, pleased with her greeting. Ballasare looked on with pride. Warm. Welcoming. She’ll make a fine queen.
Once the children spotted him, Ballasare opened his arms and the three ran to him for a tight hug that lifted the children off their feet and deposited them all laughing. There were times when such informality would be frowned upon, but this wasn’t one of them. Although Ballasare had been looking forward to spending time alone with Jessica, he was never sorry to see his young cousins.
“Your generosity will one day be repaid to you,” Ballasare said to Simone with a wink.
Simone smiled brightly. “I hope so.”
“Could you take us to the gardens, Balla? Please?” Danielle pleaded. “I want to swing.”
“I hear there is a playroom in the bottom of a castle on the east side.”
Still smiling, Simone ruffled the hair of her granddaughter. “Ballasare is joking, sweetie. Don’t go there.” She glanced at Jessica. “I don’t suggest you go either.”
“Why? What’s really there?” Jessica asked.
Caught in the lightness of the mood, Ballasare wiggled his eyebrows. “The old dungeon.”
Jessica’s mouth dropped and she looked so adorably shocked he would have pulled her back into his arms and kissed her had they been alone.
“A real dungeon? Take us there. We’ve seen the gardens a thousand times,” Philip said.
Ballasare turned and picked up Jessica’s phone from just inside the doorway. “Your grandmother has said no, Philip, I must respect that.”
The boy made a face. “If I were the crown prince, I wouldn’t listen to anyone. I would do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.”
“Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.” Ballasare repeated the words Jessica had thrown at him earlier as he handed her phone back to her. Jessica’s eyes flew to his, and he was rewarded with a smile so beautiful it stole the breath from him.
She was not an easy woman to impress, and she would hold his feet to the fire when he disappointed her, but there was a goodness in her that brought
out a goodness in him. “Come, it’s a beautiful day, and I believe I can beat all of you to the elevator.”
“You’re on,” Henry and Philip said in unison.
Danielle tugged on his hand. “Carry me, Balla. I want to win.”
He bent, allowing her to climb up onto his back as she’d done many times before then bent in preparation. Before announcing the start of the race, he glanced across at Jessica. She was smiling and laughing with Simone. Yes, that’s how it should be.
He called, “Go!” and took off down the hall, easily matching his stride to his young cousins, reaching the elevator all together. Ballasare and his brothers had been raised to not see each other as competition. One might become king, but all were responsible for the survival of Rubare Virgina. He intended to pass the same philosophy down to his own children one day.
Jessica had passed every test he’d thrown at her and had come out the other side glowing—in true royal style. He’d given himself a week to make the decision, but it was a mere formality.
From the moment he’d spotted her in the crowd at the conference, no other woman had compared. She was meant to stay and rule with him. The rightness of it was clear to him.
Now all he had to do was convince her.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Jessica turned in the passenger seat of Ballasare’s car to study his profile as he drove. It was the first time they’d gone anywhere alone in the week since he’d asked her to stay. He’d said he had something important to tell her.
She had something to tell him as well.
From her new wardrobe to the staff that now followed her around to make sure her every wish was granted, Jessica felt like she’d stepped into a fairy tale. Diamonds draped her neck, gold adorned her wrists. None of it mattered to her. Her prince had been attentive and charming all week and she’d allowed herself the pleasure of imagining he could be hers.
My prince. That sounds as crazy as all of this feels good.
Just as he’d promised, he’d shown her his island. From historical sites to castles new and old, picnics overlooking the ocean, and dinners so fancy she hadn’t used half of the cutlery provided. Hand in hand they explored his country, and each day was more magical than the last. She learned about him, not only through their conversations but also from the rotating chaperones who accompanied them.
His mother was sweet and timid. With some coaxing, she shared stories from Ballasare’s childhood. Jessica particularly enjoyed hearing how at age four he’d decided growing up to be Superman was preferred over becoming king. His young mind had compared his father’s reign over the island to a superhero’s ability to fly and the choice had been clear to him. To his mother’s chagrin, it had been difficult to convince her son that such a switch was not possible.
His two brothers, Niccolino and Robert, were irreverent and hilarious. Midweek, they accompanied Ballasare and Jessica to the factory where the island’s ore was refined. Afterward, they all had lunch with the workers, an event that changed Jessica’s view of them. They were respected by the people of Rubare Virgina, but they didn’t hold themselves above them. They sat beside them, knew their names, and addressed their concerns.
Each night Ballasare walked her back to her room and gave her a kiss that was harder and harder to end. There was always someone, though, who showed up to make sure it did. The sexual attraction that had been instant between them was now a constant companion, pulsing beneath their restrained touches.
She no longer wanted to run from him, but to him. She’d never known such hunger before. It was equal parts frustrating and exhilarating.
She spoke to her parents daily, and they knew she was considering a relationship with Ballasare. They had switched from cheering her on to win money to dating a prince with disconcerting ease. Her mother had wanted to know about Ballasare’s personality and how he treated her. Her father had asked for a direct phone number to the king and said the conversation between them had gone well. He refused to say more on the subject and Ballasare had merely echoed what her father had said.
A week together. A week of allowing herself to live a lie.
It felt wrong, but she knew the life she would return to without him. She didn’t want to be alone again. For the first time in her life she had someone, and he was everything she’d yearned for and more.
Yes, he still said things that were so arrogant she was tempted to slap him, but she’d also discovered he had the ability to laugh at himself if those indiscretions were brought to his attention the right way.
His cards for example. She rolled her eyes skyward just thinking about them. During a moment when their chaperone of the day was out of earshot, she’d asked him what tests he’d planned for her but hadn’t given her. He’d proudly pulled out a deck of cards.
Each card had been white with a purple inkblot on it. When he’d held the first one up, he’d looked so proud of himself that she’d barely held back her laughter. “What do you see when you look at this card?” he’d asked.
The inkblot was clearly an outline of woman going down on a man. Ballasare’s expression had been serious, and it was obvious he thought the test was genius. Jessica had done her best to keep a straight face and said, “It looks like a woman castrating a man.”
Ballasare had made a face and showed her another card. This time it was an inkblot that was an unsubtle representation of a man entering a woman from behind. “What exactly were you hoping to learn from this test?” she’d asked.
“Just say what you see.”
How she hadn’t lost her composure then was a mystery to her, but she’d maintained her composure. “Oh, wait, I do see something. That’s a goat with some sick bastard doing something horrible to it.”
“No,” Ballasare had said and turned the card to look at it. “Is that really what you see?”
She’d given in to a fit of laughter then. It only took a moment for him to join her as he realized she was teasing him. He’d placed the cards to the side and drawn her into his embrace.
“Do you know the penalty for mocking a royal?”
“Is it having to look at the rest of the cards?” she joked.
Between quick kisses, he’d growled, “Just for that, I’m keeping them. Since they are difficult for you to decipher, I’ll demonstrate each one of them, again and again until they no longer confuse you.” The bulge of his cock had validated the sincerity of his offer, but there was laughter in his eyes.
She didn’t doubt that sex with him would be amazing. The man was everything: kind, observant, strong, sensual, and drop-dead delicious. The way he held her, kissed her, touched her . . . she knew he’d use every skill to ensure it was good for both of them. He will make sure it is amazing for me.
Any fear she’d once had of him hurting her had been replaced with the dread of knowing she would lose him.
But he’s mine—for now.
“I’d like that,” she’d whispered.
The deep answering kiss he’d given her had been quickly interrupted by one of his uncles who had joked, “How soon is the wedding? You may want to move the date up.”
Jessica had laughed along with Ballasare even though her insides had twisted painfully at the mention of a wedding that would never happen.
We’re finally alone. There won’t be a better time to tell him. I need to do it.
He turned, caught her watching him, and took her hand in his before looking back at the card. She clung to his hand. He won’t look at me that way once he knows.
Will he hate me for not telling him right away?
Will he be hurt or angry?
Can I blame him for being either?
Yes, the practice is outdated and wrong, but he didn’t hide it from me. He told me the kind of woman he can marry. I stayed and let myself fall in love with a man I can’t have; that’s my fault.
And if I hurt him by doing it—it’s something I’ll always regret.
A week of spending time with Jessica had removed any doubt in Ballas
are that she was the one for him. His family adored her, his people accepted her, and the more he was with her, the more he wanted to be with her. He didn’t resent how the traditions of his people had kept him from consummating how he felt about her, because the wait, which was sweet torture, would make their wedding night that much more amazing.
Rather than rushing into bed with her, he had gotten to know other sides of her. Their personalities meshed well. She not only made him laugh, but she asked him questions that pushed him to have a position on topics he hadn’t previously put much thought into. Were any of the women in the royal family allowed to work in the family’s business? Were they allowed to study abroad? Would any of that change when he became king?
When his father had asked him what he saw in her, Ballasare hadn’t known where to start or end the list. She was everything he’d hoped to find and more. When a man was planning a lifetime with a woman, he had to look beyond the present heat of lust and determine if there was enough to sustain such a union. The friendship developing between them made him certain he and Jessica could make it.
She was intelligent, kind, funny, and able to get along with everyone he introduced her to. Having read about her difficulties with connecting with people in the past, he’d assumed that would still be true. It wasn’t, though. She’d told him she’d conquered her insecurities and she had. It showed every time she shook the hand of a stranger and found ways to connect with them. He’d imagined her as a delicate flower that would blossom only with his tutelage, but the truth was she was already resilient and beautiful in her own right. Watching her win over the hearts of his people with her warm smile and quiet confidence made him proud of her and proud to have her at his side.
Although there was some risk involved in sneaking off to be alone with her, what he wanted to say to her would not be done in front of the watchful eyes of his family. A man only asked a woman once, and he wanted it to be perfect. For that reason, he’d took her to a place special to him and where he knew no one would disturb them. He parked his car outside the ruins of the castle and assured himself that he had enough self-control to do this right.